"Minna HIIIIII!! Atashi SMILE desu! ARE YOU SMILING?!
"Smile-chan is so happy you're all here today! Did everybody vote for Smile-chan in the Idol Poll? Smile-chan wants to be the number one Net Idol, but she can't do it without all of you!
"Oh! Smile-chan almost forgot! The results of the cosplay vote for next week...hehehe, looks like a lot of the naughty boys out there voted this time, because you want Smile-chan's sexy service! Well...Smile-chan doesn't mind, since it's for you. Look forward to it!
"Smile-chan has some UNSMILING news. Smile-chan caught some of you trying to trace her IP again. Naughty! Smile-chan wants to make everyone SMILE, but she doesn't want her fans showing up on her doorstep. That would make Smile-chan very UNSMILE. So let Smile-chan have her secrets, ne?
"Smile-chan will be back in a little while! Here's Smile-chan's favorite video of the week. Enjoy! And...SMILE!"
Magic 4: スマイル
Rainbow spent the night at Twilight's house. Twilight was excited because it was her first ever sleepover; Spike had been threatened, on pain of emasculation, to steer clear. The two girls spent most of the night just talking; Rainbow told Twilight all about herself, while Twilight told Rainbow all about Sun Island, Celestia, and growing up as a mage.
When they arrived at school the following morning, Twilight noticed a large number of boys gathered at the back of their classroom, staring down at their phones and tablets with vacant, drooling expressions. "What's up with them?" she asked.
Rainbow shrugged. "I'll find out," she said. She walked over to the throng of boys, reached in, and grabbed a phone at random.
"Hey!" its owner cried.
Ignoring him, Rainbow walked back over to Twilight and showed her the phone. "Eh, they're pervin' on one of those Net Idols."
The owner of the phone marched over and seized it back. "We are not PERVING!" he said, storming off angrily.
"It isn't just the boys who love Smile-chan, you know," a girl sitting on her desk said. She brushed a lock of shiny spearmint-colored hair out of her eyes. Her own tablet, propped up on her desk, showed a strangely-dressed girl with enormous curly pink hair that looked for all the world like cotton candy. "She makes lots of people happy."
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said.
Twilight looked down at the video with interest. "Who is she?"
Rainbow shrugged. "There's a bunch of these Net Idols," she said. "Girls who wear crazy costumes and put up videos where they sing obnoxious pop songs or dance or just act silly. They're really popular." She glanced at the tablet, frowned, and rolled her eyes. "It's kinda dumb if you ask me."
"Yeah, well, nobody asked you," the spearmint-haired girl said, snatching up her tablet and turning away.
"Don't mind her," a blond girl with a drifting right eye said cheerfully. "Smile-chan's fans can be pretty UNSMILE sometimes. Which is kinda silly, since it goes against Smile-chan's ALWAYS SMILE message!" She skipped merrily to her seat, whistling a happy tune.
"...'Unsmile'?" Twilight asked. "Is that even a word?"
"Forget it," Rainbow said, settling into her desk. "Net Idol groupies have a language all their own..."
* * * * *
"You wanted to see us, noso?"
"Yes. I've decided to set a trap for our little mahoushoujo friends."
"What kind of a trap choki?"
"I'm summoning a particularly powerful Changeling tonight. I need to stage a very public trap...lots of bystanders. I have a hunch that they'll put the lives of the pathetic peons of this city above their own. The only piece of the puzzle missing is...love. My Changeling needs to impersonate someone everybody in Pony City loves."
"How about Smile-chan choki?"
"Smile-chan?"
"Yeah, she's a really popular Net Idol, noso."
"And nobody knows who she really is choki!"
"Yeah...just show the Changeling all her videos and stuff and nobody'll know the difference noso!"
"Hmm...interesting. Very well. I'll leave training the Changeling to impersonate this Net Idol to the two of you."
* * * * *
A girl with limp pink hair slumped into the chair at her study desk, tossing her bookbag against the wall. Chipped fingernails drummed rapidly on the keys of a well-worn laptop. Her mail client opened and her inbox rapidly began filling with new messages.
With speed borne of long practice, she read most of them, replied to a few, deleted a few more, and sent the majority of them to her auto-responder.
A soft knock sounded on her door. It opened slightly, and a dull face framed by dull grey hair peeked in. "I'm making dinner," a dull, flat voice said. "What do you want with your plain white rice?"
