I was shocked to learn that Twilight was the one who invited Trixie, and had actually hired her to perform... Tricks? Yeah, I'm not sure. Anyways, she didn't seem to brag as much as she did in the show. Likely something to do with the fact that Twilight had seemed to attempt to become her friend recently. I can't help but wonder what she did while she was away...
Anyways... What had Pinkie meant... 'Don't give in' isn't very helpful, especially since I don't know what I'm supposed to not give in to. Ugh... Ah, well, there's also the way Twilight reacted when I told her that where I'm from she's just a use of entertainment for children... She seemed to have a panic attack too, but she managed to pull herself together much more quickly than I did.
But I can't go home... Twilight said so herself. She had attempted to fix it, but... Why? Why can't I go back? I... I... I'll just have to get over it, right? Things will work out... They have to... I-I'm sure it's just a coincidence that they have notes on architecture from my world... Right?
Calm down. You're starting to hyperventilate.
I'm calm. I'm perfectly calm! I... I just have to breathe. Breathe... Right, there I go... My breathing is back to normal... Ugh, my head hurts. The last thing these ponies need is to see me have another panic attack... Wait... Didn't Pinkie say I was screaming? What was I screaming abo-
"Ajil!" Twilight yells, getting my attention. For some reason, I get the feeling that my face either became an art gallery, or they have been trying to get my attention.
"Uh... What is it?" I ask.
"I asked if you wished to assist me," Trixie states, as if it was obvious.
"I... I don't know..." I begin to object...
Do you have anything else to do? You might as well.
For once, you have a good point.
"I guess," I say, standing up. Trixie guides me to the stage she had set up while I had been thinking to myself. I have to admit, it was fairly impressive for something that had just been set up.
"Whoa..." I say, clearly in awe. Trixie just smiles and continues up the stairway onto the stage. I see her tinker with a few things, and she messes with ropes and a curtain drops.
"All right, I'll need you to stand behind the curtain until I give the signal," Trixie said. I started to ask what she meant, and then Twilight and her friends walked onto the stage with her.
"What's going on?" I ask, but no pony seemed to notice. I watched them walk onto what appeared to be the stage center, and felt the ground begin to shake. I fell to my knees, and looked around trying to grasp what was going on.
Suddenly, the curtain opened, and I heard Trixie begin a speech, "Good evening, ponies! As you all know, we have a surprise to present you tonight!" my heart immediately sank.
"Later tonight, we will be revealing who our special guest is! For the time being, Twilight and her friends will tell you the story of how they converted Nightmare Moon!" Trixie continued. I'm can easily recall the first two episodes, but... I wonder if their version is any different.
"It all started when I was reading a book about the elements of harmony..." Twilight had proceeded to tell the story of first two episodes. She explained how their actions resembled the Elements of Harmony, etc. etc. I, of course, stopped listening to think to myself.
What if I still need to fend against something? What if I'm supposed to not 'give in' to something besides depression or paranoia? I... I think I'm going to need help... Damn it! I hate relying on others, and I just met them... I can't just ask them to help me, because then I'll seem... Helpless...
It does seem hopeless, doesn't it?
Shut up! Leave me alone... I... I don't need your help! You... You can't help me...
Well, that is obvious. What you need, my dear Ajil, is a good nights rest. Hopefully, you sleep easy tonight. About that... Where do you intend to sleep?
...Shit. Didn't think about that. I... I guess I'll have to ask if I can stay at the library for the night. Tomorrow, I'll... I'll try to figure something out. From the looks of things, I won't be getting anywhere tonight. Who knows what I'm supposed to do while I'm out there anyways?
Good que-
"You just have to sing, silly!" Pinkie Pie interrupted.
"Wah!" I yelp, jumping to my left, my back scraping on the wooden wall. "Jeez, I have got to pay more attention to my surroundings, huh?" I ask.
