//------------------------------// // Excruciatus // Story: Nothing Loves Me // by Cheerful Earful //------------------------------// "No! Wait, come back!" Rainbow Dash cried to the retreating creatures as she realized the boulder had her feathers pinned. They flew off deeper into the canyon, scarcely noticing she was gone. She tried again to free herself, but the boulder was too heavy. She began to panic, tugging harder and harder, but to no avail. She headbutted the boulder in frustration, over and over again until she lost consciousness. When she awoke, it was evening. Her head throbbed, and her wing was cold and numb. She had no idea of how long she had been unconscious for, nor if anypony was looking for her. She looked up to the sky. It was dark, and filled with clouds. Dash thought for a moment until an Equestria-shattering thought hit her: there were no cloudy skies scheduled over Ponyville and the surrounding countryside for another 2 days. Had she really been out for that long? If she was, chances were that nopony was looking for her. But they probably were, right? Right? At first she felt sullen, yet vaguely hopeful that somepony would come to rescue her. The night passed. As the hours crawled by, panic once again began to build up in Dash's mind. What if nopony was looking for her at all? What if she was wrong? Did they even care? The following evening was one of the longest Dash had ever lived. Her stomach seemed to want to claw out from inside of her to strike out on its own for food, and she doubled over with cramps. Her wing felt cool to the touch. She began to cry quietly. Nopony could hear her. Who cared? She gave up all hope of rescue, but shouted out names nonetheless. "Twilight! Please! you're not an egghead! Please!" she rasped as loud as she could, tears running down her face. "Applejack? Please, Applejack, I need you! I love you. Celestia—why?!" "Princess Celestia, please! I was loyal to you, I worshipped you, I did all I—" Her voice ceased to function. Her harsh cries dried into silent sobs, and she soon ran out of even tears. She was dehydrated, and hallucinating slightly. The boulder appeared to her as a stallion. A heavyset, cyan stallion. "Dad?" she asked, her voice healed somewhat after a brief fit of sleep. "Dad, please, you're sitting on my wing." The boulder made no reply, even in her mind. "Dad, come on, stop messing around..." she trailed off weakly. The cyan hallucination turned away. "Dad, I'm sorry I am the way I am, just please... I'll find a stallion, I promise, I'll change, I'll do anything, just get off my wing," she pleaded, sobbing into the ground. She inhaled dusty silt on every breath, but she was too tired and defeated to care. She bashed her head against the boulder again, and there was blackness. It was daytime when she woke up. The sun stung her cracked lips, and a long shadow stretched near her face. She turn to look at what cast the shadow. A small, narrow stone lay not 4 feet from her body. She could reach the little piece of flint. An idea grew in her mind; one born of desperation and nihilism. She reached out and jimmied the flint until she could reach it with her mouth. She picked it up, and tested its sharpness with her dry, swollen tongue. A strong taste of metal stuck in her mouth, her blood. Keen as a razor. She looked at her wing for a long time. She decided it was her wing or her life, and leaned down near the boulder pinned it. She clenched her eyes, bit down hard on the flint, and drove her head forward, cutting her wing open with the stone. A hiss of escaping gas and the smell of putrefaction permeated the air, but Rainbow Dash didn't stop. She wrenched her head from side to side, sawing at the wing until she reached bone. The pain was immense, but determination kept her going. When she reached her bone, she stood up in an effort to snap it. Blood poured from her self-inflicted wound, and she held her breath to keep from fainting. To her horror, the wing broke inside her remaining wing; an area around which she did not cut. Gasping in pain, she dropped the flint. She tried to use her hooves to break the bone, end the carnage, end her suffering. She stomped on the bone, heard a dull, wet crack, and the world went black again. She awoke after a few moments. It was a simple yet excruciating matter to disconnect the ligaments; she bit down on them and gnawed until there was a complete severance between what remained of her wing on her body, and the third that lay permanently trapped under the boulder. She rose, staggered a few steps and collapsed. The blood loss, dehydration, and sun poisoning made her want to die. She didn't think she could go on. The edges of her vision began to go black, the rest blurred. A cloud of purple moved about in front of her. She wanted to close her eyes. Muffled noises assaulted her ears. She felt a gentle force lift her up. Rainbow Dash blinked hard, and the purple cloud materialized as Twilight Sparkle. Dash weakly heaved in sobs of fatigue, but the only sound that escaped her was a harsh whine. Twilight spoke into her radio. All Dash could make out was: "I have her. Celestia help us."