"It doesn't matter," the girl at the computer said absently. "Whatever you want to make is fine."
"I don't really want to make anything but plain white rice," the dull girl said. "Maybe some plain miso soup."
"Wow, you're in a frisky mood tonight."
"I don't even know what that means," the dull girl said before closing the door.
The pink-haired girl sighed, her hair drooping a little more. Her blue eyes, dull and glassy, stared at the still-growing pile of mail. "How unsmile."
* * * * *
Twilight collapsed onto a bench, chest heaving. Sweat plastered her gym shirt to her body.
Rainbow sat down next to her, barely sweating, a smirk on her face as she handed Twilight a liter of sports drink. "Man, you ARE outta shape, Twilight."
Twilight stared at her. "Out of sh—you just made me run FIVE! LAPS! of the school track!" She snatched the sports drink, took a deep breath, then chugged a third of it.
"Yeah, and after you catch your breath, we're gonna hit the weights," Rainbow said.
Twilight shot her a dirty look. "No thanks," she said.
"But you need to get stronger to fight Changelings!" Rainbow insisted.
"Umm...I use magic to fight Changelings," Twilight pointed out. "I don't mind a little running to stay in shape, but I'm not going overboard. I'm not an athlete. I don't really need to train like one."
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay, sheesh." She grinned. "Then I'll just have to work on helping you make more friends, like that Celestia lady wants."
Twilight grimaced. "Not you too," she groaned.
Rainbow patted her on the shoulder. "What've you got against making friends? Having friends is awesome. Being alone sucks." She frowned. "I guess...I need to make a few new friends too. Since..." She sighed and looked down.
Twilight's face fell. "Rainbow-san...I'm sorry..." She took another swig of sports drink. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I should...I mean, I don't want to disappoint Celestia-sama..."
Rainbow turned Twilight to face her, and pierced her gaze with stern rose-hued eyes. "Don't make friends to please your teacher," she said seriously. "Make friends because you don't want to be alone." She eased up, her face relaxing into a smile. "Besides, doing stuff with friends is way more fun than doing it by yourself!" She looked out at the sun, which was just beginning to set. "Come on, let's go shower and change and get outta here."
* * * * *
She picked at her rice with a frown, staring into the murky depths of her plain miso soup. "Anou...Oneesan?"
"What is it?"
"I think...I'm gonna head out for a bit."
"Without finishing dinner?"
"I think I've had all I really want."
"Okay, that's fine. Do whatever you want. Be home before it gets too late."
"Hai! Ittekimasu!"
* * * * *
Rainbow had decided to treat Twilight to dinner. After Twilight had called home to clear it with her mother, she'd followed Rainbow to a yakiniku restaurant in a more careworn part of Pony City.
Twilight stared at the charcoal grill in the center of the table. "What...?"
Rainbow blinked at her. "You've never had yakiniku?"
Twilight shook her head. "We don't really have meat on Sun Island, except for fish. We pretty much eat fruits and vegetables. We only even have milk because we can make it with magic."
"Wow," Rainbow said. "That sucks." She shook her head. "Well, anyway...you order raw meats and vegetables here, and whatever else you want with them, and then you grill your own food right at the table."
Twilight tilted her head. "So they make you cook it...yourself?"
"Yeah, and it's a lot of fun, especially in groups," Rainbow said.
The second she said that, a girl with limp pink hair and a blank expression was seated at the table adjacent to theirs. She gave her server her drink order, then studied her menu with dull blue eyes and a weary sigh.
Twilight stared at her. "More fun in groups, huh?"
Rainbow looked over at the other table. "Hey, I've seen her before. Yeah, she goes to Umadakara! She's in a different class than us, though."
"She looks...depressed," Twilight said.
"Yeah...come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen her look happy. Not that I really see her that much."
Twilight stood up and walked over to the other table. "Hello, excuse me," she said.
The pink-haired girl looked up, a faint expression of alarm on her face. "Y-yes?"
Twilight smiled at her. "My friend and I just got here too, we haven't ordered yet. Would you like to join us?"
The girl frowned. "I...don't want to be a bother," she said.
"Oh, you won't be a bother," Twilight said. "Besides, Rainbow-san said these places are more fun in groups...do you really want to eat all by yourself?"
The girl pondered that for a moment. "Well...I guess..."
Twilight hauled her to her feet and dragged her over to their table. When the server came with the drinks, she blinked. "She's joining us," Twilight said.
