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// Everypony Needs A Break Now And Again 
// Story: When Better Days Are Past 
// by Ponibius 
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When Better Days Are Past


Chapter 4: Everypony Needs A Break Now And Again


“Can ya fix it?” I asked.

Tool Time grunted with annoyance as he looked over the pump. “You have to give me time to actually look at what we’re dealing with here before I can make a judgement call, Applejack.” He wiped a brown hoof across his sweaty brow. “These things take time.”

I went back to pacing around the shed while Tool Time examined the pump. “Sorry, Ah’m just nervous is all. Every day the irrigation system is down means less bits in my purse, and I can’t really afford that right now after everything that’s happened.”

“Give me a few minutes to look everything over, and then I’ll tell you what I can do for you.” Tool Time stroked his white goatee as he frowned. He put the pump down and started looking over the rest of the irrigation system.

Tool Time was one of Ponyville’s mechanics and repairponies. Not a big surprise, given his wrench on a pegboard cutie mark. I didn’t like the idea of paying somepony to fix something. I didn’t mind fixing something if I just had the know-how. Normally it was Big Mac who fixed the irrigation system, and he’d made some improvised repairs that got it working again somehow. Shame the irrigator looked about as busted up as I had ever seen it. 

At least Tool Time was an honest sort. Some of those mechanic types were none too trustworthy as far as I was concerned, but Tool Time had never done me or my family wrong in the past. That didn’t mean his services were cheap, though. You got what you paid for, after all.

After about half an hour of waiting, it felt like I was starting to dig a ditch into the floor of the shed from pacing. I just couldn’t help but be nervous with so much on the line.

With a grunt, Tool Time stood up from looking over the irrigation system. I immediately sprung over to him. “So how long do ya think it’s gonna take to get the parts to fix it?”

He pursed his lips for a long moment, seeming like he was considering really hard what he wanted to say. “I got some bad news, Applejack. I don’t think I can fix it.”

It felt like I’d been slapped. “What do you mean? Ya have to fix it. If ya can’t, at least tell me somepony who can, or else mah farm is gonna be in a lot of trouble.” 

Sighing, Tool Time went about putting his tools back into his bag. “I know that, but you need to understand a few things. This irrigator is old. Nopony makes parts for it anymore, and at this point it would cost you less to buy a whole new irrigation system. At least, when you take into account the whole thing. Just glancing at it I can tell that Big Mac’s been jury rigging repairs for a while now, but it’s getting to a point where that just isn’t gonna cut it anymore. I’m kinda surprised you’ve gotten away with it this long. Even if I do this one repair, there are a bunch of other parts that are going to quit any time now, and you’ll be right back where you started. It just isn’t worth the money to keep working anymore.”

That was not what I wanted to hear. The old irrigation system had been around longer than I had, and it felt wrong to just give up on it. Especially when the only reason we couldn’t fix it was because some bigshot pony somewhere decided they weren’t gonna make more parts for it.

Still, I had to be practical and do what was best for the farm. “So do ya know what a new irrigation system costs these days?”

The amount he gave me felt like a gut shot.

“That much!” My heart clenched. “Ah don’t have that kinda money right now! Not with the fruit-bats tearing up my orchards and everything else. Hay, Big Mac isn’t around anymore to help. How am Ah supposed to turn up that many bits?”

Zipping up his bag, he faced me. “Wish I knew, really, but I don’t. Haven’t you been saving up for an emergency like this?”

I looked down and scuffed my hoof along the floor. “We tried, but somethin’ always came up. Stuff like this.”

He tipped up his hat to scratch at his scalp. “Sorry to hear that. What about getting a loan from the bank to cover the expense?”

“Ah can try...” I didn’t like the idea of visiting the local bank again. We already owed them more than I cared to think about. It was a struggle to make the minimums on our bills as it was. Adding more to our debt was not gonna be fun, and that was assuming they would loan me the money at all.

Tool Time seemed hesitant on what to do as he looked between me and the door. “You gonna be okay? If you need anything...”

“No! No.” I shook my head to clear it out. I wish it didn’t feel like I was swimming through molasses all the time. Wish I had more time to sleep. “We’ll be fine. Ah just need a bit of time to figure out what I need to do.”

“If you say so,” he said without conviction. “Was there anything else while I’m here?”

“No, what do Ah owe ya?” I asked.

“Nothing,” he was quick to say with a reassuring smile. “You’re a repeat customer. I’ll give you a bit of slack today to let you get back to your hooves.”

A flicker of annoyance ran through me. “Ah’m not a charity case here, Tool Time. My bits are as good as anypony else.”

“Didn’t say there was anything wrong with your bits,” Tool Time said firmly. “Just thought you could use the break. Everypony needs one of those sooner or later. I know I did when I started up my business.”

