It was an average day in Ponyville, Celestia's sun was shining, various ponies were bargaining prices at the midday bazaar, and a certain sect of blank flanks were out and about causing mischief and mayhem. It was on this day two weeks, five days, and 16 hours after the Canterlot wedding that a gray stallion carrying a briefcase stalked into the town. Moments later a pink pony happily bounced past him in the opposite direction. Several seconds after that, the bright pink pony froze mid-bounce, did a double take, and promptly gasped. Then she began to speak at hyper-sonic speeds, "I'veneverseenyoubeforeandifI'veneverseenyoubeforethenthatmeansyou'renewbecauseIknoweveryponyinPonyvilleandifyou'reknewthenthatmeansyou'venevermetanyponyandifyou'venevermetanyponythenthatmeansyoumustnothaveanyfriendsandifyoudon'thaveanyfriendsthenyoumustbelonelyandthatmakesmesosadsoIjusthadanideatohaveagreatbigginormoussuperduperspectacularwelcomingpartyandinviteeveryponyinPonyvillesothatmeansI'llneedyouradresssoIcanknowwheretoplanforthepartytobesowecanallshouttogether," She took a deep breath for the next three words, "WELCOME TO PONYVIIIIIIIIIIIIILLE!"
"…Let me get this straight." Began the grey earth pony slowly, lifting up his head to peer at the slightly vibrating pink pony. Suddenly his hoof shot out to point at her, "You," He shifted his hoof to point at his questioning face, "Want to know where I'm going to be living," Turning his hoof back towards the pony with sky-blue eyes he continued, "So that you can throw a party," He ended his bout of clarification with his hoof pointed at his own face, "To welcome me to Ponyville."
"Exactly! You got it perfect-werfect! You must be a super-duper smarty pony!" The exuberant pony nodded her head sagely, "Normally I'm forced to repeat myself because they didn't understand the first time."
The grey stallion chucked with a slight smile, "The ability to listen has nothing to do with being smart Miss…" He trailed off expecting for the energetic mare to divulge her name unto him.
"You silly. I'm not Miss, I'm Pinkie Pie but all my friends just call me Pinkie, what's your name?" She tilted her head and curiously gazed into the stallion's shining silver eyes.
"I am called Ironwood, as for where I am staying…" He chuckled nervously and scratched at the back of his messy head of jet-black hair, "Could you point me in the direction of the nearest inn?"
"There's only one inn in Ponyville, silly-wily, and to get to Berry Punch's Bed 'n Bar you must,"The exuberant pony struck an epic pose, "Cross the way of the warrior without being seen," Pinkie ran in place on the tip of her hooves, "Amble through the alicorn alleyways of unimaginable terror," She switched to teetering on her hind legs with her fore legs raised above her considerably poofy mane, "Survive the sea of rooftops and chimneys," At this point Pinkie was using her ninja skills in tandem with her inexplicable ability to bend and stretch reality to reappear in a different spot for each challenge that she stated. This went on for about a minute before the pink pony ended with, "…Or you could just go down the path until you arrive at the place that you're going to but I recommend the first way, it'll be a lot more fun!" With that Pinkie pie, element of laughter, resident super duper party pony of Ponyville, walked in a seemingly random direction and disappeared into thin air.
The gray stallion blinked his silver eyes in wonder at the spot that the energetic pony had just disappeared from. He shrugged, resolving to ponder the question of why she was able to do what she did at a later date, and turned towards the direction he planned to go in. "I think I'll take the direct path." With that Ironwood hoisted his briefcase and started down the path.
As Ironwood traveled down the road he noticed a couple of mares arguing in the front yard of one of the houses that flanked the cobblestone street. One was a soft shade of washed sea green, a unicorn, while the other an earth pony sporting a two-tone blue and pink mane.
The faded-yellow earth pony was yelling heatedly at the golden eyed unicorn about some obsession that was driving her insane while said unicorn defended herself by shouting.
