//------------------------------//
// The Lady in White, the Villain in Red 
// Story: Codex of the Chaotic Heroes 
// by The P Co 
//------------------------------//


-Crystal Kingdom, northwest field-


Trevor watched as Michael took the Ender Pearl in hand, throwing it far, far away, towards the others in the ‘Going to The End’ group.

“So remember Trevor, help the other three hold down the fort while we’re gone, and we may put back two from our group to help, do you understand? Also, there is a chance that, like the first three, this pearl may fail to summon an Endermite, so be prepared for that.” Michael asked.

“Yeah yeah, get out of here ya fuckin’ walking encyclopedia.” Trevor replied, waving a hand as he spun his Heavy Revolver around on his finger.

Michael disappeared in a puff of purple particles right as a wave of blue light appeared and a black-clad figure stabbed the air that had Michael in it a few seconds prior.

Agent 4 yelped in pain as Trevor’s baseball hit her in the head, knocking her unconscious.

The balding man stood over the fallen agent, picking her up, binding her arms and legs with ropes, putting her in the back of his truck, and driving back to the castle.





Michael appeared in front of the others in a burst of purple particles.

A few tense seconds passed as the group shared a collective bated breath.

A giant purple worm appeared near Michael’s feet, and he jumped thirteen feet into the air to avoid it, landing several feet away.

The others nearly screamed at how huge the worm-like insect was, it was easily a foot thick and a good foot and a half long.

*VORP*

Suddenly, a lanky, black-skinned figure appeared in a cloud of purple sparkles.

The Enderman had detected a glitch in this area, and immediately came to sort it out.

Michael began receiving information on the Enderman, and he pulled out his White Phasesaber, which had been upgraded from the Phaseblade that Steve? had given him with about fifty shards of crystals. He raised it in a defensive stance.

The others finally got a chance to examine the black figure a bit more closely.

The Enderman was tall, really tall, almost 10 feet tall, with slim, speedy limbs, a thinly muscled torso, purple flames wisping out of its shoulders, piercing purple eyes, and a slightly glowing mouth.

The Enderman turned to the others after crushing the wretched Endermite into mush.

*growak, kalf, kay-yak.* it raspily informed.

“Michael? Translation?” Stryker requested.

“It’s assuring us he came not to harm us, but to destroy this glitch. My own gains tell me that the Endermen are a sort of... police force for all of existence, and they have a knowledge power similar to mine, but rather than learning everything about everything, they learn only a list of your physical, lawful, and moral crimes, and most people are too bad to let live.”

Steve: wow, I feel terible now, theyv been ataking me 4 yrs

“Yes, it can only do this when locking eyes, however. I will now communicate with him.” Michael cleared his throat.

*grahka-lahk, coo-ahk, jivah?* Michael asked in a inflection that most would injure their throat attempting to perform.

*dreeyahg, garble, gurrrgg.* The Enderman answered.

“So, Eduardo here is willing to bring six of us to The End. However, Lee and Dovahkiin, you two must stay behind.”

“Why?” Lee asked, coughing up some more bile.

*kiek, grack, fffeejjjjarook.* Eduardo explained.

“You are tainted, and Dovahkiin is an enemy.”

“How the hell am I an enemy?” Dovahkiin charaded.

“The End is led by the Ender Queen, the great Ender Dragon, she is enemies with all other dragons, for she is the lady of beginnings.”

“I thought it was The End, not The Beginning.” Coach remembered hearing ‘The End’.

“The End is as The Beginning. In the beginning, there was nothing, and in the end, there too, will be nothing, we are technically in The Middle.” 

“Enough of this storytime bullshit, are we going or not?” David snapped the metaphorical train back on track.

“Dovahkiin’s dragon powers make him an enemy of the Ender Dragon, and Lee is tainted, so you two won’t be joining us.” Michael commanded, looking to Eduardo again.

*jeeee, kark ikirge, gizheeeek.* Eduardo opened his wide, soul-consuming maw, looking to the sky.

His shoulder flames flared up, and he teleported away.

“He is checking to make sure if it is okay that we may receive some Ender Flames, which would allow us to go to The End at will without any other devices.” Michael translated.

David took a few steps back, thinking the situation over and holding the paper to his face for Maxwell to read.

‘So, potatoes, the opposite of a potato is… a patata, potato patata, poe-tay-toe, oh-toe-tap, toe tap? Tapped, toes, toes that are tapped, tapping practices get sap from trees, sap, sweet like honey, on toast, like butter and jelly, jellies and jams.’

‘Shut up, shut up, SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SOUND LIKE SOMEONE WITH ADD OR SOME SHIT!’

‘We need toejam-'

'And Earl?' David internally smirked at that well-timed joke.

'No... shut up, I need to concentrate to abstractly construct the possibilities of opposites, but I think I know… HOLY SHIT THIS IS A CODED PART OF THE LUSAR CODEX!’

‘The what?’

‘The Lusar Codex is the light counterpart of the dark arts manual that is Umbra Codex, and this is part of it, if I’m not mistaken, that number in the corner reads Page 48 of 1000, which is the page of the Mind Fragment spell in the Umbra Codex, so this is a Mind Defragment spell, or Mind Reconstruction, this would useful, if only you had a fragmented being.’

‘Last time I checked, I’m me, so… it’s useless.’

‘Not entirely, it may turn out that something is missing, I have noticed a large hole in your mental faculties, a hole where things pertaining to malice and insanity would go. You have been doubting your own sanity, but from what I’ve been able to gather, you have this world’s most stable mind. Even with all of my power over nightmares and terrors bearing down on you, you would still be fine.’

‘I doubt that, you’re driving me crazy right now.’

‘No, I’m making you mad, and I apologize, I’ll just keep that spell ready, if you ever need to cast it, merely shout Luces Crueshes Replueces the Puces.’

‘That sounded like you just made up a really forced rhyme.’

‘It’s just the spell, don’t question the spell, it will do exactly as intended, bring the fragments of your being back into your control.’

‘Cool, oh hey look, you’ve translated it, now shut up, and never speak again.’

‘As you wish, because I am a man of my honor.’

‘Good.’

‘One last thing.’

‘What?’

‘Dont you dare play any more of that... ‘dubstep’ again. It’s loud, annoying, and makes me want to listen to that horrid ragtime song again just to drown it out.’

‘Everyone’s a critic.’ David noted to himself as he grabbed Eduardo's hand in order to be teleported to 





“Uhhh....” Agent 4 stirred

“Wakey wakey, spy girl...” A voice called out.

The woman soon found herself waking up to two men, eight ponies, and two dragons.

“Oh... this is fantastic.” Agent 4 said, looking at Trevor.

“Yep, I sorta saw you try to stab my friend after he left, and I knocked you out.” Trevor informed, recreating the swing with his baseball bat.

“Hmm... the last human still behind bars?” The gray-clad agent asked, referring to Albert.

“He killed one of my subjects in cold blood, and then started eating the remains.” Cadence said with a strong trace of anger and disgust.

“To be honest, I never expected him to snap like that. I was expecting the other two humans here to do exactly that.” Shining said, looking at Trevor and The Dude.

“Not that huge of a stretch.” Spyro said, looking at the methhead.

“Yeah, onto bidness. Why the hell were you stalking us?” Trevor said as he took out a knife.

“I don’t know? Why are you so insane? Was it because of ‘Mr. Townley’.” Agent 4 mocked.

Trevor took his knife to her throat and snarled.

“Don’t you dare mention that name.”

“What about Mr. Clinton? The Union Depository?”

“YOU... got a deathwish!”

“Trevor, that’s enough!” Twilight yelled out.

“You stay out of this!” Trevor snapped back.

“Don’t ya dare talk ta Twilight like that, ya crazy man!” Applejack stood in between the two.

“Yeah, you really want to throw down, Trevor? We’ll throw down.” Rainbow Dash put up her dukes.

“Please do, it’ll be amusing.” Agent 4 said, subtly taking her balisong out from her wrist sheath.

“Be quiet, you... you...” Rarity shouted back, her expression saying what her mouth wouldn't, which was the word 'bitch'.

“Manners ma’am, you have an image to keep up.” Agent 4 mocked, doing a good impression of the white mare.

“Why you...” Rarity grit her teeth, but stayed calm.

“Hold on, tell me, who are you?” Shining demanded.

“Confidential.”

“Well then... I suppose we need to make you talk then.” Trevor walked out of the room.

“What does he mean by that?” Shining asked.

“I don’t know.” Pinkie asked.

“Well, I guess you seven have to leave now.” The Dude said.

“Why?” Spike asked.

“Just a hunch. Leave.”

With no reason to argue, the six ponies and dragon left, just as Trevor came in with a full sack.

“Oh, what’s in the sack?” Cadence asked.

“Just some needed supplies.” Trevor said as he placed some of the stuff down on a nearby table.

There was a car battery, a canister of gasoline, a pair of pliers, and a large monkey wrench.

‘Oh no, it’s this.’ Agent 4 thought with only a tiny amount of dread.

“And what’s this?” Shining asked.

“Oh... I know what all of this is for.” The Dude mused as he leaned against the wall.

Trevor raised his hands and walked towards Shining, Cadence and Spyro. The three backed up from him, all the way out of the room, which gave Trevor room to close the door and lock the trio out.

“You do realize that my mask isn’t attached to my face, right?” Agent 4 said, clearly annoyed at this scene happening again.

Trevor slapped her, hard, and triple locked the room, ensuring that this process would go uninterrupted.

The Dude suppressed a chuckle, watching from the far corner of the room.

Trevor pulled an scalpel from the sack, bringing it up and making an incision across 4’s cheek, then he ripped off her mask, making sure the edges of the cut in the mask scraped at the wound.

A white face met his own, with angry blue eyes and the very short remains of an indigo mane that had faced a buzz-cut in order to fit it into a concealing suit.

“Holy shit... another Rarity, one that looks like a human!” Trevor shouted, informing those who hadn’t caught on as he found himself amused by this turn of events.

“Anthropomorphic, you idiot, get it right.” Rarity snapped, snarling and baring her teeth at him.

“How am I supposed to know that word?” Trevor said, moving up from a scalpel to a switchblade and making another incision across her forehead. Rarity winced, but still snarled.

“So, who hired you?” The torturer asked again

“I’d rather die than give away secrets like that.”

“Alrighty then... fine by me. Get the rag Dude.”

The Dude smirked as he took out a dirty towel, then reached for the gasoline.

“Mr. K is still angry at you Trevor.”

“Not as much as he’s pissed at Mr. Haines, who I killed.“ Trevor said with pride.

Trevor replaced the switchblade with a bowie knife, cutting a large T in Rarity’s stomach.

“Y’know, this is really nothin’ personal… well actually that’s the only reason… it’s not because yer you, it’s because you were trying to kill my friend.”

“I just came here, so you have little basis for this.” Rarity tried to logic Trevor into confusion.

Too bad that, just as you can't break an already broken mind, you can't logic a crazy man, “Where’s the fun in makin’ sense?” Trevor pushed the mare backwards, flattening her out into a laying position, then let the Dude laid the towel on her face.

“Alright, this is gonna be very wet!” Trevor took the gas canister and poured the gasoline on her rag-covered face.

By instinctual reflex, Agent 4 felt like she was drowning, and so she struggled against her bonds, getting his wrists scratched up by the rough leather bonds. Her limbs went cold as she continued to struggle and her body felt numb in a response to the supposed lack of air.

Trevor decided to give her a break... for about 5 seconds, right before repeating the process again.

Trying to stop herself from freaking out, Agent 4 tried to wrench her foot loose.

That only resulted in her getting a wrench to the foot.

“GAAHH” she screamed, muffled by the soaked towel.

“Ah ah, no tricks.” The Dude chastised the mare, hefting the wrench up again.

Trevor decided that this part of the torture was coming to the end of its entertainment value, and lit the towel on fire.

“GRAH... YOU... AHH...” Agent 4 yelped through the flames.

“I’m sorry... NOT!” Trevor began to stomp on her face to put the fire out, laughing in his grating, offensive laugh, and repeatedly causing blunt force trauma to her face.

The laughing man removed the charred towel from her face, and found that her eyes didn’t seem to be damaged at all.

Trevor decided to fix that.

Out came a pair of brass knuckles.

“You have to give those back later.” The Dude said to Trevor.

“In another world, Rarity, we’re married, and this is classified as domestic abuse.” Trevor said as he punched her in the side of the face, causing a sick *CRUNCH* and making blood leak from the corner of her eye.

“Of course... hehehe. There are infinite universes... hehe... and there’s especially one where Franklin and Michael stab you in the back, and kill you to appease Haines!”

Trevor pulled out a pair of spiked handcuffs.

“YOU FUCKING...” Trevor couldn’t even make words correctly.

He took her arms out of the binds, then cuffed them, making sure the spikes dug into her flesh as deeply and painfully as possible.

“AHHHHhhhhhhh.... yep, never seen that before... You know... *pant* *pant* you try too hard.” Rarity mocked, however she knew that this excessive force would soon end her life if she didn’t act fast.

He forced her to sit up and brought his broken bottle down into her back several times.

Rarity moaned in pain, feeling a nauseating shock to her lower back.

“Are you actually enjoying this? Fucking masochist.”

“Not really darling, just used to the pain.” She corrected, feeling indignant at being called something so unprofessional a masochist.

“Wow... that’s unbelievably hot.” The Dude found himself aroused slightly.

Trevor, on the other hand, vowed to make her scream in pain, and laid several used needles on the back of the table, setting her down onto them.

“Okay... so... we’ll do this the hard way... Get the battery, and the jumper cables.”

Rarity grit her teeth, “In some places, one might think this is some sort of gateway from torture to rape, it all depends on where you put the clamps.”

“In some places, you SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I GIVE UP AND BLOW YOUR GODDAMN HEAD OFF!” Trevor pulled out a pair of knife blades, the handles having been removed, and stabbed them into her legs.

“*URG* P-please, jumper ca-cables and... and a car battery... y-you have little originality.” Rarity snarked, but with her blood loss, she was starting to feel weak.

The balding man attached one set of the cables to the battery, then the other set to the tangs of the asian blades.

*click-BZZZZZRRRT BUZZZZZZZZ-click* The shock was intense, however it had cauterized her wounds.

“Okay... that’s... a new one. *Cough cough*” She hadn’t been expecting such an intense shock, but with a metal catalyst like he had, and a vantage point that sent the current directly into her muscles and nerves, it was nearly fatal.

“Now... who ordered you to spy on us?” Trevor said.

“Nobody did, I came to this Equus on my own free will, but if you must know,  my boss is named Damon... *snicker*... Good luck, there are millions of people named Damon across the multiverse.”

“Damon... well... is he...”

“He has lieutenants... one of them is codenamed ‘Condition One’, and he’s going to kill a traitor to our little group.” Rarity smirked as she felt the effects of blood loss set in.

“What did the traitor do? I might make a temporary peace pact with you to help you get rid of him, because I just hate traitors that much.”