I didn’t like the idea of bringing Tool Time all the way out here for him to get nothing, but bits were mighty tight at the moment. “How ‘bout you take some apples before ya go? It’s the least I can do.”

Tool Time rubbed at his chin. “Some apples do sound good.”

“Great.” So that was one minor matter settled. Now if only figuring out how to save the farm was that easy. If I was going to do that, then I was going to need some money.





“I’m sorry, Miss Applejack, but I’m afraid we can’t approve giving your farm another loan,” the loan officer told me.

“B-but Ah need those bits!” I protested, and I resisted the urge to bolt out of my seat in the bank office cubicle. “If Ah don’t, then I won’t be able to get the irrigation system to save mah farm.”

The loan officer, Gold Standard, put the papers back into the financial portfolio I had given him. He wasn’t a very notable pony with his gray coat, his lighter gray mane, and darker gray suit. He was just about the least outstanding pony in appearance I had ever seen, yet he was deciding the fate of my farm. “Once again, I’m sorry, but I can’t in good conscience loan you the money you’ve requested. It just wouldn’t be a good investment on our end.” He squared his jaw and pushed the portfolio back across the table to me. “I’m afraid you just don’t have enough income to justify it. Especially in light of how much you already owe.”

I didn’t pick up the portfolio “It’s not like Ah’m gonna be able to pay ya back if mah farm goes under.” Stupid money-grubbing banks. Couldn’t they see how important this was? 

Check spread his forelegs in a gesture of surrender. “Be that as it may, it’s against the bank’s policies to grant you a loan under these circumstances.”

“Ain’t there anything Ah can do to change your mind?” I tried to think of anything I could say to turn this around, but my mind drew a blank. I just didn’t know much about banks and numbers and what made their minds tick. “Ah’m desperate here.”

He shook his head. “Unless you can show you’re going to generate additional income, my hooves are tied on the matter. There isn’t much that can be done in a situation such as this, otherwise I would suggest it. Now is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No.” I scooped up the portfolio in a huff. “Ah think Ah’m just gonna show myself out now.” Stomping my way out of there, I didn’t give him the chance to give me an answer. As soon as I had left the Ponyville Bank, I slumped against its wall. I couldn’t recall having ever felt more worn out than I did then, as though all energy had left me. I rubbed at my eyes, trying to think what to do next. It was so hard to think anymore.

Eventually I managed to get myself moving again in a daze until I bumped head first into somepony. I let out a grunt as I bounced off of the light-orange pony and my hat was knocked into the dirt. “Sorry! Sorry.” I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

“It’s okay, Applejack,” said Junebug, giving me an inviting smile. “You look like you have something on your mind.”

“Yeah, sorry again.” Picking my hat off the ground, I gave her an apologetic smile. “Just workin’ through some stuff, ya know?”

“No harm done.” She frowned as she looked me up and down. “You doing alright there?”

“Ah’ll figure it out,” I insisted. I wasn’t sure how yet, but I’d get there, somehow. Not wanting to get into the business of the irrigation system, I decided it would be best to talk about something else. “By the way, June, ya get those bats outta mah orchard yet?” I knew they hadn’t been expanding into the other fields, but I hadn’t had time to properly check if they’d been vamoosed yet. I wasn’t going to get any apples out of those trees until they were gone.

Junebug let out a long, frustrated sigh. “I've been trying, but they're stubborn, and I've been really busy lately. The caterpillars in the Everfree aren't getting enough food, and—”

I interrupted her; I wasn’t interested in caterpillars when fruit-bats were having their way with my fields, “Just get them bats outta mah orchard soon as ya can, alright? Ah can't afford the bits they're costin' me.”

“I'll try to squeeze it in,” she said with resignation. “I’ve just been really busy as of late.”

More than a little part of me wanted to get into an argument with her, to tell her to do her job before I was eaten out of house and home, but all my weariness creeped back into me and sapped my will. “Just ... just do what you can, alright? It’s important.”

“I’ll do what I can.” Junebug made her way around me. “See you later, Applejack.”

I waved her goodbye. “Yeah, later, Junebug.”

That out of the way, and not really sure what to do next to get the bits I needed, I made my way back to the farm. I could hardly think of a time I was more lost. My whole life, the answer to my problems had involved hard work, some elbow grease, and maybe a bit of good old ingenuity. Shame that didn’t seem to be the answer here—at least not in any way I saw.

I slunk my way into the house, feeling terrible about everything. I had nearly made it to the office to drop off the portfolio when I heard Granny call out, “Applejack, are you okay? Ya look a mite bit under the weather there.” She must have been working in the kitchen, because she had splotches of flour all over her.

