//------------------------------//
// Nineteen 
// Story: Dashie: Twenty Percent Cooler 
// by Kieva Lynn 
//------------------------------//


Standard Disclaimer: I do not own MLP, nor am I in any way affiliated with the author of the story this fic is based upon.

XXXXXXX

Chapter Nineteen

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"Your wife is coming here?" Celestia asked.

"Yeaaa! Another human!" Lyra cheered.

"Yes." Solomon answered, "And Lyra, it may be humans, plural. Pam didn't say anything about dropping the girls off with anyone so they're probably with her."

"Yeaaa! Little humans! Squeeeee!!!!"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Lyra, Sugarcube... Seriously, get some help."

"Focus." Brian said. "What do we do?"

"I think that depends." Twilight said. She turned to Solomon and asked "Did you tell her?"

"Not as such. I just said that an old friend had a situation I got caught up in."

Luna asked "Is there truly cause for concern? They will simply be discovering what everyone on Earth will know in two day's time anyway."

"True..."

Rainbow said "If the little girls are with her, we'll have one small problem though... See, little human girls usually have a big thing about horses and ponies. And an even bigger thing about unicorns. Anypony with a horn is gonna have their hooves full."

"Great..." Twilight muttered.

Seeing that Lyra was still bouncing for joy, though, Applejack suggested " Nah. Just point them and Lyr at each other and they'll all be happy." The comment gave a needed laugh to the whole room.

Twilight asked "So how long before they arrive?"

"About three hours. Like I said, Jessie's already on the interstate, and she's got a lead foot."

Twilight's eyes opened wide. "An artificial foot? But why would they make it out of lead?"

Rainbow laughed. "Twi, let's talk figures of speech..."


XXXXXXX

General Carver, followed closely by Doctor Hansen, stormed through the underground warrens of Fort Wyvern. They were on their way to the containment chamber, but not for anything Pinkie herself had done. Quite to the opposite, it was other human beings Carver was angry with this time.

The General threw open the last door, loudly demanding "What in the hell do you think you're doing?

Already in the room with Pinkie were two smarmy looking men in expensive black suits. "Ah, General Carver. I'm Agent Smith and this is Agent Smith. We've been following your reports regarding the entity. We're here to assist in the investigation."

"By what!?" Hansen demanded. "You had better not be planning invasive procedures!"

"I have to agree." Carver said. "I don't want others of this thing's kind upset with us."

"Never fear." The first Smith said, "We don't want that either. But you must understand how seriously your information has some people worried. This being can apparently violate the laws of physics at will, escape custody on a whim, and now your newest info reveals that it is hiding it's true form by masquerading as a cartoon character."

The second Agent Smith added "Which is why, though we do not intend to harm the entity, we are willing to take acceptable risks..." He then produced a syringe and quickly jabbed it into Pinkie's foreleg.

"What is that?" Carver shouted.

"Just a bit of sodium amitol."

"Truth serum!?" Hansen exclaimed. She was livid with anger. "You fools, there's no telling what the might do in her system!"

"We kept the dosage small."  Agent Smith (both if them) leaned in over Pinkie. "Now for some answers." The first said.

"Exactly." The second agreed. He looked Pinkie in the eyes. "What is your name?"

"Pinkie Pie."

"I mean your real name."

"Pinkie Pie."

"Your! Real! Name!" Smith shouted angrily, emphasizing each word.

"Pin! Kie! Pie!" The pony replied.

"Okay fine, we'll come back to that one. Let's try this: What do do want?"

At this point, Pinkie's eyelids were drooping closed, as if the serum's effect on her was getting stronger. "Want?" She mumbled.

"Yes! What do you want!?"

"I... Wanna..."

"Tell us!"

"I... Wanna..." Suddenly the slur vanished from Pinkie's voice as she jumped up, free of her restraints, and concluded "...PARTY LIKE IT'S NINETEEN NINETY NINE!!!!" The two agents stumbled back, gaping in shock at the room which was instantly covered in new party decorations. Meanwhile, Pinkie began to dance and sing.

"Is there any way to make this stop!?" One of the Smiths shouted.

"Let me try something." Hansen answered. "Hey Pinkie!"

Pinkie appeared by her side. "What's up doc?" She asked and munched on a carrot.

"Nineteen ninety nine was several years ago. It's too late to party like that."

The decorations vanished and Pinkie's mane and tail deflated. "Nuts." 

