//------------------------------// // Chapter Three. // Story: Meeting 'Father' // by Golden Paw //------------------------------// Chapter Three. Dustpan trotted unsteadily to his room, the whole day having been a massive shock to the system. After his little chat with Discord, Dustpan had been 'released' back into the normal world once again: The portal Discord had opened depositing the stallion back into the alleyway where he’d first met Screwball. By the hands of the main clock tower Dustpan discovered he'd been gone for most of the night and that morning was only a few of hours away. He was shattered, confused and more than a little frightened by the events of today, yesterday Dustpan reminded himself. Aching and looking forward to a warm comfy bed, he shuffled along the boarding house’ main corridor with weary steps. Each hoof fall caused the floor boards to creek and Dustpan winced at every sound. Maybe I’ll fall asleep and wake up tomorrow to find this was all just a very odd dream? Dustpan was just thinking he’d made it back to his own door unnoticed when the entrance across the way opened and a stern looking mare raised a candle which wobbled slightly in her magical grip, “Who’s that trotting about at this hour?” Dustpan smiled guiltily at Star Glancer before speaking in a quite tone, “Sorry Star, it’s just me.” The old brown unicorn peered at Dustpan with suspicious eyes over her half moon spectacles, “It’s four in the morning colt, what makes you think you can be sneaking around at this hour? I won’t hold with it, not in my house.” The landmare had a night cap on which hid the tight bun she always wore her mane in. Dustpan ran a hoof over his muzzle, how could he even begin to explain? “You see there was this mare and....” Star Glancer snorted, “Young colts these days, carrying on with fillies until the small hours. What is the world coming to? You should know better than to keep a girl up this late, what would her parents think?” Dustpan’s ear flattened with embarrassment as Glancer’s scolding washed over him, “Star it’s not like that at all I.....” Star Glancer held up a hoof and turned her nose up at him, “Nope, I don’t want to hear it Dusty. We will have a serious talk about your behaviour tomorrow.” Dustpan felt his shoulders droop, “Okay Star, I promise not to do it again.” Star Glancer continued to scrutinise Dustpan for a moment longer before nodding slightly, “Mhmmm, alright then.” The landmare's door closed and Dustpan gave a resigned sigh, just another problem to add to the growing pile. Fumbling for the lock in the renewed darkness Dustpan was able to open his door on the second try and stumbled into his apartment, his head hanging low before him. His room was just as Dustpan had left it, and its welcoming familiarity brought some calm to his stormy world. Not bothering to turn the lights on he threw off his cap, not caring it missed the hook, before collapsing onto his bed. Lying on his back Dustpan stared at the plain ceiling and mulled over the day. "Screwball is not my actual daughter you understand; orphaned when she was still very young, Screwball was brought to me having found it hard to settle into a number of foster homes," The melancholy voice of Discord drifted back to Dustpan as he lay there deep in thought. "Where she got the idea that I was her father I don't really know, but right from the word go Screwball called me that," Dustpan smiled at this memory, Discord wore a uncertain look which was kind of sweet on his miss-matched face. “I have tried every method I know and a few I don’t to try to cure her, but Screwball is an oddity even in my strange world.” Dustpan tossed and turned, his flank still sore from the rough treatment that day. The darkened room seemed suddenly oppressive as Dustpan recalled the parting words of Discord, “I’m sure you will be hearing from us again soon Dustpan, once Screwball gets an idea in her head it’s very hard to shake her from it.” Dustpan screwed up his face and rubbed his eyes, he’d had quite enough of madness and odd things thank you very much. He yawned widely, glanced at the clock and sighed, five twenty seven. With another yawn and stretch of his fore legs Dustpan closed his eyes in resignation. Tomorrow he needed to see if he still had a job and explain things to Star Glancer, neither prospect filled him with joy. If Dustpan was going to have any chance of salvaging this situation he was going to need at least some rest. Deciding that tomorrow could deal with itself Dustpan turned over and was soon snoring gently. The light lancing through the window felt warm and refreshing on Dustpan’s muzzle. He shifted his shoulders as he basked in the pleasant feeling. His stirring mind held vague recollections about a crazy pony along with a cackling monster, but Dustpan forced these disturbing thoughts to the back of his brain. He slowly tipped his head back and forth as he worked out the tension in his neck, pulling Clean Sweep’s cart had been a bigger strain on his frame than he originally thought. He’d have a word with Tip-bit about....... He winced as fresh memories drifted into his waking mind. Dustpan had yelled at Tip-bit and stormed out of the yard hadn’t he? The pony’s face scrunched up in distaste. I’ll have to apologise to him, and probably beg for my job again. Dustpan wasn’t ready for that right now and so turned over in his bed once more. Further recollections began forcing their way forward for Dustpan’s attention despite his best efforts to ignore them. The stern face of his landmare glared at him from last night and Dustpan groaned. No, today was not going to be fun. Heaving a heavy eyelid open Dustpan