“Just got some stuff on mah mind, is all,” I was quick to say. Too quick. I really didn’t want to get into this talk with Granny. She was already trying to get better from being sick, and I didn’t even want to think about what the stress of what I was dealing with would do to her.

Granny frowned and put aside a rag she had been wiping her hooves with. “You seemed to be in a mighty hurry to get to town after Tool Time was here, and now ya look like a pony who’s got their own personal storm cloud hangin’ over her head. AJ, is there something ya wanna talk about?”

“No! No.” I rubbed at my face, trying to get my brain to work instead of just slacking around. “Ah’ll take care of it, really. Just need a bit more time.”

“If ya say so.” She cupped my cheek with a hoof. “But ya know ya can talk to me if somethin’ is botherin’ you, right?”

I gripped her hoof and gave it a squeeze. “Yeah, Ah know that. This is just somethin’ Ah need to work out by mahself.”

“Okay then,” Granny said. She didn’t sound completely convinced, but she was at least backing off. Thank goodness. “So what’re ya doin’ next? You’ve been running this way and that all day, though Ah’m not sure what for.”

That was the question, wasn’t it? What was I going to do? The bank wasn’t gonna loan me the money I needed, and most of the ponies I knew were either not able or willing to just give me that kind of money. Nopony except maybe—

Her.

My throat tightened when I said, “Ah think Ah’m gonna head to Canterlot for a bit, Granny.”

Granny gave me a curious look. “Oh, why’s that?”

I didn’t want to tell Granny just how much trouble we were in. The added stress wouldn’t be good for her health. So I worked to see if I could tell her as much as I could without lying. “The irrigation pump broke earlier, and we don’t have the part to fix it here. Ah’m gonna have to head to Canterlot to get everything we need to get a workin’ pump again.”

Granny nodded. “You better do that then. We need that water pumpin’ out to the fields, and we’ll survive ya not bein’ around for a couple of days.”

“Right.” The world seemed to spin as I considered the possibility of seeing her again. “Granny, Ah think Ah might need to lie down in mah room for a few minutes.”

“Ya feelin’ alright?” Granny felt my forehead to check for a fever. “No fever. Hm, y’all have been tryin’ to get used to a new schedule since yer brother left. So maybe a brief nap is exactly what ya need to perk up. Yer the one doin’ most of the work ‘round here nowadays, so you need to watch your health.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I said weakly. “Thanks, Granny.”

I started toward the stairs when Granny spoke. “Applejack, Ah just wanted to say that Ah know how much ya do ‘round here. You work so hard every day to provide for yer family. Ah know it ain’t easy since you were given a pretty raw deal, but you do your best to make it work every day.” She gave me a proud smile only a grandma can give her grandkids. “Ah’m proud of ya. Ya know that?”

The guilt felt like a hundred pound bag of manure pressing down on me. Granny had entrusted me with the farm, and it seemed that no matter what I did, or how hard I worked, it just wasn’t working. We were going to lose the farm unless I could get the irrigation system replaced. 

My mouth felt dry as the deserts out by Appleoosa when I said, “Th-thanks, Granny. It means a lot to hear ya say that. But if ya don’t mind...”

“Go right on ahead.” She waved for me to go upstairs. “Ah’ll get started on somethin’ for ya to eat when ye’re ready to get up.”

We parted ways, and I headed up to my room. I closed the door and slumped down onto my bed. I just laid there and stared at the ceiling. I ached. I ached in my body and my soul, and there didn’t seem to be anything else but pain. After everything that had happened, I felt completely overwhelmed. It was like everything was falling apart around me, bit by bit.

I looked over to see the picture frame that was lying face down on the dresser.

Reluctantly, I did something that I hadn’t for years. I picked up the picture frame and looked at the photograph. It showed the day of our wedding. The two of us were standing there in our dresses, made by her, of course, and we were smiling at the camera. The two of us had been so happy that day. I could hardly think of a time I was happier. Why did it have to all go so wrong?

My eyes started stinging and I squeezed them shut. It was all I could do as I hugged the picture frame to my chest.





The next morning I took the train to Canterlot. I didn’t like having to spend the bits on the ride, but I needed to get to the city quickly. It wasn’t like all the apple trees were going to die if I didn’t get a new irrigation system right away, but it was going to put a strain on our crop every day the trees weren’t properly watered.

It didn’t help that I never really like coming to Canterlot. I was a farming filly, and the city just didn’t suit me. All the hoity toity types walking around, the way the city looked with all its white streets and towers, and just how different it was made me feel out of place. Not to mention what happened the last time I was here...

