//------------------------------// // Day Two // Story: The Great and Powerful Writing Seminar of Obnoxious Awesome-isms! // by RavensDagger //------------------------------// DAY 2 Generic felt much better about attending the seminar that day. When he had arrived at his house the previous night, he had found that writing was a bit easier. Still far from perfect, but easier. He left home a little early and was happy to see that the spot he had claimed yesterday was still free. Trotting across the trampled grass, he could overhear a conversation between Twilight and a rainbow-maned pegasus who was throwing punches at the air.  “Come on, Twilight,” she said, “Let me at her, we can run her out of town like last time!” “Dash, I’m not sure you’re remembering the last time correctly. Didn’t she run away after an ursa minor rampaged through the town?” said Twilight, a wry grin on her face. “I remember you trying to show off and messing up...” Rainbow Dash’s face blushed bright red, to contrast her blue coat. “Doesn’t matter, I say we get her out of here anyway.” Twilight trotted forward and put a reassuring hoof on her friend's shoulder. “Look, Dash, Princess Celestia sent her here for a reason. And you saw her yesterday! She might be a rude, obnoxious, irritating... bah, you understand, but she was very good at what she did. Let’s give her a chance, alright?” “Hmph, fine. But I’m warning you, first sign of trouble and bam, she’s out!” The pegasus mimicked kicking somepony in the rear. Twilight giggled and started walking towards the stage. “Thanks, Dash. I appreciate the sentiment.” She hopped onto the stage and went about preparing herself for the second day of the seminar. This time, though, she was evidently not as stressed as the day before. Instead, she seemed to go about the mundane tasks with a renewed gusto. Generic found a spot at the front of the stage, right beside the same soft-voiced yellow pegasus as the day before. He considered starting up a conversation, but as more and more ponies filled up the space around them, he thought better of it.                  Soon after, Trixie stepped up the edge of the stage and fiddled with her cape impatiently. Twilight meekly stepped towards the centre. Trixie, smiling at last, joined her.         Coughing lightly to grab the growing crowd’s attention, Twilight began. “Welcome, one and all, to the second day of the Ponyville writing seminar. Today, my co-host and I will-”         “Co-host!? Trixie is co-host for nopony! You are simply the list-maker, while the Great and Powerful Trixie is the star!”         Grunting non-committedly, Twilight continued. “Right. The Great and Powerful Trixie and I will be teaching you about...” she pulled yet another list from the stack at the edge of the stage, “editors, proofreaders, pre-readers and... reviewers!”         “The Great and Powerful Trixie scoffs at such a mundane subject. It is of no importance to those that are learning to write,” said Trixie with a huff.         “Well,” began Twilight, “it’s very important to those wishing to be published that their work looks as good as possible before they show it to others-”         Rolling her eyes, Trixie snuck up beside Twilight and nabbed her list. Humming, she scrolled down the page, quickly going over the subjects they needed to cover. Finally, with an impatient neigh, she threw the list over her head, stepped to the edge of the stage and began her instruction.         “Editors, ha! Trixie laughs at your incompetent need for the fools. And, yet, she understands the necessity of them despite their arrogance.” She began to pace back and forth, her cape whispering along the ground barely inches from Generic’s face. “Does everypony here know what an editor’s job is? Anypony? No?” She sighed.         “An editor’s job is to take a piece of literature and to make it better, improving it as best they can. But, as Trixie well knows, the degree to which they can do this all depends on their competence, experience, and what type of editor they are. Trixie would like to remind you that all editors waste their precious time reading and correcting the useless drivel you dare to call fiction.” She finished with a haughty harrumph.         “Um, right. Editors try to help you, er... improve your... great pieces of writing,” said Twilight, trying to cover for Trixie’s transgressions against politeness. Tilting her head towards the unrepentant unicorn, she whispered loudly, “Don’t insult them; they’ll leave.”         “Trixie insults whomever she wishes. Seth is a fool.”         “Huh? Eh, nevermind. As I said earlier, there are four main varieties of editors. Let's start with the first, the pre-reader.”         Nodding, Trixie began, “Pre-readers are idiots who are not competent enough to-” she was cut off by Twilight punching her shoulder. She started again. “Their job is simple. They read the work and point out areas that are weak or that need help. They also give their overall opinion on the work. Is it good or bad? Does it have large, glaring plot holes? Is Trixie marvelous at all times? They are the ones who look at your work before it is even given to an editor. They find the big problems and point them out.”         Twilight nodded sagely and crept forward to speak. “Uh-huh. Well, dealing with pre-readers is easy, all you need to do is be nice and respect their opinions. They are, after all, taking some of their time to look over your work. So, be nice and take everything they tell you in your stride.”         “Quite right! Trixie always beats her pre-readers into submission before th-... Why are you glaring at Trixie? Fine. Pre-readers are great, be... nice to them.” She squirmed as if the word “nice” was distasteful to her. “Contrary to popular belief, the nice ponies over at Equestria Daily are not pre-readers, they are beta-readers or reviewers.”         Twilight mumbled something incomprehensible under her breath before noticing that everypony expected her to continue. “Um, right!” She ran to the edge of the stage and began levitating books and sheets of paper covered in notes, looking at each in turn. “I had a list of pre-readers somewhere...”         Trixie sighed loudly. “Disorganized fool, if you don’t pull your act together, people will start to think that you are out of character... Fine, Trixie will give them an address.” She swirled her cape, stared into the crowd, and said “www.fimfiction.net/index.php?view=group&group=27 You can find some almost decent pre-readers there.”         