“Whew! Today was busier than usual, huh Winona?” Applejack asked her pet as they left the cow pastures to head back to their house. The dog barked out an agreement before continuing her panting. Today had consisted of far more than just tending to the animals and bucking trees, but Applejack was feeling pleased nonetheless. There was nothing more satisfying than knowing she had completed a hard day of work. And after completing such a day, she loved a well-earned rest. She smiled inwardly at the thought of it. She really didn’t love anything more than rest. Well, except for her family, of course. Her friends too, but family first. Yep, Granny Smith, Apple Bloom…
Big Mac.
She shuddered inwardly as the memories of that story she read online flooded her brain. The story was so…what’s a word Rarity would’ve used? Repulsive. Yeah, that was it. She shook her head to get rid of the thoughts of that horrible story and made her way inside. She trotted up the stairs and headed towards her room. She heard Apple Bloom giggling and smiled. She was always wanting the best for her younger sister, and making sure the young mare was happy. She stopped though, when she heard the giggle morph into a ridiculously loud guffaw. She turned around and headed to her sister’s room. She opened the door to see Apple Bloom glued to her laptop, laughing at something on the screen,
“Ah thought ya was s’posed tah be doin’ yer homework?” Applejack questioned.
Apple Bloom looked up at her, “Relax sis, Ah’ve been done fer almost an hour now. Ah was just watchin’ some funny videos online. Scoots gave me this website that she uses, an’ it’s got a ton of great videos on it.”
Applejack took a seat beside her sister, “What’s it called?”
“Youtube.”
Applejack froze. She had heard of this site before. It was like the gateway drug of the internet. There were so many videos for Apple Bloom to watch, that the young mare probably didn’t know where to start. As of now, the screen had been paused on two stallions and a mare, their faces contorted into shock and disgust.
“So uh…what video are ya watchin’ in particular?” Applejack questioned.
“Just some reactions to a video that’s s’posed tah be super gross.”
“What’s the video called?”
“’Two Mares, One Cup’.” Apple Bloom replied as she opened up another browser. “Ah’ve tried tah find it, but every time Ah do, the parental block keeps poppin’ up!” she huffed and crossed her forelegs, “Why do Ah gotta have a parental block? Ah don’t even have parents!!”
Applejack snorted angrily and smacked the back of her sister’s head, “Watch that mouth of yers! We do have parents, that are lookin’ down on us from the Heaven Fields, and they ain’t happy with yer words right now!”
Apple Bloom gingerly rubbed the back of her head, “Alright, Ah’m sorry. Geez…” she started typing something up before she stopped. She sniffed the air, her face scrunched up, and she turned to Applejack,
“Sis, ya need tah take a shower. Ya smell. Bad.”
Applejack got up, “Ah smell like hard work.” She swatted her little sister with her tail, “Unlike yerself.”
Apple Bloom smacked away the offending tail, “Ah do hard work fer mah brain now, not mah body. Ah need tah be smart if Ah wanna be a good alchemist like Zecora.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Applejack stated before trotting out of the room and heading to her own. She headed for the bathroom and jumped into the shower. As she did, she found herself wondering what ‘Two Mares, One Cup’ actually was. What about that video freaked out the ponies that Apple Bloom was watching? How bad could it possibly have been? Well, obviously bad enough that the parental blocker wouldn’t allow her to see it, but so bad that Youtube would only let you watch videos of other ponies freaking out about it? This had peaked her interest, and now she had to see this video for herself. Unfortunately, the only computer in the house was Apple Bloom’s. There was no way she’d be able to watch the video without being caught and questioned by her. She scratched her chin,
“Where can Ah watch that damn video?”
She thought for a while longer, and suddenly, the idea popped into her head. She knew just where to go, and she’d make sure to head there first thing tomorrow.
-MLP-
The next day…
Applejack had found herself lucky. Twilight decided to hold a little get-together for the Mane Six at her castle. The Earth Pony sat in the castle’s dining room, surrounded by her best friends, as they all chatted and ate the various dishes laid out in front of them. She decided that there wouldn’t be a better time than now to ask her question.
“Does anypony know what ‘Two Mares, One Cup’ is?”
They stared at her for a moment, then looked at one another.
Dash scratched her chin, “It sounds familiar…” she suddenly smiled and slammed her hooves on the table, “I remember what it is now!” she turned to Twilight, “Is the library’s main computer on?”
Twilight nodded, “Well yes, it should be-”
“YES!!!” the Pegasus jumped up and galloped out of the room. A few seconds later, her head popped from around the door frame,
“Why are none of you following me?”
Rarity rolled her eyes, “Because nopony wants to follow you. If you’re so excited about this, it can’t be anything good.” She focused back on her plate, “Or legal, for that matter…”
Dash stomped a hoof, “Come on! Just check it out. I promise, it won’t take much of your time.”