After spending a bit of time getting my bearings and asking for directions, I found the shop I was looking for. The Carousel Boutique was pretty much as I remembered it with its various shades of purple and blue decorating it. There were a pair of large windows displaying outfits for everypony to see. It both stood out and fit in with all the other stores that lined the street since every building was both colorful and showing their goods, but not in a way that clashed with each other. I guessed it was a Canterlot thing.

I stared at the door, too nervous to enter. What if she wasn’t willing to help? Would she throw me out onto my rear the moment she saw me? Would she hear me out only to let me down gently? I desperately hoped she would give me the money I needed. It had been years, but maybe, just maybe...

I took a long breath to try to keep my heart from thumping so loudly, and opened the door. A bell set over the door rang as I entered the clothing store. Little surprise, the boutique was filled to the brim with fancy dresses, suits, and other clothes. It was all a little too frou frou for my tastes, but I could see how the ponies of Canterlot might like them. She always had a way with making things that looked nice.

One of the walls was taken up by pictures of what looked like various well-to-dos in Canterlot who were wearing her clothes. From the looks of it, she had gone to a lot of fancy events, and she seemed to be having the time of her life hobnobbing with the elite of Equestria.

From the back, her voice rang out, “Just a moment...”

I froze in place, unable to say or do anything. The nervousness I had felt outside redoubled. It was as though my body and mind had been paralysed just by hearing her. I just stood there as the sounds of cloth and boxes being moved around echoed from the back.

“Terribly sorry, but I thought I didn't have any appointments scheduled for right now and I was rather ‘in the zone’, so to speak.” Rarity trotted out from behind the curtain leading further back, carrying a new dress out with her. “Now then, how can I—” She froze upon recognizing me.

A painful silence fell between us as we stared at one another. I could see the questions running through Rarity’s mind.

Eventually I summoned the courage to break the stifling silence. “Hey ... Rares... Been, um, been a while.” I put on a smile that I just couldn’t put my heart into. Darn it if this didn’t have to be the most awkward thing ever.

Rarity stood there for a long moment before she decided what she wanted to say. “Yes. Yes it has.” It came out stilted, not that I could blame her. She shifted on her hooves and licked her lips. Her mouth half-opened as if she were about to say something, but nothing came out.

I turned my eyes towards the floor, feeling guilty for having bothered her. It had been forever since we’d last spoken, and only now had I had dragged myself out to see her. Still, I tried to break the ice a little, if only so we both didn’t just stand there saying nothing. “So, things been alright for ya?”

She didn’t meet my eyes either as she turned to put the dress she’d been carrying on a nearby rack. “Yes. Quite good, actually.”

“That's ... good. Really, Ah'm happy to hear it.” I struggled with what to say next and just grabbed at the first thing that came to mind, though I felt like a fool stumbling around without any direction to where I was going with the conversation. “Ya work really hard, and Ah know how much all of this means to ya.”

“Yes, I'm rather proud.” Rarity went over to one of her dresses and toyed with it. “How are the others?”

I was thankful to finally get on a topic that I at least had some hoofing with. “Apple Bloom's doing good. Ah’m sure yer sister writes all the time about all the trouble the Cutie Mark Crusaders are always gettin’ into. Ya know how kids can get at that age.”

“Mmm, yes.” A slight smile crept onto her lips. “Though sometimes I do fret over some of the things I hear about. The incident with the hang-glider and the rockets for instance...”

I shivered when I remembered that little incident. “Yeah, we all gave them a talking to ‘bout that.”

“I imagine so. Mother and Father were quite unhappy. Though it was good to hear about Sweetie spending time with friends last time she visited.” Rarity shuffled awkwardly and turned her attention to look through a few outfits. It didn’t take a genius to tell she was trying not to look at me as she fidgeted with her wares.

My mouth felt dry, and I swallowed to try and get some saliva going so that it didn’t feel like a desert in there. Not seeing any alternatives other than more awkward silence, I kept right on going with the topic of my family. “Big Mac moved out west to Appleoosa last week. Says he’s goin' to try and buy a farm out that way someday.”

“Oh.” For a moment, I thought that was all she was going to say as she moved a few dresses on a rack around. Probably to some organization system I couldn’t make heads nor tails of. “Well, I wish him the best of luck,” she said finally.

“Right.” I rubbed at my face, feeling like a coward to be dancing around the real reason I had come here with chit-chat. “Granny's alright. Though she got a mite bit sick a little bit ago. We ended up havin’ to take her to the hospital, but she's gettin' better now. Just takes awhile for her to bounce back these days.”

Rarity pulled out an outfit to examine it. “She is getting to that age.” That was a fact I didn’t like to think about. Not after Big Mac moved away and everything else that had happened. “... And you?”

