Nothing had seemed to work out for me since I came back to Canterlot. I had been chased away from Shining Armor by those stupid ponyrazzi, and even lost my chance to play with Twilight again. If being late for my appointment at the hospital meant I was going have more bad luck I was a little more nervous about what the doctors would say to me then I already had been. But it seemed for once that fate was on my side, and I was given a clean bill of health.
Although I knew I had grown much stronger from when I was deathly ill and told I would have a permanent heart condition last year, it was a surprise even to me that the doctors could find no trace of the illness, and I had seemed to have completely healed. Aunt Celestia said that pony doctors didn’t know much about alicorn physiology, and especially had no clue about what had happened to me. They could only diagnose the physical effects they could see. That I had completely healed was probably just my inherent strength and magic much like her own. And she was so happy for me. So were my mother and father too, in his own strange way. They wanted to celebrate, but I was tired and just wanted to be alone.
I was happy too, of course. I was glad to be well again, and to not have to worry about it anymore. But really, what was more important to me was seeing my friends again, and I was still pretty disappointed I hadn’t gotten to. At least my father had seemed to have forgotten about my ‘accident’ in the library for now.
I knew I wasn't completely free of my illness anyway. It could happen again to me. It was a curse on me and those who cared about me. I hated it for that. For putting a burden on the ponies I cared about like that. I knew Shining Armor didn't completely understand it. But I had sensed the guilt from him. Even if he didn't know the full details, he still thought he had been the reason I had grown so sick. I didn't want him to feel like he was indebted to me somehow. Like he was a prisoner to my love. Not the way I was.
Sighing heavily, I drifted into sleep and dreamed about galloping through a grassy field with my friends by my side, free of the fear inside me. And with my very own knight in shining armor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was still laying in bed the next morning feeling sorry for myself, when the knight of my lonely dreams appeared in front of me in all his mop-top-maned-goofy-grin glory.
"Hey, sleeping beauty are you just going to stay in bed all day?'
I jumped up, surprised by his sudden appearance, and embarrassed by him finding me lazing about. I guessed my aunt had been serious when she said my friends were welcome anytime.
"Shining! I-I was just.... I was-" but I was cut off as his lips met mine, and all my embarrassment and disappointment melted away as I relaxed into the kiss. Oh, how I had missed it. The feel of him against me brought back all the memories of our one magical summer together, and reminded me just how much I loved him. How much I had missed him, and how much I needed him.
He pulled away and chuckled, blushing a little so I could only imagine how red my own cheeks must be.
"I didn't get to do that yesterday," He grinned, mischievously, and I giggled. "You've become too famous for me, princess. I didn't think I'd ever see my face on one of those silly tabloid magazines they sell on the street."
I grimaced, sure I must have turned even redder. "Are you freaking serious?" I demanded, and he laughed.
"Twily taped the picture to her wall."
I ran my hooves across my face and groaned. "I don't believe this."
"It's OK. They called me the 'unknown strapping stallion of the princess's dreams' so they can't be all bad," he laughed again, standing up tall and puffing out his chest, proudly. I giggled despite myself. Even as we were both seeming to lose our privacy he could always make me laugh.
"Besides, I think I found a place where we can be alone."
~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a willow tree.
A huge, veiled hideaway located right by the river running through Canterlot's Hide Park. It was right under the noses of those nosey ponies, and couldn't have been any more conspicuous if it were located on Mane Street, or the Sun Palace itself. But that's what made it such a perfect hiding place.
The tree leaned over toward the river, its veil of thick leaves flowing down like a blanket that covered the circumference of the heavy trunked willow. It looked to be hundreds of years old, with spaces where the sun shone through like sparkling stars. It was beautiful. A wonderful place to spend a day with the pony I loved. And to truly be alone with him.
He went ahead of me, still able to walk around in public unlike I was without being consumed by a bunch of dumb princess stalkers. Since the majority of Canterlot citizens were not pegasi I was still able to fly around without them being able to bother me, so I was supposed to fly in through the leaves to meet him. But I ended up crashing into the branches since my wings were too big, and I fell through the tree right on top of the unsuspecting colt.
“Ugh...thanks for dropping in.” Shining Armor grunted as I landed on top of him.
Dazed, I struggled to my hooves, and shook the leaves out of my mane. “Uh... sorry.” I muttered, blushing profusely. I was such a klutz. But suddenly he grabbed me and threw me back on top of him. “Shiny!” I cried, startled, but I began to giggle as he pulled me closer and nuzzled up to me.