This is what fell upon the ears of the passing stallion, "Come on Lyra, you've gotta' forget about those imaginary creatures that you're always obsessing over. I swear with Celestia as my witness that your 'research' is driving me crazy!"
"First of all, Bonbon, humans are not imaginary! I have an extremely reliable source that tells me of ancient ruins that contain hard evidence that humans did used to exist in Equestria, billions of years ago! And second of all-"
"You're crazy to believe that something your uncle heard from his drinking buddy who heard it from his colleague who heard it from his town's resident old coot who heard it from some jerk off named Luffy rings with any more truth than a chronic liar!"
At that point the grey earth pony tuned out the two mares and their shouting match as he continued down the way. He did note them down next to Pinkie on his mental list of crazy ponies though.
Soon enough Ironwood's shining eyes caught sight of a sign portraying the words that he was searching for, Berry Punch's Bed 'n Bar. The two story building looked nice enough, It was built of bricks unlike nearly every house in the town which meant that it had a much better chance at surviving if the town caught fire, and it only had windows on the second story leading the observant stallion to believe that all of the residential rooms were on that floor. The lot itself appeared to take up the same amount of space as two separate houses, and was relatively clean as far as bars went.
As Ironwood stood in front of the double doors that led into the building he desired to enter, a thought struck him. "It's quiet… Too quiet." The grey earth pony mentally and physically smacked himself, "Ugh, this isn't the time for one liners." With that he slowly raised his hoof to the double doors and with a single flick of his fetlock he flung them open.
"SURPRISE!!!"
"Aaah!" A startled Ironwood flung himself backwards with a backflip into some nearby shrubbery. From said shrubbery, the stallion could hear a raspy voice laughing. It was distinctly female.
"Ha! Did you see the look on his face? It was like his eyes were gonna pop out!" It was the same mare who had been laughing.
A much deeper voice sounded, "Eeyup."
"Huh. Ah didn't 'xpect he'd react quite like that."
"Yeah, it was totally awesome how he just disappeared into that bush!"
"Hey! Maybe we could get our cutiemarks for being awesome!" It was a younger voice, though still raspy like the first.
"What would a cutiemark for awesomeness even look like?" The new speaker sounded like an equally young filly.
"Well…" The young raspy voice trailed off for a moment, "Well of course, it would look like Rainbow Dash's cutiemark! She's the awesomest pony in Ponyville! No, in all of Equestria!"
At this point the stallion had crept out of the bush and past the entrance unnoticed by any of the many ponies inside. They were all busy enjoying the spectacle that the two fillies were putting on.
"Hey yeah I'm the awesomest pony in Equestria!" The black-maned stallion saw a blue pegasus do a loop-de-loop threw the air. Now he was in the back of the crowd standing next to a brown earth pony with the image of an hourglass on his hindquarters.
Ironwood whispered to the spiky maned pony next to him, "Hey buddy, do you know who this party is for?"
He answered without looking at the stallion that was talking to him, "The poor chap we just scared into the bushes, apparently his name is something like steel timber, or tungsten oak, or gold tree, or-"
"Ironwood."
"Yeah that sounds about right, anyway I guess he just arrived in Ponyville today so just like always Pinkie organized a surprise party for 'im." His voice held a slight accent, "Hey, come to think of it you. Should. Know. That…" His speech slowed to a halt as he finally turned to look at the one he'd been conversing with.
"Actually, no. Ya see I don't know if you know but I'm new here so I don't know all the things that you would know about the town, ya know?" Ironwood smirked.
"How did you, sneak up on me?" The grey stallion deepened his smirk at the shocked look that was shone to him.
"That's my little secret."
Then, "OH OH OH! WHAT'S YOUR SECRET? I WANNA KNOW YOUR SECRET! DID YOU KNOW I'M GREAT AT KEEPING SECRETS!!!" Pinkie happened.