"H-hai," the server hedged, redirecting the pink-haired girl's drink order to the new table. "Well...I'll take your orders in just a minute," she said.
Twilight and Rainbow looked at their dinner guest, who looked between the two of them, then bowed her head. "Thank you for inviting me to your table," she said.
"Don't sweat it," Rainbow said. "Say, what's your name anyway? I've seen you around school, but I don't really know who you are."
"Oh, um...Pinkamena Pie."
"Pie, huh? I'm Rainbow Dash, and this is Twilight Sparkle."
"Pleased to meet you," Twilight said with a smile.
Pinkamena looked up at them, then ducked her eyes to her menu.
Twilight and Rainbow exchanged a glance, then turned to their own menus.
"So, what should I order?" Twilight asked. "I don't really have any experience with meat."
Pinkamena looked up at her. "Are you a vegetarian?"
Twilight shrugged. "Not really. I just moved here from an island where we don't have meat very often," she said.
"Oh," Pinkamena said. "Then you should really mix up your order with meat and vegetables. If you eat too much meat when your body isn't ready for it, you'll—" She trailed off, a shocked expression on her face. "Sorry, I didn't mean to say too much."
"You don't need to apologize," Twilight said gently. "You can say whatever you want. What were you about to say? It might be important."
Pinkamena gave a small, hesitant smile. "Oh! Well...it might give you the squirts really bad," she said.
Twilight blushed furiously. "That's...good to know," she said.
"Oh, and don't order horumon. REALLY don't order horumon." Pinkamena pulled a face. "Stick with the actual meat."
"I hear that!" Rainbow said. "I'm all about the short ribs! And chicken wings." She snickered. "Eh, Twilight? Wings? Wings?"
Twilight poked her sharply in the shoulder. "I get it, now stop," she said.
Pinkamena looked between the two of them in confusion.
Twilight rubbed the back of her head sheepishly. "Private joke," she said. "You had to be there."
"Oh...kay..." Pinkamena drawled.
Twilight turned her attention to the menu. "Hmm...I think I'm going to get some skirt steak, some daikon...what's kimchi?"
"Really spicy," Rainbow said. "It's fermented cabbage."
"I like kimchi," Pinkamena said. "I almost never get to have any, because my family..." She trailed off.
"Because your family...?" Twilight prompted.
"They...don't like spicy things," Pinkamena said. "Or tasty things."
Rainbow blinked. "They don't like tasty things?"
"Everyone in my family...they have really bland tastes," Pinkamena said. "Everyone but me."
"Is that why you came here all by yourself?" Twilight asked.
Pinkamena nodded.
Twilight smiled. "I think I'll try the kimchi. If I don't like it, you can have mine."
Pinkamena gave her a small smile. "Thanks. I'll order some too...I'm pretty sure you'll like it."
Rainbow chuckled. "What the heck, I'll get some too."
The server returned for their orders.
As they waited, Pinkamena looked at Rainbow. "Umm..." She cast her eyes down. "You were friends with those two seniors that died, weren't you?"
Rainbow sighed. "Yeah."
"I'm sorry," Pinkamena said. "I mean, I just met you, and I never met them...I only know of you from the school meets and stuff..."
Rainbow smiled gently. "Thanks."
Pinkamena turned her gaze to Twilight. "So...you just transferred here?"
Twilight nodded. "I'm from a pretty small island. I don't know much about Pony City yet. Or even Neighpon for that matter." She looked at Pinkamena. "What about you? Are you in any clubs?"
"Oh...well...no," Pinkamena admitted. "My parents don't want me to do school clubs."
"Why not?" Rainbow asked.
"Because if it doesn't have anything to do with rocks and minerals, it isn't worth wasting time on as far as they're concerned." Pinkamena blew an errant strand of hair from her face. "My whole family's like that. All three of my sisters, both of my parents..." She sighed. "Everybody but me."
"Rocks?" Twilight asked. "Are they geologists or something?"
"Mama is," Pinkamena said. "Papa owns a quarry. He's grooming my older sister Maud to take over. Right now, Maud and my other sisters run our mineral shop downtown. We sell rare rocks and minerals and geodes, as well as rock hammers, geology books...anything related to rocks, really."
"Well...geology is pretty fascinating," Twilight said. "But they don't want you to have any other interests? At all?"
"Uh-uh," Pinkamena said, shaking her head. "They want me to be as dull and boring and plain as they are." She sighed. "It's so stupid."