looked to the clock once again: Quarter to ten: Maybe Star would still have some breakfast left over for him? Emitting a groan Dustpan rolled over as sleep drained from his body and felt something soft and warm brush his muzzle. His curiosity peaked Dustpan opened his eyes again and was greeted by the fascinated face of Screwball staring right at him, her chin resting on his bed, he little propeller hat spinning lazily in the sunshine, “Oh hi Screwball...gyaaaa!” Dustpan leapt up on the bed and pressed his back against the wall; Screwball was lying on the floor, her four legs tucked under her and the pony’s chin resting on the covers. Her intense eyes watched Dustpan with riveted attention. “Morning sleepy head,” She said cheerfully as Dustpan held a hoof over his pounding heart, “I was afraid you’d sleep the whole day away.” Screwball stood up and looked about the simple apartment with a critical eye, “You know this place could do with some livening up, it’s very drab.” Dustpan just stared at Screwball in total astonishment, “What are you doing here?” Screwball tilted her head, “Talking to you silly.” She placed both fore hooves on the bed and leaned right in close to Dustpan before her face took on a suspicious expression, “What are you doing here?” Dustpan felt all the nervous terror of yesterday bubbling inside once more, Screwball was in his room, standing on his bed. A brief glance at the door showed it to still be locked and with rising panic he looked to the small window to see it was just a firmly secured. “Ho...how did you get in here?” Dustpan finally asked, trying his best to press himself further into the wall behind him. Screwball was now slowly trotting around the small space peering closely at everything, “Well that’s kind of a trade secret, if I told you who knows what you might take it into your head to do?” Screwball lifted Dustpan’s toothbrush with fascination, “Ooo-ooo; father told me about these, it’s a mane brush right?” To Dustpan’s horror Screwball began twisting the brush through her tangled violet strands, before he leaped off the bed with a cry, “No! That’s not what it’s for!” He raced up to Screwball and attempted to yank the brush from her hooves. “Hey I was only trying it out!” Screwball snapped back, grimly holding onto the tooth brush with the same deceptive strength she shown yesterday. Dustpan wrestled with the mare while the brush was pulled back and forth, “It’s...for...cleaning....your.....teeth!” Screwball’s eyes shone with comprehension, “Oh why didn’t you say so?” Without even pausing she pulled the brush free of Dustpan’s grip, letting the poor stallion fall to the floor and jammed the bristled end into her own mouth before scrubbing furiously. Dustpan covered his face with his hooves and let out a garbled moan as Screwball worked the brush around her mouth and even along her tongue, “Vell, hat’s new...” She commented as Dustpan watched cringing. Screwball finished her scrubbing before holding the implement out to Dustpan, “Okay so what else do you do in the mornings? A shower right?” Dustpan felt a chill running down his spine as he took the abused tooth brush and held it away from himself gingerly, “You don’t normally take showers?” Screwball’s face creased up in disgust, “Eww that’s gross Dusty, of course I do.” Screwball gave Dustpan a look of hurt indignation. “What do you take me for, some uncivilised diamond dog?” He breathed a sigh of relief before Screwball continued on in a matter of fact manner, “But not normally in the morning, it’s terribly hard to get the jam out of my coat in time for the day’s duties.” Dustpan blinked a few times before his brain caught up with what his ears had heard, “I....er....never mind.” He decided to try the first question again, “Why are you in my room Screwball?” Screwball smiled happily at Dustpan, “I want to know what ponies do of course. This whole morning stuff and then afternoon followed by night, it sounds really interesting.” Dustpan slowly sat up with a dawning look of dismay in his eyes, “You want to learn about a normal pony’s life?” Screwball nodded so furiously that Dustpan feared her head would fly off, “I want to see how you live.” The words bounced around in Dustpan’s head while he rubbed his temples with his hooves, “Wait, wait wait: You,” Dustpan pointed his hoof at Screwball, “Want to learn about how ponies live from me?” Dustpan pointed at his chest as his hopes that this was all just a bad dream evaporated. Screwball absentmindedly picked up Dustpan’s soap from his shower stall and sniffed it, “Yep that’s the idea.” Dustpan shuddered as Screwball stuck out her tongue, licked the bar and to Dustpan’s turning stomach bit a chunk out of it. He felt his guts tremble as Screwball chewed the soap with every sign of enjoyment. Swallowing hard Dustpan inquired further, “And Discord’s happy with this idea?” The last thing Dustpan needed right now was the 'ex-God of Chaos’ after his hide. Screwball swallowed and Dustpan winced, “Oh I’m sure father will be fine with it Dusty, in fact I think he will suggest it soon.” She paused in thought, “Or did he already?” before shrugging. Dustpan took a deep breath before continuing, “Okay, so I teach you about normal pony life and then you go back to your crazy world with Discord right?” A faint glimmer of hope could be seen at the end of the tunnel. Screwball had discovered the bathroom’s toilet roll hook and was busily spinning the thin paper into a tangled heap on the floor, “I guess so, though I still need to make up for all the bad things I did to you.” Dustpan felt another feeling of dread wash over him, “No, no that’s okay. You haven’t done most of the