"Oh my goodness, are you all right? I didn't mean to scare you! Here, let me help you up," Pinkie says, holding out a hoof to aid me in standing back up. "Oh, and... Twilight told me, about how in our world we're there to help foals understand the friendship of magic!" Pinkie explained, not pausing to take a break...
Processing... Still processing... I can see Pinkie blinking. Ahhhh, there it is! Now I get it! "Yeah, and I have to admit, it's helped me a lot in the past," I say, hoping I don't sound selfish.
"Well, I'm glad then!" Pinkie says, beginning to bounce away...
Wait a second...
You're just now realizing that she knew what you were thinking?! You are a fool... If I could, I'd slap you.
Trust me, if it wouldn't concern the ponies on the stage, I would slap myself. In the face. Without holding back.
I watch the ponies explaining, and I have to admit, it may be a good thing that I'm here. It may even be a better life than back home, on Earth... Don't you guys agree?
I'm not sure...
Oh, it will definitely be a better life! You'll get to live with the Elements of Harmony, man! Most people can only dream of that possibility, like you used to!
From what we know, it should be a better life.
Well, hopefully we can make it then. We should be capable, right guys?
...
Guys? Hellooooooo? Ah, well I'll just focus a bit more on this. It looks like Twilight and the others are headed towards me... Wait, why?
"Uh... Hi," I say, it being obviously awkward. Great.
"So, are you going to sing or not?!" Pinkie Pie says, as energetic as ever. The other five are giving her confused looks...
"Pinkie, we just want him to explain that he wishes to live in peace, not sing his problems away. He can probably due that some other time." Twilight explains, clearing a few questions that I had had. I also assume them being here is a sign that I'm supposed to go out there now...
"So, I'm up, or...?" I ask. My question is answered when I see Twilight nod yes, and I stand up, the floorboards creaking below me as I begin to walk. The wood beneath my feet feels soft, for some reason... Almost as though it's carpeted. Anyways, it's keeping my feet warm, so I won't complain. Just keep walking...
You don't have to say you only wish for peace... You know that governments could kill for a new world to pillage, don't you?
Shut the fuck up... You're starting to irritate me. I wish I could deck you in your hideous face right now... No, I can't let you get to me. I have to explain that I wish solely for peace with these ponies. Only peace... No war, no violence... Just peace.
I step out onto the stage, lit by what at first appears to be giant electrical lamps... I look at them, but they don't blind me... Isn't that odd? Instead, the light appears to adjust as to not burn my eyes, and I notice there are no light bulbs of any kind... Might be a form of magical flow then... Ah, a microphone! I guess that's what I'll be speaking into, but... It's a bit low... I can sit in front of it, probably on my knees.
As my knees reach the floor, the crowd of ponies in front of me dies to a quiet I thought I'd never hear. If a pin dropped, you would easily have heard it.
I tap the mic once to make sure it's on, and then say, "I am Ajil, and I will likely be living in Pony Ville for a while. I just wanted all of you to know that I mean nobo- I mean nopony any harm. That is all," I say, and I begin walking away. As I reach the curtain, it feels as though something tugs at my mind... Is that possible?
You won't even mention us? Bastard.
Just keep walking, it'll be okay... Finally... Why won't you leave me alone?!
I can't leave you alone because you made me that way. I'm not supposed to forget about you whatsoever, I am to never exclude you from any activity I partake in. Though I'm beginning to think those rules are out dated.
You and me both! From now on, you are to leave me alone! Do you understand?!
Now that won't be doable. You see, I've decided to take over the second you fall. It can't be that hard. For once, I actually hope you lose your sanity, because that means I'll take control.
Fuck off... Huh? Wait... "Sorry, did you say something, Twilight?" I ask, because I think I saw her talking, but I didn't hear it...
"Yes, I asked if you have a place to stay..." Twilight says, the message running through my head... A place to stay? Fuck... I can't think of things like this when I've dealt with a panic attack! This is not going as planned...