Twilight turned and blankly stared at Trixie. “Haitch tee tee pee what?!”         Trixie facehoofed. “Where do you live, in a cave? Are you not aware of High Tech Tube Ponies? Bah, nevermind. Trixie does not wish to argue over technology with somepony as backwards as you.”         An awkward silence loomed over the crowd as the pair stared daggers at each other. Somepony coughed, making the two mares refocus on their task.         “New subject!” declared Twilight to the relief of all gathered. “Now we will talk about proofreaders. Those are ponies that read a story just before it is posted or published. Their job is to iron out any last minute details, and to point out small flaws in the story that might irk your average reader.         “Proofreaders need to be very patient. Proofreading is incredibly difficult. It requires reading the same section again and again to make sure nothing got away. If you are a proofreader and you notice major flaws in the plot or storyline you can point them out. While it isn’t your job to fix these, nor guide the author in doing so, it is always good to try and lend a hoof in these matters!”         Trixie looked at Twilight, slightly surprised. “Trixie is impressed by your knowledge. She thought she would have to teach these bumbling foals on her own.”         “Um, thanks?” Twilight blushed and glanced away. “Anything else to add on the subject of proofreaders?”         “Trixie approves of the information given. Now hurry onto the next subject, she grows bored.”         “Okay then! Next up is reviewers!” said Twilight with gusto.         “Indeed. Now, Trixie would like to inform everypony of something that bothers her. Reviewers are difficult to deal with. Mostly because they do not directly interact with the author but only with the work, writing a review based on what they think about it and pointing out the major flaws. This annoys Trixie because she cannot have her way with them. They simply read what you wrote then review it, deciding whether or not it is good. Of course, Trixie has never encountered any problems. Everything she does is perfect.”         “Righ-” began Twilight before Trixie cut her off.         “The Great and Powerful Trixie would like to point out to you imbeciles that the best reviewers can be found at: http://saltblock.blogspot.com/. Trixie uses them to get her work accepted by Equestria Daily more often.” She turned to her partner. “So, Twilight. The next subject is...”         “Now, we cover editors. I mean, those that edit. Like, actual editor editors...”         “Trixie believes they understand,” Trixie deadpanned.         “Right. So, editors are possibly the most complicated of the subtypes. Their job is to do everything the other types do, and more!”         “Indeed,” said Trixie. “Trixie would like to remind everypony that editors have no souls.”         Twilight looked at her, expression panicked. “Trixie, you can’t say that! They are real, working ponies that spend countless hours trying to help aspiring writers!”         “The Great and Powerful Trixie disagrees. Anypony that can spend so many hours going over the infuriating mistakes that somepony else has made and trying their best to fix them cannot have a soul. They read your story, then poke at every mistake and error until you make it better. Trixie is impressed.”         “Um... wow. Okay then. Er...” Twilight lifted her list up again, “I think that just about covers everything...”         Trixie scoffed, walked over to Twilight and ripped the list from her hooves. “Evidently you are unaware that there is more than one type of editor editor... editor editor?” She scrunched her face up. “You grasp my meaning!”         “So, there’s more than one kind?” asked Twilight, trying to help Trixie save face.         “Indeed, the Great and Powerful Trixie believes that there are multiple kinds!” She lifted herself on two hooves and tiny fireworks popped in the air around her. Nopony was impressed.         “That is what I said, yes,” said Twilight with a small grin.         “The Great and Powerful Trixie will ignore your ignorance and give you the answer instead. Basically, there are different ways to edit a story, and each method has its own consequences. For example, some ponies write an edit like they write a review, with long pages of text that point out major mistakes and go into details about them. This is great for an author that wishes to improve and learn from his or her mistakes. Of course, Trixie’s work never requires such effort to perfect.         “On the other hoof there are editors that will fix everything for you. Unfortunately, these editors can impede your ability to learn from your mistakes. They should be reserved for authors that have no major problems, and need only a little help here and there. Lastly, there are editors that will cover a document with notes regarding anything and everything. They will both explain your mistakes and suggest improvements. These are often the best editors all-round. There are many more types of editor out there, and many more methods of working as an editor. Thankfully, Trixie has never needed their assistance.”         Twilight gave her a disbelieving glance. “Not even once?”         “Never. Trixie is just that good.”         Twilight nodded. “Well, I’d love to watch you write one day.” Her face flushed. “A-Anywho, I think that’s everything?”         “Indeed. In the scenario that one of you foals wishes to actually find an editor, Trixie suggests the terrible place known as ‘ponychan’. They have a thread for people like you.” With that, she disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving Twilight standing awkwardly alone.         Shuffling her hooves, Twilight looked at the crowd. “Uh... see you all tomorrow? Tomorrow’s subject will be punctuation and grammar. I hope you all like the seminar.” With a purple flash, she disappeared in turn.         Generic glanced around at the other ponies. None moved for a few moments, but they soon began to file out one by one. He heard the meek yellow pegasus at his side mutter, “Oh, I hope Twilight’s alright,” before taking off, leaving him alone.         Strangely saddened, Generic followed the crowd out. Perhaps the next day would be more helpful?