//------------------------------//
// Discordville 
// Story: Text Tuesday 
// by Sausagefanclub 
//------------------------------//

All was well in Discordville. The hands were blooming, the mailboxes were singing and tons of rocks were raining from the sky, as usual.

Discord got out of bed and flexed his amazing muscles. “What a beautiful day!” He looked outside and waved at his neighbor, Mister Rogers. Mister Rogers waved back, then took out an Emmy Award and propped the window open to let in the fresh air.

Discord went into the kitchen and pulled some french toast out of the freezer. He put it in the oven and set it to bake at 3000 degrees for 5 seconds. 2 seconds later he reached in while the oven was still on and pulled out a nice steaming bowl of delicious paper. "Ah, perfect!" He took the bowl of paper over to the couch and turned on the television to see what was on.

An image of Discord appeared on the screen. Unamused, Discord changed the channel.

An image of Discord appeared on the screen. Discord's eyes gleamed with delight. "Ooh! This is my favorite show!"

Discord called toward the basement. "Albert Wesker, get over here quickly! It's that show we like!"

Albert Wesker quickly put his zombie viruses back in the toy bin and ran out to sit on the couch with Discord. "This is excellent. I've been waiting for Season 6 of this show to come out for two years. What did I miss?"

"You missed the part where Discord appeared. Fortunately for you, you still have the part where Discord appears to look forward to!" Discord answered as he stared at the television screen intensely.

"Oh good, Discord is my favorite character. After all, he's the one with all the amazing chaos powers and such." Albert turned to Discord. "Who's your favorite character?"

Discord put a talon up to his chin and thought for a while. "Hm... to be honest, I can't decide who my favorite character is. But I have to say, my least favorite character is Discord. He's always getting on my nerves."

Albert Wesker nodded. "Yeah, same here. I don't think anyone likes Discord. That's why Discord is the main character instead of Discord."

The television exploded.

Discord sighed. "Alright Wesker, just give it to me straight. How many days does my television have left to live?"

Albert Wesker held a thermometer to the television's heart for a few minutes as Discord looked on with deep concern, biting his fingernails.

Suddenly, the television opened its eyes and coughed. "Oh jeez that was a close one, guys... what happened to me?"

Discord sighed and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Don't worry buddy, it's okay... you're alive, and that's what matters."

Discord, Albert Wesker and the McDonalds employees then proceeded to embrace the television set, who began to feel a little uncomfortable.

"Uh... guys? You've been hugging me for, like, an hour now... I'm just a television set."

"Just a little longer..." Discord whispered.

The hugging continued for another hour until finally it was interrupted by a knock on the door.

Discord sighed and went to open the door. "What's up?"

Granny Smith whacked him in the head with her cane. "The bottle invasion shall continue!!!"

Discord pulled up his sleeve to reveal an anchor tattoo. "Not if I can help it!" He tackled Granny Smith and started punching her viciously.

Granny Smith took the opportunity to use her secret weapon. "Help! Help! Discord is hurting a helpless old pony!"

Several ponies instantly surrounded Discord and started chanting. "GO! GO! GO! GO!"

Granny Smith scowled. "Not the reaction I had been hoping for."

Discord jumped high into the air and did a 360 Backflip Rollspin Split-Kick Karate Chop, slamming into Granny Smith's face.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Granny Smith cried as she exploded into millions of pieces.

The audience cheered as Discord showed off his rippling muscles. "Mares, mares, please contain yourselves."

But it was too late. All the mares had already buried Discord, begging him to marry them.

Meanwhile, the spirit of Granny Smith rose up and began to chant The Ancient Rhyme of the Grannies.

"Come to me my empty bottles,
it is time to take over the author's novel!
This will be the end of their reign!
Now, I will make my bottles... uh... rain!"

The rocks falling from the sky all turned into empty bottles. The broken glass shards rained down and pretty much killed everything.

But not all was lost! Discord had been shielded by the mares! He rose up, more powerful than ever because he was also a Super Saiyan 5.

Albert Wesker ran outside. "What's happening?"

Discord pointed at Granny Smith. "She is ruining the chaos of Discordville by killing everything! If there are no more victims, then I'm out of a job!"

Albert Wesker nodded. "You know what we have to do."

Discord closed his eyes and smiled. "It's funny... I had a feeling this would be how it ends."

Rainbow Dash crawled out of a manhole. "It's time already?"

Derpy Hooves fell from the sky. "Looks like it." She sighed. "It's time to do what must be done."

Discord flexed his muscles one last time and charged up his power. "I'll miss you guys."

Using the last of Discord's power, Discord, Albert Wesker, Rainbow Dash, Derpy Hooves and the McDonalds employees fused their bodies into one. They had transformed into McDerpcord Dasker.

A tear fell from McDerpcord Dasker's eye as it absorbed the negative power of the bottles to charge up an explosion.

Granny Smith's ghost took a break from her killing to check on them. "Wait, what are you doing?! NO!!!" She charged toward them, but it was too late. McDerpcord Dasker exploded, destroying everything in the universe ever, Rainbow Dash was never seen again, the end.

...You know, they probably would have been better off letting Granny Smith do what she wanted, huh?