“Caught you,” he murmured, tickling my nose as he kissed it.
“You’ve gotten more frisky than I remember,” I giggled, blissfully kissing him back as my heart swelled with the love I could feel all around me. It had been so long since I had felt that pure, tender feeling in that way. “I think you’ve been taking lessons from Lacolt, you naughty colt.” I added, wryly, playfully pushing his nose away.
“Ugh no, I haven’t seen that loser all year. I think he got stuck in a public school without a magic program.” he muttered, rolling over, but I pushed him back down, straddling him.
“Serves him right.” I smiled, coyly.
"Besides that, I’m a growing colt who hasn’t seen his marefriend in a year. I have needs you know.”
“Oh, and I don’t?” I demanded, playfully, and then noticed him staring at my wings tucked against my side. “Not gonna happen, canternova.” I deadpanned and he grinned, lewdly, so I pushed him away with my hoof. “Anyway, I’m the one alone in Istalia all the time. At least you have friends here.”
He grimaced, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, and my best friend is with his mare all the time.”
“Oooh, are Sweetheart and Palomides around? I want to see them again!” I exclaimed, happily. I couldn’t wait to see the sweet and kind yearling filly I had made friends with last year. I had kept up with her in letters, but it wasn’t the same as giggling and gossiping with my first real friend together. Well, filly friend anyway. I had really missed her.
“We’ll see them soon. But right now I’m not letting you go.” Shining Armor pulled me closer, and I squealed as he tickled and cuddled me close in his arms as if I were a child. I turned over and kissed him softly, no longer the child, instead the yearling filly who had found her true love. I felt such passion and joy in my heart. More so than I remembered. The way we could cuddle and play now was so different from when we were shy and reserved before. We were a little filly and colt then. Two foals experiencing love for the first time, and having no idea what to do with it. But we were bolder now. We had been through alot, probably more than most. And just as we were able to admit our true feelings we were ripped away from each other. We had alot to make up for.
"Shining Armor...do you still love me even though I’m so far away now?”
It was a question I had longed to ask him. I couldn’t write it in letters, it was much too personal for that. I had to see him in front of me to know for sure. A long distance love was hard. Especially since I didn’t even know when I could see him again. For me, I didn’t have much to distract me, nothing that would make me forget or ever stop thinking about him. It was partly my own loyalty to him, my eternal love, but it was also because I was alone and lonely. All I wanted was to see him again. It was what I thought about the most. But for him I wasn’t so sure. He had school, a life in Canterlot with other friends. I couldn’t blame him if he forgot me.
The white colt looked down at me, his bright, blue eyes full of mischief and fervor “You think I might be fooling around with other fillies?”
I winced. “N-no! I’m not saying that—I just-“ he cut me off with a kiss on the lips, and I instantly relaxed, as if it were some sort of drug coursing through my system. And with the way I functioned, my dependency on love, it may as well have been.
“Cadance, I’ll always love you. I have never stopped thinking about you since the day you left. No matter how far away you may be, you’ll always be in my heart.” His deep and gentle voice touched the deepest part of my heart, and my eyes filled up with tears of happiness as I wrapped my hooves around him and held him as close to me as possible.
"You're the most special filly to me. I really missed you this year, and whenever I felt lonely, or saw my friends with their marefriends, I just remembered how I had the most amazing filly waiting for me. I'm lucky to have you, my little reluctant princess." he grinned his silly grin, but I sensed his original uncertainty, his loneliness, and the sincerity behind his words, and I nuzzled closer to him, my heart so full.
"I'm the luckiest pony in the world to have you too," I breathed. "and I love you, my white knight."
As I cuddled closer to him, I realized that this was where I belonged. I belonged with him. In his soft hooves, under this tree, or under a starry sky, even in the middle of a crowd of curious ponies. As long as we were together, that’s all that mattered, and no pony was going to take that away from us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sun sparkled in through the slits in the willow leaves as I lay with him in the high noon heat, safe under the shade of the tree. I sighed, contently. I wished I could just lay with him forever. That I didn’t have to face the realities of growing up, of leaving Canterlot, and becoming a princess. And then I remembered; that was exactly what I had to do.
“Shining,” I started, solemnly, and he just sighed, mumbling a response as he lay his head lazily over my neck. I sighed too, but it was not a sigh of content, and I lifted my head up, forcing him to do the same. “You trust me, right.......?" I asked as he turned to me.
“Hmm? Yeah, sure I do.” He murmured.