“He’s helping you, in a way, actually, but not your little… ragtag bunch of misfits… another ragtag bunch of misfits.”

“Who are they?”

“Well, there are wizards and scientists and assassins and warriors and soldiers and mercenaries and all sorts of humans out there, why don’t you take a guess?”

“Uh… Machete.” Trevor gave up and began ruffling through the bag again.

“No, the man known as Machete is working for a bastardization of Earth known as Earth Macho49.”

“No… machete.” Trevor pulled out a large machete worthy of Jason Voorhees, or the eponymous Machete.

“What do you plan on doing with that? It’s not a cutting tool.” Rarity knew exactly what Trevor might be planning to do with it, and wished that he wasn’t thinking of that.

“Well, ya got some purty hands, I might want to keep them, so I think I’ll take one, maybe both, chop chop chop, right through them wrists.” Trevor pulled a katana out of the bag as well, “And you need some more flesh wounds too.” 

Agent 4 gulped down her anxiety and slid her balisong against the rough leather binding, slowly cutting it open. 

Trevor swung the katana first, cutting into her stomach area at an angle from the right side.

Agent 4’s hand was almost free, “GAH...”

“And now, for the hand!”

The binding broke, and Agent 4 suddenly lashed her hand out, catching the blade and throwing it away from herself.

Then she punched Trevor in his groin. Without hesitation, she took his Micro SMG and fired into his face.

Trevor collapsed to the floor after a few seconds.


WASTED


The Dude took out a M@D Colt Revolver and begun to fire. Agent 4 kicked him into the wall, then walked and grabbed a health pipe off of him.

She smoked it, and felt new energy come back to her.

“This will hurt me later, but it is necessary. Sorry darling.” Agent 4 put her mask back on. “It’s nothing personal, just needed to know you, is all.”

The Dude groaned, his head slumping to the side as he fell unconscious.

“Ahh... stupid head wound, making me hallucinate again... Not the Colemans... I hate them...”

Agent 4 reached into her pocket, finding nothing.

“No, no no no NOOO! Of all the things to happen… this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!” her teleportation device was missing.

Trevor must have had it.

She looked to where he lay, only to find him gone.

She sighed, and sneaked out of the castle, taking out any alert guards as she went.

‘Great... just perfect.’

Rarity couldn’t believe that she’d gone through all of that dreadful and boring torture only to be stranded afterwards.

“It’s like Budapest again, only this time, David’s not around to save me after I already broke out.”

Going into hiding would be her only option until either they noticed she wasn’t responding or she got her teleportation remote back.





Trevor walked out of the hospital, 500 bits gone from his wallet.

“That... fuck...” He managed to groan out, angry at the sudden attack on his person from the one he was torturing.

At least he took all of her weapons and gadgets off of her person before the sequence began. He now had a ‘Light Pistol’ with a 20 round magazine and Suppressor, a Kukri knife, and Flashbang grenades.

“I wonder if Ammu-Nation now sells these?”

Twilight was trotting through the street, and found Trevor standing outside of the hospital, talking to himself.

“Uh, Trevor, shouldn’t you be, oh I don't know, back at the castle, interrogating the agent?”

“I was, but that fucking Michael-Jackson-bleached-skin bitch with her stupid purple hair-do sent me to this shitty place, and made me look like a fucking moron!”

Twilight recoiled, cringing, and found herself kinda scared by Trevor again.

“Well, do you at least...” She tried to think of a question.

“Know her? Yeah, get the others, we got a surprise to tell you.” Trevor said in a mock-serious tone.

“Okay, but the other eight humans are already gone on their End mission.” Twilight recalled the other half of the group’s mission.

“We can wait for them, I was talking about you horse-faced candy ponies. MOVE!”

Twilight was half-offended, half-scared at Trevor’s outburst, and began to run towards the locations of her friends.

“When I get my fucking hands on her...” Trevor growled, pulling out his Carbine Rifle and walking back to the castle.






-The End, infinity time units after the inception of existence-


To their collective surprise, The End wasn’t some desolate wasteland as most of them had thought.

It was a bustling place of commerce and enjoyment.

Sure the stone was white and the sky was black, but the grass was a nice cheery purply-pink and there were many friendly-looking Endermen walking about, lots of humans too.

“Yeah, I-I-I’d like this Defliberitic Shock Gun atta*URRP*chment please.” A Doc Brown looking man said as he placed the money down on the counter and took a drink from his flask.

“Holy crap... that’s Rick Sanchez.” David noted as the group passed the man by.

“Indeed... The End is a strange, but wonderful place, with equally wonderful people too.” Eduardo said, his voice not distorted by the air of The End.

“How come there are normal people here?” Coach asked.

“Some normal people here are very intelligent people, or come from very advanced civilizations. That person, Rick Sanchez, often comes here, usually to drink and get sciencey objects.” Eduardo said.

“How’d they get here?” Stryker asked.

“Usually through teleporters, often made by the hands of the Endermen, we carve strongholds leading to our wonderful place deep beneath the planet’s surface, one for each universe, inside lays a portal to The End, if one is wise and accepting, they can befriend an Enderman and earn access to the portal, or access directly to The End itself.” Eduardo explained, pointing to the Center Portal in the middle of the town. While it was only a model, it was an example of the beautiful framework of their long-time-in-the-making constructs.

“Yes, it is very breathtaking.” Michael said as he took in the sights. “I wish I could visit the entrance in my world, just to see what it is like.”

“You can get there from here, you know, it is in the Central Teleportation Operations and Management Building, or C-TOMB for short.”

“Where did Endermans come from?” Nikolai asked, having already gone to a liquor store and acquired some more vodka.

“Our origins lie in the womb of the Ender Dragon, she is the mother to all Endermen. Without her, we would not exist to keep order throughout reality, to eliminate the glitches and bugs that occur often in the many universes.”

“Ah... so this world is because of a benevolent dragon. Nice.” Stryker said, smiling.

“Yes, she is benevolent, but cruel. However her cruelty only falls upon evil beings.”

“So, I bet she’ll make Trevor burn if she sees him?” David thought out loud.

“I do not know who this Trevor is.”

“Imagine: Walter White mixed with Jack the Ripper.” Michael summed Trevor up in only seven words.

“With a little Hunter S. Thompson mixed in.” David added

“I see, then he would be disintegrated by her righteous and acidic wrath.” Eduardo led the group to a more elevated area of the city, far fewer houses and buildings were here.

“So, do you know who this Organization is?

“They have stayed away from us thus far, but they are undoubtedly evil by all comparisons, at best they are Chaotic Neutral, which is evil all in itself.” Eduardo gave a bow to the heavily armored guards at the Ender Castle gates, the guards moved their halberds aside and allowed the group entrance.

The inside of the castle was made up of breathtakingly beautiful architecture, made with the trillions of years of time that The End existed, each square inch of it all seemed to be made with the care of a thousand angels' hands.

“Really?” Stryker raised an eyebrow, misunderstanding the alignment spectrum.

“Are you sure? They said some Latin Phrase or something.”

“What is it?”

“Ermmm... let me...” David tried to remember.

“I think it was Pontice calumnia caelum libertatem.” Michael recited, having copied the memory from David's mind.

The group suddenly stopped when Eduardo stopped.

“To Hell with oppression, to Heaven with Freedom? There is only one person I know who would say something like that.” a female voice said.

“Who?” Stryker asked.

“A powerful demon, so powerful, he managed to fight our queen to a standstill with his bare hands alone, a demon named... Damon...” the female voice continued.

“Damon?” Michael inquired, not sure what that named meant.

“He usually uses that name as an alias, usually with the surname ‘Hells’.” the female voice clarified.

“Subtle.” Stryker noted sarcastically.

“Yes, now then, let me introduce myself, I am the Ender Queen.” the female voice was revealed to come from a huge black dragon.

The group noted how her voice was smooth, gentle and sweet, like that of a mother.

“Whatchu know ‘bout...” Coach was silenced by the tip of a wing on his lips.

“Damon... if he’s not against you, is a master at charm and persuasion. Charming, handsome, very deep baritone, well-versed... he’s basically the epitome of human beauty, in and out.” The Queen explained, her voice sounding sad.

“Sounds like you might have had thing for him.” Nikolai said.

“Alas, no, I am no chaser of love or lust, I exist purely as the main protector of all there is.” 

“So, this Damon... when was the last you heard of him?” Michael asked.

“Last I heard of him, he had managed to take over a planet in the year of 2017 in this version of Earth, ‘Earth 216-17’ with a magnificent plan that even the most tactically efficient person would look in shock at.”

“What was the plan?” David asked.

“He basically forcefully killed off the American congress during a major televised event, kidnapped the president, then took over America. The global economy took a turn for the worse as a result, and NATO retaliated. Damon was more than willing to use nuclear warfare to EMP the ships however, then he took over France, England, eventually the Middle East... often from the inside agents he snuck in years before.”

“Jesus...”

“Damon was a very smart individual, and because of that, he managed to overtake the planet. He considered North Korea the cherry on top, as the saying goes.” The Ender Dragon sighed. “That was 10 years ago. To think, he was assassinating major businessmen before this.”

“Okay, so… how do we beat him? That’s the important thing.”

“There is one place where he has no influence, no real physical power, a place where, while his limits are greater than the average being, he is still limited… Earth Alpha, home of the Alpha humans and the center of creation.”

“This Earth Alpha... anything unique about it?”

“All other universes originate from it, all except The Void, The End, and The Great Above. While Earth Alpha creates space, The Great Above guides the Alpha humans to fill the space with life, The Void keeps the truth from escaping, and The End is where all things go to… well.”

“End?” David guessed, grimacing at the thought.

“Yes, now then, Damon’s Organization, he made it with very little creativity, specialists in many types of operations with charts organizing agents. While not creative, it was organized and efficient, Damon was known for simply copying other plans and hashing them together, calling it his own.” 

“So... he takes the best of all plans...” Nikolai mused.

“Indeed. He may not be creative, but he’s no idiot. He knows what works and what doesn’t. He remembered to pack plenty of supplies and attack Russia during the end of Winter.”

“Boize Moi, Mother Russia...” Nikolai said breathlessly.

“Not anywhere near your Russia, I would think. Do not worry, I know his one weakness, he told me on the night he visited me, the only night he ever visited me.”

“What was it?” Michael said.

“His weakness… is blue.”

“So… like… THAT’S NOT VERY HELPFUL! THERE ARE A LOT OF BLUE THINGS!” David rebuked.

“Besides, don’t you think that he could’ve... you know, lied?” Stryker said, thinking it was a trick.

“No, what I mean is, his weakness is the color blue, even his teleporters cannot affect him without using blue light.”

“Wait, he needs blue? That’s fucking stupid.”

“His power comes from red, as part of his demonic biology, blue weakens him, as well as all of his immunities, without blue light, his teleporters would not teleport him, as he would be immune to being teleported.”

“Well... I’ll give that the benefit of the doubt, because it’s equally likely that he lied to you so that if you told... well...” David said, somewhat cynical at this point.

“He left when my Endermen detected the real impact of his sinful acts, while I cannot be sure that he was truthful, I can be sure that he intended to take upon himself a seed of power tuned to the Ender powers by courting me. He will not stop until he has everything. I can grant you something to help you on your way, a set of locations where his Chaos powers have permeated matter, through these areas, you may access another Equestria, where help will be waiting.”

“Sounds good.”

“Yes, thank you, My Liege.” Michael bowed.

“You are welcome, great Guide. One last thing.”

“What is it?” Nikolai asked.

“If and when you go to war on Damon, I will provide for you, my ten best swordsman.”

“WOOOWWWWW, THAT’S TOTALLY NOT USELESS AND OUTDATED!“ Stryker, David, and Nikolai all snarked in unison.

“Indeed it is not." She said with a chuckle, "You know... I think I met three others like you.”

“Wait, what?” David asked.

“Yes... they were... very serious, the fat one was younger and skinnier, and the soldier had a scar across his chest, the red shirted one seemed to be the leader, and had a magician, another swordsman and a mercenary in their party, asking me to set up a base in this city.”

“Wait, why?” Stryker asked.

“I do not know… but you three also seem to doubt the power of my ten best swordsman, let me show you the least of them, he will spar with… HEROBRINE!” The Ender Queen summoned the white-eyed demon-lord.

Herobrine looked at Steve?

Herobrine: hey bro, whasup?

Steve: bro, I haven’t seen you in, like, forever

“You know him?” Michael asked, gesturing to both Minecraftians

Herobrine: ya, he’s my brother, and I’m… well I kinda got blinded as a kid, but I got better, I can see stuff clearly, even with white eyes

“Now that’s kinda... good for you then.” Coach said, not sure what to think. 

Steve: he can be kinda creepy, but he’s a gud guy, wile he’s not much of a survivor, he’s slain the entirety of 14 different Hells by himself.

“WOAH!” David stepped back in awe.

Herobrine pulled out an Obsidian Sword, the purple crystals of the flat glimmering in the light of the castle.

“Obsidian, fragile, but sharp.” Nikolai noted.

“You know what that is?”

“Da... I took lessons.”

An Enderman teleported into the room, clad in gleaming off-white stone armor with a turquoise sword at his waist.

“My Queen!” The swordsman bowed.

“Yes, my subject?”

“There is a report in the Equestria of these six, it seems that one of Damon’s agents is stranded there.”

“Who?”

“One formerly known as Rarity, code-named Agent 4.”  The swordsman revealed.

“Wait... what... I am...” David 404ed and fell backwards.

“Wait, ain’t she some sort of seamstress? Why is she with those agent assholes?” Coach readied his Combat Shotgun, just in case.

“Wait, Agent 4… that name… the Elder Gods found references to that name… wait…” Michael stuttered, recalling the memories through his shock.

“Yes, what is it?” David asked.

Whatever lock had been keeping her a blank had been broken, because new information came through, “Agent 4, Rarity, trained when she accidentally discovered one of the old Assassins of the hidden society in her Equestria at the age of 6. She managed to become one of the best Assassins, while also managing to keep a normal cover life too. She was to attack Damon’s organization... but then his version of... this cannot be!”

“What? What is it?”

“It is...”


*BOOM*


“What the...”

The group ran outside, where The Ender Queen looked in anger.

“They have come.” She angrily revealed as she immediately took flight and let out beastly growl.

“Talk about that later, we need to find out what’s happening!”

“But David, it’s very important, I refuse to have this one line of information go unsaid before the big fight.”

“Listen, you can tell us on the wa-”

“IT’S AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION DAVID!” Michael shouted as they left the castle from the east gate.

“Wait, wha...” David suddenly found himself tackled off the cliff about thirty feet from the west gate, and soon landed on a bale of hay, completely unharmed.

“David, we finally meet.” the newcomer said in a crazy voice.

“What, who are you?”

The blue eyes of the man with the mask looked down upon the human, and he grabbed him by the throat.

“You killed not just one, but two of my agents, and now, you must die.”

