Ms Princess Twilight Sparkle of Golden Oaks library of Ponyville of Equestria suddenly feels tired.
'I suddenly feel tired.' Twilight says, peaking up from reading a book with her friends nearby.
See.
A cyan pegasus totally flies up to her. 'Twilight its because you prolly stayed up all night reading, again. Books are so not good for you.'
Twilight desperately attempts to roll her eyes without falling asleep, and stifles a yawn. '.. Well I guess you do have a point. A- eeeeeyaaauuuuhhhhhuh- an average pony gets about seven hours of sleep when they ought to get nine. I- yeauhhhhhhawnnn- think in the study the parents bring down the average quite a bit. Babies keeping them up and all. Then I get even less than the average because I study so much.'
'I don' know 'bout books tirin' a pony out n all. But sleep is a might bit important. Remember when I overworked myself actin' all weird n stuff? Because I don't- sleep deprivation causes memory loss! You told me yourself this, Twi'.' Pinkie Pie holds up a sign that says if you don't know who this pony speaking is you should be ashamed of yourself.
Random pony in Equestria looks down ashamedly.
'I-eyyuahuuhauhauhooha- did?'
The cyan colored pegasus speaks again, in English- not Equestrian. 'Twilight do you even remember what we are supposed to be doing today?'
'Uhhhhhhmmm..'
A yellow one who is capable of wing-boners responds. 'Oh~ Twilight you should take better care of yourself..'
'Um, excuse me, but who are you ponies?'
Pinkie the 4th wall slayer pie says. 'Oh snap! That wasn't a random pony! That was Twilight!'
Vinyl plays a soundboard in the corner. *Ba dum ts!*
'Ba dum ts! I love the way it sounds!' Everypony stares at Pinkie, except Twilight who falls asleep collapsing onto the floor.
You awaken as Twilight Sparkle and can vaguely hear Nurse Redheart conversing with somepony.
'NO! Gummy will not aid in the recovery process!' Sound of a deflating Pink mane can be heard.
'I can walk again!' You begin walking around as Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria. Just you happen to be Xavier and you recently had your body blown apart from Phoenix herself.
Nurse Redheart busts through the door. 'Impossible! You were just in a coma! You shouldn't be awake!'
'Improbable!- Somewhat like my situation, talking ponies, what are the odds.. Oops I didn't mean to say that out loud, perhaps the nature of this place makes ones inhibitions simply, melt away!' You as Professor Charles Francis Xavier of Dr Xavier's School of Gifted Youngsters of Westchester county, of New York, of The United States of America, of Ms Princess Twilight Sparkle of the recovery wing of Ponyville's general hospital of Ponyville of Equestria, 'Begin glowing in a glowing purple radiance the likes of which have never been seen before! Floating slowly and pleasantly, going to soar into the sky-' Window is slammed shut in-
'Your face!', by Fluttershy. 'You really ought to get your bed rest.. I mean.. If that would be alright..'
'Oh my dear Fluttershy, I am sorry for intruding on the hospital's' You giggle. 'Hospitality' Ba dum ts. Vinyl waves. 'But I feel it is pertinent I stretch these sexy legs of mine. Hmph! So sexy~. Oops I mean. I have not been able to walk for years. Pity me and give me my way like your minds suggest you will do.' Everyone stares. 'Erm, I mean.. If that would be alright..'
Rainbow Dash stares at you. Then turns to Rarity 'How come he knows who we are?'
'Twilight or whoever- you got some 'splainin to do! From 'nother dimension?'
'Indeed.'
'One without ponies?'
'Indubitably.'
'You entered Twilight Sparkle of Golden Oaks library of Ponyville of Equestria's body from being decin'egrated jus' moments before?'
'Affirmative.'
'You can mind read us?'
'Certainly.'
'You can't walk?'
'Now I can!'
'And you think entirely out o' character and sometimes narrate yerself in yer own mind?'
'Eeyup.'
'And ye' were bald?'
'That hurts, Applejack.'
'Sorry.'