At the sound of Pinkie's voice all eyes in the room turned to see the pink party pony balancing on one hoof on the back of the guest of honor. An awkward silence then set in as every pony took in the sight of him. Rainbow Dash was the one to brake the silence.
"How'd you sneak in here without any pony noticing?! Are you a spy?!" Her yell sounded angry so when Equestria's fastest flier zoomed strait at him he rolled to the side in an attempt to dodge, and in the process threw Pinkie off of his back. Seeing that her target had moved Rainbow Dash quickly changed trajectory. She landed with her face a few inches from his and whispered so that only he could hear. "By the way could you teach me how to do that jumpy-flipy thing you did before?"
He chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his messy jet-black mane, "Sure, I guess we could schedule something."
The flighty pegasus took to the air and hollered in joy, "AWESOME! With skills like those I'll be 25% cooler! Then the wonderbolts'll be begin' me to join!" When she noticed all eyes in the room were now on her she lowered herself to the floor and chuckled sheepishly, "Heh, I mean. Cool, I'm up for whatever."
Every pony chuckled at the mare's display. From the back of the crowd there was a shout, "LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!" Unsurprisingly the culprit was Pinkie Pie. She one of her pink hooves shot straight through the crowd and wrapped itself around Ironwood's shoulders and pulled him over to where she was across the room. She took a deep breath, "I want you to meet…" Then she went on an introduction spree, "ApplejackFluttershyRainbowdashRarityTwilightsparkleVinylscratchBulkbicepsDerpyhoovesDoctorhoovesDinkyhoovesSpikeThunderlaneCloudkickerApplebloomSweetiebelleScootalooCherilyDiamondtiaraSilverspoonMrcakeMrscakepumpkincakepoundcakeCloudchaserFlitterCarmelColgateCarrottopRoseluckFeatherweightPipsqueakBigmacGrannysmithSnipsSnailsBerrypunchTwistNurseredheart…" Pinkie Pie continued to rush through the crowd naming off all of the ponies they ran into. It was done in less than half a minute.
With wide eyes the newest resident of Ponyville slowly turned to see the smoke trail that marked the path they had taken to meet the nigh-on two hundred ponies crammed into the space of one huge room. He gulped and smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his messy black mane. "Hi every pony, My name is Ironwood."
It's an interesting feeling to have nearly two-hundred different voices all saying the same thing to you, WELCOME TO PONYVILLE IRONWOOD!" with that they all turned to each other and chatted happily.
Figuring it better to secure a room actually socializing the raven-haired stallion searched for the mare named 'Berry Punch' because chances were that she owned Berry Punch's Bed 'n Bar. As he searched the crowd he mused to himself, "This Berry Punch must have quite the left hook."
"You bet you're flank I gotta' jaw shattering left hook! Come to think of it my right hook isn't bad either."
The stallion turned towards the voice and saw a light purple coat with a dark pink mane. The mare had a foreleg curled in such a way to show off her cut muscles. "It would seem that my search has ended, I presume that you are the hostess of this establishment?" Sometimes it's just a lot of fun to use big words.
"Yeah I own this joint, you're the new guy, right?"
"That I am, and being said newcomer I am without a space to stay. It is thus why I have come to you, to secure lodgings for the extent of my stay, or until I decide to make this place my permanent place of residence." He flashed the mare a small yet hopeful smile.
She began tapping her hoof on the floor "Hmm…" She squinted in thought, "Yeah, I think I've got an empty room you can use. And don't worry about paying me straight away, I use a monthly payment system."
"Thank's a million! I was worried I'd have to stay out in the cold until I built a shelter." The relief was visible on the stallion's face as he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
"No probs my friend, just make sure you pay on time." She tossed him a key, "Room 13, go up those stairs to get to the residential area. Oh, and before I forget, It's an even hundred bits a month."
Ironwood closed his eyes and nodded sagely, "I see… That's a lot of bits."