David had one last snark before he was crushed, “It was either that, or die by his hands, dude.” The other man tightened his grip on David’s throat, causing him to start choking.

‘David, the words!’

‘Fine Maxwell... feeling pain now.’

“Luces Crueshes Replueces the Puces!” David chanted as steadily as he could.

The larger, stronger man stopped, his arm going limp and letting David go.

White light surrounded him, his mask disintegrating.

‘There we go.’

David stared at his own face, at eyes overflowing with malice and insanity.

‘Ah, so that’s where that part went. Would you like me to introduce you to your new mental roommate then?’

‘What the hell have you done?’ David thought-asked, taking a step back from this alternate him.

“Fuck you… fuck me… fuck you…” David said to the original him, his body burning up in yellow light.

“David, are you-... okay...” Michael found himself stopping at the scene before him.

“No, I’m not… fuck him... fuck me… fuck him…” the alternate David began saying those four words in mantra.

“What the hell?” David muttered quietly.

“Fuck you… fuck me… fuck you… fuck me…” The alternate David’s armor and weapons fell from his body as he was reduced to a floating head, his essence flowing into the original David.

“Oh my God... I think I fucked up...” David said as he felt the essence get closer.

“Fuck David… fuck us…” Condition One said finally as his voice was ripped away from him forever, and his entire being entered the other him.

David grunted and convulsed in pain, his whole body feeling like it was on fire.

‘Hello, my...’

‘GRRRRR!’

‘He’s too stupid to try to take control, he’s literally just malice and insanity… wow…’

‘Fuck you!’

‘If only I could, sadly I don’t have a body.’

‘Hold on, I have you, and me? But… me me?’

‘No, you are you you, he’s just a part of you you, if he’d used the spell, then you would be in his head, and slowly becoming more and more passive as you were assimilated.’

‘My everything hurts, but my brain hurts the most.’

‘Well I don’t have an anything anymore, FUCK, and I’m losing power too… FUCK YOU, ME!’

David convulsed again, finding that his muscles burned like he’d just been spending hours working out.

“Oh... that does not look good at all... And Nikolai seen some nasty shit.” Nikolai grimaced as he saw the man convulse again.

David felt empty, like all of his stomach and midsection was being sucked into a black hole.

‘Soooo… alternate you worked out religiously.’

‘Is that why this hurts so goddamn much?’

‘Partly, the fact is that your muscles are growing stronger and your reflexes are getting sharper, but this is at a pace much quicker than your body can adjust to.’

‘Grahhh...paaain.’

‘Just be glad that your mental state will become even more stable as a result. Do not ask.’

David looked at his hand, which flexed and relaxed about twenty times in three seconds.

“That shit looks painful.” Coach noted.

The holy flames finally finished there fusion, leaving David looking like the end result of the Captain America Super Soldier transformation.

I.E. noticeably bigger, a lot more muscular, shining with sweat, and labored of breath.

He’d grown a mighty height of one inch taller, making him 6’2”.

However, his portly body had melted away into a brassy and muscled form befitting of a Greek god…

...Then of course his skin faded back to a more normal caucasian tone.

“Woah, you are ripped... Nikolai does not like you as much anymore.”

“Wh... what?” David’s ability to speak was still recuperating.

“It seems to be a mental fusion spell. Whatever you did, must have fused your soul with another.” Michael noted.

“I feel… tired, and hungry.” 

Steve: here, i got sum porkchop 4 u 2 et

David accepted the pork chops, and began to eat them ravenously, feeling much better.

‘All that muscle makes you hungrier, after all, muscle burns more calories.’

‘And it… needs…. more fuel...I’m tired…. fuck you guysh... I’m going to bed.’ The angry and hateful voice had degraded into a tired and frustrated drunken-sounding one.

‘Geez, now he’s... pathetic.’

‘It seems that the shock of this transformation as awoken him like a bullet to the brain, in the sense that it will put him to bed forever.’

‘That would be sad, but he tried to kill me, so I’m not really up for feeling bad for him.’

‘Yes, the only way to break free would be strong emotion, and even then, he can never control you directly, just try to influence you.’

‘I see… I can deal with that… hopefully.’

The Ender Dragon landed next to David, sniffing him for evil.

“You are okay, the only evil inside of you is the innate evil that all humans have, which is nothing more than a sustained form of chaos, really. You will be well after a bath and a change of clothes.” the caring Queen evaluated.

Eduardo appeared next to David, grabbing him and holding out his long, thin-fingered hand for the others to grab.

Stryker, Nikolai, Michael, Coach, and Steve? grabbed his fingers, teleporting with him back up to the castle.

*BAMF*

--

*VORP*

Michael kept his eyes open, and saw that, for a few moments, they were on a dirty road.

He locked eyes with a messy-haired man in glasses for a second, one second was all it took for information to come in.

Harry Potter

*BAMF*

--

*VORP*

Suddenly his eyes saw the interior of the Ender Castle again.

The Queen appeared in a miniature tornado of purple sparkles, spinning around and landing gracefully on the ground, curling around the large rock that made up her throne.

“Take him to the cleansing rooms, I suppose he may take the armor and weapons of that human he destroyed.” The Queen commanded.

Eduardo nodded, motioning to Timothy, a nearby servant, to come with him.

Together, the two quickly moved David to another part of the castle.

“As for the rest of you, you may stay here as long as necessary, and I still plan on demonstrating the skills of the least of our swordsman, so that you will have no doubt of their power.” The Queen hummed and looked to the white-clad swordsman, “Drake, you are to spar with Herobrine here.”

Herobrine: 41 hells yeah, oh and by the way, Steve?, 41*

Steve: oh ya, 41*, he’s slain 41 hells

Stryker thought of Scorpion, then of the white-eyed man decapitating him in a second.

That thought alone both gave him chills down his spine and an accurate image of how powerful Herobrine was.

Drake drew his Terminite sword, looking at Herobrine.

Herobrine drew his Obsidian sword, looking at Drake.

The two clashed at high speed, Drake’s armor clattering on itself as he swung at Herobrine head-spinningly fast.

The smiling demon lord swung back with equal force, his muscles were immune to strain, and therefore were able to apply the maximum force they were capable of applying at all times of usage.

After thirty seconds, Herobrine’s advantage of strength wore Drake out, and he landed a hit.

Drake coughed in pain as the Obsidian sword effortlessly sliced through his flesh.

“Now then, you did not struggle or get worn out by any measure, correct Herobrine?” Drake asked, standing up lightning fast.

Herobrine: no

“Now watch the best of us, Zhakal, spar.” Drake disappeared, and another Enderman, this one noticeably thicker than Drake, appeared on the other end of the throne room

Zhakal bowed and pulled out a black sword that gleamed in the light, it was forged from the shedded scales of his queen.

Herobrine took stance again

In a flash, it was over, Herobrine bowed to one knee with Zhakal’s sword in his back, Zhakal himself standing a few feet behind his opponent.

Stryker clapped for Zhakal.

Herobrine: beter get bak 2 Minecraftia now, cya bro

Steve: cya

Herobrine disappeared in a burst of black smoke.

Herobrine has left the game

Zhakal wordlessly disappeared for a second, reappearing with his sword in hand.

“As you can see, you will have the power to stop his minions, but every loss for us is a loss we cannot make up for, whereas Damon can raise a dozen more troops in a week.” The Queen explained, making wide, sweeping gestures to make her point seem clearer.

The five nodded.

“Well, Queen Enderia MCMXCIX, or 1999 for short, we can stay for a short period of time, but we must return soon.” Michael accepted, bowing.

“You have the powers of knowledge gain, you must be Michael the Guide, it is a pleasure to meet you.” 

“The pleasure is all mine, so… fellows, I guess… do whatever you want, but we have to go home when we get David back.”

“Nikolai has vodka, can go home now.” The drunk man said while drinking from a fresh, cold bottle of vodka, the liquid going down his throat smoothly and warming his gut in the pleasantly cool air of the palace.

“I can take you to your own world, Nikolai, but I would not think you desiring to return there.” a servant informed, stepping over from the side of the room.

“Nikolai wants his friends, and not Nazi Zombies, Nikolai will go back to Equestria.” Nikolai followed the servant to the C-TOMB.

Stryker looked at Drake, “Hey, mind if we have a little Kombat?”

“It is no problem, grab my hand, we will spar in the arena, it is enchanted to prevent death, but only if the death occurs in the room, it is safe, blessed by the Elder Gods themselves.” by the time Drake had finished his statement, he and Stryker were already in the room and in positions.

“So… can I get, like, a burger or something, some nice meat food, all I’ve had for the past six months is ration bars, some crackers, and some pie yesterday.” Coach asked, fixing his glove on his hand and putting away his Combat Shotgun.

Another servant collected him, leading him to a restaurant in the city.

Steve? pulled out his Diamond sword and made a blocking motion.

Steve: armory?

A guard led him to the armory, making sure he didn’t try any funny business.

Michael led himself to the library, taking it the sight of countless great minds’ faces upon the ceiling, the floor covered in an infinitely ornate ritual circle.

The Guide took out his four spellbooks, Golden Flames, Crystal Storm, Necrotic Magic Missile, Demon Scythe, and laid them on the floor.

He collected the half’n’half opposites of them.

Tainted Flames, toxic-green in color and burning things in a tainting inferno, as opposed to the cleansing inferno of the Golden Flames.

Arrow Storm, a natural wonder countered by a manufactured horror.

Radiant Magic Missile, a bright yellow bolt of energy rather than a dark gray one.

Angel’s Axe, a bouncing axe that rains down from the sky, its broad, double-headed blades are sure to cut open even the hardiest of those undead fools.

He thought about David as the information of the rest of the books in the library flowed into his head.

“So the alternate David is now only a part of our David’s mind, and now he has double the armaments… but what good does this do us if our enemy still attacks from the shadows? They all can appear out of nowhere, and we have no way of taking the fight to them. Our cause is lost without a truer knowledge, knowledge more exact and accurate.” He looked at the ceiling.

The great minds’ faces were, as it turned out, the faces of the Elder Gods.

Michael laid on the floor and said a prayer, folding his hands over his heart.

“Our great watchers, who art in The Great Above, hallowed be thy names, thy kingdoms come, thy wills be done, in universe, as they are in The Void.” His breathing got ragged, his chest pounding, “Deliver us this day, our daily life, and forgive our cheats, as we forgive those who cheat against us.” he paused, barely able to breathe under the weight of the air, “Lead us not into foolishness, and deliver us from Evil. For all is thine kingdom, befit for your power, and your glory… forever and ever… press-start.” 

And then Michael had a heart attack.






-The Great Above, infinity time units relative to the inception of existence-


Michael’s eyes adjusted instantly to the holy light that illuminated both The End as well as The Great Above.

His eyes locked with the infinitely wise blue eyes of a man with long red hair that draped over the right side of his head, he was clad in a green and yellow toga.

This was Google the Wise, in his ‘Chrome’ outfit.

“The great Google the Wise, it is an honor to meet the only one with more knowledge capabilities than myself.” Michael bowed before the honorable monk-figure.

“Indeed, I am Google, and I know one thing that is exactly what you search for, young guide, there are two who will give you what you search for, the answer.” Google pulled up two images.

A pair of facial-photos taken of two young-looking men.

One looked like David, but slightly slimmer, clad in a worker’s uniform, with darker hazel eyes, darker brown hair, and slightly tanner skin.

The other had short brownish-blond hair, sharp green eyes, silvery-rimmed glasses, and was wearing a business suit. Poking up from his left shoulder was the top half of a feminine face, the young woman had curious and playful bright green eyes and long, smooth, rich brown hair, this was most-likely the man’s girlfriend.

“These two… they are Alpha Humans.” Michael’s information gathering stopped there.

“Indeed, and they have the power to help you, for they can unlock great power that you would not think possible.” Google informed, “But beware, your enemy, Damon, will wish to turn them to his side. If they turn on you, then you will stand no chance against him.”

“But I was informed that Alpha humans were ‘Always Neutral’ beings, that they didn’t really take sides, only make them and fight for them.”

“But is fighting for a side not also taking up that side, accepting it into one’s being as it accepts one?” 

“I suppose it is… thank you Google, I shall keep my eyes open.” Michael vowed.

“And sometimes… keep your mouth shut.” Google added, pointing at Michael’s mouth and giving him a boop on the lips.

Michael felt weightless at the monk’s touch, and his vision went white.






-The End, infinity time units after the inception of existence-


David slowly awoke to the smell of flowers and fruit, feeling soft, supple hands washing his face, chest, hair, and back.

He opened his eyes, wondering if he’d awoken in some sort of anime-style spa with giggly spa ladies scrubbing him clean.

Rather, he found a quartet of black-skinned faces with piercing purple eyes towering above him, staring down scrutinizingly.

“AH! I DIDN’T WANT ALIEN ABDUCTION! SOMEONE WAKE ME UP!!!” he was convinced that he was dreaming.

‘Calm down David, you went out cold in a puddle of your own sweat, the Endermen are cleaning you up so that you don’t get any sort of nasty hygiene ill-effects, like irritated skin, rashes, or acne.

‘Maxwell? I guess that wasn’t just an extended dream after all, shit…’

'No, it was not, you jointed a piece of yourself back into your main self, both putting it under your control and giving your body an upgrade, you’re now very muscular, but maintaining this musculature will require more fuel and lots of exercise, which you will find to be a lot easier than you previously would have thought.’

'Yeah yeah yeah, don’t lecture me, what’s up with these alien things?’

‘Endermen.’

‘Oh yeah, right, that whole process.’

“David, are you alright?” The Enderman washing his face and chest asked.

“Uh… yeah, yeah, I’m alright, just sorta… forgot where I was for a minute.”

“Ah, a common trauma response, to think that something was a dream, it is alright David, the Endermen are above the act of judging others.” The Enderman washing his back explained.

David sighed irritatedly, rolling his eyes and smelling the flowers and fruit scent of the soap.

Lavender and grapes, no wonder the castle seemed to smell so nice, if this was its scent.

His whole body felt clean, his senses were sharper, he could hear someone walking in from the hall.

“David, you’re awake, good.” Michael greeted, humming at the delectable smell of the bathhouse.

“Yeah, so… anything new?”

“I have, in my repertoire, four new spells, Tainted Flames, Arrow Storm, Radiant Magic Missile, and Angel’s Axe. Coach has acquired his food. Stryker is sparring with Drake, the tenth of the ten best swordsman. Nikolai is drinking in the park, Steve? is building tools and repairing the armor of the alternate you for you to wear. You… well I’m sure you know of your state, you were filthy in your own body’s secretions, you even uncontrolledly pissed and shit your pants out of shock.”

“Wow, thanks, nice to know.” David snarked, sitting up and shooing the Enderman bathers away.

“I am merely recalling things in their entirety, and the armor seems to have some sort of transformative properties as well, I will need to examine it further, but it’s name is the ‘Divine Avenger’ armor, it is infused with both magic and technology… like I said, more information will be given to you when it is available.” Michael stepped out of the room, allowing David some time to dry off and get dressed.