"Wow...that sucks," Rainbow said. "Don't you at least have any friends?"
"Every time I try to make a friend, my family's rock obsession gets in the way," Pinkamena said, sipping her cola.
Twilight smiled. "Well...we don't care about that," she said. "Rainbow-san and I...we'll be your friends."
The server returned with their food, and they set to the task of grilling the meats and vegetables. "Itadakimasu!" they chorused as they placed their first servings on their plates, while moving more meat onto the grill.
Twilight picked up a bite of steak in her chopsticks, dipped it in the house sauce, and tasted it. "Oh...! That's pretty good." She savored it for a moment. "I bet Spike would like this."
"Spike?" Pinkamena asked.
"My uhh...little brother," Twilight said.
"Her pervy little brother," Rainbow amended as she picked apart a chicken wing and dipped it in teriyaki sauce.
Pinkamena dug into her kimchi. "I wouldn't mind having a little brother. Even a pervy one. Just to break up the monotony a little."
"What do you think, Twilight? Is Pie here his type?"
Twilight grimaced. "That's not funny, Rainbow-san!"
"Sorry," Rainbow said, grinning. "So anyway...now you've got two friends, but why stop there?"
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Rainbow-san has decided it's her personal mission in life to help me make a lot of friends here," she explained to Pinkamena.
Pinkamena smiled slightly, but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. "That's nice. You're lucky to have a good friend."
"Hey, I'm your friend too now," Rainbow pointed out. "Maybe I can get you to work out with me! This lightweight refuses to do weights."
Pinkamena waved a hand in front of her face. "Pass. Lifting weights makes your chest smaller, and I like mine the way it is."
Rainbow blinked. "Makes your...chest smaller..."
Twilight snickered as she snatched one of Rainbow's chicken wings off the grill. This led to a good-natured free-for-all and much swapping of food, which even Pinkamena engaged in. Once all the food had been eaten, Pinkamena exchanged phone numbers with her new friends, then bid them goodnight.
"Well, she needs to unclench a little, but I could get to like her," Rainbow said as they walked to the bus stop, arms folded behind her head.
"Pinkamena-san's reserved demeanor probably has to do with her upbringing," Twilight said thoughtfully. "It sounds to me like her family's strictness and singleminded focus has left her...well...emotionally stunted."
"So we'll have to work extra hard to loosen her up?"
"It seems that way."
Rainbow grunted. "She's not the only one who needs to loosen up, you know," she said.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Twilight demanded.
"I wonder..." Rainbow replied with a cheeky grin before sprinting ahead.
"RAINBOW-SAN!" Twilight cried, chasing after her. "Aaa, mou!!"
* * * * *
Maud Pie sat in the living room, working quietly on updating the invoicing system for the family quarry, when a notification popped up in the corner of her screen.
Smile-chan! @smilesmilesmile
Had yummy yakiniku with two amazing new friends tonight! VERY SMILE!
The corners of Maud's lips turned upward a micrometer, and she went back to typing.
* * * * *
The following morning, many of the students in 2-C were in an uproar. Wincing at the noise level, Twilight headed for Rainbow's desk. "What's going on now?" she asked.
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "There's some kind of big announcement on the net," she said. "A big event at Hoshigusa Park this afternoon. One of those Net Idols is giving a surprise public appearance, apparently."
"I thought Net Idols didn't do things like that?" Twilight asked.
"They usually don't," Rainbow said. "That's why it's such a big deal."
"I see," Twilight said. "So which one is it?"
"It's Smile-chan!" the spearmint-haired girl from the previous day exclaimed, appearing in between them. "It has to be!" Her golden eyes shone brightly.
"It could be G.P.T," a stringy-haired boy said. "She's got the biggest ego of all the popular Net Idols."
Rainbow sighed. "Whatever. It's got nothing to do with us, so just ignore it." She pulled Twilight away from their now-bickering classmates and whispered, "Wanna go up to the roof for lunch? We can invite Pie."
"Sounds good, especially if this is still going on."
"It will be," Rainbow said with a grimace.
* * * * *
At lunch, Twilight, Rainbow, and Pinkamena sat on the roof. Twilight had a bento, while Rainbow had a curry bread roll and several onigiri, and Pinkamena had two bread rolls and three chocolate bars, the latter of which she shared with her new friends.
"That's all you eat, bread rolls?" Twilight asked.
