Play this song, listen while reading. (50 Ways to Say Goodbye, by Train)
Mah heart is paralyzed
Mah head grew three times in size
She came down like a meteor
Eaten by a manticore
Drowned in quicksand
Killed on command
Chomped by a bear trap
Super duper dragon bitch slap
Stabbed in the back
tied to train tracks
Slept with a shady pony
Caught an STD from the phony
Reenacted assassins’ creed
Oh gosh, watch her bleed
Chorus:
Apples! Apples!
Ah don’t know what ta do!
Aliens and time travel through spaaaaace!!!!
Stepped on a landmine
Sliced by a turbine
Explosion in a coal mine
Constricted by a magic vine
Listened to the Lullaby
Accidently threatened Fluttershy
Fell during a rock climb
Committed thought crime
Blew up miniluv
Attacked by two turtledoves
Exploding partridge in a pear tree
Help, I’m trapped in an episode of Glee
Sucked into a portal
Ah really am immortal!
Chorus:
Apples! Apples!
Ah don’t know what ta do!
Aliens and time travel through spaaaaace!!!!
Hit by a rocket sled
Crushed by a hospital bed
Flinched at high noon
Crushed by the falling moon
Drowned in a puddle
Giant hydra cuddle
Trapped in a mudslide
Demonic cart ride
Stung by killer bees
Tried to stop a crime spree
Hayroshima, Neighgasaki
Crushed by a tree
Crashed into a jet ski
Stranded out to sea
Faulty parachute
Attacked with a lute
Eaten by monster slime
Angered a petty mime
Burned at the stake
Very old chariot brakes
Bitten by a snake
Ate way too much cake
Once got a vampire bite
Went towards the light (They made me go back)
Hanged at sundown
Holy smokes! Monster clown!
Fell down a mine shaft
Not good at real life minecraft
Blown up by a creeper
Punched out the grim reaper
Tried to stop a serial killer
This line is purely filler
Locked in a washing machine
Crushed by a flat screen
Choked on an eclair
Ran out of air
Why is this so long?
This is the neverending song!
Chorus:
Apples! Apples!
Ah don’t know what ta do!
Aliens and time travel through spaaaaace!!!!
Died by the cutie pox
Rammed by a large ox
Beaten by a minotaur
Slammed headfirst into a door
Slashed by a griffon
Spontaneous combustion
Bitten by a zombie
Hit by a tsunami
Beheaded, sliced and diced, grinded
Flew an airplane while blinded
Melted by acid
Ate poisoned salad
Cooked into pony soup
Joined a really bad support group
Took part in a civil war
Fell down a trap door
Best friends with Trotsky
Shot by a bunch of nazis
Extreme dehydration
followed by heat exhaustion
Chorus:
Apples! Apples!
Ah don’t know what ta do!
Aliens and time travel through spaaaaace!!!!
Flamed by a lantern
Died by freezer burn
Doused in kerosene
Hit by a deadly laser beam
Sank into the ocean
Bullets in slow motion
Sneezed during a joust
Screwed over by Faust
Stabbed with a butter knife
Extremely jealous wife
Jumped off a cliff
Recited a cursed hieroglyph
Because of an apple pie
there are a thousand ways to die~
Switch to this song now with this link.
(Friendship Is Witchcraft’s It’ll be OK)
Got into a bar fight
Sometimes Ah lay awake at night
Ah gave ya mah heart
And then ya turned around (Ah perished)
Ah gave ya mah kidneys
And then ya turned around (Dead in three hours)
Ah gave ya mah lungs
And then ya turned around (Saw it coming)
This. Is. It.
No more organs for you.
Say ‘Buck You’
And Ah’ll see to it
Because this is how it goes
Everything’s gonna blow~ (away)
"A Thousand Ways to Die"
Performed by Sapphire Shores
Lyrics by Applejack and Zecora
Composition by Octavia Melody
When the Egg hatches
The Story will begin Anew
The One whose flames burn bright
Born of Fire
Raised by Pony Magic
The One who traveled the seven seas
Taught to Fly in Sky
And Protected by the Earth
Thou Shalt court the Mare of Darkness
She who is hidden in plain sight
Powered by Love
Defeater of the Alicorn of the Above
The One will face the Truth
And will have to play Sleuth
Reveal the Darkness hidden in the Sunlight
Greed shalt be Thy Bane
And Companionship Thy Boon
Whose Past is connected to Nightmare Moon
Whose Present Lies in Life
And Whose Future cannot be Read
Even by Those who See
Whose Memories will be thy Shield
Thoughts will be thy Armor
And Actions will be thy Sword
The One, protector of the Weak
Defeater of Tyrants
Stronger and more able than the Alicorns
Cursed to watch thy friends die
As the Ages pass
Lying in wait
Gathering allies
In Preparation
For the Final Confrontation
And in the End
Three and Six shall converge
And Give Rise to Four and Infinity
Life Lost will bring forth
A New Age
-Excerpt from Predictions and Prophecies, page 63. Originally predicted by Sybilline Sisterhood
Translated by Lyra Heartstrings, PhD, published 1616 AD.
Mare of Darkness, Mare of Darkness
She who is hidden in plain sight
Powered by Love
Defeater of the Alicorn of the Above
Who is she? And why does she sound so familiar?
Her irises of pure green
Forever watching
Forever hidden
Forever guiding
Reborn with every generation
Her strength has no limits
Her endurance no bounds
Her wit and cunning unmatched
Knowledge of the unknown
Rebel against the Tyrant
Allies both old and new
Shall help her in her quest
To change…
Exoskeleton of Disguise
Beware the Supermare!
Magic, flight, unimaginably strong!
She who is above right and wrong!
Infinitely old and infinitely wise
Crushes all of those whom she despise!
Pegasus, Earth Pony, Unicorn
All in one
Control over the heavens
Stars above and ground below
Ruler over all, far and wide
Everyone, even us heathens
Wisdom and strength collide
Together in her graceful stride!
Bringer of Healing
Bringer of Fame
Bringer of Death
Bringer of Destruction
Beware the Supermare!
Beware the Supermare!
Stars above shall fall from the heavens
Crushed by the iron dragon
That is the juggernaut
The being known as Alicorn!
We are the Defeated
We are the Forgotten
Lost through history
We are not even memories
We are those who lost the battle
We lost to the Supermare
Now our children take up our mantle
Continue the fight!
We have not lost until we give up!
We hide in the shadows
Lost in Darkness
And we will rise again
Bring down the tyrant
Maker have mercy on our souls!
Let us stop destiny
And the chosen roles!
We are not broken
We are not fixed
We are not Good
We are not Evil
But we will fight!
Beware the Supermare!
Beware the Supermare!
For Princess and Province
For Queen and Country
For Friends and Family
For Everypony!
She is an obstacle
A wall to climb over
To reach the spectacle
Our true goal
We must unite
Together in the fight!
Combine our talents
Become one!
We three tribes
Forced together
Time and Time again
We will fight
Eternity is at our grasp
Against the Supermare
Here comes the drumming
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
na~ na~ na~
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.