Dear Journal 15/5/236
Today was the day I became king. The path to ascension was hard, involving many trials that I cannot hope to place all here. The coronation ceremony was glorious. Both Princess Luna and my mentor, Princess Celestia, attended along with my closest friends, and my wife Harmonious Melody. Deep inside, I feel strange today. Today I became king… but I don’t feel deserving of the title, even after all the trials I went through to ascend. I feel woefully inadequate in comparison to the Rulers of Equestria. I don’t have a thousand years of wisdom to draw upon. I am only mortal, what hope do I have to rule an Empire and stretches all the vast expanses of the north? Is a king supposed to feel this way? Is he supposed to doubt himself? If so, how does he keep the facade of calm for his people? After all my time preparing, I feel as unprepared for this job as a foal would attending a university exam.
-Sombra
Dear Journal 19/4/237
Today was the greatest day of my life. I always thought that my wedding, or my ascension, would be titled as such. However, that was before my son was born. A year of ruling a kingdom puts lot of things into perspective. I have begun to care about the council debates which seemed so useless at the beginning. I still have questions that seem to have no answer, but I have no one to turn to to help me understand what being a ruler means. I am afraid I will let my people down, that I won’t be good enough, that I’ll fail them in the end.
-Sombra
Dear Journal 7/10/240
Today I learned something. I learned something that should not exist. I learned I am immortal. Princess Celestia visited me today, she told me that while I was a pony, I was also the descendant of a dragon, and the dragon magic that coursed through my veins was strong enough to make me immortal. Somehow, it skipped over many of my ancestors.
Why me? What did I do to deserve the worst punishment of all? Immortality. I just wanted to live my life, to serve my kingdom and pass away along with my wife just as everyone else does . . . but no. ONE BUCKING DRAGON IN MY FAMILY, AND I AM CURSED TO A MISERABLE EXISTENCE UNTIL TIME ITSELF ENDS! Doubts of my rule have calmed somewhat, in light of having an eternity to fix any mistakes. I cannot tell my wife, nopony can ever know of my curse.
-Sombra
Dear Journal 7/12/280
It’s been awhile. Today… Today she died in my arms. I--I have no words to describe the pain. My mentor says the pain will subside, but I don’t believe it. Dark thoughts hover over my mind lately. I find myself more willing to be harsh in my punishments, and lax in my forgiveness. I don’t know what’s happening to me. But I know one thing, I must have her back. I prepared myself for 40 years trying to accept the fact she would die, but it wasn’t enough. I cannot stand by while she is dead. I am the most powerful unicorn the crystal kingdom has ever known, and I will fix this.
-Sombra
Dear Journal 18/6/321
I have exhausted all the books on magic in the crystal kingdom, except one. This book was kept in the throne room at all times. It is called Magica Nigra. I don’t know what the title means, but I plan on putting all its spells to the test. The pain has not left me . . . in fact, it grows stronger by the day.
-Sombra
Dear Journal 19/6/321
The book I discovered is most helpful. It says things about crystal magic that can be used to resurrect the dead. I feel drawn towards the power in the book. I no longer seem to care about the kingdom . . . I’m sure somepony has noticed by now. The book mentions something about Equivalent cost or some such nonsense. But I care not: I am the King, and I will have the love of my life back if its the last thing I do!
-Sombra
Dear Journal ??/5/340 PD,
I wasn’t strong enough. I cast the spell, one of my servants was the cost, but the spell failed. I wasn’t able to put enough power into the spell but I have a plan. The book says that an unicorn can infuse crystals into their heart to gain power. Nothing else matters anymore, only getting her back. I grow angry often now, shouting and disciplining my subjects often.
-King Sombra
Dear Journal ??/8/345 PD,
It failed again. I used more power than anypony could muster, even Celestia, and several sacrifices to try and ensure the spell achieved its purpose. But again, I am met with failure. No matter, I have plenty of slaves to use for sacrifices. I will merely try again. I have removed the crystal heart from the square, for the magic is having a negative effect on both myself and the magic I am attempting to perform. Until I am finished, it will be in the vault. I notice now my slaves are bowing in the streets properly when I walk past.
-King Sombra
Dear Journal ??/??/352 PD
I no longer remember why I read and follow this black book. I know I enjoy harming my slaves. I enjoy gaining increasing amounts of power from the book’s rituals and sacrifices. I feel my intelligence slipping at times, whispers in the dark taking ahold of me instead. It feels glorious, it feels powerful, I love it. But somewhere left I feel sad, as though I didn’t accomplish a task of some sort. No matter. Being a King, a Tyrant, is fun, and no damned Alicorn will take that away from me now.
-King Sombra
Dear Journal ??/??/361 PD
This is probably my last entry. Celestia and Luna will be here soon to kill me, I think. I examined the crystal heart today. It gave me a gift: memory. Glorious painful memory that I have been missing for so long now. I see all the wrongs I have done in the name of love . . . I hope Celestia kills me for what I have done.
I don’t want to live any longer. My worst fear of being a bad ruler came true, and what’s worse? I did it in the name of love, a foundation of this kingdom. To anyone who reads this: I cannot be forgiven for what I have done in my foolishness, but even still, I must say it . . .
I’m Sorry.
I’m sorry for all the pain I have inflicted. I am now placing a spell of this journal so only my children can read this. Read this, my children, and don’t make the same mistakes I did. Love your family, but don’t let it be your fall. Remember, no matter how much you loved them, and how much they loved you back, nothing is worth harming other ponies for love.
As my last act of King, I sentence myself to death for my crimes, to be carried out by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.
Goodbye.
-Sombra
Princess Mi Amore Cadenza closed the small tattered black book, tears in her eyes. Shining Armor, the love of her life, lay next to her sound asleep, unaware of her distress. He did it all for love. Misguided maybe, but why did it have to end like this? He could have been like Princess Celestia, a wonderful immortal leader. I guess love hurts sometimes. Her last thoughts were about Shining Armor as she drifted off into a fitful, dreamless sleep.