//------------------------------// // [2] I'm...Not Dead?... // Story: Another Displaced Human Dilemma // by The Grey Pegasus //------------------------------// Another Displaced Human Dilemma By: The 'Main Character of the Story' < 2 > I'm... Not Dead?... Bleary and dazed I awaken! ... I think I should've made a better reentry than those first thoughts. 'I'm alive' and 'I'm awake'... Eh, I guess it's justifiable. Aaaaanyways, I felt my hind legs loosen, so I moved them. Yup. Definitely meant I woke up. My legs were always the first to move when I woke up; I guess muscle memory carries over. "Oh hey... I'm alive." I looked around at my surroundings. The Everfree Forest. However, it looked a lot less creepy and more like... a normal forest. With normal levels of creepiness. On a higher note, even with the super-creepiness overlay removed, I recognized this as the spot I landed at. I slowly got to my hooves, taking a feel for my body and going through a general 'waking up' routine of stretching out. My wings gave a satisfying pop as I stretched. Damn, wings are awesome. Two extra appendages to stretch out and pop pleasantly. "Oh hey, I don't think I got tentacle raped. Neat. That's good." I breathed a sigh of relief. My body didn't feel sore or anything, or violated in general—it was a safe assumption, and one I was willing to believe. Actually, I just felt exhausted. Like I've been asleep for a month. Or two. Or... The air gave a strange feeling around me. "Oh, what did I do now?!" "Ow!" I exclaimed as a saddlebag materialized from a direction from my right, evidently with some momentum, hitting me in the head. "Oh, gee, thanks," I grumbled, picking up the bag and slinging it on. Frankly, after just waking up, I felt lost. Like I completely lost track of what my plans were. Slowly, threads of memories swirled back into my head as it pushed the drowsiness out. "Oh yeah, that's right. I was on my journey to do... things." I had a feeling that my planned step one was to get to Ponyville. Giving my slightly ruffled but mostly serviceable grey wings a test flap, I felt like the skies were finally a safe place to fly in. Once again, I began the process of letting instinct take over and within maybe a minute, I was cruising along at a decent pace. I was about as comfortable flying as one could be after passing out on the ground, sleeping on a forest floor for who knows how long, and waking up still in Equestria, clearly not a dream, clearly still being new to the whole pony body thing. About the length of time I was out, it really didn't help that when I was knocked out, the time of day was... not very discernible. All I knew about the time at the current moment was that it was nighttime. Luna's moon had this nice radiance to it, and the stars were— "Whoop." —Were distracting me from flying. Obviously one should not multitask when learning how to fly. Going around the tree I nearly flew into, the leaves rustled as I passed by. Flying high enough to see over the canopy, Ponyville was actually quite a distance away. But at least I was high enough not to worry about flying into trees. And yet somehow, even in the dire situation of being stuck in an unknown land, I was still amazingly unmotivated to fly that distance if I could afford not to. Maybe I should just stop at Fluttershy's place. I flew in quiet mental silence for a few seconds. ... Yeeaahh... Noo... Maybe?... ... Maybe I'll just stick with a cloud. Besides, they've got to be comfy, right? According to Rainbow Dash, at least. I pitched up, resolved to make my bedding on a low flying clump of suspended ice particles, determined to make that fact as comfortable as I could in my head. Being a relatively clear night, it took a bit of flying to actually reach one twin-sized cloud. Seriously, that's how clear the sky was. Despite the clear skies though, there was definitely a current up here. Still, after finally settling on said cloud, I found that it was, in fact, quite comfy. Especially compared to the forest floor. Somehow, it wasn't even that cold. Maybe it's a pegasi thing. I laid the saddlebag thrown at me earlier down beside me and resigned myself to my impulse to sleep. <<+>> I groaned as I woke up. Cracking my eyes open, there was a bright light. But nope, it was definitely still dark out. Man, that moon is bright. But that aspect of the night sky wasn't the one immediately concerning me. Even with a nice fur coat, the night air was still noticeably cool. Then a thought came to me. 'But... isn't it summer? Wait, it's supposed to be warm outside, right?' I wondered, scratching my head. I'm getting this notion that there's something about a summer celebration happening real soon, but the rest of it won't come to me, likely the product of laser-guided amnesia. Still, I haven't gotten some sort of clever reply from myself, so I guess that meant I'm either doing my best to make this story make sense, there's been a lot of backspaces, or I'm just really stuck in the strangeness of Equestria. I sat up to take a look at my surroundings. And boy, was that a bit surprising. Ponyville was on the opposite side of me from where it was was when I went to sleep. I quickly surmised what happened. "Oh, so there's a current up here. I... guess that makes sense. Maybe that's why it's a bit cool up here too? Ah, what the hell am I talking about, I ain't no meteorologist." Scanning the town from my new angle, I found that I had drifted all the way across to the other side of town. In fact, near by, the trees took on a fairly organized pattern. "Oh! I'm near Sweet Apple Acres! By the convenience of the plot..." I waited. "No? No comments from me yet? Surprising." I know I was definitely not dreaming about earlier, and this was definitely