“You know you’re the only colt for me, right?”
Now he sat up straighter, his happy and dopey expression wilting. “Yes...”
“Well,” I started again, losing my own confidence now that he seemed to be becoming serious himself. I really didn’t want to hurt him again. This wasn’t fair. “You know I’m a debutante now so…” he just blinked, waiting for me to continue. “…so I’m expected to participate in certain royal duties…” I paused again, but then Shining Armor put his hoof on my shoulder and smiled, gently.
“It’s alright, Cadance. I trust you. I know you have to do what is expected of you as a princess. You don’t have to worry.”
I turned to him and smiled, loving him all the more for his understanding. “I have to attend a royal debutante ball. I’m supposed to present myself to potential suitors for marriage… I… I don’t want to but…”
I could feel his worry then. He didn’t show it. He was darn good at masking that type of emotion. He tried to be the calm and silly colt he always was, but he must have forgotten I could feel his heart after so many months apart.
“Princess Celestia doesn’t believe in arranged marriages. Neither do my own parents. This ball is just a formality. A tradition. You’re the pony I love. I’ll never leave you and I... I hope that..." I paused, bracing myself for my next words. "Well.... I hope that when we're older and we’ve found who we’re meant to be, that we could get married one day too." I blushed so strongly I felt faint as I buried my head in my hooves.
He nudged my head back up and smiled.
“I’d like that too.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, you got so tall!” came the familiar high voice of the once small yearling filly I called my best friend.
"You got so tall!” I squealed just as excitedly.
Sweetheart, little Sweetheart had finally grown into her disproportionate tiny body, and was the size of any other teen filly now. Her rosy curls were a little shorter now, a little less wild. But her beautiful kindness shone through in her always somewhat sad, droopy eyes. It was so great to see her again.
Shining Armor had been true to his word, and had brought Palomides and Sweetheart to my new little prison in the Canterlot Palace. The willow tree was only for the two of us, though. It was our special place, and letting another pony in would violate its sanctity. So the couple had come to see me in my literal ivory tower instead.
It was just the two of them. Lyrica and Ivory had had a falling out and weren't around very much, while Blue was in Cloudsdale for flight training, and Medley had a summer job. Shining said that the two of them would be there for the Summer Sun Celebration and my big debut, but he wasn't sure about Lyrica or Ivory. I guessed she had pushed him too far with her silly antics and demands, but I was disappointed I wouldn't get to see them again in my all too short visit. Still, to have Sweetheart and silly, good natured Palomides again was enough for me for now.
The gray unicorn colt had always been much slighter than his friend, but although Shining had grown even bigger that year, Palomides was catching up, and was still taller than all of us. Even me, which made for a lot of good natured teasing for his friend.
"So, Cadance, you're a debutante now. Does that mean you're going to go off with some prince? Or are the tabloids true and my buddy, Shiny is part of some scandalous love affair?" Palomides laughed, punching Shining Armour in the chest, and receiving an equal blow in return from the embarrassed colt.
"Palomides! What a thing to say! Apologize to our friends right now, young stallion." Sweetheart chastised, sternly, pushing the two feuding unicorns away from each other.
"You guys saw those too, huh?" I grimaced in reply.
"Oh, Cadance you look so beautiful in those photos. So grown up and princess-like." Sweetheart had always been the diplomatic one in our group. She knew how to make any type of degradation or humiliation go away with her kind words and firm handle on other ponies. Without her we probably would have fallen apart long ago. And I loved her for it.
"Sorry, Cadance. I was just trying to get this guy to lighten up. He ripped my copy of the magazine up. I mean, what the hay?" Palomides chortled with mock annoyance, and received a back hoof kick from his disgruntled friend.
"You were making fun of my picture and said it wasn't even me, you big jerk," Shining Armor growled. “You said it was freaking Prince Blueblood with her. He’s a little colt!”
Palomides reared up and covered his face with his hooves. "Abuse! Abuse! Princess, have your guards arrest this colt. He's out of control, and he's under the delusion that you're dating him." He broke off into uncontrollable chuckles, but I wasn't letting him get away with that.
"I could have him arrested," I started, thoughtfully, so that Shining Armor's eyes grew wide as if he actually believed I would do such a thing to him. He was so gullible. "But I think I should have you arrested instead, for your disrespect shown toward me.” I grinned, maliciously and my ridiculous coltfriend came over and hid behind me, sticking his tongue out at his friend who seemed to be legitimately freaked out by my supposed sentence, until I burst out laughing, and so did the others.