The athletic-bodied man stretched out, feeling his joints pop and crack and his veins open up, warming his body.

He stretched out one leg, and almost slipped and fell, but caught himself with speed that he didn’t have before.

He felt more alive, better as a person, more wholesome.

Drying off with a large, warm, soft towel, he wrapped it around his waist and stepped out into the hall.

One of the bathers was standing outside, and led him a dozen feet down the hall to a dressing room, where his cleaned-up clothes were waiting.

With his (now slightly oversized) red shirt, khaki pants, and underclothes replaced, he found himself being led to the armory.

The room had cold water pipes lining the walls and making up the stands on which most weapons and armor were held, the cold metal absorbing most of the air’s heat, leaving the area cool and comfortable.

Steve? was in the corner, standing in front of a large wooden cube, completely solid and about three feet in all dimensions, on the top was a small field of gray particles that Steve? seemed to be manipulating.

“Uh, hey Steve?, Michael said you have something for me?” 

Steve: ah, David, ya I do, here, beter thn leth nd iron armr

Steve? tossed the suit, which had had a single pair of holes, one in the front, one in the back, in it, but was now perfectly fine.

David tentatively opened it and put it on.

It fit perfectly, no-doubt because it was made special for the other him, who had the exact same figure as he had now.

A parchment-colored underarmor was first, the shirt and pants were both made of a material that was soft and smooth on the inside, tough and rough on the outside.

Then came an armor shirt with elbow-length sleeves and armor pants with calf-length legs, made of a laminate of carbon fiber weave and pressurized nano-carbon plates, offering him the hardness of diamonds and the cushion of leather. 

A pair of MP5s, fully loaded with subspace magazines that apparently held thousands of rounds, was the ‘heavy’ weapon of the arsenal extension.

The ‘light’ weapon of the extension was a S&W 500, which would be unbelievably powerful when used in the right hands.

No melee weapon, but then again, he had his bastard sword, and the other him had armor, so that made sense in a 'balancing' sort of way.

On his wrists and ankles were a pair of muscle-numbing bracelets and anklets, which Steve? informed him numbed him because they were injecting him with non-biotoxic antiseptics and anti-toxins, preventing disease and poisoning.

Then came metal-plated dark-gray-dyed leather gloves, with red runes on the backs of the palms, Michael identified the runes as light spells.

“So now I have flashlight hands?”

“Only when turning your fist to where the back of it faces outwards.” Michael explained.

“Cool, is it red light?”

“Unfortunately, yes, yes it is.” 

Then came the boots, which were the same dark-gray-dyed leather as his gloves, but these had pale green runes on the soles.

“A sort of asian-influenced magical coloration, this is wind magic, it allows for a double jump with a flick of the ankles, and they can maintain fifteen seconds of flight with another flick, they also slow your falling by half the speed.” Michael explained. 

“Good thing I have some super-reflexes now.” David said, feeling more and more like some sort of video game character.

Finally, the mask, which had dissolved into tiny squares and was put back together again by Steve?.

Of course, Steve? had put it back together a bit oddly.

“An Anonymous mask?” David asked, confused, as he was sure that this wasn’t what he’d seen on the other him’s face.

Steve: it semed like it was sposd to be dat, dont juge me

“I am not judging you, Steve?, but I must question your thought process with this.” Michael said, as he looked at the moustache of the face.

Steve: fine, I’ll remake it

Steve? grabbed the mask out of David’s hand and put it back in the crafting table.

It came out as a simple, black mask in the shape of a smooth, flawless face, lacking features such as cheek bones, the depressions where the eye sockets were, or even a chin, it was hauntingly sleek and emotionless.

The only detail on the face was a pale blue rune in the shape of a cross with a yellow set of letters, a D on the left arm, a V on the right arm, an A in the center, an O on the top, and a C on the bottom. Now this was almost the exact same mask that the alternate David had been wearing, the only difference was that the positioning of the O and the C were switched on the original.

David then thought about what the other him might have actually been.

“Is there anything to turn my eyes blue?”

“You’re eyes are… well they’re brown right now.” Michael informed.

“Hazel, but I need them to be blue, undercover stuff might be a good idea at this point.”

Steve? went into sneaking stance and got really close to David’s face.

Steve: nah dude ur eyes r brown

“We need a man on the inside though, looking up what our enemies might have.” Michael proposed, looking at his friend-dressed-as-enemy.

David pushed Steve away, “Can I get a mirror?”

Michael held up a Magic Mirror he’d found in the Crystal Castle in a secret storage room, positioning it in front of David’s face.

David found that, indeed, his eyes were brown, with a hint of blue and a hint of hazel in them, a mix of his own eye color and the other him’s eye color.

“Cool and all, but I need them to be all blue.”

“I can fix that, with a little… PAH!” Michael grabbed Steve? and gave him a pinch on the arm.

Steve? winced, then felt like someone was invading his internet connection.

Michael pulled out a gray screen, showing an image of David with several characteristics listed and slots with things in them.

He jumped up and selected a tab labeled Physical Appearance.

He selected Eyes and changed the color swatch from brown to blue.

David looked at himself and found that his eyes were the same cold blue color as his other self’s were.

“Easy as an inventory editor.” Michael smiled, putting away the screen.

“Uh… nice… now can we get back to the Crystal Kingdom?”

“Alright, but first we must gather the others, and your armor has a contingency spell, which has been cursed to be unidentifiable, but it still must be applied.”

“You can take that contingency then, Michael, I trust you, and plus: if the agent me was using the contingency thing, then it can’t have been bad..” David said, not knowing that he was actually applying a powerful holy spell to his ally without even considering the consequences.






-In the Ender Valley Public Park-


Nikolai looked at the beautiful nature around him, loving the lack of gray and brown of boring, dull Earth.

Purplish-pink grass, a bright rainbowy-black sky, rich dark-turquoise trees with magenta leaves.

And of course, vodka.

Michael Hermes-Boots-rushed into the walled-off area of the park, quickly locating Nikolai.

“Nikolai, comrade, we must go back to the Crystal Kingdom, time is of the essence!” he called out.

“Okay… Nikolai will go back to shiny crystal pony place then… can Nikolai catch up with you in a bit? This place is pretty.”

“As long as you aren’t late, that will be fine.” Michael turned and ran to the C-TOMB.

Nikolai watched as the all-knowing man left, then sighed, stood up, cracked his joints, and began walking out of the park.






-At the All-you-can-eat-Eats restaurant-


“This man is a black hole!” One of the Enderman said in a mix of surprise and panic.

Coach was on his fifth hamburger when the strange man from earlier burst into the restaurant.

“Coach, time to go, Organization stuff or whatever!” David called out.

Coach cleaned his face with the rest of his hamburger, stuffed it in his mouth, then stood up and followed David out.

“Alright, let’s go man.” he said, pulling out his Combat Shotgun.

“Yeah, by the way, this is a cover, I’m going undercover.” David motioned to his new armor.

“Oh, alright then… uh… you... scumbag... Organization... agent guy... eh, I got nothin'.” Coach wasn’t really sure how to ‘act natural’ in this situation.

“For me, I suppose I’ll go attack Trevor, never really found the guy to be... well...”

“Nope, he’s not well at all.” Coach knew what David was talking about, half a conversation with Trevor told him all he needed to know.

“So it’s only natural that I’d go on his ass to make a good cover. He won’t suspect a thing.” David smirked at the thought.

“He also might blow your ass sky-high though, so make sure to dodge.”

“I’m now a muscly, nimble, and reflexive soldier with three guns that have bottomless magazines, I’ll manage.”

“Okay, I’ll be at that C-TOMB place when ya need me.” The portly man assured, following one of the Enderman guides to the building.

“Well, that might be soon enough.” The formerly-portly man replied to nobody, testing out his new athletic and acrobatic capabilities by climbing up the restaurant’s outer wall and making his way across the city via the rooftops.






-In the Royal Enderia Training Room: Sparring Section-


Stryker brought up his arm, finally managing to block three consecutive hits from Drake.

“Impressive for a normal human, most cannot block one, let alone three strikes from poor little me.” Drake commended, joking on himself.

“I’ll say it’s impressive when I get four.” Stryker spat back, flexing and preparing for another volley.

“It is nice to see a human’s capacity for greed put to a more noble use, now EN GARDE!” Drake shot forward.

*PLAP, PLEP* The fleshy sound was the sound of Drake being knocked out of the arena by Steve?’s Diamond sword, which was enchanted with Sharpness III and Knockback II.

Steve: tym 2 go.

“Hold on, just let me get to four, okay?”

Steve: alryt, u get 4, then we go

Drake nodded swung hard, slashing several times in only a few seconds.

Stryker blocked the blade four consecutive times, then was struck in the chest by the fifth hit.

Steve: alryt, tym 2 go

“Hold on, just let me get to five, okay?”

Steve: u said 4 last time, not 5, cmon

“Can you just let me get to five? I know I can do this.” Stryker insisted.

Steve: & i can do dis

Steve? pulled out a lead, attaching it to Stryker by craftily wrapping it around his waist, then he pulled on it.

The officer was tugged backwards, and looked at the larger man.

Steve: no mor tranin tym 4 u, tym 2 go

“Fine, I can walk on my own, by the way.” Stryker pointed out matter-of-factly.

Steve: y u bein an ass alluva sudden?

“I just… *sigh* I just want to get better, for one, it’s like everyone keeps leaving me behind, first Lee, then Trevor, then Michael, then you, and I’m sure that David can probably outrun me now, and Nikolai… well okay Nikolai is fine there.” 

Steve: Maybe, but u have somethin teh others dont hav

“And what is that?”

Steve: the law, u hav the law on ur syd, imagine havng comands 4 urself… do u kno wat comands do?

“Um… what?” Stryker was confused by this half-minded sounding explanation.

Steve: try turning yourself to creative mode

“Uh… what?”

Steve: type /gamemode creative

“Uh….” Stryker thought on this...

Kurtis_Stryker: /gamemode creative

Steve: no luk… try sumthin els

Kurtis_Stryker: /gamemode kombat

Steve: nutin, try agin

Kurtis_Stryker: uh… well shit… um

Kurtis_Stryker: /gamemode crystalpony?

Suddenly, Kurtis felt like his bones were breaking, and his skin stretched out, then in.

When the feelings faded away, he found himself standing on all fours and looking at Steve’s legs.

Steve: Mojang, we hav a problem

Stryker was now a light blue pegasus pony, where a coat of fur would normally be, he instead had a stiff, crystalline hide, and a swept-back brown mane like Ryan Gosling, his SWAT armor had been replaced with sapphire-carved heavy-duty Riot Police armor, complete with newer, better weapons.

Overall, he looked fancier and more powerful than before.

Kurtis_Stryker: um….

Kurtis_Stryker: /gamemode kombat?

His body broke and resized itself, turning back into human form with his normal SWAT gear and everything.

Kurtis_Stryker: /gamemode pony

He turned back into a pony shape, but was normal this time, with a light police-blue coat, brown mane, his hat and SWAT gear unchanged except in shape in order to fit his pony body.

He was still a pegasus, however.

Steve: I guess u can fly around?

“Seems like it, this is… wow… I’d never get left behind with these puppies.” Stryker wiggled his wings, ruffling the feathers.

Experimentally, he jumped into the air and began flapping them, finding that they started flapping at a hovering pace automatically.

Steve: graphic avansd, but the animtn’s just a justification 4 creative mode flyn

Stryker noted that, indeed, he didn’t seem to need to learn how to fly, just how to jump and flap his wings right after.

Steve? pulled him down and climbed on his back.

Steve: 2 the C-TOMB place now

Stryker felt slightly heavier, and was quite surprised by Steve?’s odd lack of weight when riding him.

Still, he followed an Enderman guide below to the C-TOMB.






-In the C-TOMB-


“Yes, welcome to the Central Teleportation Operations and Management Building, I’ll get you to your Equestria world again.” Eduardo explained, straightening his ‘Bugs and Glitches Police’ badge and holding out his hands.

Michael, David, Nikolai, Coach, Stryker, and Steve? grabbed onto his hands, ready to teleport.

“Okay, here we go.” Eduardo prepared to teleport.

*BAMF*






-Universe: Equestria Iota-2, Location: The Crystal Kingdom, Time: Day 1 of the PSR (post-Sombra-return) era, Weather: kinda warm-


*VORP* Eduardo and the group appeared in a less active area of the city, luckily this area was quite close to the castle.

“Wait, that’s it?” Coach asked, unsure of this.

*grackle, layak, hoowup.* Eduardo’s speech was once again distorted by the air of the Crystal Kingdom.

“Yes, thats it, no catch, no strings attached.” Michael translated, glad to be back.

“I expected more, like a whole ‘we can’t go back until we flip the power switches’ or whatever sort of bullshit sidequest thingy.” David said, looking around.

“Yeah.” Stryker agreed.

“The Ender teleport is both simple and effective, the Endermen perform it perfectly and are absolutely consistent with their perfection of it, there is never flaw nor mishap. In short, there was nothing to worry about.” Michael assured.

“Comrade is right.” Nikolai confirmed.

“Alright, I’mma go look for Trevor, keep away.” David said as he began to climb up the building wall.

“Damn, he gonna fuck something up, that’s for sho’.” Coach said.

“Hey, you guys are back!” Lee yelled out as he walked up to the group, having spotted them while trying to find that Diamond Bottle place. “Where’s David?”

“Oh, he’s... missing. He might have not made it through on the way back.” Michael lied, needing to plant the seeds of the illusion.

“Oh… damn… well I hope you guys find him, he's a good guy.” Lee frowned in sadness, walking away from the group.

Stryker decided to regroup with Dovahkiin and see what else had been going on while they were gone.

“Nikolai will look for Albert. I will check police station.” Nikolai decided to walk back.

Michael nodded and looked at the other humans in the group.

Steve: u tink David wil be ok?

“I hope so, Steve?, I hope so.” Michael said, knowing that the question was actually about David’s ruse, not his ‘lost on the way back’ status.





David hopped from rooftop to rooftop, looking for any sign that Trevor was in the near-by area.

And then he noticed a woman, trying to stop some minor bleeding from multiple wounds in her body.

‘Wha... is that...’

‘David, he’s reacting. Whoever that person is, he knows her. Maybe you can help her?’

‘Thanks Maxwell.’ David slowly walked up to the woman, and then noticed that she had some sort of pure white skin, or fur.

“Agent 4?” David spoke, hoping he was right.

“CO? What took you so long, did you get Blue Comet?” Agent 4 asked, remembering her partner's mission in Iota 1.

‘Umm, guess?’

“Eh~... no, I was ambushed by the others.”

“All six of them? Really?”

“He’s an impressive fighter, and even I couldn’t have taken on… thirteen enemies all at once.” David guessed, factoring in the alternate Equestria’s Mane 6 and the other group as he began to examine her injuries.

