Vinny returned to the inn, very full of himself.
"Guess who's got a date?!" He cheered.
"No way." Slot gaped. "You got a date before me?"
"Sure I did." Vinny smirked. "With a real hot mare, too."
"Congrats, Vin." Murray smiled. "Now, only Slot needs to get himself a girl, and the bet is ours!"
"That's a pretty big 'if', don't you think?" Salt frowned.
"Right you are, Salt." Grimoire nodded. "It's not over yet."
"Oh yeah, who's the stallion?" Vinny boasted. "Who's the big stallion?"
"Geez, Vinny." Sonny rolled his eyes. "It's just a mare."
"Yes, we're happy for you." Lars added. "But all this bragging is starting to get annoying."
"Ah, you're just jealous." Vinny smirked. "I got the best mare in town!"
"Get your crossbow." Salt whispered to Murray.
"Way ahead of you…" Murray muttered, pulling out his crossbow…
The next morning, Grimoire was in the Carousel Boutique, waiting alongside Rainbow Dash, as Rarity fitted Daring for her dress behind a screen curtain.
"So let me get this straight... you made a bet with your brothers that they couldn't get dates for Caboose and my wedding, so they decided to 'help' me by joining us on this trip, and then go off and get dates?" Daring asked from behind the curtain.
"That's pretty much it." Grimoire nodded.
"Huh, shoulda figured that they were up to something when they said they wanted to 'help'." Daring reflected.
"I'm sorry if they deceived you, Daring... but they are still pretty good ponies." Grimoire smiled.
"Except that Vinny guy." Rainbow interjected. "He just assumed that I like mares!"
"Really?" Rarity stuck her head out of the curtain. "Did he not know-"
"Yeah!" Rainbow nodded. "Heck, I'd be surprised if that dweeb did get a date."
"Actually, Mrs. Dash, Vinny does have a date now." Grimoire revealed.
"You kidding me?" Rainbow gasped. "A mare would have to have really low self-esteem for that to happen..."
"Well, according to Vinny, Berry Punch was willing to go with him." Grimoire shrugged. "In fact, she seems to like Vinny."
"Either way, good for him." Daring smiled. "Even if he is Vinny, I guess he deserves a mare. By the way, Grim, I've been meaning to ask you something."
"What?" Grimoire asked.
"I'd like Dash to be my mare of honor." Daring declared. "Would it be okay, regarding the... y'know, issue?"
"I guess it would be alright." Grimoire nodded. "As long as she doesn't look in the basement... or the closets... or try to pick a fight with my men, things should just be peachy."
"Think you can do that, Dash?" Daring asked.
"Pfft, no prob." Rainbow smirked.
Rarity stepped out from behind the curtain.
"Okay, all done." She announced. "May I introduce to the brother of the groom and the mare of honor... Daring Do."
She unveiled the curtain, revealing Daring in a beautiful wedding dress, her mane done up in an over-the-shoulder braid. Rainbow Dash and Grimoire's eyes widened... but Grim's did so for a different reason...
"How do I look?" Daring asked nervously.
"Wow... Daring, you're lookin' good!" Rainbow smiled. "Great job, Rarity!"
"Thank you, Dash, but all I did was simply make a dress to complement Daring's good looks, and the rest is history." Rarity said modestly, as she pulled up a mirror for Daring to look at.
"Whoa..." Daring struck a few poses. "...I look... beautiful." A little misty-eyed, she turned to Grimoire. "Well, Grim, what do you think?"
Grimm was staring into space, as seeing Daring in the dress reminded him of an Earthy Pony mare in a similar dress. He could have sworn he heard her voice.
"...Grimm... oh, Grimm..."
He suddenly jumped back to reality, as Rainbow poked him.
"Yo, Grim!" She yelled. "Daring's asking you what you think!"
"Oh-er-sorry." Grimoire looked at Daring. "You look magnificent, Daring... when Caboose sees you, he's going to have trouble keeping his hooves off ya."
"Ooh, that was what I was aiming for." Rarity tittered. "However, I will need to add a few more details before we are through." She called down the stairs. "Oh, Orion, dear, could you fetch us some star spider silk?"
"On it, honey!" Orion called from downstairs.
Grimoire let out a sigh.
"Are you alright, Grim?" Daring asked. "You seem rather down all of a sudden..."
