//------------------------------// // Chapter 17: Boss Battles Suck // Story: Mobster Meets Equestria // by Caddy Finz //------------------------------// Chapter 17: Boss Battles Suck "Shit!" The gimpy-legged Joe Hoblinni yelled as he whipped out a glock nine. "These ponies is packin'!" Before I could even recover from the burning ashes being blown in my face, the entire building erupted with gunfire. I laid on my stomach behind the column with my hands over my head still trying to regain my sight for what seemed like ages. One wrong move could leave me exposed to a stray bullet and be the end of me and since I still couldn't see anything, I couldn't afford to risk it. All I could do was listen to what was going on until my eyesight returned if it would at all. I could hear the different sounds of any lethal hardware that could possibly be smuggled over seas. From the snaps and pops of small caliber pistols, the loud cracks of rifles to the thunder-like booms of shotguns. It was getting harder and harder to keep my self still as I had no idea who was winning this battle and honestly it scared me more than anything I have ever experienced before. Suddenly, I started hearing the ricochet of bullets bouncing off the granite floor very close to me. Just when I heard a loud pop and a blast of a purple-ish light right up in my face, I though it was all over. "Vinnie!" Sparks exclaimed apparently having teleported to my aid. "Are you alright?!" "I can't see a fuckin' thing!" I replied. "More importantly though, how is everypony holding up out there?" "We've got the advantage, Vinnie. They are on our home turf and we know where all the cover is." "Listen sparks, pal if I don't make it out of this I want you to promi-" "Don't say that! Here, hold still." I could see a dim purple light in front of my eyes and as my eyesight slowly returned I saw Twi's horn glowing in front of my face. "Damn, kid." I said in disbelief. "Is there anything that horn can't do?" "I'm sure there is." Sparks giggled. "but I have yet to find it." As the frequency of the gunfire started to die down but not stop completely, I poked my head out from behind the column again to assess the situation and determine what kind of action was best to take. I saw that the fat old schmuck I called my employer had gotten up and made it to some cover behind a column on the other side of the building. I also could see a few more guys had been hit and were laying on the ground haphazardly firing their weapons in the general direction that the ponies were taking cover. "Hey sparks, I thought I told you I didn't want anyone killed." I said to my comrade. "Why did you make the guns lethal?" "You told me you had second thoughts!" Sparks replied. "I saw how pissed you were when you saw how they beat up derpy so I thought you were being serious!" "Dammit! I was just heated at the time but at this point it can't be helped. Just don't shoot for their vitals, capiche?" As I reached for my revolver that sparks had duplicated for me, I began looking for any opportunities to help save the few townsponies who were still tied up and having trouble getting away. They were sitting ducks and I would never live with myself if any of them got hit. I thought it was a bit odd that there were about only half a dozen of them there when a moment ago at least a dozen of them were immobilized. I was very impressed by how fast spike untied those kno- What the? "Spike!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "What the fuck are you doing?! Get outta there!" "No way, man!" Spike yelled over to me as he finished untying a knot, freeing the green unicorn Lyra. "You helped me get with Rarity so It's the least I can d-" TWANG! While Spike and I were yelling back and forth, one of the scumbags had noticed him and fired a shot hitting him directly in the belly and ricocheting off him as if he were a rock. "Bahahaha! That tickles!" Spike laughed as he started running across the room to draw more attention to himself. "C'mon you morons! Try to gun me down!" The little bullet proof pipsqueak was proving to be a smart little bastard. He continued darting across the room and proceeded to have more bullets bounce off his scales with no affect on him. Now that the spotlight was off me, I could more easily take some shots. Like I mentioned to the girls before, I was done with killing and didn't want to ever again if I didn't absolutely have to. Joe Hoblinni was busy shooting at Spike to notice anything else so I carefully aimed for the back of the knee on his better leg. POW! I had hit my mark and following a blood-curdling scream, Joe dropped his gun and hit the ground and proceeded to writhe in pain. A few moments into his agony, he attempted to crawl over a few feet to retrieve his weapon only to stare down the barrel of Jackie's shotgun where he then fainted and lay there to soak in a yellow puddle he had produced on the floor. Doc Fluttershy was proving to be a lot tougher than I thought as she had just begun to let it rip spraying the room with her automatic Tommy gun, laughing maniacally as she sent the wounded men running towards the door. "I'm gettin' the fuck outta here!" Luigi yelled as his fat ass bounced out the door. "You're on your own, Zeppargonni!" We had these guys by the ass! We had wounded them and drew the fight out long enough for them to run out of ammo and sent them running! Still we couldn't afford to let the get away and give them a chance to reassemble so they could attack again. We needed to catch them and have them locked up for their crimes and keep them from ever hurting anypony as long as they lived. FWOOMP! Gem's molotovs had come in handy as she hurled them into our enemy's path stopping them in their tracks. They then turned around to run the other way, they were met with another wall of fire blocking them from going anywhere until they were completely surrounded by flames on all sides. The bottles had been filled with cologne so they burned up very quickly. I would assume that the goons thought that once the fire subsided they could try running again and make their escape. Nope. Denied. It turned out that Sparks had called in the Royal Guard from their capital city that sits on the side of a mountain in the distance. Instead of freedom, Tony's goons were met by another wall in their way. Completely surrounding them were at least two dozen big strong looking stallions clad in armor and pointing spears at the gang. Moments later, a white unicorn guy with a brilliant blue mane had pushed his way through the group of guards and he did not appear to be in a good mood. "As captain of the Royal Guard..." The white unicorn began. "I am placing all of you under arrest!" Sparks had told me before that her brother was the Guard Captain so It must have been him. As they proceeded to take the gang into custody, I decided to throw in my last two bits. "Don't drop the soap, guys!" I yelled over at them. "You're gonna be locked up with a bunch of ponies who haven't gotten ass in a long time!" It was over. With the help of my friends, we had taken the gang down and we could finally chill out and bask in the silence of victory. I then proceeded to survey the damage and took roll call of all of the gangsters being loaded up into a pony-drawn paddy wagon. All of the guys including the fatass Luigi had been captured and Joe was still passed out on the floor. That only lea- POW! We were indeed missing somebody as I had just figured out the hard way. I felt a sharp pain in my middle back hit me like a ton of bricks. If that's not the worst part, I looked down to see a lot of blood dripping out of my stomach area. I had been hit in a very vital area and the slug went right through the other side of me. I was no stranger to being shot but the worst I had before was just getting grazed in the arm. This topped everything tenfold. I could no longer keep my footing if my life depended on it. Ironically it did though. I fell to my knees and twisted around and landed on my back. The pool of blood on the floor underneath me was growing in size at a very fast pace. Standing over me was my former boss with his chrome plated revolver pointed down at my face. End Chapter 17