Applejack rose from her seat, “Well, Ah did ask if anypony knew what it was.” She trotted past Dash, “So of course, I’m in.”
Dash grinned, “See? It cant’t be as bad as you think if AJ wants to see what it is.”
“But Applejack admitted that she doesn’t even know what it is…” Fluttershy responded.
“Then this is a great opportunity to…” she grinned even harder, “LEARN about it.”
The Wonderbolt knew she got what she wanted as she watched Twilight’s ears perk up.
“Learning? I love learning!!” she jumped out of her chair, “Let’s go girls! To the library!”
Pinkie and Fluttershy rose from their seats. Rarity let out a groan/sigh of defeat, before following them. They headed to the library wing of the castle. Spike was busy typing up a report of some sort, when he felt six ponies staring at the back of his head. He spun around in his custom wheelie chair to face them,
“Uh…are you girls okay? Can I help you with anything?”
“We need the computer.”Dash stated. “They want to learn about something, and I’m going to teach them.”
Spike snorted as he stifled his laughter, “You? YOU? You’re going to teach them something?” He got up and stepped to the side, “This, I have to see.”
Dash plopped down into the large chair and quickly typed in a link to the video.
“Spike, move yer big butt tah the back!” Applejack ordered.
Spike grumbled as he moved to the back of the small group. Dash opened the page to the video,
“Oh, wait a sec.” she reached under the desk and grabbed the trash can. She placed it on the desk next to the monitor. Confusion washed over the group,
“W-why is that there?” Fluttershy questioned.
Dash ignored her, “Before I start this, nopony is allowed to leave.”
“Rainbow, what’s going on?” Twilight asked, a bit of concern lacing her voice.
“Yeah, why can’t we leave?” Applejack asked.
“Because I’m daring you not to leave.”
There was a moment of silence before Applejack spoke up again.
“Ah don’t back down from no dare. Ah’m in.”
Pinkie shrugged, “Okay!!”
Twilight rolled her eyes, “I thought this was going to be a learning experience.”
“It is! And I DARE you to LEARN about this!!”
The lavender Alicorn rubbed her temples, “Fine. You’re an ass though…exploiting my love for learning like this.”
Rarity got up and started to leave, “I’m not staying. I’ll see you girls when you’re all done.”
Dash leaned into Pinkie’s ear, “She can’t leave. Go get her.”
Pinkie nodded and literally vanished from the group. They looked at the spot where Pinkie had been, a small cloud of dust confirming she really just vanished. They suddenly heard a shriek from Rarity be cut off, and turned to see that she was gone as well. There was a *POOF!* sound, and they turned back to see Pinkie was back in the middle of their group, clutching onto a disheveled and borderline hyperventilating Rarity. The marshmellow colored Unicorn quickly looked around the group, then at Pinkie,
“What the hell just happened?!”
Pinkie smiled, “Dashie said not to let you leave. So I grabbed you!”
Rarity got out of Pinkie’s grasp and moved to sit in between Applejack and Dash. She inhaled a calming breath, fixed her mane, and then landed a quick and heavy punch to Dash’s ribcage. The Wonderbolt let out a pained grunt and leered at Rarity,
“What the fuck was that for?!”
“For sending Pinkie to get me, that’s what!”
Dash grumbled as she scrolled over to the ‘play’ button and clicked on it. Soft piano music emitted from the speakers as the group stared at the screen. After a few seconds, Spike’s face lit up,
“Alright, Filly Foolers!!”
Twilight smacked his arm, “Show some courtesy! A good portion of Ponyville's citizens are lesbimares, which is the proper term for them, as I have taught you before!”
“How long are they going to make out?” Fluttershy asked, as her eyes kept flickering away from the screen.
“Uh…what’s she doin?” Applejack questioned. “What’s she gonna do with that cup? It’s awful close tah-”
The group’s pupils, save for Dash’s, shrank to pinpricks. Their mouths dropped open as Dash snickered.
“What the fuck is this?!” Rarity shrieked, all traces of her prim and proper behavior now nonexistent. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?!”
Twilight leapt into the air, “Spike, cover your eyes!!”
She flailed her hooves in his face, only for him to wrap his tail around her form, and force her to the ground,
“Can’t back out of Dash’s dare…” he responds to her in a flat tone.
“OHDEAROHDEAROHDEAROHDEAR!!” Fluttershy shrieked repeatedly as she jumped up to flee the room.
Dash was cackling and wiping tears from her eyes as she gave Pinkie the command once more, “Dude-don’t let her leave!!”
Pinkie nodded. POOF!! She was gone. POOF!! She was back, latched on to a terrified yellow Pegasus.