“Ah'm ... gettin' along. Kinda.” Unable to bring myself to look at her, I turned to look at one of the ponyquins. It was wearing a dark blue dress with plenty of frills, and purple gems lining the lace. The dress was different than the ones she had made in Ponyville, but even now I could see her touch in them.

“Kinda?” she asked while raising an eyebrow inquisitively.

My throat tightened, and I had to fight to keep from choking up. “The farm ain't doin' so well right now. It’s ... we’re really hurtin’.”

That caused Rarity to finally turn to me with a carefully neutral face. “I see. Are you going to have to sell, then?”

It hurt to know that she could guess how bad it was. Still, I needed to give my pitch to Rarity if there was going to be any hope for the farm. First, I needed to explain the situation so that she didn’t think I was being frivolous in asking her for bits. “Not if Ah can get the irrigation system replaced. Right now we don't have the money to get a new one after the old one finally broke. Ah went to the bank to see if Ah could get a loan, but they turned me down.”

Rarity’s features became all the harder as she saw where I was going with this. “I see.”

The accusation in her glare made me feel like a filly who had disappointed her parents, and my shoulders slumped in defeat. “Ah came by to see if Ah could get a loan from ya. If Ah don't...”

Her ear flicked, and her eyes narrowed at me. “Tell me you're joking.”

“Ah'm not, and what am Ah supposed to do?” I asked, desperation creeping into my words. “Roll over an' die? This is mah family's farm, Rares.”

Stomping her way over to me, Rarity jabbed me in the chest with the tip if her hoof. “You don't write, visit, or talk to me for more than two years. And now, when you finally decide to get in touch with me, it's just because you need another loan from the Bank of Rarity! Unbelievable!”

My mouth opened but no words came out. I saw that look of fury and pain in Rarity, and I blinked as tears started to well up. It was all I could do not to just give up right there and walk away in shame. Still, I fought on, thinking of the farm and my family who needed me to do this. “B-because it h-hurt too much.” The dam finally broke. “Ah'm sorry, Ah just couldn't bring mahself to ... do it. Any of it. The ... the d-divorce hurt too much to think about. That was the worst thing to ever happen to me, and Ah just couldn’t deal with it.”

The fierceness on her face softened as she watched me, and that made me feel even worse. She took a step and sighed. “Applejack...”

The world swam in my vision, and I fell to my rump as my back legs gave out. It was all just too much. “A-Ah just don't know what Ah'm supposed to do anymore. Ah grew up bein’ taught that Ah just needed to work hard to be successful, and it just ain't workin'. Everything's fallin' apart. Big Mac left. Fruit bats ravaged mah orchards. Ah even told mah own little sis that the farm just ain't big enough for all of us. Not with all the debt and problems we have. It feels like Ah'm just diggin' a hole Ah ain't never gonna get out of, and Ah don't see any alternatives. Ah’m just goin’ in circles.”

Rarity turned away, unable to face me. “Carrot Top made you a very generous offer for the farm, once. Is it still on the table? Or perhaps your family could help?”

I rubbed at my left foreleg. “Carrot Top would probably still buy the farm if I offered. Ah think, anyways. Family doesn't really have the money to pull us out of the hole, and Ah can't just go beggin' to them when they got the same problem Ah do. It just wouldn't feel right. Farmers don't exactly have a lot of spare bits just lyin' about. Most of their money is tied up in land, and I don’t want to drive them all into debt too by askin’ for bits.”

Grinding her teeth, Rarity asked, “But you’re fine with taking my hard earned bits?”

“Ah'm desperate,” I said. “Ah don't know who else to turn to.”

“I’m flattered,” she said dryly.

“Ah didn't mean it like that!” I struggled to try and put into words what I was feeling. “It's just ... Ah've already asked too much of ya. Ya don't deserve me botherin' ya with this. Not ... not anymore.”

“No. I don't.” Rarity sighed and rubbed at her face. “Applejack, do you have any idea, any idea at all, how hard it has been for me ... to move on?”

“Yeah.” I swallowed, my throat dry. “Since Ah haven't.”

Rarity gave a sympathetic flinch. “You haven’t?”

It cut deep as I told her the honest truth. “H-haven't th-thought of another pony like Ah thought of you since ... Ah signed the papers.”

“Oh, Applejack.” She instinctively took a half-step toward me to comfort me, but stopped short. What I would have given right then to let her embrace me and make everything feel better. It had been a long time since I’d had a hug like that.

I took my hat off held it to my chest, giving Rarity a hopeful look as I poured my heart out. “You were the best thing that ever happened in mah life, Rares.”

Rarity hesitated and bit down on her lower lip. “Darling, I...”