"Oh, it's just... well, seeing you in that dress reminded me of... of my wife... Sandy." Grimoire admitted.
"Oh..." Daring noted. "Oh, right, Caboose told me you were once married. I didn't mean to-"
"It's fine." Grimoire smiled faintly. "I guess, with you and Caboose getting married, and my other brothers off finding mares... it brings back old feelings of what it was like to have a mate."
"You really loved her, didn't you?" Daring asked.
"More than anything." Grimoire nodded sadly. "Everything about her brought a song to my heart... her smile, her eyes, the way she could speak fluent Bitalian without even blinking... and when Dusty was born... it seemed like life had become perfect at that moment... then..."
"Oh my..." Rarity gasped.
"Wow... that is a downer..." Rainbow admitted.
"No argument there..." Daring sighed.
The four stood in silence.
"Say, Grimm... do you plan on bringing a date to the wedding?" Daring suddenly asked.
"What?! Me?" Grim said, shocked.
"Why not?" Daring shrugged. "I mean, your brothers are doing it, and honestly, if Vinny could get a date, then you could easily-"
"I'm gonna stop you there, Daring... as much as I appreciate the thought... I just can't." Grimoire sighed.
"And just why not?" Rainbow asked.
"Well for one, I don't really have time for a relationship." Grimoire declared. "I mean, I'm a father, a grandfather, an older brother... and with my..." He looked warily at Dash and Rarity. "...'business', who has the time?
"Your brothers, for one, and Caboose always seemed to find time out of his royal guard schedule to spend time with me." Daring countered.
"And my husband always made time for me, even though he was busy." Rainbow added.
"Mine, too." Rarity smiled.
"Well..." Grimoire sighed in defeat. "The truth is... I haven't really... dated anypony else since Sandy's passing. And Dusty was only a young girl, so I devoted all my time to raising her and taking care of my 'business', and well... my love life kinda took last priority."
"Well, that shouldn't be a problem now, should it?" Daring smiled. "I mean, your daughter is married and practically a princess now, your 'business' is handling itself just fine, I bet you could get a date before we have to head back."
"Hmph, that's a laugh." Grimoire snorted. "I mean, look at me. I doubt there's a mare out there who wants a piece of this stallion..." He gestured to himself, "I'm passed my prime a while ago."
"Oh, you are simply too hard on yourself, Mr. Grimoire." Rarity told him. "I'm sure there's a mare out there who would love a cultured stallion, and in a suit no less-is that silk?"
"Yeah, and you're pretty good-looking... well, for an old guy, at least." Rainbow admitted.
"Please, ladies, I think I'm better off a widow... I mean, I'm sure I could satisfy mares, I mean, us Napoleons are virile and fertile to the end but..." Grimoire continued to protest.
Suddenly Orion came in.
"Hey, I hate to interrupt your chat, but we seem to be out of the star spider silk, Rarity."
"Oh, blast it all." Rarity groaned. "Looks like I'll have to run down to Zecora's to get some more-"
"Please." Grimoire stood up. "Allow me."
"Oh, I couldn't possibly ask you..." Rarity declared.
"Why not?" Grimoire shrugged. "It's my brother's wedding after all. Just point the way, and I'll go."
"Well, if you insist..." Rarity said. "I have a map to Zecora's somewhere around here..."
After Rarity found the map, Grimoire was on his way. He entered the Everfree Forest, going deep inside.
As Grimm made his way through the ominous forest by himself, he was given time to think about things...
"How long has it been, Sandy?" Grimm whispered to himself. "…Everypony around me is moving on with their life. Our daughter Dusty is married and has two adorable colts, Caboose is getting married soon… you always did believe there was a mare for him… and all but one of my brothers now met a mare they liked… even Vinny... crazy, isn't it?" He let out a small chuckle. However, his chuckle just echoed throughout the forest… and it seem to worsen Grimm's mood.
"Daring told me that I should bring a date to the wedding… but honestly, how can I? I mean, ever since you passed away, I never even looked at another mare's flank the same way as I did yours. You were the only mare that I ever truly loved… and I know you would want me to be happy and move on… but… I don't know if I can…"
Grimm glanced towards the eerie air, feeling a tear stream down from his eyes.
"Eh, I still remember…the day we met…the day everything changed for me…" Grimm recalled sadly.