“My God, you look like shit.”

“So did Trevor.”

“Wait, he actually beat you up?” David feigned surprise very well.

“Tortured.”

“Not again.” David improvised.

“Geez, thanks for the words of encouragement.”

“Maybe you should stop being cocky, and start actually paying attention.” David took a random syringe and jammed it into her leg, hoping that it was a healing serum and not a deadly poison, as killing his partner didn’t seem like something the other him would do.

“I think I’m starting to gain an immunity to this stuff.” Rarity snarked as she felt the relieving chemicals of the healing serum flow through her body.

“Stop whining and get up, we’re kidnapping Trevor.”

“Wait, what abo-”

“I saw David and the others, but then the Ender Dragon came. I had to run. Luckily I took his weapons and I may have managed to kill him while I ran away, I also stopped to steal this thing.” David showed the mare the purple torch he’d received from one of the Enderman Monks, then he put it away and slung her over his arm, carrying her around.

“Gee, you’re quite a professional.” Agent 4 sarcastically snarked from behind his shoulder.

“Those humans are easy. The Ender Dragon is a death sentence. Damon barely survived his battle with it.” He guessed, getting angry at the thought of Damon and his asshole ways.

“Tell me about it. Why are you so angry at me?”

“Because I care for you.” David tried to cover up his internal anger, and found that his lie was surprisingly easy to say, as though it wasn’t even a lie at all...

“I know that, but why do you care for me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” He asked, hoping that she’d either get shocked into not talking, or get completely distracted by his response.

‘Don’t you dare steal her from me, you bitch!’

‘Oh my, love is in the air. I wish Charlie was here.’

‘FUCK YOU!’

‘Both of you, shut it!’

“Y-you...” Rarity blushed, thankful that David couldn’t see her face right now.

“Come on, we got work to do, we’ll talk later, in private.” David ran across the street, finding himself near the Crystal Castle.

“It’s where I escaped.” Agent 4 remarked, rubbing her stomach where the T-shaped incision had been made.

David saw the other humans, two dragons, and eight ponies gather around, then walk into the castle doors.

“I think we should wait until dark.” David said.

“Good idea, you always played it safe during these moments.” Agent 4 replied, feeling completely healed by now due to the highly advanced healing serum.

‘CRRK’ His radio crackled to life as someone tried to contact him.

“Yes?” David spoke into the comm, hoping that this wasn’t a trick.

“Boss, this is O.R.A. #4. It seems that Group 935 is involved in this, Wilson has a Wunderwaffe DG-2.” A deep male voice, obviously disguised to keep the identity a secret, spoke suddenly.

David paused for several seconds, thinking of how to respond to that.

“Erm... care to remind me which one that was?” He covered, hoping that his request wouldn’t raise suspicion.

“It’s the lightning gun. The shorter englishman built it himself, crazy as a bat.”

“Keep an eye on him, he’s likely dangerous and insane.” 

“Yeah, like Deadpool.”

“Copy, over and out.” David hung up on the comm.

“Who was that?” Agent 4 asked.

“One of the recon agents, Wilson has a Wunderwaffe.” David relayed, not sure what that report had to do with his own group’s problems.

“Great, First Nikolai has one, now the insane one.” Rarity was, of course, referring to Wilson, not Deadpool, because if Deadpool had it, then 

“*Sigh* Nothing’s easy for us anymore, right?”

“Yeah, Wayzer gets killed by a rookie, I get caught by an Assassin, Blue Comet turns on me, a Reconnaissance agent and a Guerilla agent died, the latter from shredding, the former from suffering...”

“You got tortured by a meth addict with potential mommy issues...”

“And those idiots failed to get the Dovahkiin to turn to our side.”

“At least our plan B’s in effect.”

“Yes, we’ve located the first Alpha in Studio City, and other is in a border town in the four-state area, I can’t believe his location wasn’t obvious from the start.”

“Perfect, tell them to send extraction teams at nightfall.”

“Sounds like a plan. Also... David.”

“Yes Rarity?” David asked.

“Thank you.”

David felt a warm and fuzzy feeling in his gut, “You’re welcome.” He said with a smile.

‘She’s mine, you will not steal her from me.’

‘He’s posing as you. He might even make love to her. Does tha...’

‘SHUT UP, YOU 19TH CENTURY CUNT!’

‘Maxwell, I’ll play dubstep if you don’t stop teasing the prisoner.’

‘You wouldn’t dare!’

‘I got Datsik, Skrillex, and Alvin Risk ready to blast out loud, maybe some Knife Party too, and I can always set it to shuffle on the Electronic music genre.’

'Don't you DARE, electronic ain't got nothin' on rock, country, and metal!'

'Wow, you really are my opposite, BUT I'LL STILL PLAY IT TO PISS BOTH OF YOU OFF!'

‘Alright, you win!'

‘Much better.’ David leaned against Rarity, and sighed.

‘What am I doing?' David thought as he felt something new inside him grow warm and strong.





‘What am I doing?’ Lee thought as he nearly stumbled off of the edge of a three-story building.

His vision was getting hazy, his stomach was empty, sending out hunger pangs, he needed something to eat, and soon.

He managed to leap to the castle, climbing up through a window that had some bars on it, which he was able to squeeze through.

Inside was Albert’s cell, the inmate had been stripped of his weapons, but luckily not of his clothes, and had been sitting on the bed writing on the wall.

“Albert?”

“Lee? Oh… hey, how’d you get in?” Albert asked, feeling uncomfortable with the grayish-brown-skinned man standing over him.

“I slipped through the bars on the window, if you’ll excuse me, I need some food, I’ll see you later.” Lee turned sideways and slipped through the main cell bars with ease.

“Hey, I’m hungry too, I only got about down to that crystal pony’s neck before they cuffed and stuffed me.” The ex-ex-convict pointed out.

“Is that why you were arrested? Because you got hungry and killed someone to eat them?” Lee was instantly reminded of walkers.

“Yeah, I mean, wouldn’t you, if it came down to it?”

“I… that’s… listen, how about I tell you what happened to me? I went through a zombie apocalypse. Everyone was infected, so no matter how you died, if you didn’t destroy the head, you would turn and come back. Eating people was the big crazy thing there, and I got bitten, I think the virus’s influence gets stronger if I don’t eat, so if you’ll excuse me...” Lee turned and walked down the hall to punctuate his sentence.

“Hey, can you help me break out of here?” Albert requested, grabbing the bars.

“Just do what I did if you want to!” Lee called back, walking to the kitchen.

Weasel looked at the bars, then turned sideways and slipped through them.

“I’ve been in here all night! The fuck?! I could’ve done that the whole fucking time?” He angrily exclaimed, kicking the bar, then grabbing his foot in pain and hopping around.

He slipped and crashed against the bars of the cell opposite his, making a loud *CRACK* sound as the bars snapped out of the wall.

“OH COME ON! THIS PRISON IS SHIT!” Albert frustratedly yelled as he groaned and sat up.

His head finally hit something, something stiff and muscly.

He looked up to see the muzzle of Shining Armor frowning down at him.

Within a second, Albert was lifted up in a magenta bubble and levitated beside Shining.

“You’ve gotten out of your cell just in time for your interrogation.” The white stallion snapped.

“You can just ask me here, y’know…” 

“Well then, Question 1: why did you do it?”

“I was hungry and frustrated at going through hell and back, I was hungry enough to eat a horse… or crystal pony in this case.”

“Pleading desperation, while earning you some sympathy, will not hold up in court, neither will insanity.”

“Well, just do some maaaagiiiiiic and see what happened from my perspective.” Albert sneered, spitting on the barrier.

The wad of spit bounced back and splattered onto his pants.

Shining’s horn brightened, and the spell was cast.

Albert felt electricity arc down his spine, then he blacked out.

Shining Armor collapsed, the spell taking effect as he was told everything about Albert that had happened over the past year.

It was a lot.






-The Next Day, in District: Codename ‘Crystal Crush’-


With the crystal ponies made aware again and now focusing on rebuilding their city, there was a large area, about an eighth of the whole kingdom, that was decrepit and unusable.

Either shattered to shit or overgrown with more crystals, several hundred houses and buildings were in need to repairs.

In one of the many abandoned buildings, David and Agent 4 had taken residence after a long, cold night.

David awoke with a groan as his eyes were flooded with light, the crystal walls reflecting the sun’s rays perfectly towards his eyes.

He took a second to recall that yesterday actually happened, then looked to his side.

To his surprise, Agent 4 was quite beautiful when asleep, her expression peaceful and even a bit happy, as opposed to the hard, snarky, super-focused expression she wore when awake.

Standing and stretching, the brown-haired man yawned, removed his mask and looked at it again.

It was just a smooth, textureless black face, the yellow and blue rune on the forehead was the only thing that broke the smoothness of the surface.

Putting it on again, he looked back at Agent 4, it would be too suspicious if he left her alone.

Getting down on his knees, he shook her gently.

Agent 4 was awake in an instant, looking at her ally.

“*yawn* So, how many miles did you run before you decided to wake me up?” She asked mockingly.

“Uh… waking you up was… well... the first thing I did.” He clarified, helping her up.

“Oh… well… thank you.” Rarity turned away from him, blushing slightly at sentimental thoughts, but then pushing them away and turning back to him, “Well come on, we need to get the brutish Trevor and get my weapons back, while my hands are quite efficient at killing things, they can be quite loud when my target hits something, or they scream, and this Micro-SMG isn’t suppressed at all.”

“Yeah… I know, come on, I think I might know where he is.” David led the way to the roof.

“Shouldn’t we at least nourish ourselves first?” Rarity asked, a ration pack in her hand.

“Alright, chew it, gulp it, chug it, come on.” David nommed down the mostly-dry food and drank the hydrating blue fluids provided in the pack, then led the way by taking a running start and jumping across the street, landing in the second story of the broken building, where a surprise lay.

“What the fuck?” Trevor had come out here to smoke in peace, and now some agent-looking guy was in his face.

“Target Blazed Hair, both a pleasure and a misfortune to meet you.” David improvised, having not expected this so soon.

Agent 4 jumped into the room, punching Trevor hard, knocking him into the wall.

“Oh FUCK YOU, YOU’RE THAT ESCAPEE BITCH!” Trevor pulled out a machete.

Agent 4 lashed out the Micro-SMG, but it was immediately knocked out of her hands by Trevor’s wild swing.

David gave Trevor a jab to the side, knocking him away from 4.

Trevor pulled out his Carbine Rifle and started firing randomly at the two, hitting Rarity a few times and David several more.

The heavy-set man grunted in pain and pulled out his bastard sword, swinging it hard down on Trevor’s right shoulder and hitting bone.

“Oh YOU KILLED MY FRIEND! FUCK YOU!” Trevor pulled out Dual Combat Pistols and fired at both of them.

David dodged the aiming zone and came back with a S&W500 to the side.

Trevor was blown back by the shot, collapsing onto the wall.

He wasn’t dead yet, and used his Combat Shotgun to shoot Agent 4 again.

Agent 4 jumped high into the air and brought her foot down with a fatal stomp to Trevor’s head as payback for yesterday, cracking his skull and killing him yet again.


WASTED


David looked at the cracked walls, and noticed something very, very bad.

C4 packets were stuck to the floor, walls, and ceiling.

“OUT! NOW!” He jumped out of the front of the building.

“What? OH SHI-” 


*BOOM*


The building exploded into a shower of crystal shards and ashes.

David and Agent 4 kicked off some debris and quickly ran off.

“Why’d you kill him?” David half-yelled.

“He’ll be fine, he’s died before.” Rarity replied, clearly annoyed.

“Interrogation?”

“Yep.”

David sighed and found himself face to face with The Dude.

“Hi there.” The Dude had a sawed-off double barrel pointing towards his chest.

“Oh, you must be target Postal.” David said, quickly slapping the gun away before The Dude fired.

Agent 4 then kicked him away, and he then took out a Machine Gun.

He fired, but the duo quickly jumped into an abandoned warehouse and ran off.

“Great, he’s here.” Agent 4 complained.

“He helped Trevor?”

“What do you think?”

“Sounds like you had a fun afternoon without me.” David snarked.

“Cheeky bastard.”

David stopped, and looked at Agent 4 in the eyes.

“Listen, there is a psycho after us, and Trevor might end up telling the others after his run in. Compound that to what he learned from your ‘fun-time’ with him, and we may need to bail, so shut-up, move quietly, and keep an eye out for any more assholes like him. Got it?”

Agent 4 kept quiet, then spoke.

“Loud and clear.”

“Good, move!”

The two ran off, and it was clear that their cover was blown, again.





Applejack just couldn’t believe it.

“Trevor just cannot be right, but he’s done no lyin’. Maybe Ah should talk ta Rares, maybe she’s...”

*sob sob sob*

Applejack had heard that, and went to go look at it.

It was Rarity, in her guest room, crying her eyes out, a half-empty bottle of what appeared to be absinthe right next to her.

“Rarity?”

Rarity gasped, and tried to hide the bottle, but fumbled around, and the bottle soon broke all over the floor.

“Oh, dammit.” Rarity sniffled at the spilt liquor, tears still pouring from her eyes, and trotted back to the bed.

“Rarity, what was that?”

“That is something to keep the edge off, you want to know why?"

“Well-”

“Because that person, whom Trevor interrogated, was MEEE~! My own flesh and blood, from another universe, ready to murder somepony here, and she... she... I just refuse to believe that she could even be me!”

“Rarity, are ya drunk?” Applejack noted that Rarity was a bit wobbly.

“Oh Applejack, wouldn’t you get drunk if you learnt something like this?”

Applejack scratched the back of her neck and got a bemused look.

“Ah suppose.”

“Yes.”

“Still, I wouldn’t’ve guessed that y’all would choose, oh, Ah dunno, absinthe, of all drinks, ‘stead of, ya know, wine or mixed drinks or somethin’.”

Rarity perked up, and glared at the mare.

“Applejack, please get out, now. I vant to be alOOOne!” Rarity’s posh accent switched to half Germane, half Stedish for that second sentence.

Applejack nodded, left the room, and closed the door. Rainbow Dash then came up to the mare.

“Hey AJ, how’s Rarity?”

“‘Part from the fact that she might have a drinkin’ problem that we don’ know ‘bout, she’s pretty beat up from that pony-human gal Trevor told us 'bout.”

“Yeah, she just screamed, ‘I cannot believe it!’, literally.”

“Yeah, Ah suppose...”

*CRASH*

“Motherfucking cunts!”

The two mares turned to see Trevor, who seemed so pissed off, that just being near him would be suicide. The two quietly walked away, right before Trevor punched a hole in the quartz wall.

Lee moved over to walk beside the methhead, and noted his outburst.

“You know, you must really be angry. You said the MF word.”

Trevor grabbed Lee by the neck, and slammed him against the wall with a loud *WHAM*.

“That fucking BITCH!... and her new boyfriend, THEY FUCKING... they killed David.”