XXXXXXX

Jessica Jennings turned off the winding country road onto a narrow gravel driveway. As she did so, she wondered again just what her husband was caught up in. She didn't suspect infidelity; Solomon was not that kind of man. And yet, here she was, hundreds of miles from home, because a friend of his had an unspecified 'situation.'

Solomon hadn't even been willing to tell her where he was. She had been forced to activate the GPS in his phone to locate him. She wondered if telling him what she had done was the best choice. No matter, she and the girls were here now... And there was Solomon, sitting on the front steps of a house, just visible in the pre-sunset light.

Solomon rose from his seat as the familiar car drove up the way. "Time to face the music." He said.

From inside, a voice asked "You sure this is how you wanna do it?"

"Yes. She's parking now, get ready." Solomon began slowly walking towards the car as the doors opened. Jessie was out first, followed by their daughters. He would have swore he heard a "Squeeeee!" from inside when the girls came into sight.

"Hello sweetie." Solomon said.

"Don't you hello sweetie me! I want to know what's going on here!"

"Well, that's a long story... You remember Brian Dashell right?"

Jessie grimaced. "That's the friend? The guy that cut everyone off then moved clear out of town?"

Solomon nodded. "That's the one. Though, I've found out in the last few days that he had a very good reason for what he did. Which, by the by, is what all this is about too."

"And what might that be?"

"It's better if I just show you." Solomon turned, opened the front door, and stepped to the side as Dashie joined him.

"Wow daddy! She looks just like Rainbow Dash!" Tammy exclaimed.

"That's 'cause I am me kid."Rainbow laughed.

Three things happened simultaneously: Tammy shouted "She talks!" Becca squealed and ran forward to hug the pegasus, who took it with good grace. And Jessie screamed and ran to hide behind the car, yelling for the girls to join her.

Laughing, Solomon tried to reassure his wife that there was no danger. "C'Mon Jess, I've been around them for four days now. Rainbow here lived with Brian for fifteen years!"

"I still don't like my girls around an unknown animal! Especially an adult!"

"Person, not animal." Rainbow said. "But if you want kids for them to hang out with..." She looked towards the house. "Hey Scoots! Get out here! Bring your friends too!"

Tammy and Becca squealed with glee when the Crusaders came trotting out the door. Girls and fillies ran to each other to make introductions. "Mama can we play together?" Becca shouted.

Jessie stared at the fillies. They seemed harmless enough, but she was still leery. "Well... Okay, but stay in my sight!" As the children began an impromptu game of tag, she glanced at her husband. "Answers. Now."

Solomon chuckled as he said "Right. Let's go inside... Hey girls? Back inside, I'll get Brian to let you use the Wii."

As they followed the kids inside, Jessie asked "There, um, aren't any more of them are there?"

"Wait 'til you see..." 

XXXXXXX

Agent Smith (Even I'm not sure which one at this point) leaned in close to Pinkie. "Let's try this again. Why are you here? What do you want?"

Pinkie contemplated the question. "What do I want...? Hmmm... You mean, like, out of life?"

"Well no, but if you'll answer that seriously I'll consider it a good place to start from."

"I think I'd like to have my own television show!"

"Your... What!?"

"Yeah! It would-be called 'Pinkie and her Brain' see, and it would be all about me and my disembodied brain-”

Smith interrupted. “Disembodied brain?”

“Sure! 'Cause without the brain character we couldn't call the show 'Pinkie and her Brain' could we? It'd just be called 'Pinkie.' And that would suck. Anyway, the brain and I would travel around to the worlds from bad fanfics and fix what was wrong with them!" She shook her head sadly. "It'll never happen though."

"Okay I'll bite. Why not?"

"Executive meddling."

"I'm sorry what?"

"See, it's like this... I would want the very first episode to be about me saving Dashie from the evil me in Cupcakes. But the network executives would force us to save that story for the season finale cliffhanger. And then I'd never find out how good real me beats evil fake me! And do you know why!? Because they'd refuse to renew us for season two so the second half of the episode would never get made!" Pinkie frowned. "I hate when they do that."

"Excuse us for a moment." One of the Smiths said. Both exited the room to where Carver, Helms, and Hansen were waiting. "How do you handle this thing!?" He blurted out. General Carver broke into open laughter. 

XXXXXXX

Earth. Somewhere else. Atop a hill, in the dead of night, the winds stirred. The darkness grew deeper, fuller. The stars overhead sparkled, flashed brighter, their light however being lost in the miasma of coal-black clouds that rolled across the surface of the ground. There was nothing more... ...and then there was. A new arrival now stood atop the hill. “Now, if I were a former host, where would I be...?” whispered the Nightmare...