Little over thirty years earlier…
It was a warm summer day at the beach, down at the Palomino Canals. Ponies of all ages and sizes were out, enjoying the sunshine and splashing in the cool cerulean waters.
Just a trot and a hop from the shoreline, located right on the beach, was a nice tiki bar, where there was a familiar stallion, just moping at the bar.
Grimiore Napoleon looked a lot younger compared to today, as his mane and mustache was completely black, and for his age, looked like a strapping young stallion that could easily attract the attention of many mares…
Yet, he only let out a sigh.
"Hey, bro!" A familiar, yet squeaky voice called out.
The young Grim glanced over, as an even younger Caboose came up to the bar. His mane was messy, and he had the body of a gangly teenager.
"Hey, whatcha doin', bro? Shouldn't you be out here, enjoying fun in the sun?" Caboose said in a chipper tone.
"Sorry, 'Boose, but I'm not one of those beach-goer kind of guys. We only came here because you won the straw picking contest." Grimm sighed.
"Well, that was pretty lucky! I almost never win that game." Caboose smiled.
Grimm stifled a smirk. The reason that was so was because Grimm had to practically strong-hoof his brothers into not 'cheating' this time.
"You shouldn't be spending all your time at a bar, Grimm. Take a load off, we're on vacation!" Caboose urged.
"For your information, Caboose, I am next in line for 'don' of the Napoleon Empire. Pops is counting on me to take over for him when he passes, and I can't afford to goof off." Grimm stated strongly.
"Oh, come on." Caboose whined, "Why can't you be fun for once? Murray and the others are out having fun!"
"And that's their business." Grimiore sighed, "But I'd rather be home right now, reading my books."
Caboose frowned. Work, work, work. That was all his older brother could think about. Of course, he was expected to become the next don of the family when their father was unable to carry out his duties, but shouldn't he be allowed to cut loose once in a while?
'If only there was a way for Grimmy to unwind…' Caboose thought to himself. As Caboose leaned against the bar, looking upon the beach, his eyes caught the sight of a mare walking along the beach.
The mare was about the same age as his brother, a light brown-coated Earth Pony with a short brunette mane. She had real cute blue eyes and a broom sweeping dust for a Cutie Mark. She was very pretty.
Caboose glanced at the mare, then at Grimm, still moping… and thought up a brilliant idea.
"Would maybe a mare change your mind, Grimm?" Caboose hinted.
Grimm scoffed, "A mare, Caboose? Do you honestly think I have time for a-" As he turned towards Caboose to shoot him down, the younger brother was gone. Then Grim glanced out and saw Caboose heading towards the mare.
"Gosh darn it, Caboose…" Grimm growled as he ran after him.
Caboose came into contact with the said mare.
"Hello!" Caboose greeted.
"Oh… hello." The mare replied awkwardly.
"I'm Caboose!" Caboose smiled.
"Sandy." The mare replied.
"Nice to meet you." Caboose smiled. "You know, you look like you could use a date."
"Umm, no offense to you… but aren't you a little young for me?" Sandy glanced at him awkwardly.
"Oh no, I'm not asking you out with me, I'm asking you out for my brother." Caboose smiled.
"Brother?"
"Caboose!"
Grimm finally caught up, a little steamed.
"I don't know what you are thinking, but I do not want you to set me-" He suddenly stopped, as he saw the mare Caboose was talking to, "Oh… hello."
"Hi." Sandy smiled.
"Sandy, have you met my brother Grimoire?" Caboose introduced.
"No I haven't… though I am now interested." Sandy smirked. "My name is Sandstorm Speck… but you can call me Sandy. Pleased to meet you."
"Uh… likewise…" Grimoire awkwardly replied.
"Well, I think you two have a lot to talk about, so I'll let you have at it." Caboose smiled, as he walked away.
"Caboose, wait, you can't-" Grimm stammered after the younger brother, only to be faced with Sandy again. "Sorry about that. My brother can be kind of impulsive."
"That's okay." Sandy smiled. "Sometimes, acting on impulse is a good thing."
"So, uh..." Grimoire said nervously. "Would you like to... take a walk? With me, I mean?"
"I'd love to." Sandy beamed.
The two walked down the beach, talking about each other. As they walked, Sandy nuzzled against Grimoire, producing in him a feeling he had never felt before.