Pinkamena shrugged. "If I brought a bento from home, it'd just be plain white rice," she said. "Better to buy my lunch here, or at the convenience store on the way to school."
"And my dad forgot to do the grocery shopping last night," Rainbow said. "I usually bring a bento, but I didn't really have anything to work with." She shrugged. "No big deal, I like curry bread once in a while. What kind of bread you got, Pie?"
"Anpan and melon bread," Pinkamena said. "I felt like something sweet today after all that spicy kimchi last night."
As the girls ate, Twilight asked, "Pie-san, are your classmates worked up about that announcement too?"
Pinkamena frowned. "Yeah, they are. It bothers me."
"Yeah, it got on our nerves too, that's why we came up here to eat," Rainbow said.
"Not that," Pinkamena said dismissively. "The blogs are saying things that...don't make sense."
"You follow this Net Idol stuff?" Rainbow asked.
"Well...sort of," Pinkamena said. "I just...think something's not right about all this. It's just a feeling I have."
"What, like a premonition?" Twilight asked.
Pinkamena shrugged. "I get them from time to time," she said. "They're usually right."
Twilight considered pursuing that subject further, but her phone interrupted her. She pulled it out and glanced at the screen. She frowned.
"What's up?" Rainbow asked.
"Oh...just a text from Spike," Twilight replied. "He wants to know if we're going to Hoshigusa Park this afternoon."
Rainbow snorted. "Yeah...no."
"I told him we'll be there," Twilight said. She shot Rainbow a serious glance, reached up to the collar of her blouse, and fingered the slender silver chain there.
Rainbow's eyes widened. "Oh. Oh...well...yeah. I guess we should probably go. Just to keep the little perv outta trouble."
"Then I'll probably meet up with you there," Pinkamena said. She finished off her melon bread, crumpled up the wrapper, and stood. "Thanks for inviting me to eat with you."
"Of course!" Twilight replied cheerfully. As Pinkamena left to return to her classroom, Rainbow leaned closer and whispered, "What's up?"
"Spike's picking up something really weird happening in that park," Twilight said. "There might be another Changeling attack."
Rainbow sighed. "Well, if there is one, I hope it doesn't kill anybody before we can get there."
"Me too..."
* * * * *
Twilight and Rainbow arrived to find a large crowd, comprised primarily of teenagers, gathered around a gaudily-decorated stage that had been erected in the center of the park. Two boys who looked to be about junior high age were performing various equipment checks on stage, while a large electronic backdrop flashed eye-searing pink and white patterns seemingly at random. Police struggled to hold the crowd behind the cordon around the stage. Spike suddenly appeared between the two girls. "Some crowd, huh?"
"Have you found the Changeling?" Twilight asked.
"Not yet," Spike said. "There's definitely one here, though. But something's not right. The detector's going completely crazy."
The two stagehands disappeared behind the pink curtains which hung on the edges of the stage. The electronic backdrop suddenly went still. The crowd noise abated slightly.
"MINNA...ARE YOU SMILING?!"
The crowd erupted in thunderous applause. A perky teenage girl skipped onto the stage. She wore a bubblegum pink miniskirt, a pink-and-white striped tube top which accentuated her rather generous bust, bright pink thigh-high stockings, darker pink hi-tops, and shoulder-length fingerless bubblegum pink gloves. Her hair was a mass of pink curls that looked like cotton candy, and every inch of visible skin was dusted with glitter. She held a pink microphone in her left hand, and waved to the crowd with her right. "I'm so happy to see you all! Welcome to Smile-chan's Special Stage!" Cheerful pop music began to pour from massive speakers. "I want to see a BIG SMILE on every face here!"
"SU-MAI-RU! SU-MAI-RU!" the crowd chanted.
"Hai! Smile-chan is going to sing now!" Smile raised her microphone to her mouth, and...
"STOP RIGHT THERE!"
Several loud grunts and cries of protest rang out from the front of the crowd, and a girl with limp pink hair jumped onto the stage, propelling herself by using a police officer's head as a springboard. She held a megaphone in one hand, and anger burned in her blue eyes.
Twilight and Rainbow stared at the stage, then at one another, jaws agape. "What is she doing??" Rainbow asked.
"Getting herself arrested," Twilight muttered.
"You know that girl?" Spike asked.
"That's Pie-san, the girl we met last night," Twilight said.