"Oh, Palomides, you’re such a little foal,” I giggled, grabbing him over to me in a hug which Sweetheart eagerly joined in on.
“But for the record, Prince Blueblood is my cousin and I wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The moon was full that night as the four of us lay in the cool, soft grass inside the Canterlot Gardens. They were out of the way, and closed to the public at that time of night. We were safe from prying pony eyes, and could just be ourselves. Together.
We passed around another copy of that accursed tabloid magazine in our combined auras, creating a rainbow of colour around it. It was weird to actually see it. To see how these ponies I had never met, never talked to, seemed to think they knew who I was, and what was best for me. As if they had any right to judge me or my choice in coltfriends. They had no idea how fragile and empathetic I was, and how much their careless words might hurt me. They just didn’t care.
"You actually brought it here?" Palomides demanded as Shining Armour held up the Canterlot Equus magazine with the two of us on the cover. His eyes were blocked out, probably because they hadn't gotten his or his parent's permission for the photo, and he was technically still a minor. But I was there clear as day. It didn't matter how young I was. A princess was free game for them.
“Cadance wanted to see it. Say one mocking word about our pictures to her again though, and I’ll turn you into one of these statues.” Shining Armor replied, eyeing the other colt.
“You really do look pretty in the pictures, Cadance.” Sweetheart added, as I leaned over Shiny’s shoulder looking at the glossy pictures in the light of the moon and our horns’ auras.
I frowned. I didn’t think I looked pretty. I kinda looked scary. The ponyrazzi took my picture when I was angry at them, so I looked pretty pissed off. They called me fierce and protective. As I had every right to be. But then Sweetheart turned the page to the exclusive story. There I was, smiling with all my joy at my reunion with Shining Armor. My wings were spread, and I was standing tall, showing off my stupid regal stature to him. I didn’t know they had gotten a picture of me then. It was kind of embarrassing. More so than when they got a picture of my anger. Because it was the real me.
The young Istalian princess, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza will be formally recognized as the heiress to Princess Celestia of Equestria at this year’s Summer Sun Celebration now that she has come of age. She is the first alicorn to be born in over a thousand years, and is a gentle and caring young mare whose special talent is said to be the ability to spread love. We do not know much about this enigmatic young royal as she has been sheltered most of her life, but are looking forward to making her acquaintance at this year’s festival.
I read over the words in the dim light and felt a little better. They seemed to like me, and weren’t really criticizing me. They really didn’t know much about me, and I wondered why that was, and if my parents really had done their best to protect me until now, and I felt warmed by it.
“I love your crown. How come you’re not wearing it now? Can I see it?” Sweetheart asked, giddily, her one flaw always being her little filly excitement over my royalty. I couldn’t blame her for it though.
“I’m off duty now. I’ll show you later OK, Sweetie,” I paused as her ears drooped in disappointment. “I’ll even let you try it on, how’s that?” I smiled, and loved it as she cheered up like the little filly I would always remember her as.
“No way, I didn’t see this before somepony destroyed my copy. It says Shiny could be a prince from another kingdom,” Palomides yanked the magazine out of his friend’s aura, excitedly. “Apparently he has the broad chest of a royal, and a princely muzzle.” He put his hooves on top of Shining Armor’s snout and under his jaw. “Look at the princey wincey!” he giggled and was pushed off by the other colt.
“I’m going to kill you.” Shining Armor murmured, and started beating his friend with the magazine.
“You’re so violent,” I laughed. “And Palomides,” I tried to be stern and princess-like as I turned my icy glare to the menacing colt. “Stop teasing my coltfriend, or I’ll throw you in the dungeon.”
We all laughed, especially Shining Armor at Palomides’ expense, but I shot a glare at him too, and he grinned, sheepishly, than offered a hoof to the gray colt.
“I’ll ask her not to throw you in the dungeon if you quit torturing me over this stupid magazine article. Deal?”
“Deal.” Palomides smiled, genuinely as he took the white colt’s hoof in his. “Prince Big Nose.”
The giggles bubbled up through my chest into full on laughs, and I held my stomach as I rolled around on the ground indignantly as would never be permitted in my royal life. But I was with my friends now, and this was my other life. My sweeter life. The only life I wanted to live. And I relished in laughing along with them like the pony I still wished I could be.
Having enough of the magazine now, we lay on our backs and looked up at the lonely full moon, peaceful and content. It seemed subdued in the hazy summer night air, but I still felt a little of its sadness. I wondered if the others could feel what I felt from it too. Or did it broadcast its pain only to me?