“NOPONY LEAVES THE FREAKIN’ ROOM!!” Pinkie screamed in her soprano-like tone. “NOPONY!!!”
“But I can’t take this anymore!!” Fluttershy cried out.
“This is illogical! Why would somepony want to-OH MY GODS, MAKE THEM STOP!!!” Twilight screamed. Her horn glowed brightly as she used her magical grasp to yank the trash can towards her,
“OH NO! NOT NEAR ME!!” Spike roared as he chucked his boss/sister behind him. His stomach grumbled and churned violently at the sound of explosive vomit splattering on the floor and the walls. He jumped up quickly,
“I can’t stand the sound of puking!!” he cried out. “Let me outta here!!”
He turned, only to find Pinkie blocking the door, “WHEN I SAID NOPONY LEAVES, I MEANT THAT!!”
“I’M NOT EVEN A FUCKING PONY, I'M A DRAGON!! NOW GET OUT OF MY WAY!!”
"NOOO!!"
Fluttershy broke down into tears as Rarity was the second to throw up. Dash was bent over with laughter, and Applejack’s jaw was nearly touching the floor. It all happened too fast for her,
The piano music.
This taboo image playing out before her.
The sound of chaos and vomit all behind her.
The smell of puke hit her nostrils.
Bile hit the back of her throat.
And she let it out. She spewed it onto the screen. Droplets hit Dash as she went from laughing to screaming out in disgust. Her vision went watery, and then to black.
-MLP-
Applejack woke up to the sound of the fire department and yelling. She rubbed her head and slowly sat up. Snot and leftover vomit caked her muzzle as she looked around in confusion. Her best friends (except for Rainbow Dash, because she was going to FUCKING MURDER HER when she got the chance to do so!) were all sitting together not too far away from her. Pinkie suddenly popped into her field of vision,
“Hey there Sleepy Head!! How are you feeling?”
“Ah feel like a bunch of dragons threw a party inside mah head…” Applejack replied as she rubbed her temples.
Pinkie smiled, “Well, we’d rather you have a headache than be burned to death!”
Applejack stopped rubbing her head, “What the hell are ya talkin’ about?”
Pinkie helped the Earth Pony to her hooves and they started to head to the group,
“Well, after you puked all over the screen and passed out, the smell was getting to Spike. He’s one of those ‘If I smell puke, I’m going to puke' kind of dragons. And so he did. What none of us knew, was that when a dragon pukes, it’s hot lava! And he’s like you; a freaking rocket puker. So it melted through the floor and the walls and, well-” she snorted, “With all those books and scrolls in there, something’s bound to catch on fire, right? Well, almost the entire library went up in flames.”
As they got closer to the group, Dash was speaking to the group,
“And that my friends…is ‘Two Mares, One Cup’.”
“You’re going to pay me back for every book that was destroyed.” Twilight said angrily.
Dash arched a brow, “I feel bad for what happened in there, but c’mon, I mean, nopony saw that coming! A dragon throwing up hot lava? What since does that make?” she looked up at Spike, “Don’t you guys like, swim in that stuff?”
Spike sighed, “It’s different than the magma that’s in volcanoes.” Let out a small belch, “Now can we drop it? All this talk about puke makes me wanna puke again.”
“It’s ‘want to’ Spike, not ‘wanna’. I’d show you in one of the dictionaries but the FREAKING LIBRARY IS GONE!!” Twilight shot the last part of her sentence and a glare in Dash’s direction, who only smiled and slightly shrugged. The action angered Twilight even further, causing her to tackle Dash into the ground. And while the Alicorn was all-powerful when it came to magic, the same could not be said for her physical strength. Dash simply laughed and half-heartedly blocked the light punches from the princess.
“STOP LAUGHING, YOU ASSHOLE!!” Twilight screamed. Dash’s laughs peaked to a higher octave.
“HEY, KNOCK IT OFF!!” Pinkie screamed, causing the group to stop their actions and focus on her. She cleared her throat,
“Twilight, I know you’re upset that the library is gone, but look at it this way…would you rather have all of your books okay, or all of your friends okay?”
Twilight stood there for a few seconds, her hoof still digging into Dash’s arm. She sighed and got off of the Wonderbolt,
“I guess my friends do come first…”
“Good! Now, Dashie, why don’t you apologize for burning all of Twilight’s books?”
Dash sat up, “But I didn’t-”
“FUCKING APOLOGIZE!!”
Dash flinched, “I’m sorry for burning up all of your books!!”
Twilight smiled, “You are forgiven.”
Pinkie bounced up and down, “Yay! Now we’re all friends again!! And you know what goes really good with friendship?!”
Fluttershy gave a small smile, “A party?”
“Well yeah, but not just that…SOME ICE CREAM!!”
Another round of massive puking commenced once more. Dash laughed…and laughed…and laughed…