"I, I..." Grimoire stuttered, words failing him. All he could do was nuzzle her back-
The Present...
Grimoire was ripped right out of his memories when his hoof caught an overgrown root. Instantly, he tripped and tumbled into a patch of very strange flowers…
"Ow…son of a-" Grimm growled, "What the buck is this stuff?" He asked. "Never seen anything liiiike it..." He voice suddenly turned into a mumbling drawl. "What the-what's with my voice?" Suddenly, he began rubbing the chin of his snout. "And why does my chin itch so much?"
"Pardon me, sir."
Grimoire turned to see a cloaked mare nearby, standing just outside the patch.
"It seems that you had been unfortunate, for these flowers brings upon great misfortune." The mare declared. "Those flowers of blue are poison joke, and it has quite an effect on pony folk."
"My voice and my chin..." Grimoire frowned. "It did this."
"That it did, this much is true." The mare nodded. "Follow me, and I will make a cure for you."
"Thanks." Grimoire said, relieved, while rubbing his chin still. "I'm Grimoire, by the way. Grimoire Napoleon"
"A hearty greeting from me." The mare nodded. "My own name, Zecora, it be."
"A pleasure." Grimoire nodded.
Grimoire followed the mare to a small hut. As they entered, she removed her cloak, revealing herself to be a zebra. Grimm was quite shocked by how youthful she looked, despite her age.
'Whoa, that's one pretty face.' He thought. 'And the rest of her don't look too bad either, hubba-no, bad Grimm! That's Vinny talking, not you!'
"Please wait here." Zecora told Grim. "The cure to your ailment is near."
As Zecora brewed a special herbal tea, Grimoire's mind was going into overdrive.
'Hmm, maybe I should try to flirt with her. Work the old Napoleon charm...' He mused.
He was about to say something…however, as he was going to do so, he came to an awful realization. He had nothing to say. '...Oh bloody hay… I don't have any experience! It was because of Caboose that Sandy and I got together in the first place… and since I got her pregnant and married her… I never flirted with another mare since… oh buck, buck, BUCK!'
Zecora glanced back at Grim, noticing how quiet he was. "Is everything alright? You seem quiet as the night…"
Grimoire gulped.
'Come on, Grimm, you gotta say something. Try to make small talk and work from there. Yeah, that will work…'
"Oh, everything's f-fine." Grimm replied, his voice barely rising above a mumble, "So, um, where are you from?" He asked.
"I hail from the land of Zebrica, good guest." Zecora replied. "It has been many years since I left the nest."
"Ah yes, Zebrica." Grimoire smiled. "Lots of beautiful zebra mares there." He suddenly put his hoof over his mouth. 'Lots of beautiful zebra mares?! By gosh, are you a stallion, or a pig?'
"Let's move on." Grimoire sighed. "What is it you do here?"
"There is much that I can do." Zecora answered. "I learn, I meditate, and I whip up brews." She pointed to her mixing pot.
"Brews, huh?" Grimoire smiled. "I like a good brew. I hear you equines are really good at- Wait, I didn't mean 'you equines' as in 'you' equines. I-"
"Stop before you say any more." Zecora rolled her eyes. "I must ask, have you never done this before?"
"Done what before?" Grimoire asked.
"Flirting." Zecora said simply.
"...No. I am sincerely sorry, miss Zecora." Grimoire apologized. "It's just... I've never really flirted with 'another mare', especially a zebra mare... not that I have a problem with zebras, hay, my great great uncle was a zebra-"
"Be calm, my friend... you did not offend." Zecora smiled.
"Thanks... look, I was only trying to flirt was because I am here in town helping my soon-to-be sister in law get ready for her wedding to my younger brother." Grimoire informed her. "My other brothers are out getting dates for the wedding, and Daring suggested that I get a date as well, though I didn't plan to-why the buck I am rambling, that is so unlike me.."
"Here." Zecora gave him a cup of the tea she had just finished brewing. "May this herbal brew undo, what the poison joke has done to you.
Grimm sighed, as he sipped the tea. His voice was still dull and mumbly.
"Look, let me level with you... you are the first mare that I have tried to court in a long time." Grimoire confessed. "You see, I got married early under certain circumstances, and I spent thirty long years happily married to my wife. She passed away a couple of years ago, and I never really had the time to move on from her. It's not like I didn't want to or anything but..."