Pinkie Pie prods your shoulder. 'What happens in Days of Future Past?!'
'Oh Pinkamena Diane Pie, you know I'm not at liberty to say that.' Her mane deflates again, this time with the sound of a whoopee cushion.
'Oh, Ms Redheart, might it be fine if I take a walk? I understand you have a job to do, but surely my vitals are normal?'
'It would appear they are. But..'
'I assure you madame nothing strange will occur while I am out of your care.'
'Well.. Alright. You may need to come back in a few days for another check up on this event to see if you are still doing fine. I will get the discharge papers filled out.' Rainbow Dash snickers. Rarity glares at Dash.
'Pardon me madames' Professor Charles Francis Xavier of-
'You can stop that now you know! I am sure the readers don't appreciate it!' Everypony stares at Pinkie Pie. She grits her teeth furious and walks outside muttering to herself.
'..4th wall inferiors..' She walks into Vinyl's corner and orders a drink. Vinyl is confused, gets a fuming Pinkie a drink anyways and cranks up the music. She hopes Pinkie doesn't start binge drinking the cider. Her cider! She saved it up too. Vinyl shows an expression of deep defeat. Where is this anyways?
'Ah it feels relieving to finally walk on all fours again!- I mean!- To finally walk again.. yes..'
The mane 5 walk through Ponyville at a refreshing pace, their sights set upon some hills and a tree in the distance where they occasionally picnic.
'The memories this brings back.'
'..Um.. What kind of memories?.. If you don't mind my asking?'
Rarity speaks up as well. 'I am curious as well. You are a stranger in our friend's body after all. Not that you are ungentlemanly or anything of the sort.'
'Ah'm plum curious myself.'
'Well if you all insist. I on another planet, from another realm or dimension, am a hominid bipedal species with hands, much like the griffins or Diamond dog's versatile claws, only more useless in combat and hunting, and more agile. It has been many years since I could walk. And I have not walked around on all fours for even longer. When I was a toddler and first developing my unique ability of mind reading- telepathy- I was in a day care of which there was an unusual amount of babies crawling around or crying. I was heavily influenced from their behaviors, and started gaining existential crises from their lack of parental cuddles. So needless to say I was crawling around doing my best impersonation of everyone near me at the same time, and collapsed on the ground drowning in my own spittle.'
'Oh my.'
'It was later on in the day that- Oh would you look at this marvelous tree! Why it reminds me of the time whe-' You collapse on the ground passing out.
Somewhere in a metaphysical plane of the psyche:
'Get out of my head you bald psycho!'
A floating Charles Xavier in an M. Bison outfit floats menacingly overhead. 'With my psycho-power I will never die! I can possess those whose bodies I enter after my forms are destroyed! In this Xander zone I remain an unstoppable force who can control space-time itself, with a technique known as Tsukuyomi! You will fall to my psycho power!'
'I don't know what any of that is but don't think you can take me without a fight!' Twilight growls.
'Your resistance is futile, but irritating, I mean look, I collapsed down now. And what better person to take over other than one whose destiny is to control all of the magic within the realms. You are possibly destined to be the most powerful being in existence, and I will have you under my control!'
Twilight makes a thoughtful or confused face 'But if I am destined to be so powerful wouldn't fighting me be worthless? It would mean I am destined to win!'
'Not likely, there is no way for your friends to interfere in here, and I will weaken your mind with Tsukuyomi!'
'There you go monologuing again, you know if you explain everything to me its going to be so much easier to defeat you.'
Xavier Bison Charles appears to be deep in thought, then sadness etches into his vile face. 'Truth is I have been wandering soul to soul for countless aeons friendless in my nature!' His eyes produce manly tears. 'You are the key to compassion! I can finally find true happiness instead of wandering planes of existence ignored for the rest of eternity!'
'Well, you know, you could just ask for a pony body to be made for yourself by myself or the other Princess' selves, you have no reason to fret!'
'Truely?'
'Truely.'
A massive crack appears in the Xander zone's fabric itself. Something Pink crashes through pulling a modified party cannon.