still just some crazy story. After all, the bag of bits next to me didn't come from nowhere. ... Wait, yes—no-... you get what I mean. There's something about the night that brings out my audacious side. I'm willing to bet this is being written some time after 12 AM. But it's not restricted to my writing. Nope, that just describes me in general. I swung the saddlebag onto my back and leapt from my perch. All traces of sleepiness were left on that cloud, because as I flew down, I was already wide awake and alert. I had an idea in my mind, forming as I glided down to my destination. I was headed for the closest place of relative importance—the Sweet Apple Acres farmhouse. As I got closer to the orchard, the air became comfortably warm and humid, just as the summer nights I remembered. It must have been something to do with their weather management. Now the plan involved cunning, skill, a number of gambles regarding coincidences that needed to happen (and were going to happen, I'm sure of it), and a mindset of someone that really should just be sleeping instead. With most of those items checked off, I dove closer and closer to the humble home. And to my partial surprise, step one was as easy as I imagined it to be. Windows were cracked open along the walls of the house. And now, for step two. Actually, step one-point-five. ... Still no author comment? Hm. Okay, step two. I half-flew, half-clambered my way at the second floor of the outside of the house, not having completely mastered precision flight yet. I began with the closest window to me, taking a look inside. It was- Wow. No way, already? "Well, no argument from me." Because of either plot convenience or lazy writing, I was able to climb right into Applejack's room. And then came the sort of hard part. Keeping as quiet as possible, I stepped around the room, reminding myself that I was in Equestria under the will of myself, and that it's been proved to myself that the author-me can bend reality. That totally made sense. This felt real and yet completely unreal. I focused on the second one, because being unreal is what all of this was running on. I kept that running through my head as I searched for a good way to reunite AJ with her parents. 'Hey! I elicited a reaction,' I exclaimed in my mind, continuing to step around on my light, silent, pegasus hooves. 'That... that's...' I stuttered in mental monologue/dialogue as I hefted a decently-sized plank I found in the corner as quietly as I could. 'That's the plan. And this definitely has some weight behind it.' 'It's a reality controlled by basically myself. And because of that, I'm going to have some fun messing around in it,' I thought as I tiphoofed towards my target, wings out in balance. 'I know. Sorta sucks. Maybe I should've just went straight to Fluttershy's place instead, huh. Not to mention this being so much work to make sure she doesn't wake up or have a chance to fight back.' I didn't respond. I was too focused. Man, she must be so exhausted to be out like this. With what little details were surfacing in my memory, combined with my entire experience earlier, I was sure it was an adventure involving the extra-hostile Everfree and the eternal twilight. And there I stood, right on the edge. Of the bed. All of the insane fanfiction-ness of one and a half chapters culminated in this single moment. I raised the plank and brought it down hard, something cracking. I brought the plank back up and examined it briefly. The moonlight revealed a small indentation. Also, Applejack stopped breathing, and was sort of bleeding. I prodded her with the plank. Definitely dead. Well, mission accomplished. I just screwed up the universe. 'What now?' I taunted myself. 'Can't follow through with any finely crafted stories you might have had in mind. Not when a main character's dead.' "Yeah, I know," I whispered. "Sucks. I just killed best pony. But hey! I can get away with crap like that because I'm basically a god here." "Well, when you've demonstrated that you have complete control over the universe, I've basically got all the chances I want. I could do all the ridiculous things I want and the next second, none of it happened. So, now that I got the whole 'screw with the system' thing out of my system, you can go ahead and undo all this now." "... What. Dude, I just killed a main character off. I just killed the apple pony! Who does, in fact, smell like apples. More specifically, sweat mixed with apples. When everything else within the area, from the air outside the window to the walls, smells like apples, that's the only distinctive feature... But again—I just killed AJ," I whispered matter of factly to the narration. "But you do. Which means I do. So why don't you just rewind time and set this all straight?" I clenched my eyes and sighed, sat down, and put a hoof to my face. "Well then. This is a development." So, now I learned that author-me is not necessarily on the same side as me. I guess there wouldn't be much of a story if I just went around with omnipotent abilities anyways. A serious story, at least, which I think was the idea from the beginning. And this really was serious stuff. This is reality for me as of this moment. "Huh." And even with all that, I had to remind myself that this was all just a story. A story taking place in a magical, fictional land with talking pastel ponies. "No matter how you put it, it's difficult to argue this is reality, given my surroundings." "Right, right. So, now I've got to deal with the effects of AJ being dead. First and foremost, I'm definitely going to be hunted down." "Well who knows? Maybe they'll put me on trial. I'd imagine Twilight would really like to go through the formalities for my punishment. Hey, maybe I could plead