“Wait, David... he’s...”

“Yes, fucking...” Trevor let Lee go and let him plop to the ground.

“Dead?” Lee didn’t want it to be true.

“Yeah, I may not have liked the guy, but he pulled his own weight and didn't back down, and that's respectable. Lee, you and I got work to do.” Trevor picked Lee up and dusted off his shoulders.

“What kind?” Lee rubbed his neck.

“You know what kind!” Trevor tried to look like he knew what he was doing, but truthfully, he just needed a direction to point his gun in.

(Your answer will influence what you do next. Trevor will remember this.)

-> Revenge? <-

Stopping others from dying?

Find out who sent them?

(Stay Silent.)

“You want revenge?” Lee guessed.

Trevor was thankful for Lee thinking of an actual plan, “YES! You coming?”

(Think carefully on your response, Trevor will remember this)

Yes. They’ve gone too far.

Hell yeah, David was my friend.

-> No, I refuse to believe you. <-

No, we’d just die again.

(Stay silent)

“No, I… I can’t believe that something this important… I mean… how can… how can you prove it?” Lee hoped against hope that Trevor was mistaken.

“That asshole had his sword, YOU DON’T TAKE SOMEONE’S SWORD WITHOUT WRENCHING IT FROM THEIR COLD, DEAD, HANDS, LEE!” 

“Oh Jesus… that’s… well you know more about those methods than me… holy shit…” Lee couldn’t deny it anymore.

(Try again, and remember, Trevor will remember this)

Yes. They’ve gone too far.

-> Hell yeah, David was my friend. <-

No, we’d just die again.

(Stay silent)

“Well then… HELL YEAH I want revenge, David was my friend, man.” Lee felt a fire of anger ignite in his soul.

“What’s that supposed to mean? Am I not your friend? You never called me friend!” Trevor was thinking even less clearly than usual.

“Well no, I mean yes, I mean-... that’s not what I meant…” Lee tried to dodge around this little metaphorical bullet he’d gotten himself almost shot with.

“Then WHAT DID YOU MEAN?!” Trevor screamed at him.

(Trevor won’t let you ride the fence this time, and he WILL remember this)

Yes. They’ve gone too far.

No, we’d just die again.

-> (Stay silent) <-

“...” Lee was lost for words.

“ANSWER ME LEE!” The balding man pulled out his Automatic Shotgun and aimed it at Lee’s chest.

(You have to pick NOW, and Trevor will remember this)

Yes. They’ve gone too far. 

-> No, we’d just die again. <-

...

“No… they can’t be forgiven for this, but we’d just die again if we tried to get them.” 

“I had ‘em on the ropes, Lee, if there were two of us, they wouldn’t stand a chance.” 

“I…” Lee was trapped.

(You might not have really had any choice in the first place, Trevor will remember your hesitance, however.)

Yes. They’ve gone too far. (This choice fills you with the desire to smash them)

Yes. We have to stop them. (This choice makes you want to disintegrate them)

Yes. David can’t have died for nothing. (This choice gives you with a righteous vendetta)

-> Yes. You’re right Trevor. (This choice burns you up inside, but Trevor deserves his dues) <-

“Yes, alright- YES! Okay?... You were right Trevor, I was wrong to have hesitated and thought that I shouldn’t try to take revenge, even though I’m the one that suggested it! Come on, we have to-*COUGH-HACK-WHEEZE*” Lee had turned from Trevor and was about to lead the way, when he fell to his knees with a vicious cough.

He coughed up bile, feeling nauseous as it dripped down his tongue and onto the floor.

His throat was clear for all of two seconds before his lungs felt like they collapsed, and his tongue lolled out of his mouth, the tip landing in the black bile on the floor.

“EUGH!” Lee retracted his tongue and wiped it off with the backs of his hands.

“Whoa, Gene Simmons tongue.” Trevor said in awe, leaning back away from Lee.

Lee coughed violently again, green smoke coming from his mouth.

You got: Smoker’s Tongue, it seems that being affiliated with Trevor automatically makes you more druggy, and thus you now occasionally (and uncontrollably) cough up green smoke. On the bright side, the smell of death has been reduced to the smell of cooked meat, and you can now shoot your tongue out like a sticky rope, the maximum distance is 50 feet.

“Okay, let’s go, this is gonna be easier with that boa constrictor snake thingy fer a tongue ya have now.” Trevor handed Lee the Heavy Revolver and ammo, then led the way down to the street.

Lee sighed in relief, equipped the gun to the front of his pants, pocketed the ammo, and followed his fellow avenger towards the agents.

What Lee didn’t know, was that he might end up killing David in order to avenge David.






-The Ender Castle, infinity time units after the inception of existence-


“Very well, Michael the Guide, if you wish to talk to this person, so be it.” The Ender Dragon said as she walked towards her throne.

Michael sighed, took a deep breath, and walked through the doors to the interrogation room.

There he was.

“Hello Mr. Harry James Potter, I believe it’s time we discuss our current situation.”

“Yes, Michael, we should.” Harry replied, ready to speak to the other person.

“Just a heads up, one of our own is undercover in the Organization.”

“We have an Assassin in their base, looking for info too.” Harry lied, hoping to outdo this person’s boast.

Michael smiled, and spoke.

“Good, by the way...the Assassin vs Templar endless war? It rages on even in the Equestrian lands?”

“It’s bloody everywhere Michael, same with the Wizards and the Firsts, they are everywhere, and while we aren’t exactly actively seeking out fights against each other, if we meet, we will clash.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s also something to note. But in this dire time, we may need to work together to stop this threat.”

“In the end though, is the villain not destroyed by one final hit?” Harry philosophized.

“Yes, yes he is, but the two important questions are: When will that hit be? And who will deliver it?” Michael asked the hard question, shaking his head with thought.

“Only time will tell... that’s something my good friend Ron once said to me, of course he used it as an excuse to not attend a test back in Hogwarts, but the weight of the situation is still distributed the same.”

“Hehe... Well, most of the Weasley’s aren’t exactly the most... well... um… BUT they do have wise words, nonetheless.”

“Are you thinking of proactive? And I agree.”

“Yes, proactive… there is another group that may help or hurt us… two men from Earth Alpha.” 

“I’ve heard of the Alphas, we can only hope that their better nature takes hold, and that their haste does not. Else this Organization will surely kill them, and our only lifelines will be cut.”

“Correct, I can only hope that they are safe…”





“...For as long as possible.”


-Earth Alpha, Studio City, CA-


The person who goes by Awesomedude17, known as David in the real world, wrote as he began to look away from the screen.

“Whelp, that’s done. Time for some GTA.” The man said as he set up a game of Grand Theft Auto V.

Outside on the street, a blue wave of light passed over a figure that wasn’t there before.


WASTED


“Doh.” David sighed as Franklin got wasted by the cops.

The screen suddenly went black.

“Great, power outage. Oh well, I guess I’ll...”


*BANG BANG BANG*


Vari, an Extraction agent, busted the door down from its shot-off hinges, a pair of UMP45s in his hands.

David looked at the sight, and saw his step-dad run towards the man, ready to beat the shit out of the attacker to defend his  his home.

Vari knocked him out in one punch, and David went wide-eyed.

“Shit.” David ran from his chair.

Vari looked at David running, and aimed his guns at him.

“Don’t move.” Of course, David did the exact opposite of what he was told to do, and managed to dance past Vari and out the door.

David was soon out of the apartment, and ran down the street, calling 911 and putting it on speakerphone.

"911, please state the nature of your emergency."

"Yes, my name is David V-" *BANG* "KAH! A man shot his way into my apartment on 8th street and most-likely wants to either-" *BANG* "-kidnap or kill me!" 

"I know this is difficult, David, but I need you to calm down so I can send you help."

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT-" *BANG* "-IT'S DIFFICULT! SEND SOME POLICE QUICK!" *BANG* "I'm on the corner of 8th and Wesley, my step-dad is unconscious and probably dead, AND I WILL BE DEFINITELY BE DEAD SOON!"

"I want you to be safe, David, can you get somewhere where you can stay safe?" 

"I CAN TRY MY DAMNEDEST!" David turned the corner and ran left.

"I have police stationed on Wesley and Lockhead, just a few blocks west, and there is ambulance on the way to help your stepfather. Don't worry David, just stay calm and everything's going to be just fi-" *BANG-CRACK*

A shot broke his smartphone, and David grimaced.

Soon enough, he was tackled, and Vari cuffed him.

“Oh... crapbaskets.”

“You’re coming with me, Alpha.”

“I prefer the term: follower.” David said in a very snarky tone, right before he was punched in the face.

“Shut it!”

David spit out some blood, and sighed.

'I am fucked. I guess the world finally found out my secret socialist views and wants me dead now.' He thought, desperately hoping that this was just some big misunderstanding.

“You’re going to help us find someone, a bunch of people actually, and your ‘buddy’ is going to help you help us too.”

David gulped, he knew of only one person who called him ‘buddy’...

“So come on, and-” Vari was cut off by a sudden loud, high-pitched noise.

*BWORRREEEEOOOOOORRRROOOOO* the sirens of a police car came in from the distance.

“Fuck you, the cops are here!” David elbowed the groin of the man and tried to get free.

Vari took the shot, thankful he was wearing a cup, and threw David to the ground.

He took out a small device and rolled it down the street like a bowling ball towards the cops’ car.

*clatter-takka-takka-takka-BOOM* the device blew the police car, as well as the officers inside it, to pieces.

David looked on in shock, and decided it wasn’t worth it anymore, this wasn't a misunderstanding, this was real.

Vari roughly grabbed David by the collar and hoisted him up.

“Fine, you win.” David said as he stopped struggling.

“The battle is over, but the war wages on.” Vari pulled out his teleporter remote and punched in the code for the mothership.

“The hell you talking about, and what the hell is-” The two teleported away, leaving nothing but sirens.






-Earth Alpha, Texarkana TX-


The man known in his little ‘company’ as P1, known as Evan in real life, sat in his room, a tab on his computer opened up to some hentai.

This was routine by this point, come home from the office, watch some Youtube, jerk off, maybe see Grace, and the second and third steps were sometimes switched.

It all depended on what day it was.

Outside, Evan’s girlfriend, Grace Starlight, was about to enter the house, when suddenly she was overcome by a sense of fear.

“HQ, I have the other one’s girlfriend, she’ll get us inside quietly.”

“Alright, keep it quiet, nearly the whole damn city got on our asses for David, let’s just hope that she knows how to shut up.”

“Hey, who’s ther- MPHM MPH...” Grace soon felt a wet rag on her mouth as she was grabbed from behind.

“Shhh... just take the chloroform, and relax.” Binner knew it wasn’t chloroform, but this woman probably didn’t know what a ‘deci-capacity-p/s-neurotoxin’ was, so he used a more common term.

Half conscious after about five seconds, Grace prayed to whatever god might listen to her right now for safety, or at least mercy.

Maybe Evan would burst out the door with his machete in hand, or maybe that background check was done, and he’d gotten that Five-seveN pistol.

Fate didn’t give her safety, but it had mercy on her, and the rag was removed right when she was on the border of blacking out.

“Open the door, quietly, go through whatever little routine or whatever you have, and keep quiet.” Binner commanded.

Grace hazily turned to the door and nodded lazily, fearing for her life and pulling out the key to the door.

*click* the door opened without a sound and she stepped inside softly.

Binner followed a few feet behind, watching as she walked over to an unmarked box on a table against one of the walls of the living room and opened it, putting on a cute little pair of cat ears.

“What the fuck are you doing?” The Collection agent asked.

“This is… normal for... us.” Grace tiredly answered, her energy sapped from the malignant chemicals in the anasthetic.

Putting on a cute face with a lazy smile, she led the way to Evan’s bedroom, opening the door softly.

Evan was busy watching a Minecraft video with his headphones on, sitting in his big fancy chair in a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt, completely unaware of his girlfriend walking in, or the presence of the other-dimensional agent behind her.

Satisfied from his daily wank, Evan laughed as the players did something funny, and froze for half a second when a pair of caring arms gently fell onto his shoulders.

“Hey babe, kawaii cat burglar’s here.” Grace greeted her man softly, nuzzling the top of his head.

“HOOOOHHHHHH! Kawaii desu, neko on'nanoko moshi moshi! Sono airashi!” Evan hammily acted out, making several wide, sweeping gestures and leaning his head all the way back.

Graced leaned forward and the two kissed, and Binner almost felt sympathy for them for a second.

Almost felt sympathy...

Almost.

"Teeheeheehee, I love you baby." Grace giggled softly.

"Ahehehe, I love you too-" Evan took a sharp intake of air as Grace was suddenly ripped away from him and thrown aside like trash.

A second later, Evan found himself being lifted by the shoulders and turned around.

“WHOA! SHIT! JE-JE-JE-JE-JESUS! JESUS NO! JESUS WHY?! JESUS HELP ME!” He could have sworn that he nearly became catholic in these times of panic.

A sharp slap to the face snapped him out of it, and he felt a lot more like talking business.

“AHHH! Okay, okay… *huff* I’m… *gulp* I’m good… *puff* What do you want from me?”

“We want the power that lays within you, Alpha, the power to create.”

“Well, I took one art course in high school, and I’m working as a manager, so… um… I’m creative?”

“That sounds like a stupid attempt at fixing this situation into your favor.”

“Well if the roles were reversed, wouldn’t you do the same?” Evan snapped back, the question hitting Binner hard.

The O.C.A. kept his cool, and held Evan up by one shoulder, turning his Desert Eagle .44 on Grace.

“NO! DON’T HURT HER!... I love her, I really do… Gray-gray, this might be the last time I talk to you.” Evan was panicking, and he always tended to let his emotions loose when panicking.

“Please, just… what do you want from us?” Grace demanded desperately.

“Not you, girl, him. You are a story-teller, is this not correct?” Binner demanded the blond man's answer.

“Well I DM for my friend’s D&D games, yeah, I make campaigns a lot, I improvise almost literally all the time… do you need me to write you a story?” 

“Sort of… I will explain later… for now.” Binner put away his Desert Eagle and pulled out a can of Amnesia Spray, spraying Grace with it to make sure she forgot this whole event and didn’t cause a ruckus with any police reports.

Evan looked at his girlfriend, maybe for the last time, as well as snuck the Desert Eagle .44 to his pants, tucking it into the crotch area.

“I love you, Grace… I just thought I should let you know that.” he said, sounding hopeless and sad, but completely honest.

Binner punched in the code for the mothership, and the two disappeared.

Grace shook her head, trying to clear the fog in her thoughts.

She looked at Evan’s empty computer chair, his computer screen stuck on a paused Minecraft video.

“I guess he had to take a call… aww.” She stood up, wondering how she’d managed to stumble enough to fall in the first place, and left the house without any further question, putting the cat ears back in the box.