"Er... No, I don't... Would it be okay if I stay with you for a while?" I ask. She looks like she's frowning... This is perfect, isn't it?
"You'd be able to stay about a week, but after that, I'd need you to leave," Twilight says, revealing good news to me... Though that means I'd need a job before the first week was over... Lovely for me, huh? Ugh, my complaining isn't going to get my ass anywhere, it'll only hinder me... I guess that I'm just the equivalent of an unexpected guest...
"A week? Well, that should be enough time for me to find a new job... I'll help around the library, too," I say, hoping I can at least seem as though I'm trying to be friendly.
"Okay then, we'll see if we can find you a place to work too," Twilight says, getting me to start to raise an eyebrow before I realize that she means all of the main six... I really hope that I can repay them, but I doubt it... Wishful thinking, right?
You are a moron! Wishful thinking helps nobody, and only hinders them! The reality is is that you will never go home, and the void in your pathetic heart will never be filled! Your pathetic and weak, and you're only going to bring the Elements down with you, dumb ass!
You're wrong about that, I just have to keep trying... Never give up, no matter what happens. When things look bleak, I will refuse to give in... Do you hear me, Enar? I'll never cave in, you hear that?!
Heh... You're already cracking, though, aren't you? You can't hide that from me...
"Okay, thanks Twilight. This means a lot too me," I say, which gets me a smile from Twilight as a response... Do they consider me a friend already? Or... Am I still an outsider? I doubt they'll ever completely accept me. I'm a human, and they're ponies... We aren't even the same species...
See? You yourself are deepening the divides within your mind, fracturing it into oblivion! Soon, you won't be able to maintain control!
You're... You may be right, but if I snap, I'll come back! I always have before, and I'll do so again! After all, each time I snap, it takes even longer before I snap again... Because I have built a resistance to it!
You may be right there, but what happens if I take over? Will you still be able to take back control?
Of course!
"Ajil, Equestria to Ajil!" I hear Pinkie Pie screaming in my ear... It hurts...
"Agh! Pinkie... How long was I spaced out for?" I ask, my voice radiating how serious I am... Wait, is that the moon in the sky?!
"Only about an hour... You need to get inside, silly, or you'll catch a cold!" She exclaims... I'm not sure I can deal with a hyperactive pony....
"Okay, okay... I'll head back to the library..." I say, and walk back to the door. I have to admit, this new crystalline tree house looks like it belongs in the Crystal Empire, not Ponyville.
I'm not welcome here. I get that. Nothing needs to be done to get that across... But I'm afraid... I can't get home... I... I'm going to break under this pressure. I wanted a 'restart' when I was still a teenager, not an adult! I hate this... Why? I no nobody will answer... But I can't help but ask, why? Why torment me this way, letting my life get better, just to stab my face with bad luck?
No use thinking about it. Might as well just start trying to live life as normally as I can... Though I know I'm a permanent outcast, being a different species.
I approach the door to the library, and notice the darkness around me. I look around, and see an oppressing darkness... No stars tonight, so that means...
BOOM!
FLASH
It's starting to rain out here. My hand just touched the knob, too! I twist my wrist to open the door, and it creaks open... To reveal a bizarre sight. The main six, as well as Spike and Discord, are all sitting at a table, all of them but Pinkie Pie, Discord, and Spike looking extremely concerned.
"Uhhh... Hi?" I say. Great first impression for the ponies and... dracquoness? Whatever Discord is... Wait, why is he raising an eyebrow at me? Hmmm... I'll have to watch my back, I think.
"So, Sugarcube, ya'll feelin' better?" Applejack asks, a small, concerned smile showing on her face... So not what I want to deal with right now...
You and I know you don't have an option... Unless you le-
"Shut up!" I yell... Well, shit. They all flinch in reaction, and Pinkie now looks extremely concerned... So does Discord. Why would he care about me?