“Ah just wish Ah could make it right between us,” I said over her, the words pouring out of me. Words that I had been saying for I didn’t know how long. “Ah've been such a fool. It feels like mah whole life is just one big mess. Ah can’t help but feel like Ah’ve lost sight of what’s important. Ah’ve fought so hard for my farm, gave up so much for it, and now it’s all fallin’ apart around me.”

“Applejack, I...” Rarity sighed, and I could see her will slowly crumble before me. “... How much do you need?”

It was as though somepony had picked up a barn off my chest when I heard that. “Ah haven't had much time to look around, but from what Ah've heard...” I gave her the amount.

There was a long, pained silence between us. She chewed her lip again; she always did that when she was thinking hard about something. “And there's no other way to save the farm?”

“If there's a way, Ah can't think of it.” I returned my hat to my head and stared at the floor. “Believe me, Ah've been tryin' to come up with a way, but nothin' is comin' to me.”

“I...” She stared at me, taking in my defeated stance until her own head and shoulders slumped. “I'll go get my checkbook, then.”

I bit at my lips and blinked to try and keep tears from forming. I felt relieved that Rarity was going to give me the help I desperately needed, but it still made me feel rotten about having to stoop to this. She didn’t need me bothering her like this. “Thank you, Rares. Ah ... Ah don't know what to say.”

Rarity didn’t say or do anything to acknowledge me as she went into the back and came back a minute later with a checkbook. She laid it down on the cashier counter and started writing the check.

Her coldness hurt, but could I really blame her after everything that had happened? “Ah wish Ah could make this right with ya.”

“I know,” she said simply, silently stating what we both knew—that it wasn’t likely I ever would. She finished the check and levitated it over to me.

“Yer too good to me.” I grasped the check but Rarity held onto it with her magic, preventing me from taking it.

“Thanks for the check, Rares.” I gave her a peck on the cheek for helping cover the losses from that blight hitting the southern orchards.

She didn’t return the kiss, and based on the disapproving frown she was giving me, she wasn’t very happy with me. “Now, you understand this is the last time, right?”

“Ah know,” I said confidently. “This is just to get through this rough patch. Ah couldn’t plan for mah apple trees gettin’ sick and dyin’, now could Ah?”

“No, I suppose not,” she said, not sounding terribly convinced to my ears. “But I do have my own business to run, you know. And sinking money into your farm isn’t doing the Carousel any favors.”

“It’ll get better, you’ll see.” I put the check away in my hat considering I planned on going to the bank here soon anyway.

Rarity closed her checkbook. “I sure hope it does, because this can’t keep going on like this.”

“Yeah ... Ah know,” I said without any energy. Figures I wouldn’t even be able to feel good about saving the farm. Though that wasn’t much of a surprise given I had done it by begging Rarity for bits ... again.

There was another long painful silence as I put the check into my hat. “Was there anything else you wanted?” Rarity asked.

“Ah don’t suppose Ah could ask ya for a place to stay for the night?” I asked hopefully. I didn’t want to impose on Rarity anymore, but more than a little part of me hoped I could patch things up with Rarity at least a little bit. Maybe I could make her a nice meal like I used to? Gosh, it’d be good just to sit down and have a chat again without any of those things that got us arguing in the past getting in the way. “Ah haven’t made time to get a hotel yet, and it’s gonna be pretty late by the time Ah’m done findin’ a new irrigator.”

“I can’t.” Rarity scuffed a hoof along the carpet. “I ... have a date later tonight.”

I flinched, and my hopes started to sink. “A date?”

Rarity puckered out her lip in disapproval. “Yes, a date,” she said defensively. “We've been divorced for over two years. I'm allowed to see other ponies.” She turned to some of her dresses and looked them over. It wasn’t hard to guess that she was thinking about what she was going to wear to her date.

“Yeah, I guess you are allowed to do as ya like.” It was hard to think about us being separate for that long. Had it really been two years already? That both seemed like so little time and yet an eternity ago. “W-who is it?”

“You wouldn't know her,” she was quick to huff out. “She’s never been to Ponyville as far as I know.”

“No, Ah guess Ah wouldn't then.” The idea that Rarity was seeing somepony else ... I wasn’t sure what to think. I knew she was right about being allowed to move on, but that didn’t mean I liked the idea. Still, I wanted what was best for her. “Ah ... hope she treats ya right.” It felt like I had stabbed myself saying that.

Rarity glanced at me out of the corner of her eye with a look I couldn’t read. “She's been good to me.”

“That's ... good,” I said lamely.

Rarity nodded slowly. “Yes.” She glanced back and forth between me and the dresses, and conflict danced over her features. “Applejack, I...”

I felt a whisper of hope in my soul. Maybe, just maybe... “Yeah?” I let a smile creep onto my face.