‘Oh well, maybe I can catch him tomorrow… yeah!’ she thought hopefully, smiling as she walked down the street, pretending to brush the plastic mane of her Rainbow Dash figurine with a finger as she was comforted by the fact that Evan honestly loved her.






-The Void, no time ever-


Damon looked at the two unconscious men sitting in the chairs across the table.

“Grr... This has David written all over it. I told him not to look for those ‘special’ people.” Damon said as he turned around, angry.

The sound of his voice roused the two men from their chemical-induced sleep.

“Wha...” David moaned.

“Nyam nyam nyam… *yawn* Oh shit… where the fuck am I?” Evan yawned.

“Wake up you two, I need your help.” Damon commanded, his baritone making him sound almost demonic.

“WHOA! DEMON DUDE! SHITSHITSHITSHIT SHIT SHIT SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT SHITSHIT!” Evan stood up and tried to run out of the room.

David on the other hand just stared as Damon suddenly found himself in between Evan and freedom.

“What the... OHGAW-*COUGH*!” Evan crashed into Damon’s larger form.

“Sit... DOWN!”

“Uh... yes… uh… name?” Evan asked.

“I am Damon, and you shall sit.”

Evan, for once, did as he was told, and sat in the chair.

David blew air, and looked at the demon.

“Well, looks like my fanfiction just came to life.” David said as he glared at the demon.

“Wait… wait what? I’m scared and confused right now… I was just watching some Youtube vids after jackin’ off, and then my girlfriend came in…” 

“Too much info bro, but Damon here, he’s from my mind, and he’s kinda my dark side on world issues.” David explained.

“Huh, my other side is P1, the great Godfather creator of many, I have, like… over two dozen people from him, from a mage and knight, to an alchemist, to a soldier and a drone operator, to a barbarian and a master of war... and each have cool powers that I load them up with.” Evan remembered all of those stories, especially the more memorable ones.

“In my realm, however, you both are mere mortals who are nothing more than pawns in my chess game of faith. As for why I gathered you, an associate of mine has gone against my wishes, and now 24 individuals are now ready to try and kill me. You both are needed.”

“Huh… a miniature army… cooooooool.” Evan laughed.

“Not if they are after me.” Damon said, keeping calm.

“Well… I’m a gamer… sort of… who are they? I could give you some tips.” Evan said calmly, folding his hands over each other and leaning over the table.

“Same here.” David replied, tone rather calm for this situation.

“We have one named Michael the Guide.

“Duuuuude, Terraria, haven’t played that one in a little while… I always wondered how he got so smart, I guess he had like a knowledge-gaining power or something.” Evan gushed

“I never played that.” David informed.

“Steve?.”

“Block dude, deadmau5 loves Minecraft.” David replied.

“I play Minecraft plenty too, I’ve pretty much memorized all the crafting recipes.” Evan motioned for Damon to continue.

“Trevor Phillips.” Damon continued

“We’re fucked.” David said, now scared.

“AH! The… the other white guy from GTA V? Yeah, he’s pretty fuckin’ awesome.”

“Michael De Santa is the other guy, he’s a good gunner.” David conversed.

“The Postal Dude.”

“I played his game, he is quite... off.” David put airquotes around 'off'

“Never played dat… ain’t no idea mayun.” Evan imitated an african-american voice.

“Lee Everett.” 

”OH SHIT! MAH BOIIIII!” Evan whooped and cheered, “Shame he done got bit though.” 

“Don’t know him.” David sighed. “Bit?”

“Zombie stuff bruh.” Evan explained simply.

“Coach.”

“VAAAaaague. That’s like saying Doctor, or Priest, or Guy for crying out loud.” Evan replied.

“He fought infected.”

“Left 4 Dead 2, I like Nick.” David said.

“My buddy P2 likes Ellis, he and I play Coach and Ellis like a… ‘highschool all over again’ sorta game.”

“Who plays Rochelle though in a 4P game?

“Nobody likes Rochelle… nobody, not even the people that do.” 

“What about after Francis had good lines with her?”

“Uh… Francis is pretty fuckin’ cool too, ‘I hate trains’...” Evan laughed again.

“Enough, Kurtis Stryker.”

“Mortal Kombat 9?” David asked.

“OOH! Dat SWAT boooiiiiiii, got dat gat gat with tha GLACK GLACK!” Evan mocked, making a handgun gesture.

“You’re weird, and I’m fucking crazy man.”

Evan wiggled his fingers at David, confusing him long enough for Damon to continue.

“The one known as ‘King Douchebag’.”

“SOOOOUUUUUTHHHH PAAAAAARRRRRRRKKK... *frrt*” Evan made a fart sound with his mouth.

“I wonder if Kenny was killed by your troops again.” David sighed.

“Nikolai Belinski.”

“Oh, that drunk Russian who fought zombies.”

“Nazi Zombies… yaaawwwwn.” Evan made a ‘go on’ gesture, resting his head on his hand.

“A man like David here.”

“Wait, what?” David raised an eyebrow.

“David~… David~~… WHO~?” Evan sarcastically joked with the ‘you don’t say’ face on.

“Spyro the Dragon.”

“Never played that game, but he’s cool like Spike… but without the ‘young’ part… sorta… I mean-” Evan just decided to stop for a second.

“I played his first three, and one of the reboot games.” David noted.

“Harry Potter.”


“YOU’RE A WIZARD HARRY!” Evan said in a Hagrid voice, "Wingadium LeviosAAAAAAAAHHHH~." He recited, doing a nearly perfect impression of that meme.

“A wizard against us. Brilliant.” David snarked.

“A man known as Soldier, or Jane Doe.”

“BLU or RED? They are similar, but different.”

“A man? Oh right, Soldier is fucking stupid, but in a smart way… not a… bad… way… I like TF2” Evan tried.

“Wade ‘Deadpool’ Wilson.”

“Also known as Dr. Professor Carlos Winston Lazarus McBatman, but he can’t spell that one.” Evan giggled, “My bro-ham P6 loves him, ‘cuz he’s got guns and katanas and stuff.” 

“He’s my favorite, and also hard to control in writing him. He’s mine.” David cracked his knuckles.

“Master Chief Petty Officer John-’The Demon’-117.”

“I only played Halo 2.” David said. “Never liked XBox’s pay to play online thing.”

“Surprisingly, never played any of the games, but I know pretty much what it’s all about.”

“Steve the Lion-heart.”

“The one that goes Heyoo?” Evan asked.

“Yes.”

“Well, he’s... different.” David replied.

“Doomguy.”

“Oh, he’s a killer of demons, so you’re screwed if we don’t help” David said

“He literally has a gun called ‘The Unmaker’... that’s downright BADASS!” Evan whooped, “And you can’t forget the BFG-9000.”

“OH GOD YES!” David cheered.

“Wait… no… he was destroyed by a random asteroid attack… Arbiter.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.” David said.

“Arbiter is Chief’s BFF, and he’s got… like… he’s just fucking awesome, okay?” Evan didn't need REASON!

“Yes, but that’s not the point! Doomguy was killed off by... something th-” 

“ENOUGH! Next is Link.” Damon snapped.

“HAAAAAH! HAAAYIH!” Evan imitated.

“Which one? There are many Links.” David said in a business-like tone.

“The one from the realm of Twilight Princess.”

“Twilight Princess, yeah, we can manage that.” David replied.

“Me and P2 have played that game through over fifty times.” Evan said proudly.

“Midna herself.”

“I think you will find that to be of little problem, if I was P1 right now… ooohoohoo… but I am most decidedly not, so we may be fucked.” Evan said in his own business tone.

“Ezio Auditore de Firenze.”

“Correction, we are, indeed, fucked.” Evan corrected, if Ezio ‘Motherfucking’ Auditore was in this… damn...

“Assassin’s Creed?” David raised an eyebrow.

“One of my own agents, Eye-scraper.”

“Lame!” David said.

“That sounds like a pun I would make… waitasec- does he have another name?” 

“His name before I inducted him into the Organization was Blue Comet.” Dammnealed.

“OH SHIT! That's one of my characters, I thought he was just make-believe.” Evan recalled the dragon-ninja-assassin-soldier with metal wings perfectly, he was awesome in that adventure.

“So did I when I made this guy, don’t be surprised.”

“Yeah, he had this whole thing with a guy named Tenkage, and his weapon was like the Halo Spartan Laser combined with the Sniper Rifle, it was keeeewwwwllll.” 

“Wilson Percival Higgsbury.”

“I played Don’t Starve before, was pretty fuckin’ great, got all the way to… like… fuckin’~... fuckin’~... Day 64.” Evan noted.

“I know a few things.”

“A man by the name of Adam Corleone.”

“That’s... a member of the mafia, they’re everywhere dude, you’re screwed.” Evan's definition of the mafia's presence was equivalent to 'you kill one, and they start pouring out of the goddamn walls.'

“I’d be more worried with the Cartel.” David replied, thinking about their less than subtle methods.

“Cartel’s too angry… Mafia’s just got a nice tangy twist.”

“Yakuza’s tougher though.”

“I don’t fucking care dude.” Evan was in favor of the mafia due to how awesome the movies were.

“As I was saying... Hmm...” Damon looked at the list, having lost track of who he’d said and who he hadn’t.

“What’s up? That all?”

“No. One named Albert ‘The Weasel’ Arlington.” 

“I know him, if he has a Ray Gun, run. If he has a Blundergat, run. If he has a minigun, run.”

“Run very fast.” Evan knew much better than to mess with a minigun, much less a ‘blundergat’, and he didn’t need long to get an idea of what that was, and a ‘Ray Gun’?, “Yeah, run and juke.”

“And that’s not getting into the version of the Elements of Harmony that they befriended.” 

“Equestria?” David and Evan replied in unison.

“You know what it is?” Damon was a bit surprised.

“Uh… pssh... brony for life, dude.” Evan pulled out a Fluttershy figurine, “Ya don’t just… not… it… you don’t not… okay?” Evan said as he gave Fluttershy a boop on the nose, grinned and chuckled, then put her back in his pocket.

“Er... well... I’m more covert about it. But I prefer Rarity.” David replied.

“I told my parents and all my friends, they know that -in comparison to the other shit I do- it’s a dwarf of a thing to judge me on.”

“My stepdad’s really scary, I won’t tell him.” David said.

“Dat’s cool, I ain’t judgin’.” Evan said in a bro tone.

“Enough, you know of Discord? Sombra?”

“Discord’s a crazy fuck who loves chaos.” David said.

“Sombra’s a surprisingly deep villain, if you’re willing to pick up a shovel and dig a little to find his character.”

“You don’t like him?” David asked.

“I do… he’s pretty cool, and it’s... it’s like… what I meant was that it’s not that obvious how deep his character runs, but it’s on the first and second layers of ‘taking the implications into consideration’, AKA… THINK ABOUT IT MOFO! Oh yeah, Discord… I like to think that Discord’s actually pretty young, like… less than ten thousand years old.” Evan said as though that was not a long time.

“Tirek is just plain badass though.”

“Hell yeah... WHERE, IS YOUR MAGIC?!” Evan did a good Tirek impression.

“Enough! The Endermen have decided to aid these people in their quest against me. You two will use whatever powers you have, and stop them.”

“Oh fuck man, Endermans can go toe-to-toe with Herobrine…” Evan remembered an awesome video that he’d partially taken into his head-canon.

“Herobrine? You made some people?”

“I made plenty, but not Herobrine, he’s the big scary myth that almost everyone who plays Minecraft knows about… but I digress, I make a lot of OCs, I even made a couple OCs for my girlfriend.” 

“Yes, as for the protection, I have asked two others from other worlds that I befriended on some random occasion.” He snapped his fingers, and in came a Victorian looking man with some kind of copper bat on his back, and a cowboy looking person with a steampunk arm replacing his right arm.

“So, Victorian-era and steampunk.” David thought, looking closer.

“Victorian, AKA Steampunk, and Cowboys? Actually, funny enough, those two periods were at the same time period, in the late 1800s, early 1900s.”

“When I think about it... Alex and Gerald, more OCs of mine.”

“Dude, your OCs are real? Oh shit… if Shane is real… FUUUUCK!” Evan recalled that creation, he was a cruel and wicked rapist with a S&W 29 .44 revolver that he could summon at will.

“What?” Gerald asked. “What is he blabbering about?”

“He’s a fool who has power, and we need him.” Damon explained.

Alex sighed, and grabbed Evan by the arm.

“She’s not good with conversation, she’s mute.”

“She’s a she?” Evan asked, looking at the not-very-feminine-looking form of Alex, “Huh, I couldn’t see the face all that well, but now that I do… shit man.” Evan stood up on his own.

“Hey, tall and skinny chicks with flat chests exist too.”

Alex pulled a revolver and had it aimed at David in half a second.

“Do not.” Damon warned, raising a hand.

“Hows we’s sposed to helps iffins we’s gets our headses blown off?” Evan asked in an imitation of Satan from Leo & Satan, keeping the mood afloat.

“We could reanimate, I worked with Victor Frankenstein, actually, more like roommated with him.” Gerald proposed.

“I do not accept this guy anymore, my headcanon dictates that Steampunks are the enemies of Necromancers, i’s nawt RIGHT!” Evan went dumb for a second.

“Well, they’re not your headcanon, and they’re from different worlds.”

“Yes, I met them during an improbable event.” Damon explained. “They are odd, but friendly.”

“Well how awfully convenient of you sir, have you perchance met an alchemist wielding thor’s hammer?”

“No.” 

“Well damn… Shaun would be really good to have, especially after that matter-conversion segway to Captain America transformation scene.”

“Enough, take these two to their holding rooms.” Alex and Gerald nodded and took their respective human out of the room.

“I’ll need to work on Africa now, though... some whites are uprising and being angry at the apartheid being decimated, repeatedly.” Damon smirked.

--

Evan sang as he was dragged down the hall.

“I’M NOT AFRAID~, NOT AFRAID~... YOU GOTTA LOSE yourself, in the moment, you own it, you gotta never ever let GO!” He hashed together some Eminem raps.

“You’re not this annoying online.” David found himself annoyed, surprised at the inversion of personalities.

“This is just WHO I AM, ONCE AGAIN, I THINK I reallymessedupthis sooong~... IhavenoideawhatI’mdoingohgodhelpme.” Evan trailed off, getting tossed into his cell.

“Shush.” An Interrogation Agent commanded.

“OH YEAH? ALPHA POWA!” Evan fruitlessly flexed his hands to cast a spell.

“P1, shut the fuck up! I want to sleep before I get yelled at.” David said from the cell across the five-feet wide hallway.

“P1… if I was him... you’d see that this place be gone in a blast of holy green flames.” Evan made an explosion sound and burning sounds with his mouth.

“And If I was AD17, I’d summon the powers of Sam and Max, Rick Sanchez, and CJ of San Andreas.”

“Who’s to say we aren’t? RED VERSUS BLUE! Alpha made dat AI sheeit, because the real him wanted one… orsomethingokayIfuckedupthestory. But we got stuff… so the wibbly wobbly timey wimey detector goes ding, then he finds out the ‘stuff’ is actually new power of himself and stuff.”