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I di-" my voice cracks, and I continue, "I didn't mean to yell at you, it's just... A long story..." I can hear a lot more thunder now, and it's definitely down pouring outside, maybe even hailing.
"So not cool," was all Rainbow Dash said, and she opens the front door and flies off... Great. Just great. The only peo- ponies that can maintain order just got told to shut up when they asked how I was feeling. Great job, dumbass! You OBVIOUSLY want to die here!
Finally, something we can agree on! I bet I could he-
"Twilight, please tell me I have a room of my own to sleep in! I... I'm starting to crack under this stress!" I say, and I can tell I sound desperate now... Wait... Black rings, becoming thicker... I'm about to pass out!
"Some... Body.. Catch... Meh..." I say, the word 'Me' barely audible... I can see them just staring at me...
Thunk, thud, thud.
I'm on the floor now... It's all going black... I'm... Losing conscious... Will they leave me here? I know after that outburst... I shouldn't be welcome... They should probably kick me out before I cause more problems...
Well, look what you've done now. Now neither of us get to have control! No one does, jackass! All because of your foolish self focusing to much on your internal confli-
At that point, all senses were failing to work properly... Then...
"Ugh..." Why is everything glowing orange? It's too bright to be a light, but not bright enough for the sun... Do I hear crackling, too?
I open my eyes to a horrific sight. The library has been set ablaze... The books surrounding me unlike any other room... "No, I don't want to be burned alive! No, no, no, no, no!" I shout, hoping one of the ponies hear me... "What did I do to deserve this?!" Suddenly, the landscape changes in a brilliant white flash, and I'm outside watching an Earth pony cackle in the middle of a blazing Ponyville...
"Hahahahahahaha! You see? This is the power you underestimate!" Says the chocolate coated pony... His cutie mark is a chemistry bottle, and his mane is a coconut brown, with a black streak running through the middle. His mane is also very messy, practically just laid there as though it had been flattened with his hoof onto his neck... His eyes were also a deep crimson, and very focused on the flames before him... And... Is that blood pouring from his head?!
Sure enough, from the scalp blood begins to pool down his face...
"Don't you see?! This is true power! Not even Twilight Sparkle could stop me! Soon... Heh, heh... Soon, I will be capable of taking on the Sister Princesses!" He says... That's not good...
I walk past a burning pile at a distance, but when I look where the pony was, I see something else instead...
Standing in the middle of a blazing Ponyville is a near-exact copy of me, except for the eye's being a deep crimson, and the blood pooling from his scalp, covering his face in a red hue... I... I can't move... Help! I can't breathe! Help! Help me, damn it!
I wake with a start, and bolt upward to sit up... I'm in a bed... Why is my leg cold? Oh, an ice pack... So they decided to take me in for a night, even after that major outburst? Granted, that wasn't that major...
Ugh, what a dream... Never pass out again! I hate being forced to laugh like a maniac!
Wait, we were in the same dream? Where you burned Ponyville... That was you, laughing in the middle of a blazing Ponyvile?!
How did yo-
"Well, now that you're awake, we can discuss this dream business," I hear a voice from somewhere inside the room... I know it's not Discord, Spike or the main six...
"Uh... Wh-Who's there?" I ask... I'm still weak from the mental breakdown I had suffered... Not good... This is bad... I can hear the alarms in my mind... I have to prepare for somepony attacking me, anything! Anything!
"I," the voice appears once more, seeping out of the darkness, "am Princess Luna. I believe we have some things to discuss about your dreaming habits." Says Princess Luna... Wait, what!? Why would she want anything to do with me?! Did Princess Celestia send her here? Maybe Discord did... Crap, what if they want to imprison me?! I... I just announced that I have peaceful intentions... No, I snapped out at the main six... Ouch.
"I-I-I d-don't want to be imprisoned!" I shout. Great. You sir, suck at making good first impressions. Now they know your species can be paranoid, though, so there's that...