//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: After Alice: The Hatter In Equestria // by Barrel-of-fun //------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle stood at the edge of the Everfree forest, staring intently into the it’s dark foliage, whilst trying to block out the sound of her friend’s complaints and questions. She was impressed with herself that she had managed to get them all roused up so early in the morning. Rainbow Dash in particular had been adamant about sleeping in, however the idea of meeting an entirely alien creature had enticed her out of her cloud home. “I wonder if it’s tough? Or fast? You said they had just got over some trouble in their world right Twilight? Well, if it brings any trouble here it’s gonna taste the Pain-bow!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, striking a dramatic fighting pose. Twilight fought the urge to face hoof at her bombastic friends bad pun. “I do so hope that it’s a nice friendly creature…like a rabbit or a mouse” Fluttershy said quietly, all the while imagining an entire society of cute white bunnies in waistcoats. “Don’t be a silly-filly Fluttershy!” an excitable pink blur appeared next to Fluttershy, snapping her out of her daydream “it’s an alien creature, I bet it’s got huge monstrous teeth and long claws on its creepy long limbs and black scales instead of fur and a large bulbous head…and a smaller mouth as it’s tongue!” All conversation ceased for a moment as the rest of the group stared at Pinkie Pie. “Sugercube, that’s the most ridiculous thing ah have ever heard” Applejack drawled. In response to this Pinkie simply giggled. “Your right Applejack, I guess I’m being as mad as a march hare” she said with a knowing smile. -Meanwhile, in the Everfree forest- The Hatter, completely oblivious the fact that he was in a similar situation to a certain lavender coloured unicorn, was trying to block out his companion’s presence whilst navigating his way through the tulgey wood. “Admit it, your hopelessly lost” came his unwanted followers voice. “I am not lost” he retorted angrily “I am merely taking the most exciting route between two point. Which as everybody knows is to pass through, around, under, and then twice circling” “So…you are lost” “I am not…why did you follow me anyway?” Hatter tried to glare at his companion, which proved a fruitless endeavour, as he was notoriously elusive. “Well, I wasn’t about to let that very fine hat out of my sight, you owe it to me after all that nastiness at the Red Queen’s court with the execution and whatnot. Besides I was curious about this new world” the voice purred at him. “You know what they say about cats and curiosity” Hatter growled back, the company he was in was affecting his mood badly. “Ugh such a horrid phrase. Please refrain from it’s usage” the Hatter was forced to stop as a grin appeared out of thin air in front of him, quickly followed by the rest of the whimsical feline known as the Cheshire Cat. Hatter stared at him, cat eyes meeting yellow, mad eyes for a moment before the feline blinked and disappeared again. He appeared further up the path almost immediately and waved one paw at the Hatter. “Come along already, we don’t have all day” the cat remarked with it’s trademark grin “Yes, I quite agree” the Hatter responded, pleased that he had won the stare-off “after all, it’s almost time for tea” -Back with the ponies- “Quiet girls, I think I hear something coming!” Twilight exclaimed whilst waving a hoof towards her friends. They immediately quietened down and stared in anticipation at the shadows of the forest. The silence of the dark wood was broken by the sound of something approaching. It sounded like hoof steps but the gait was…unusual. Rather than the distinctive four time step of ponies it seemed more like the walking of a Diamond Dog. Except that wasn’t right either. The Diamond Dogs treaded forwards lightly on their lower paws whilst this unknown creature had a much heavier step. The girls looked at each other anxiously, scared by the sound of a creature that made Diamond Dogs appear stealthy by comparison. The bushes in front of them began to sway and move, as if somepony was forcing it’s way through. The girls took a couple of nervous steps back and moved closer to each other, their eyes still locked on the bush in front of them. Then, with a sudden burst of effort, the creature broke through the brambly barrier that stood between it and the ponies. The ponies, already badly balanced by their attempts to back away from the bush, fell onto their flanks at the sight of the creature. It stood almost twice as tall as the ponies and was balanced on it’s hind legs, clothes covered it from head to hoof in a most unusual outfit and what little of it’s furless skin could be seen was a pale, almost ghostly, white. It clothes were a seemingly formal tailcoat done in strange colours, rather than the usual black suit and white shirt, it’s coat was a brown with a purple inner lining. It wore a grey chequered waistcoat and grey striped pants with brown shoes on it’s lower hooves, which appeared to be the cause of it’s stomping steps. Around it’s neck was curious pokadot cravat and atop its head was a ridiculously proportioned top hat from under which a curly orange mane exploded in all directions. Silence reigned as the two parties stared at each other. The ponies examined the unusual being with fear and a hint of curiosity whilst the creature just looked at them. It tilted it’s head slightly to the side, which caused it’s hat to rock precariously, before straightening up again and lifting a limb to it’s head. It used its unusual claw-like appendages to grasp it’s hat before lifting the accessory up off of it’s head and sweeping it’s arm around in a sudden motion. It’s upper body swung downwards as it’s hat-carrying limb swung round. The full effect appeared to be some sort of elaborate bowing motion. It then straightened up again and placed it’s hat upon it’s head. “I do appear to be quite lost, I wonder if you would be able to…how to put this?” The creature spoke, causing the mares to gasp in surprise at its speech capabilities “Oh I have it…take me to your leader!” it stated triumphantly. Silence, broken by the creature’s strange introduction, flooded in once more as the mares continued to stare at it. It stared back, now looking confused. “Did I say something wrong? You can