“My God, what have I done when I made this fanfiction?” David realized what was happening, and slumped over.

“You… FUCKED UP! YA FUCKED RIGHT UP! You fucked in the up direction, and now shit is going in the down direction. You have undoubtedly fucked-” He stopped when the door opened.

Alex suddenly came into the cell and punched out Evan.

“Thank you!” David yelled out in exasperation.

Alex nodded, and went out of the cell. 

Evan awoke from his brief unconsciousness with a start, “I don’t like Alex, she’s a bitch, or is the other one the girl… I don’t know, I’m lost... and cold… and a bit hungry…*realistic fake sob*” Evan put his head in his hands.

“Well, the West is a tough place to live in, she’s all alone, and being an nonromantic asexual, she didn’t go around a lot. And I know that’s fake.”

“Yeah, but it sounded real, didn’t it?” Evan did the realistic sobbing again.

“Real, alright.”

Evan gave a goofy smile.

“Real fake.”

“HAHAHA... this guy is my new second idol!” Gerald laughed.

“WOOWWWWWW!... DIIIIIIIIIICK!” Evan made an explosion gesture.

“I suppose Deadpool would have a field day with you.” David snarked.

“I’m famous amongst the elderly… no seriously, they all love me.” 

“Maybe it’s your youthful energy,” Gerald prepared the joke.

“Or my gewd lewks.” Evan said in a cutesy voice.

“Good... for a gorilla maybe.” Gerald laughed.

“Yep... Gerald Ivo, the crazy electrophile with a complex against mad scientists who do nothing with their inventions.”

“OH YEAH! WELL FUCK YOU! Hesitate… and you lose.” Evan motivated himself.

He opened the door to his cell, which had been left unlocked and ran in the opposite direction of Gerald and Alex.

The two just stood there.

“Blocked off exits?” David asked.

“Yes.”

“Guarded heavily?”

“Indeed.”

“I have no chance of going home.” Evan asked, having stopped for a second.

“No.” Gerald informed matter-of-factly

“... Alright then… and I’m willing to drop to my knees and beg acceptance from whoever I meet at the pearly gates… so~, therefore, have absolutely, positively...NOTHING TO LOSE, RIGHT?” Evan ran sideways away.

“Transfer me, please.” David said in an almost desperate tone.

Gerald and Alex walked into the cell, cuffing David and moving him to the cell across the hall, AKA the cell that Evan had been in ten seconds ago.

“Thank you, with all my love, but do it farther away.”

Then David smelled Evan’s little surprise.

“Did… *sniff* ugh, did he fart in here?”

“Maybe... wait, yeah, he did.”

“Take me to another wing! NOW!!!”

David was dragged by both Gerald and Alex to another wing of the mothership, confident that Evan would be caught.





“Doon, doon-doon, doon-doon, doon, doon--doon...” Evan quietly sang the Mission Impossible theme as he snuck by a couple of guards, thankful that he was only wearing his soft pajama pants and a form-fitting dark-gray t-shirt, "Luckilythissonggivesplus600tosneaking-doodoodoo~, doodoodoo~."

His feet made quiet padding sounds, and the humming of various machines throughout the facility easily drowned it out.

He made his way to the armory, which was conveniently labeled Armory.

Inside, he found many weapons, and selected a few.

A hammer that was obviously Mjolnir, which he picked up with ease, due to the conflicting auras of goodness and badness inside his head.

‘Good work Creator.’

‘Thanks P1, hey… can you come out of my head, and maybe help me get my buddy outta jail so we can bail to Equestria?’

‘I will do all in my limited power.’

‘Sweetness bruh.'

The lights went out as a lot of the ship’s magical power supply was drained suddenly, leaving Evan feeling ever-so-slightly woozy as he changed.

‘It is done, as I shan’t harm you, Creator.’

‘Or poke my butt, thanks mang.’

Evan felt lighter and stronger, knowing the power of embodiment powers from his D&D monk character experiences.

Putting the Mjolnir down, he summoned up two of his hard-made characters.

Blue Comet and Mogar Ragom.

“What the? Who are you?” Blue had been in a sparring match with Ezio, and now he was here.

“I made you, Blue, I am Lord P1.”

“Holy shit… and him?” Blue knew the origins of his existence, he had been in an Equestria that accepted pegasus OC ponies instead of copies.

“Mooooogaaaaaarrrr!” Mogar whisper-yelled his name, putting on a spring-camo shirt and pulling out a pair of tomahawks.

“Yeah, find out whatcha can and I’ll get my buddy Davy up in this… go go go.” P1 pulled out his silenced Desert Eagle .44.

The gun he’d taken from the agent who’d taken him away from his girlfriend, the silencer was just an added touch.

Luckily nobody had desired to check the bulge in his pants, for obvious reasons.

“Ahh~... just make it a penis, and they will not touch it… fucking prude-ass bitches…” He used his limited magic to change himself back down from 6’6” to his normal 5’8” and began making his way through the halls.

Soon enough, he came upon the cell blocks again, and merely looked for David’s OCs, which he knew would be standing outside of his cell.

Summoning up Isaac Memoar, a bio-tech Terminator-style robot that was dressed much like the members of the ship’s crew, he had himself pretendingly led back to his cell.

“Back to ya cell, NAOW!” Isaac ordered in his baritone voice with a strong southern accent, making him sound like a western town sheriff.

“Alright, alright, gawsh, stop pushing, GEEZ I’M GOIN’ GEEZ!” Evan was prodded in the back several times as he was forced back into his cell.

“What’s up with that new shirt?” Gerald noticed Evan’s change in attire.

Rather than dark red pajama pants, the blond man was now wearing dark gray jeans, and his shirt now had a picture of an angel’s wings on the back

“You’re hallucinating, I was always wearing this.” Evan lied, hiding his now-sand-colored eyes from view.

“He’s right, I was watching him during that little meeting these two had with Damon.” Isaac assured, pushing his glasses up and walking away, “This matter is closed.” he called back to them after a few seconds.

P1 smirked, “Hey David?”

“Whaaat?” David replied.

“Are you sitting on your bed?” The small man stepped over to the door, ducked low with his Desert Eagle .44 suppressed in hand.

“Yeah, just on my bed, laying back against the wall, looking at the door, no… I won’t be able to see you sticking your tongue out at me from here, the door is, like, five feet in front of me and to the left.” David informed, trying to get his surprisingly-annoying friend to stop whatever he was doing.

“Aw… well… MOOOOOOGAAAAAAARRR!” The glasses-wearing man barbarian shouted.

Alex was about to shoot him, just for sanity’s sake, but both she and Gerald found themselves chopped in the back by tomahawks, then bashed in the temples with the blunt ends, knocked out.

Evan used the limited-right-now power he had from P1 to summon a copy of his Deagle .44 suppressed, then fired both and blew out the locks on the door.

He shot the locks off of David’s door and walked inside.

“Come on, mount bayonets and prep ‘nades, we’re getting out of here, just absorb the ship’s magic, and while you do, I’ll keep watch, Mogar on the right, Blue Comet on the left.”

“Wait what? How did you… where did Blue Comet come from?” David asked as he pondered how, exactly, one ‘absorbs the ship’s magic’

“He’s my OC, so technically he exists completely because of my will. However he’s gone meta, so I can’t destroy him at will anymore, unfortunately the same goes for the Damon guy, so we can’t just droffa our way out of this.”

“Droffa?” David tried to focus on ‘magic’.

“It’s the opposite of afford, the way it works is basically... it’s like if in the season four finale, Twilight just magic-nuked the fuck out of Tirek, and that just, like, killed him. A cheap-ass ending. Basically droffa is where you can’t do something because you have too much money, and doing it with too much makes you a super fuckin’... douchebag mofo son of a bitch.” Evan noticed David’s struggle with the magic.

He lent a helping hand, that hand Matrix-surgeried the method of it into David’s head, and David simply went from there, becoming Awesomedude17.

“Some might call that droffa too, but it was just too… shut up, come on, I have intel, Isaac.” P1 summoned his android again.

“I have hacked into the surveillance systems and found the shortest path to the teleporter room.”

“Awesome bro-ham, lead the way.” P1 commanded.

Isaac led the way, with P1 following him, Awesomedude17 following P1, and Mogar and Blue taking up the rear and watching everyone’s six o'clock.

“How has Damon not found out about us escaping yet?” Awesomedude asked with the hope that he didn’t jinx them.

“Isaac hacks into a profile and then legit-accesses files, so we didn’t trip any firewall alarms, my pistols are suppressed, so nobody heard that I gunned us out, I play stealth games, I know what some people will and won’t think is normal.” P1 explained as the group came upon a large room with dozens of sterile-white pods filled with blue lights, so many pods that they lined the walls.

“Alright... maybe if you can summon others… then maybe...”

David snapped his fingers, and a wormhole ripped open, revealing a battlefield, and a two men knife fighting. The two looked towards the rip in space and time, and AD looked through.

“I am the god of your world, and you two are coming with me, got it?” AD didn’t even give the two a chance to answer as he hopped in, grabbed the two just as the oil-refinery they were in that was about to explode, then hopped back to the other reality.

“Boize... who the hell are...”

“Dmitri Vulakh, Romero Lopez, you two are from a world that I aided in shaping.”

“Is that why’s the world’s so horrible?” Romero asked.

“No, that would be assholes. Dmitri, you help Isaac there, and I’ll use my godmode powers to finally relax.” David snapped his fingers to reveal a floating lounge chair, and swapped his old outfit for a beach outfit.

“Lazy prick.” Romero took aim with a silenced rifle.

“Hmm... this seems to be rather advanced technology. I do not know if I can hack this.” Dmitri looked on.

“I can.” Isaac replied, ripping the skin off his hand, revealing robotic fingers.

“I’ll summon a distraction, or two.” David snapped his fingers, and the alarms went off.

"Breach Detected in Mess Hall, ALL PERSONNEL REPORT!!!" the intercom blared.

“I wonder how They will fuck this place up.”

“Who’re they?” Dmitri asked.

“Sam and Max, Freelance Police.”

“You know, the way you’re doing things, you’re actin’ like an AYUSS.” P1 remarked as David switched outfits to business attire.

“Maybe, but hey, these are the powers I chose to have, you could’ve gone God of Insanity like me.” AD said, smirking.

“I very well could have, and I could have this place flooded with lava and semen, if I wanted, but I need some time to charge to full power, I cannaet du-et laddie.” P1 said as his fists clenched and a neon liquid squirted from his grip.

“Well, at least the guards are passing us by.” Romero said.

“Isaac, are you done?” Dmitri asked.

“Yeah, and soon P1 can copy more’a them powers he does, that’s m’lawd, he’s a sponge.” Isaac noted in his deep voice and strong southern drawl, saluting to his creator.

“Good,” AD said. “Here is the plan, Dmitri, Romero and I will go to the Equestria where Harry is, and the rest go to Michael.”

“I got the code.” P1 cracked his knuckles and began entering the code.

“♩My little pony~, friendship is magic~, season 2 time, let’s see, VAARRIIIIIAAANNNNTS!” P1 sang as he entered in ‘Equestria, time: season 2.’

“Wait...” Dmitri trailed off.

“Different Equestria, period, guys. Your world is grim, but at least you didn’t see the sequel.” AD said.

“Sequel?” Romero asked, confused.

“It was fucking crazy bros. Two men smoked catnip and well... shit happened.”

“I do not want to know.” Dmitri replied, kinda confused.

In a few seconds, a teleporter pod slid from its position on the wall to the activator slot on the floor-level.

“Alright, head on through, I’m getting the codes, so I’ll go second.” P1 said as he pulled out his Deagle .44 S and aimed it down the hallway.

AD and his guards stepped into the pod, and in a wave of blue light, was gone.

P1 looked down the hall, hoping that nobody came to him while he was putting in the codes to find the other Equestria.

Selecting the correct Equestria, he waited the few seconds it took for the pod to slide into position.

A loud *THUD THUD THUD* came rushing down the hall.

“Sand?!” He called out, knowing that his ‘p-awns’ would answer correctly.

“I’LL CRUSH YOU TO SAND!” It was Damon, and he was pissed.

The teleporter activated.

“OH SHIT NYUGA! TACTICAL DIIIIIIIIIIIIVE-HNNG-BEHHHHHH” P1 shouted as he dove towards the pod, barely going under a punch from Damon that would have broken his head off his neck.

The light flashed, and he was gone, but not before shooting Damon in the foot with his DE.44S.

“THAT’S FOR MY KITTY!” he angrily shouted as his body was transported elsewhere.

Damon merely shrugged off the attack, and snarled at the escape.

“*sigh* Those humans are insufferable.”

“Cheer up...”

“Quiet you.” Damon interrupted the Hyperkinetic Rabbity Thingy that had been terrorizing the kitchen staff.

“Sir, this changes nothing, those two cain’t do anything comparable to your power.” Isaac informed, pretending to be on Damon’s side.

“Yes... who are you?” Damon asked.

“Mah name is Director Isaac Memoar, former leader of the Mother of Invention, at your service.”

“Ah... how could I forget?” Damon walked up to the cyborg.

“You sound like the Director from RvB.” Mogar said as he disappeared into pixels.

“Yes, that is an amusing series.” Damon continued his walk.

“I was based on him, yes, entirely so, and I am willing to serve you, sir.” Isaac said, saluting and putting his other hand on the button that activated his Lightscythe 

“Yes, I know.” Damon then took out a massive handmade revolver and shot Isaac in the face.

“After all, I know only my own troops. Never do that again.” Damon said, looking at Issac’s body as it slowly fell.

However, the main processors weren’t completely destroyed, so he weakly swung his Lightscythe at Damon, cutting into his arm before being knocked back.

“Alphas... bah.” Damon sighed, supported his half-severed arm, and walked out of the room, letting the troops clean up.






-Universe: Equestria Iota-2, Location: The Crystal Kingdom, Time: Day 2 of the PSR (post-Sombra-return) era, Weather: still kinda warm-


P1 appeared in a large room underground, reading the location stamp in the corner of his vision.

"Alright then... sweet, so I need to find some hoo-mans... juss lahk me."

The chamber seemed to be a huge sort of storage room, filled almost shoulder-to-shoulder with zombies.

A huge painted sign on the wall read Red Power Base 99, Experiments Lab, B1

“Fuck.” P1 used his powers to awaken the sand-colored wings upon his back, flying across the room to the elevator.

He opened fire with Dual DE.44S, his divinely reinforced structure easily supporting the akimbo fire, killing about a couple dozen zombies as the doors shut, then the elevator raised him one floor higher.

Casting a light spell, he made his way outside, and into the bright light of the Crystal Kingdom.

“Cooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo*breathe*ooooooooooooolllllllllllll.” He said as he began making his way towards the Crystal Castle.

He only hoped that he would get a chance to hug Fluttershy before hell broke loose.