Smile turned to Pinkamena. "Why are you acting so UNSMILE?" she asked, pouting.
"Don't you DARE use that word, you FAKE!" Pinkamena hissed.
The crowd gasped.
Smile laughed. "Silly! I'm no fake! I'm everyone's favorite ALWAYS SMILING Net Idol—"
Pinkamena blasted a squeal of feedback right in Smile's face. "YOU. ARE. NOT. SMILE!"
The crowd began to boo. A few people threw things at Pinkamena, but she ignored them.
Twilight frowned. "This is bad."
"What's gotten into her?" Rainbow wondered. "I mean, this is a totally different person than the girl we met last night!"
"She looks really pissed," Spike said.
Pinkamena turned to the crowd. "Please! You have to believe me! This person is not Smile! I know it looks and sounds like her, but...but...I promise you it's not her!"
Smile laughed, long and loud. "You poor, delusional girl. You must be a fan of one of the other Net Idols. G.P.T perhaps? Trying to upstage me? Trying to make me look foolish? How UNSMI—"
Pinkamena clocked Smile in the head with her megaphone, then tackled her to the stage.
"Whoa," Rainbow said, eyes wide.
Police began to climb onto the stage, but the girls were rolling all over the stage as they struggled with one another, and the police hesitated, unsure as to how best to separate them.
Twilight frowned. "Spike...cover us."
"Got it," Spike said. A faint green shimmer enveloped the three of them.
"Twilight, you're not thinking—" Rainbow began.
Twilight already had her locket and Element out. "Element of Harmony...MAGIC!"
Rainbow stared at her transformed friend and sighed. "And you are. Alright then... Element of Harmony...LOYALTY!"
Rainbow flew toward the stage, while Twilight teleported directly next to the brawling girls. The audience gasped at the appearance of the two mahoushoujo. The police began to back away, suddenly unsure as to whether there was a real fight, or if this was a staged event. Spike appeared next to Twilight, already in his own battle attire.
Twilight leveled her baton at Pinkamena and Smile. "BARRIER!" A violet magical circle appeared between the two girls, separating them. Pinkamena was pinned to the stage, while Smile was flung against the backdrop.
"One of them is the Changeling!" Spike said. "I'm sure of it!"
"Right," Twilight said, nodding. She traced a broad magenta circle in the air with her baton. "REVEAL!"
A wave of violet light washed over the two girls on the stage. As it struck Smile, she let out an inhuman screech and changed into a black-skinned, humanoid Changeling with a distinctly feminine figure, slit-pupiled green eyes, gleaming fangs, and large, luminous blue butterfly wings.
Then the light hit Pinkamena...and the lank-haired schoolgirl changed into Smile.
Rainbow's jaw dropped. "What the HUH?!"
Twilight dispelled her barrier. Pinkamena sat up, rubbing her head. "Oooh...what happened? I feel REALLY unsmile." She blinked at herself. "Wait...how did I get in..." She looked up at the two mahoushoujo. "...Twilight? Rainbow?"
"Pie-san?" Twilight asked hesitantly. "Are you...are you the real Smile?"
Pinkamena stood up, dusting herself off. "Ah...heheh...yeah, kinda," she admitted.
"What the HELL just happened?" Rainbow asked.
"My Reveal spell...it's supposed to reveal the true nature of whatever I cast it on," Twilight explained. "I only use it to unmask Changelings, but...I guess in this case, it revealed Pie-san's true nature. It revealed that she's really the Net Idol Smile."
The crowd began to cheer, and Pinkamena waved sheepishly at them. She picked her megaphone back up. "Um...hi, minna. I'm the real Smile. Sorry about this."
"Ahem."
The three girls turned as one. The Changeling regarded them with a cold, deadly stare, arms folded.
"This is my stage," she said.
"Your charade is through, demon!" Twilight declared. She twirled her baton in front of her, then pointed the unicorn head at the Changeling. "You will not use these people's devotion to Net Idols to prey upon them! Bearing the Element of Magic, I will destroy you in the name of the Sun!"
Rainbow landed beside Twilight, feet planted in a wide stance, and held her lance upright in front of her. "We're sick of you bug freaks messing with our home! Bearing the Element of Loyalty, I've got a storm with your name on it!"
Pinkamena tilted her head and blinked at them. "Huh? I thought this was a Net Idol show. Are we doing tokusatsu now?"
"Stay back, Pie-san," Twilight said. "This creature is dangerous!"