'Party cannon has been upgraded to level four: can now fire bass cannon ammo!'
'NOOO NOT THE WUBS!'
Pinkie Pie fires Pink and Blue wubs at M. Bison formerly known as Professor Charles Francis Xavier of Dr Xaviers school for the gifted of Westchester of New York of the United states of Earth, of the Xander zone, of Ms Princess Twilight Sparkle's mind, of Equestria gets blasted into oblivion, leaving behind the smell of two types of bubblegum.
Twilight breaks down into tears. 'Pinkie what have you done!? You just killed somepony!'
'Correction, I killed somebody, he wasn't even a pony anyways. But what I have done is get drunk with Vinyl because thats when I can invent s#!t and get really hardcore, and Vinyl was all like I KNOW you can upgrade it to level four with my broken amplifiers and s#!t.' Yes, it was bleeped.
'So I was like rock on dude! And she was all like don't mention it! But I noticed she was always hiding behind her sunglasses so I tried to look at her eyes through them then noticed she was blushing. So I thought maybe I could kiss her, you know, some fan-service wouldn't kill this series!'
'What are you even talking about!?'
Vinyl blushes in the corner visible from the split in the dimensions rubbing the back of her head. 'And so I went and kissed her full on the lips! She tasted like a dry blueberry alcoholic beverage with cream! It was amazing.'
Meanwhile in Equestria. Twilight clutches her head in agony.
'PINKIE WON'T SHUT UP!'
Rarity speaks somewhat offended and startled. 'Well we all know she can be difficult but that was just plain rude!'
Twilight stops writhing around, and catches her breath, looking slightly manic. 'Oh it stopped, Thank goodness it stopped! hehehehehe.' She says stroking her mane going cross eyed.
Pinkie Pie falls out of the sky with Vinyl dressed in what can only be described as a disco styled jump suit of blue and yellow, and wearing sunglasses, firing off Pinkie bass and bass cannon respectively into the sky capturing Ponyville's resident's attention and bringing everypony around.
'Saved the day again!' Crowd cheers and applauds and whistles. Vinyl and Pinkie land side by side and bump hooves several times and pose arms folded leaning on each other symmetrically facing away from each other.
Twilight is crazy furious. 'I HAVE BUCKING HAD E-BUCKING-NOUGH TODAY! I AM SICK OF ALL THIS BUCKING NOISE CELESTIA DAMN IT!' All the ponies of the audience gasp and cover little foal's ears.
It doesn't take long for her to be re-emitted into the hospital.
'Twilight be a dear and get some well needed rest.'
Twilight in a straight jacket responds agitatedly with a sigh. 'Not like I have much choice..' She also has something rubber over her horn, it being an insulator probably explains why it would stop magic from being performed.
Spike walks into the room with some balloons and a get well card. 'Heya Twilight- What's with the condom?' He bursts into a fit of laughter.
'Its a magic deterrent!'
Rarity speaks up. 'Well it is technically a condom dear, you of all people should know as you have a horn.'
'Yeah, but he doesn't need to know that. He is too young.'
'Well.. Thing about that is.. Um, me and Spike have been seeing each other'
'Oh Celestia no.. I mean, Good, for you guys..' She goes cross eyed very briefly.
Awkward silence then Dash speaks up. 'So, why do horns need a condom anyways?'
Rarity remains silent for a moment, then speaks up so Twilight doesn't have to. 'It is so upon climax we don't accidentally shoot magic over everything, it can start fires, it can make messes, really its a bit random with its effect, so its better to be safe than sorry.'
Dash tries to close her wings. More awkward silence ensues
'I think we ought to give Twi' a rest.'
'I agree Applejack, lets get going.' Rarity says. Fluttershy briefly stays behind.
'..Sorry.. Get well soon.. Okay?'
Twilight nods, the door closes, then she finally rests her eyes. She will probably be getting a visit from Celestia tomorrow for her misbehavior. What would she say?
She yawns, and closes her eyes, quickly falling asleep.