speak can’t you?” Silence, that most persistent of forces, continued it’s reign of tyranny after the small rebellion that was the creature talking. It was just about to solidify it’s place on the throne and begin to put it’s agenda into practice when it suffered a full scale coup d’etat in the form of a pink pony’s loud gasp. “OH MY GOSH! Your so unusual! And colourful! And bipedal! That’s absolutely wonderful! Do you like parties? Huh, do you? I bet you do! You seem like such a fun pony to have at a party! I bet you have so many wonderful tricks up those sleeves of yours! And your mane! Its all poofy and goofy and explodey, it’s like mine…or Carrot Tops! Anyways, my name's Pinkie Pie, what’s yours? The pinkie party pony finished off her introduction speech with a huge grin. At her words the hatted one broke into a grin to rival Pinkie’s own. He took a deep breath and began to speak. “Oh wow! You do speak! And quite a lot too! How simply marvellous! And your so pink…incredibly pink if I do say so myself…well I suppose that’s why your called Pinkie, a quite fitting name. Speaking of names I believe that you asked mine? That question requires some analysis, after all, as a man in a mask once said, who is but the form following the function of what, and what I am is a man in a hat…so you may call me Hatter. My cautious companion is known as the Cheshire Cat, which makes no sense as I don’t believe he is from Cheshire but he is most definitely a cat, but then if you think about it nothing makes sense.” The ponies looked stunned for a second, something they seemed to be doing quite a lot around this new creature. This Hatter. Not only had he managed to withstand one of Pinkie’s whirlwind introductions but he had managed to form a rebuttal that was as confusing as the pink mare herself. “So your name is Hatter? And what do you mean companion? You appear to be alone.” Twilight managed to say, finally finding her voice. “My name isn’t Hatter but everyone seems to know me as such and a name, after all, is just a form of identification. If everyone knows me as Hatter then I see no reason why I shouldn’t be called Hatter. As for my companion, he is quite shy, especially around new people. You can come out now Cheshire, I believe they are here to welcome us” Upon saying this he appeared to be addressing thin air. Twilight and the other girls looked at him like he was crazy, except Pinkie of course, this was all normal to her. His confusing circular speeches, his habitat of going off on tangents as well as the fact that he was talking to somepony who clearly wasn’t there all pointed to him suffering from a mental disorder. Perhaps some form of multiple personality disorder, Twilight began to muse about the creature’s mental stability. Lost in her thoughts as she was she almost didn’t notice a large grin appearing out of thin air in front of her. The rest of the girl’s eyes locked on to the floating smile. The sharp teeth stretched wide into a manic grin. They continued to star as the rest of the smile’s body appeared. As if forming from mist the body of a large blue cat materialised around the grin. Black stripes ran along the length of it’s body and its tail swished gently from where it was floating in the air. Its head was resting on it’s front paws and it’s wide eyes stared in a predatory fashion at the girls. They couldn’t help but feel intimidated by its unrelenting stare, despite the fact it was half the size of the ponies. “Greeting to you on this fine day, ladies, I am the Cheshire cat, but please, call me Cheshire” he purred at them “but of course, Hatter has already introduced me. I am quite put out with you Hatter” he addressed his larger companion now “You stole my thunder” He revolved in the air again so that he was now facing the ponies. “My dears, please forgive Hatter’s rudeness. He’s quite mad you see, can’t really be held responsible for his actions. But then, where we come from, everyone’s a bit mad. You may have noticed, I’m not all-” He was interrupted as he was dragged into a hug by a yellow pegasus pony. She squeezed him tight and rubbed her muzzle against his cheek. “Oh my, your so cute. And you can float, I’ve never met a cat who could float before…not that it’s a bad thing, sorry. And your voice is so sophisticated, you sound like such a gentle pony…I’m sorry, I mean gentlecat.” “yes…quite” Cheshire responded tactfully “as I was saying, everyone is a bit mad where we come from. You may have noticed, I’m not all there myself” and with that his wide grin returned for a moment before disappearing with the rest of him, leaving Fluttershy hugging air. He reappeared in the air next to Hatter, who was giggling at the cat’s embarrassing encounter with the ponies. “we will not speak of that again…will we Hatter?” Cheshire turned to glare at his companion. Who returned the glare threefold. The ponies watched as the two locked eyes. The air seemed to crackle with the tension at the threat of violence that the two so called ‘diplomats’ gave towards each other. The moment ended as suddenly as it had begun, with the two ambassadors turning back to face the ponies, wide grins adorning their faces. “Anywho and anywhere, that’s quite enough of that I believe” the Hatter began “I believe it is your turn for introductions, and we best be quick about it, it’s almost time for tea. All these antics are making us very late” “Late? For what? You only just got here” Rarity asked. At her words Hatter reached into his coat and pulled out a pocket watch, he flicked it open and peered at it. He tapped it gently a couple of times and peered at it again. “Yes it is as a thought and feared. We are late. Quite late. For a very important date. In fact according to this we are late by almost two days” he leaned in close to the ponies “that’s not even fashionably late…that’s just rudely late you know” “Remember the incident with the butter, Hatter, that old timepiece has never worked properly since. The poor thing” Cheshire chimed in. “Oh yes of course, well in that case, if we hurry we might make it on time” and with that he began to stride past the six mares. “I don’t get it, late for what!?” Twilight shouted at him as he strode past “Why, late for tea of course!” he replied at equal volume before breaking into a run, his two legs travelling surprisingly swiftly, with the Cheshire cat floating after him. …Heading straight towards Ponyville.