"Oh, you have NO idea," the Changeling laughed. She rose into the air, fluttering her butterfly wings impressively. "Invited here by the magic of hate, I'm—"
"ZAP!" Lightning arced from Rainbow's lance, snapping and crackling along the Changeling's wings. Cut off in mid-speech, she screamed and fell to the stage.
"Now, Twilight!" Rainbow cried.
"Right!" Twilight transfigured her baton into a rapier, which she pointed at the Changeling. "Specimen pin!"
The Changeling laughed and shot into the air. "As if such a puny attack could damage my glorious wings!" she jeered. "Now, it's my turn!" She flapped her wings harder, and a storm of glowing blue scales enveloped the two mahoushoujo. Rainbow dropped to one knee, coughing; Twilight collapsed to the stage.
A cloud of green fire billowed forth, burning away the blue scales. "Are you girls alright?" Spike asked.
"STAY OUT OF THIS!" the Changeling roared, divebombing Spike. He vanished in a burst of green fire and reappeared beside Pinkamena.
"What's going on here?" Pinkamena asked, blue eyes wide.
"That thing that impersonated you is a demon from another world and it has to die before it kills those girls and everybody else here," Spike muttered.
"So...this isn't a tokusatsu show?"
"It's the real thing," Spike said.
Rainbow struggled to her feet. "Not...going down...so easy...!" she grunted.
Twilight struggled to stand, but couldn't move. "Rainbow-san...it's up to you..."
Pinkamena ran over to Twilight, fishing a chocolate bar out of her top. "Here, eat this!" she said, unwrapping it, breaking off a piece, and shoving it into Twilight's mouth.
Twilight chewed the chocolate. She moaned softly, looking up at Pinkamena. "You...keep chocolate...there?"
"A girl never knows when she's going to have a chocolate emergency," Pinkamena replied with a smile. "Feel better?"
Twilight blinked. "Actually...a little," she said. She managed to sit up. Pinkamena handed her more chocolate, which she ate. "How...?"
"I just had a feeling chocolate might help." She looked up into the air. "Wow. Rainbow-chan's wings are really pretty." She blinked, then giggled, snorting. "Wings! I get it now!"
Twilight looked up. Rainbow and the Changeling were flying above the crowd, trading blows. The Changeling was hurling globs of sickly green magic at Rainbow, who returned fire with wind and lightning. The crowd below had begun to disperse once they started to realize how dangerous the situation really was, though there were still far too many people in the vicinity of the stage. She pushed herself to her feet. "Get to safety," she said, clutching her shoulder and trying to massage feeling back into it.
"Are you crazy?!" Pinkamena asked. "I owe that big dumb bug...lady...thing big-time for pretending to be me!" She found the discarded microphone, picked it up, and walked to the front of the stage.
"HEY! YOU BIG FAKE!"
Rainbow and the Changeling paused in mid-air, looking down at her. The remaining spectators turned as well.
Pinkamena stared defiantly up at the Changeling. "I'm Pinkamena Diane Pie, also known as Net Idol Smile-chan! And THIS! IS! MY! STAGE!"
And with that, she pulled a silver locket from her cleavage, as well as a bright blue gem shaped like a balloon.
Twilight's jaw dropped. "What?!"
Spike blinked, then summoned the gilded chest containing the Elements. He opened it, and saw only three hexagonal gems inside. "But...how the...when...wait...WHAT?!"
A trio of balloons engraved themselves into the cover of the locket as Pinkamena opened it. "Element of Harmony..."
"No way," Rainbow breathed, staring down at her.
Pinkamena thumbed the balloon-shaped gem into the matching recess inside the locket.
"LAUGHTER!"
Her clothes exploded away from her body as her skin began to glow bright pink. A new skirt, dark pink satin with white lace trim, formed, followed by a light pink strapless top that left her midriff bare. Pearl pink spike-heeled sandals with satin straps formed on her feet, while elbow-length dark pink satin gloves appeared on her arms. A large, bright yellow bow appeared on the back of her skirt, trailing tightly-coiled streamers of ribbon; similar bows, light blue instead of yellow, appeared near the tops of her gloves. A jaunty hat shaped like a frosted cupcake formed atop her mass of cotton candy hair, and a bubblegum pink choker appeared upon her throat, with a charm that depicted three ballons, two blue and one yellow.
As the pink glow faded from her skin, a pink bazooka appeared in her hands.