insanity. After all, I'm just a human-turned-pony from another universe currently stuck in a work of fiction written by myself in another universe." I scratched my head. "Oh, man. Even the testing process. Man, this story's going to suck for me." "I know, I know," I said irritatedly. I walked over to the window, putting my hooves on the sill before taking one last look at the recently deceased Applejack. "Dammit." I escaped from Ponyville's latest adventure, flying into the night. Too bad I won't be around to see it. Or at least the first half of it. <<+>> I found myself flying towards Canterlot. I had no set motive, so I reasoned that I wanted to see the city before I was restricted from showing myself anywhere. Obviously flying straight to the capital was a smart idea after just having killed a national hero and personal friend of the leadership. Ohhh... I forgot about Luna. Forget the possibility of any of the important ponies having the ability to sense another's death, I wonder if Luna could sense stuff happening in dreams. Or rather, ceasing to happen. Hopefully AJ was in NREM sleep. Listening to my intuition, I decided not to go to Canterlot, instead indefinitely extending my flight time. I surmised that I may have to encounter some city guards before actually getting into Canterlot. After all, they enforce no-fly zones over the capital here, too, right? Rather than trouble myself before my impending doom, I steered away from the mountain and headed elsewhere. I flew up higher into the sky, which was a challenge for me both physically and psychologically. However, remembering what I knew about flying, it was easier to cruise at higher altitudes. I'm not sure how much of a difference a thousand feet did, but probably some. I mean, wow, I could see everything from here. Against the stars on the horizon, I was sure there were some city lights in the distance. The Everfree forest was actually quite large, but even then, I could see its edges from high above. Hey, even Cloudsdale's liquid rainbow falls had a small radiance to them at this distance. Well, at least I was able to enjoy Equestria briefly before condemning myself to my current fate. I'm still sticking to the fact that killing an Element bearer is a significant and noteworthy thing. Even if it's a horrible, immoral thing to do that one shouldn't have done after just landing in a new universe. How was I going to deal with this? I could try running for a while. There was a substantial amount of bits in the bag. There is the small issue that I don't know the exchange rate around here, but I assume that there's enough to sustain me for a week of basic needs. Or enough as the plot demands. For a given length of time of 'a while'. With the flexible mechanics of magic, I had no clue how long I had. However, I'm going to assume that there's a spell to determine things like magical identities and whatnot, and somehow they're going to trace it to me from the crime scene. After all, I didn't account for having to hide my crime. I probably might as well have signed my name on the wall. Once they do determine who did it though, if they have records, which Twilight would have access to as a Princess I'd assume, I wouldn't be there! Because I didn't exist up until a couple of hours ago. Unfortunately, that doesn't change the fact that they know they could find who did it by then... Hopefully I could find a place to stay soon. All this exposition and narration is getting dull. <<+>> After flying for an indeterminate amount of time, I gave up and set myself down on the town closest to me at the end of my gliding descent, hoping to find a hotel as soon as possible. The town was nothing special, really. The traveling inn was nice though. For a decently sized room, it didn't cost much. Acting like an incredibly tired traveler, which wasn't all that difficult, considering my state, I was able to weave through the booking process without attracting any attention to the fact that I wasn't from around here. The attendant behind the desk himself was fairly considerate, likely sympathizing with the late-night aspect of it all. From it, I was able to get a small grasp of the currency around here and how much things cost. In my case especially, it was made a little simpler by only having two different bits in the bag. The best analogy I could come up with at the moment is that it's comparable to carrying around $20s and $5s. Breakfast was apparently at 7, and the clock read somewhere around 2, so I was going to get an acceptable amount of sleep. After all, when your previous life (and current life, technically) involved writing at the most ungodly hours and waking up before 6, this wasn't much different. Except for the part where every moment after breakfast, there was the possibility of getting slammed down by Royal Guards or maybe Twilight herself, or more likely in the latter case, Rainbow Dash. I laid down on the bed, going through what I was predicting to happen. Judging by the pace of events in the show, I figured that Twilight was going to come to a solution some time within the day, with the next day being the latest. Once that happened, there would either be a personal vendetta against me or a man(pony?)hunt sending tons of guards to find me. In that time, there may or may not be publicity of the situation. In the likely event there was, I wasn't sure how fast news travels around here, but I'll assume 'fast enough'. So maybe, by Day 3, if I make it past Day 2, at the best, I'd have to be really careful about where I step, and at the worst, I'm captured. Actually no, that's the second worse. The worst would be I'd be dead. On that thought, I again resigned to my inclination to sleep and take care of the rest once I got there.