"Hmm, it seems your heart has taken quite a toll, and the pain had not yet dulled." Zecora noted. "What was her name?"
"...Sandy... Sandy Speck." Grimoire sighed. "Sorry, I probably already blew it with you with the bad flirting and telling you about my late wife..."
"Do not be so hard on yourself, Grim." Zecora said kindly. "My view of you has not been dimmed... In truth, I can relate. For I had a love that is now late."
"You did?" Grimoire asked. "Um, mind telling me about it? I mean, if you don't mind…"
"Of course not, let me take a spot." Zecora sat down. "Our love in Zebrica, it began, and it grew as love can. He was named Zou, a zebra handsome and true. Into love, we did fall, and we did hope to share it all. But lost he was one day, into the dirt he did lay. He was attacked by a beast so foul, his injuries so great, his body threw in the towel. With his last breathe, he did say, he loved me from the very first day."
"Oh. I'm so sorry." Grimoire apologized. "Seemed like he was a stand-up guy."
"While pain I still feel, time has allowed me to heal." Zecora sighed. "You should feel sorry none, for live goes on."
"Indeed it does." Grimoire agreed, as his voice suddenly returned to normal. "Hey, my voice is back! And the itching is gone as well. What a relief!"
Zecora looked at him, taken aback.
"What? Is something wrong?" Grimoire asked.
"Your voice, it sounds so... bold." Zecora admitted. "Something about it... seems to move the soul."
"Really?" Grimoire asked, quite surprised. "I always thought of my voice as authoritative and intimidating... but soul-moving?"
"Indeed, my friend." Zecora nodded. "A voice like that can move somepony to no end."
"Gee, thanks." Grimoire blushed. "I never really thought of it that way."
"Perhaps you can tell me something about yourself?" Zecora asked. "Are you a pony of poverty, or wealth?"
"Well, Zecora, I hope you are comfortable, because I have a lot to tell you." Grimm smirked.
As Grimoire told Zecora the usual story about the 'legitimate' side of his empire, then moving on to the ways of his homeland, she began to note distinguishing features about him that seemed alluring to her.
'That brow is so defined.' She thought. 'It looks so smart, and how!'
Even as she joined in the conversation, comparing the ways of Bitaly to Zebrica, she still couldn't steer her thoughts away from him.
'Such a strong chin.' She thought. 'And handsome eyes, that make my stomach spin!'
"I'll have you know… I've missed having talks like this with Sandy..." Grimoire sighed. "It feels almost the same as well."
"The feeling is mutual, my friend." Zecora replied. "I must say, you fascinate me to no end..."
"Same here..." Grimoire whispered.
The two shared smiles, as their snouts suddenly began to close in towards each other.
"Um... Zecora, are you feeling what I am feeling?" Grimm asked, oblivious to how close they were getting, "Because I would hate to overstep my bounds…"
"No, not at all... I have not felt the company of another stallion for quite some time... maybe, for once, I like to do more than speaking..." She blushed. "...Rhymes...
"Well, if it is any consolation, I find your limerick-speaking kinda cute... not to mention a bit... sultry" Grimoire smiled, a hint of seduction in his voice, making Zecora blush even harder.
Their snouts were moments from connecting when suddenly the door opened and princess Twilight Sparkle entered.
"Zecora?" She called. "Are you in here? I was hoping we could talk for a-what in Celestia's name?!"
Grimm and Zecora instantly backed away from each other, as Grimm readjusted his tie and Zecora cleared her throat.
"Hey, I know you." Twilight looked at Grimm. "Aren't you Prince Blueblood's father-in-law? What are you doing here? ...And with Zecora?"
"Oh, uh-um, Miss Zecora here was only helping with curing me of this Poison Joke affliction." Grimoire said nervously. "Nothing more, nothing less... especially nothing more."
"He speaks the truth." Zecora added. "Check my brew, if you seek proof."
"Oh, okay." Twilight nodded, "However that still doesn't explain why you're here…"
"Uh…" Grimoire trailed off, when he suddenly remembered and leapt up. "Oh, I remember now! I came out here to pick up some star spider silk for Rarity. Zecora, do you any to spare?"
"Indeed I do." Zecora nodded, still feeling a bit... flustered by their almost kiss. She gave him a small box. "This should be enough for Rarity's dress of new."