"Whoa," Spike said.
Pinkamena hefted the bazooka onto her shoulder and pointed a gloved finger at the Changeling. "Bearing the Element of Laughter...I'm gonna SMILE you straight to Hell!"
Twilight teleported over to Spike. "When did you—"
"I didn't!" Spike cried. "I have no idea how she got one of the Elements! Or the henshin locket!"
The Changeling stared down at Pinkamena in disbelief. "IMPOSSIBLE!" she roared. "They said there were only two of you!"
"They were wrong, then, weren't they?" Pinkamena retorted with a laugh.
Rainbow put on a burst of speed and flew up above the Changeling. With a thrust of her lance, she paralyzed the butterfly-woman with her lightning. "Hey newbie! Wanna do the honors?" she called as she pulled her weapon free and flew clear.
"With pleasure!" Pinkamena replied with a savage grin, taking aim with her bazooka.
"SMILE CONFETTI VAGINA!"
With a tremendous BOOM and a cloud of pink smoke, a blast of confetti, streamers, balloons, cupcakes, party hats, and birthday candles exploded out of Pinkamena's bazooka, impacting the paralyzed Changeling. Arcs of pink electricity coursed over her body; she screamed as she exploded in a huge pink fireball that rained confetti on the park below.
The remaining spectators cheered wildly.
"SU-MAI-RU! SU-MAI-RU! SU-MAI-RU!"
Pinkamena giggled cutely and blew kisses to her fans.
Rainbow flew down to the stage, landing beside her. Twilight walked up next to her, reverting her sword to its baton form. "We need to get out of here," she whispered.
"Aww, do we have to?" Pinkamena whined.
"Yes," Twilight hissed, grabbing her wrist, then Rainbow's.
In a flash of light, they were gone, leaving an empty stage...
...save for two young boys standing behind the curtain, who glanced at one another with worried expressions.
* * * * *
The three mahoushoujo reappeared in the ladies' toilet on the other side of Hoshigusa Park. Twilight and Rainbow transformed back into their school uniforms; a minute later, Pinkamena did likewise, though her hair remained puffy and curly. She blinked. "Hey, how am I back in my school uniform? That spell you did—"
"Wore off once I changed back to normal," Twilight said.
"Well, at least I'm not naked," Pinkamena said. "Though I guess if I was, I could just change back into Magical Idol Smile—"
"We're not naming our mahoushoujo forms!" Twilight snapped.
"Awww, why not? It's more fun."
"I'm with Pie on this one," Rainbow said. "But, uhh...about that attack name..."
"How did you even get an Element of Harmony?" Twilight demanded, hands on her hips and staring at Pinkamena. "Spike still had the chest in his pocket dimension! And he's the only one who can summon it!"
Pinkamena shrugged. "I dunno. Sometimes when I really really need something really bad, I can just reach down between my boobies and it's there. I don't even put it there, it's just...there." She put a finger to her lips. "Funny, I've never found a magical element that turns me into a mahoushoujo there before..."
Twilight stared at her, jaw agape. "You...are...impossible," she said.
Rainbow snickered. "Well, whatever just happened, I'm glad it did."
"Me too!" Pinkamena said. "Not only did I make two awesome new friends, but now I get to fight nasty icky UNSMILE monsters with them too!"
Twilight sighed. "Yeah, okay, fine." She frowned. "Pinkamena-san...about your secret being exposed..."
Pinkamena waved a hand dismissively. "Eh, I'll deal with it somehow," she said. "I don't really mind coming out. This is gonna be really hard to explain to my family though." She smiled. "Oh well! Oh, and by the way? Just call me Pinkie."
* * * * *
Screens illuminated the room, displaying the battle between the butterfly Changeling and the three mahoushoujo.
"I can NOT BELIEVE THIS!!"
The two boys groveled before their mistress.
"It's not our fault choki!"
"Yeah...we did everything just like we were supposed to noso!"
"That third mahoushoujo just came outta nowhere choki!"
"Quiet! Both of you!"
The cowering boys instantly fell silent.
"I should have known this was Celestia's doing," she said, pacing back and forth. "I had my suspicions, but...seeing Twilight Sparkle here in this city..." She paused. "This is getting out of hand. If my plans for this wretched city are to succeed, I need to get rid of those mahoushoujo." She grinned evilly. "Twilight Sparkle has to die. And I need to do it...personally."