“Do you guys ever wonder about the unicorn shadow up there?” I asked, tentatively.
“The Mare in the Moon?” Sweetheart asked.
“Yeah...” I mumbled, a little embarrassed suddenly.
“It does look like a unicorn is up there....” Shining Armor responded. “...but that’s just an old mare’s tale, right?”
“Uh... right..” I sighed, disappointed that he had been the one to depreciate my thoughts so soon. He looked over to me with concern before Sweetheart suddenly spoke up again.
“It would be sad if it were true. I would think that unicorn would be lonely up there,” she said. She was still the best at understanding me and what I wanted to convey.
“Sometimes when I look at the moon... I feel sad... like I can feel the unicorn’s loneliness too.” I explained.
“You mean like how you can feel another pony’s emotions?” Shining asked.
“Oh yeah! I forgot you could do that. You’re so sweet to feel sad for that lonely little pony if she’s really up there.” Sweetheart added, and I giggled, blushing a little.
“It's not exactly like that. There’s no real presence, but I feel the loneliness around me. I feel it less when the moon is waning.... but it's like she wants to tell me something...or some pony... but I'm the only one who can hear her."
We broke off into silence as each of us looked up into the sky with our own contemplations.
The crickets sang a sweet melody, and the leaves and our manes rustled in the wind, and I looked over to Shining who looked complacent and wondered what he was thinking about. Palomides was lightly holding Sweetheart's tiny white hoof in his, and I reached over to my own white knight and took his large ruffled hoof into mine.
"Whatever is up there I can't deny that a moonlit night conveys a sense of loneliness even for me.” Shining Armor was the first to speak again, and I felt warmed to have him understand some of what I felt. “Its kinda when I most miss you…” he added, bashfully, and my heart leapt as I rolled over and cuddled him close to me.
“Awww, that’s so romantic!” Sweetheart cooed, and then turned to Palomides. “What do you think, huh? Don’t you think the moon is really lonely up there too?” she asked, engagingly, grinning at her clueless coltfriend.
“Huh? Nah. I think the moon is just a big old piece of cheese.”
“A piece of cheese?!” we all shouted, sitting up.
“Jeez, what’s the big deal? Haven’t you ever heard the story that the moon is made from cheese?” he muttered, indignantly.
I could feel poor Sweetheart’s disappointment over his very unromantic notion, and felt bad for the little filly. “No.” she muttered in disheartened response.
“Look at it. It’s a ball of cheese. And the unicorn image is just uh...some mold on it,” we all just stared at him, Sweetheart with her mouth hanging open. “Maybe Princess Celestia takes a bite out of it each time she raises it, huh?” he chuckled, and I looked over to see the tabloid magazine float off the ground in a cherry blossom pink aura from where it lay beside Shiny, and bop the silly colt on the head.
“You are the most dispassionate, unromantic colt ever! You can go live on that moon for all I care. You’ll certainly be well fed there!” Sweetheart shouted at the baffled Palomides who just sat on the ground and blinked as the white yearling filly ran over to me and cuddled up to me.
“Cady, fix him! Use your love magic and make him romantic like Shining is. I never realized what a dope he was!” she sobbed, and I sighed smiling down at her.
“You know I can’t really do that. You told me yourself you didn’t want me to use my magic for you two.” I soothed, gently.
“Sorry Sweetheart, not all colts can be as dashing as me.” Shining grinned, and deadpanning I pushed him away.
“Then, can you find me a prince? Since you don’t want one that is...” she murmured, and I giggled, holding her close to me.
As far as I was concerned she could have all the princes offered to me. But I knew she really cared for Palomides, and actually liked his silly but tragically unromantic ways. He brought out her strength and made her laugh, and I couldn’t have wished for a better match for my dear friend, especially since I hadn’t been a part of it, and it was her own sweet heart that kindled it.
“Do you really think there is an actual pony up there?” Shining Armor asked me again, curiously as Sweetheart calmed down and sat with me, where I protected her under my wing like a child in the soft grass. Palomides was granted permission to sit next to us where he twiddled his hooves shamefully, glancing back up to us every now and then, trying to win us back in his favour.
“I think that there is a reason the moon makes us feel the way it does, and it speaks to us in all different ways,” I paused, and looked deep into my beautiful coltfriend’s cerulean eyes. “And when I look up at it is when I miss you most of all too.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~