There was a moment of hesitation before she said a quick, “Good luck with the farm.”

My ears flattened as my hopes were dashed—again. “Oh, thanks.”

“I should get back to my dresses.” She turned her back on me to rearrange a few more dress racks. “And your family needs you.”

“Ah guess so.” I reluctantly moved towards the door, but I stopped short of it to look back at Rarity. “Ah'm sorry for botherin' ya.”

“It was no trouble at all.” She stepped to the curtain to the back but paused before going through them. “Please, don't forget to write.”

I shakily nodded my head. “A-Ah’ll make sure to do that.”

Rarity gave me slight smile. “Wish Apple Bloom and Granny Smith well for me.”

“Ah will.” I stood at the doorway, unable to move forward. It had been two years since I had exited that door, and I had to wonder if I ever would again after today. It felt like something would end the second I did. “Ah can do that much, at least.”

She gave me a small nod and started moving through the curtains slowly, slow enough that I felt a reluctance to her steps. If there was ever going to be a moment for me to catch her...

“Ah love you!” I blurted out, taking a couple steps towards her.

She stopped cold in her tracks. “And I love you.” Once again, the flames of my hopes reignited, and my ears perked. Shame it was immediately extinguished by her sad, bitter chuckle. “But love was never the problem, was it?”

My eyes stung at that harsh truth, one I knew deep down to the bone. “No, it wasn’t. Is there ... any way Ah can make it better? Set everything right?”

Closing her eyes, Rarity shivered. “Applejack, please don’t.”

“Please don't what?” I demanded. “Try and fix somethin' in mah life?”

She spoke quietly, and I had to concentrate to understand her. “I have a date tonight. Please, just let it go. It’s over.” With that, she moved through the curtains and out of my sight, and out of my life.

I couldn’t stand to be in that place anymore as I exited the Boutique, my shoulders slumped in defeat. It was probably all for the best in the end anyways. She really was too good for me. That was the truth. We both knew it. It’s why she had moved on.





I returned to Ponyville the next day with the new irrigator. After cashing the check, I had visited one of the shops in Canterlot that had a bunch of farming equipment inside. Not something you’d exactly expect in a fancy-schmancy place like Canterlot, but everything a farmer needs to run their farm had to come from somewhere, and they made a lot of things in the city. Turns out I had been lucky for once. One of the irrigators had been on clearance, and once I was sure that everything was alright with it, I bought it on the spot. I had even saved enough money that I was able to buy some tools we needed to replace and some spare parts, just in case. I even made sure to get Apple Bloom some new saddlebags with a few bits I set aside just for that.

First thing I was going to do at the end of the day after the new irrigator had been installed was to write Rarity a letter thanking her for everything. It might have been over between us, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t show a bit of appreciation for her. She deserved at least that much. I just wish I could give her more of what she deserved.

Still, it was good to be back in Ponyville, and with what I needed to keep my farm running. Overall, things were looking up. Even if my trip to Canterlot had been heartbreaking. Though, as I thought about it, Rarity and I had needed to say a few things to one another. She had moved on, and I could understand that. Maybe some day I would be able to as well. Maybe.

There was some good news, even if things were over for good between me and Rarity. With a new irrigator, I wouldn’t be spending so much time repairing the old one, giving me more time to manage the farm. Also, while I didn’t like Big Mac being gone, Sweet Apple Acres had a number of acres more suited for one pony to work than two, so it would make managing the farm more efficient that way. Big Mac had even promised to send back some bits once he got himself established in Appleloosa. Maybe in time he’d be able to work up the bits to put the farm on steady ground. That would sure be nice. We might even be able to expand the farm after a few years if everything turned out alright.

So I was in a pretty chipper mood now that everything was starting to go my way again. All I needed to do was get the family cart so that I could carry the irrigator and everything else I had bought back to the farm, then I’d be good to go. I guessed it was true that all everypony needed was a break now and again.

As I stepped onto Sweet Apple Acres, I realized that day hadn’t come for me. I stared on in horror as I realized that all of the apple trees were bare. Not a single tree had an apple on it.

“No, no, nononono!” I frantically ran from tree to tree, hoping that it was just one tree, or a few, or just a couple acres, but in my panicked search I couldn't’ find a single apple anywhere on the farm. My mind raced as I tried to contemplate what I was looking at and how to deal with it.

“AJ! AJ!” somepony cried out. I looked and saw Apple Bloom racing towards me as fast as her little legs would carry her.

“Apple Bloom!? What happened? Why—” I was cut off when my little sister nearly barreled me over as she tackled me with a hug.