"Thank you." Grimoire took the box, as he gave one last glance to Zecora. "I'll see you two around…"
Grimoire made his way out of the hut.
"Can't believe I was court-blocked by a princess..." He muttered under his breath. "What are the bucking odds of that?"
"Wait!" Zecora yelled, following him. "Did you earlier mention something about a wedding, and a desire for a date?"
"Yes, I did." Grimoire nodded.
"I would be delighted to be your escort to that event." Zecora declared. "And maybe we can pick up where we left off, as was our previous intent. But for now..." She nuzzled deeply under Grimoire's chin.
"That would be... nice." Grimoire smiled, his words failing him… just as they did thirty years back.
"Until then, I shall count the moments until we meet again." Zecora smiled as she returned to the hut.
Grimoire was left love-struck, as he made his way back to the Boutique…
"I got a date…" Grimm sighed.
He was soon coming across the patch of Poison Joke once more… but with a surprisingly accurate and powerful blast from his horn, the patch was reduced to ashes, as Grimm continued in his daze.
"I got a date…" Grimm repeated.
Eventually, he arrived back at the Boutique, where Daring, Rainbow, and Rarity were waiting outside.
"What took you so long?" Rainbow asked when he returned.
"Yes, the directions to Zecora's hut were perfectly clear." Rarity stated, "It shouldn't been so hard to find her place…"
"I, uh..." Grimoire blushed.
"Wait a minute..." Daring walked up to Grimoire and examined him closely. "Burning red cheeks, sweating brows,.." She put her head close to his chest. "...Erratic beating heart." She looked at Grimm's dazed face. "And an unnaturally happy face." She smirked knowingly. "I think old Grimmy here got himself a date."
"Ooh... and I think I know who... never took Zecora to be your type, Mr. Napoleon." Rarity chuckled.
"Man, no wonder there are so many of you Napoleon dudes... you guys must be love gurus or something." Rainbow declared.
"Oh yes..." Grimoire sighed heavily. "This old stallion's still got it."
"I trust you've also got the star spider silk?" Rarity asked.
"Oh, right!" Grimoire nodded. "Right here!"
"Excellent." Rarity smiled. "Come along, Daring, it's time to put the finishing touches on that dress!"
The three mares went back inside the Boutique, and Grimm was moments from joining them… but then he glanced up towards the sky.
"I'll always love you, Sandy." He admitted. "But I think the time has come for me to move on. You understand, don't you?"
Grimm stood there in silence, only to feel a odd breeze through the air.
"...Thank you, Sandy. I'll never forget you." Grimm smiled.
Grimoire kissed the tip of his hoof and raised it to the sky, and without another word, he returned inside.
Meanwhile, back in Bitaly...
Caboose went into Grimoire's study, looking to achieve item #80 on his list.
"Sit in Grimm's 'don' chair, and smoke one of his imported cigars." Caboose read the list, "Sounds simple enough. Let's do this!" Caboose smirked.
The youngest Napoleon brother made his way and eased himself into the chair.
"Ooh, comfy. No wonder Grimm enjoys doing this. Kinda makes me feel like one of those James Buck villains." He chuckled. "Now, where are those cigars?"
As he rifled through Grimoire's desk, he found a small plate with the name 'Archie' written on it.
"Archie?" Caboose glanced at the name, quite confused with what it could mean…but then came to a conclusion, "Oh, Grimm must be a fan of that red-head pony from the comic books. Never took him for a comic book fan..."
With a shrug, he continued rifling before finally finding a cigar. "Ah-ha!"
Caboose lit the cigar with his horn, and leaned back in the chair.
"Ah, this is the life..." He sighed, letting out a puff. "I could get used to this."
As he leaned further back, he accidentally pushed the switch that lowered the chair.
"Whoops!" He gulped, accidentally taking in a mouthful of smoke. Caboose had never been much of a smoker, and he was about to pay for it. "Augh!"
Caboose coughed violently, spitting the cigar out onto the desk, which then caught fire. Wide-eyed, he took out his list.
"Item #81, set something on fire... check." Caboose gulped. "Next item... flail your hooves around in panic like one of those puppet characters while yelling like a madpony."
He paused.
"FIRE!" Caboose cried as he ran out of the room, flailing his front hooves in the air.