It was a sunny, pretty, super-wonderific afternoon in Ponyville! The birds were singing! The ponies were smiling! And everything was absolutely perfect!
Ahem...
Pinkie Pie was trotting blissfully down one of the many streets of Ponyville, humming the tune to her favorite song and thinking about the parties she was planning for later that day, as nearly every day was a party with her. She was thinking whether balloons, streamers, or confetti would be more appropriate for the occasion. After a few seconds she decided that all three would be the most logical choice.
But who needs logic when you have Pinkie Sense?! Nopony, that's who! Pinkie snortled to herself as she thought this, thinking it to be very, very funny.
Yes, Pinkie was a certain sort of mare... The kind that sees everything through rose colored glasses, and does everything she possibly can to make everything around her happy and fun. Even if it's the opposite of fun, it must be made fun. Nopony can be left untouched by her influence. Nopony must be allowed to remain unfunned by Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie waved to a pair of passing ponies as she made her way to wherever it was she was going.
They looked to her with slightly glazed over eyes, and smiles that seemed just a tiny bit too wide to be normal. They waved back to her in perfect unison, stopped waving in perfect unison, looked forward in perfect unison, and proceeded to walk off in perfect unison.
Pinkie smiled to herself, thinking how much of a good job she had done here in Ponyville with spreading her happiness around to everypony... Everypony...
She put her hoof to her chin in thought, squinting her eyes and humming to herself. "Do I need any more ingredients for my cupcakes...?"
A passing pony accidentally bumped into her during her thinking, almost knocking her over in doing so. "Hey, pay attention, would ya?!" shouted the offending stallion as he plodded along the path towards a conveniently secluded spot in Ponyville.
Pinkie was stunned for only a second before letting her eyes follow the stallion. She smiled. "Guess I'm running low after all," she said to herself, uncharacteristically quiet, and with a smile she reserved only for those who worked in the same line of work as she did.
But just as she was about to follow him, a small sign post fell from the sky and stuck in the ground just in front of her, prompting a surprised yelp from her. When she was calmed down thanks to a few seconds of deep breathing, she closely inspected the sign. "Aha!" she declared loudly. "I knew it!" she yelled, throwing her hoof in the air, then leveling it in accusation at the sign. "It's a sign!"
Somewhere far off, an invisible audience was clapping in admiration and only Pinkie Pie could hear them.
She pulled a detective hat and a bubble pipe from somewhere unknown to all but Pinkie and applied them to the proper places on her body as she inspected the sign closely. It had words on it... Of course! Slowly, she read the words out loud. "I want to be a pie..." She rubbed her chin with a hoof while blowing bubbles from the pipe in the corner of her mouth. What's that supposed to mean? she asked herself. Only... she didn't. Huh? Where's my voice? Did it run away again?
Pinkie reached up to her mouth to try to find her voice. But she didn't. Her mouth wasn't there. Neither was her hoof, or anything for that matter. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak, she couldn't even think! Oh no, wait, yes she could.
She tried to look around, but soon discovered that she could see nothing but the sign no matter how hard she looked anywhere else. Nothing worked! Nothing except only the most basic of senses. She could smell apples. Apples and cinnamon, and possibly vanilla. She could hear the ponies going about their daily business. She could see the sign. She could taste apple pie for some reason. But the strangest thing of all was that she could feel something cold and circular on her bottom half.
Wait a second... Apples and cinnamon and vanilla... something round under me... apple pie flooding my taste buds... that sign in front of me... Pinkie gasped, or, at least gasped in her thoughts. I'm a pie! she exclaimed in her mind. That's hilarious! A Pie is actually a pie! She thought this was funny.
A large thud resounded behind her. "Aw boy! A pie! I can't believe my luck!" said a voice from somewhere Pinkie Pie pie couldn't see.
Pinkie was picked up by an unknown pony making slavering noises and humming in delight. Once she was lifted up, she could see the pony perfectly; it was Soarin.
Soarin was drooling and eyeing Pinkie with an insane hunger in his eyes.
Pinkie tried to yell out to him, to convey some kind of message that it was her and not a delicious baked pastry like he thought she was. It didn't work. It was a good thing Pinkie was unable to vocalize her thoughts, otherwise the screams would have given everypony in town nightmares for the rest of their natural lives.
Soarin starting eating the pie with gusto, slobbering and slavering everywhere. Soarin was so busy with his pie that he didn't even notice the wheezing, dying laughter coming from a nearby bush.