Her chest heaved, whether more from the run or from crying, I didn’t know. She spoke in a unthinking rush as she started coming apart at the seams right in front of me. “A-Ah’m sorry, AJ! Ah t-tried, I really did, but it wasn’t enough. Ah tried to everythin’ Ah could t-think of—”

I pulled her close and gave a comforting squeeze as I gently shushed her. “It’s okay, Apple Bloom. Just take a minute to catch your breath, and then explain what happened.” In truth, I could hardly wait to hear what had happened on our farm while I was gone, but my sister wasn’t going to help nopony as she was right then. Also, she’s my little sister, and she was in a bad spot. If I couldn’t be there for her when she was hurting, then what good was I?

That was apparently enough for the dam to finally break, and Apple Bloom sobbed into my chest. I held onto her and stroked her mane, being the big sister she needed. After a few minutes, her sobs slowed and her breathing gradually became normal. “You feeling better now?” I asked.

She gave me a weary nod, rubbing the tears away from one of her eyes. “K-kinda.” 

“Good. Now how about ya tell me what happened?” I asked gently.

While sniffling, Apple Bloom gradually summoned the courage to speak. “I-It happened the day you left. A big old c-caterpillar swarm came out of the Everfree Forest and started eatin’ everything! A-Ah did what Ah could, but Ah’m not as good as you and Big Mac at apple buckin’, and everypony else was busy savin’ their own crops. And Granny’s too old to do too much anymore, and Ah begged her to let me do everythin’ like ya told me so that she wouldn’t get sick and have to go to the hospital again.” Her sobs started returning as telling me what happened became too much for her. “Ah’m so sorry, AJ! A-Ah couldn’t do it all on mah own!”

“Hey, hey, it’s fine.” I gave her another comforting squeeze. “Ah know you did your best.” Apple Bloom’s story helped explain everything. Those darn caterpillars came out of the forest every so often to menace everypony’s farm. Junebug had even told me they were a problem. Had the caterpillars gotten out of hoof because I had told her to concentrate on the fruitbats? Did I cause this, or would it even have mattered? Of all the rotten times for me to be out of the town. If I had been here I probably could have done something to save the crop, but now...

“Everything’s gonna be okay now that you’re here, right, AJ?” She looked up at me and pleaded with her eyes.

“Y-yeah, it’ll be ... it’ll...” I trailed off as the truth hit me and it felt like I’d been bucked in the chest. That was it, we were done. The farm was sunk. After everything that had already happened, we couldn’t afford to lose a whole crop like this. I’d failed. I’d failed Sweet Apple Acres, I’d failed my family, and I’d failed myself. Even my marriage had been thrown on as kindling to my failure. All my hard work, all my sacrifices, four generations of effort had been run into the ground by me.

“AJ, are ya cryin’?” She reached out with a hoof to press to my cheek.

No, I couldn’t let her see me like this. “Go to the house, Apple Bloom,” I said, snapping my head away from her hoof as I fought back the stinging tears.

Apple Bloom jerked her hoof away like she had nearly been bitten by a dog. “AJ—”

“Ah said go to the house!” I snapped. Pulling myself away from her, I stood and turned my back to her. “Ah need some time. So please, just go. Ah’ll be in after a bit.”

She hesitated for a long moment, staring at me as though she wanted to say something before she made her way towards the house. I wished I could have said something to make it all better, I really wished I could, but I couldn’t. It would have been a gosh darned lie, and she would have known that soon enough.

All I could do was walk as the tears flowed. I didn’t have any direction in mind as I wandered the farm, tears making it hard to see exactly where I was going. I tripped on more than one tree root or pothole and fell to the dirt, only to pick myself up again to keep walking around aimlessly. I was lost on my own farm, a farm that wouldn’t be mine for much longer.

Sometime later, hours probably given how much the sun had moved, I arrived at Carrot Top’s farm. I hadn’t meant to go there, but there I was. Maybe some part of me that was still thinking knew what I needed to do.

Some of the laborers on the farm stared at me as I came stumbling onto Carrot Top’s property. I must have looked like a mess to them. Fair enough, given I was a mess in addition to a failure by that point.

“Applejack, is everything alright?” I heard Carrot Top ask.

I turned to face her. She must have snuck up on me. Not that hard given I had hardly been paying attention to anything or anypony. “N-no.” I hiccuped as a sob threatened to overwhelm me. “A-Ah’m g-gonna have to s-sell the farm. I-It’s t-too much. The fruit-bats, the debt, Big Mac leavin’, and now the caterpillars...” I nearly collapsed where I stood, but Carrot Top dashed forward to catch me and let me down gently. “Ah’m done. Ah’m just done.”

“Oh, Applejack.” Carrot Top pulled me into the type of hug a mother would give her child to make everything feel better. “It’ll be alright.”

No, it wouldn’t.


The End