things you mentioned before. Maybe if you leave now they won’t happen at all?” Screwball tilted her head in a way Dustpan was starting to recognise, “No.....That wouldn’t work at all, I still need to get the hang of this causality thing, speaking of which....” To Dustpan’s shock Screwball left the bathroom at a dead gallop and cannoned straight for Dustpan. He didn’t have time to react at all before he was pinned to the floor by Screwball’s legs and her twitching eyes looked deeply into his own. As if on cue Dustpan’s door rang to the sound of knocking and Star Glancer’s voice called in. “Dusty, I need to know if you want some food?” The lock rattled as Star turned the key and slowly pushed the door open. Dustpan’s eyes grew wide as Screwball lent down and kissed him on the check just as the elderly unicorn’s smiling muzzled poked in, “I know I was a bit harsh with you last night and....” Dustpan rolled his eyes and struggled to escape from Screwball’s grasp, but to no avail. Star simply stood in the doorway her mouth open and a look of shock plainly visible through her spectacles. Screwball nuzzled in close before stroking Dustpan’s mane with a hoof. The trapped pony could see Star swelling with indignation and before he could explain she burst out in another angry torrent, “Mr Dustpan, it’s bad enough you choose to carry on until the early hours of the morning with your.....shenanigans: But you do not bring your shameful ways back to this boarding house do you hear me! This is a house of good standing and I will not tolerate such wanton behaviour under my roof!” With snort the old pony backed out, taking the steaming plate of food with her, “I want you out of my house by the end of the week Mr Dustpan!” He felt his heart sink as Screwball finally released her iron-hoof grip and smiled at him in a cheerful manner, “For example: How can I make up for you losing your home if you never lost it?” Dustpan just laid there, his mouth hanging open and his mind reeling from what had just happened. After taking a few seconds to gather his thoughts he glared at Screwball, “Now look what you’ve done!” Screwball’s ears drooped and her lip trembled in confusion as Dustpan got to his hooves and fixed her with a furious expression, “Enough! I’m not playing anymore; Screwball you are too much and I want you out of my room, out of my time and out of my life!” The trembling lip only increased and Screwball’s eyes filled with tears before a little sniffle escaped her, “But I thought you were my friend?” Dustpan’s face didn’t soften, “Friends do not lose their friends their jobs. Friends don’t get their friends bucked out of their homes Screwball!” Screwball seemed to shrink as she leaned back from Dustpan’s tirade, a look of utter confusion in her streaming eyes, “I just wanted to.....” Dustpan cut her off, “No Screwball, find some other sap to be crazy at.” He pointed a trembling hoof at the door, “Go.” Screwball gave Dustpan another pleading look, tears running down her cheeks before she bolted for the door. She didn’t even try to open it and before Dustpan could stop her she ran head first into the wood before sitting down heavily holding her head. The boiling anger in Dustpan’s heart cooled a little as the poor mare stared back him in confusion and stammered, “Wha....it didn’t work?” Dustpan felt wretched as Screwball frantically felt around the door and its frame, pushing at the solid wood as if it should yield to her touch. The problem dawned on Dustpan as more tears fell from Screwball’s eyes: She’s not used to the normal world and it’s laws you stupid colt. She didn't even think to open the door. With scared eyes Screwball looked back to Dustpan who felt very small as he watched her struggle. She looked so timid and afraid and even though Dustpan was angry with her, he wasn’t made of stone. Trotting forward slowly he turned the handle, opened the door before pointing into the corridor, “I’m sorry Screwball but I’m not the pony to help you, please...just....just go.” Screwball bolted for the exit, wailing the whole time and Dustpan caught the disapproving gaze of Star Glancer watching the interchange with a grim face. He sighed before following Screwball, feeling the piercing glare of his landmare's disappointment all the way. As he caught up with Screwball, Dustpan found her struggling with the next door. Without saying anything he opened the door out into the street and with a grieved face watched Screwball gallop into the busy street, knocking into other ponies in her effort to get away. Slowly Dustpan trudged back up the stairs to his room, past the slowly shaking head of Star Glancer and back into his quarters. Finally he was rid of the crazy mare who’d been nothing but trouble since he’d first met her and now he could start putting his life back together again. He leaned down and straightened his bed linen before reaching down and picking up the discarded tooth brush. Dustpan stared at it for a long time before placing it back on the shelf with the half eaten soap and scrunched up his muzzle. She was only exploring a strange new world, did you have been so harsh? Dustpan shook his head even as his heart crumpled: Screwball was a menace, who in one day had turned Dustpan’s life upside down and cost him so much. Then why was he feeling so sorry for her? The tear stained face of the mare floated in Dustpan’s mind’s eye and he felt his chest tighten. He never wanted to see a pony cry, even if he felt justified in his actions. But I can’t be dealing with an insane filly, no matter how cute she acted. Dustpan glanced around his simple room which suddenly felt very small and confining for some reason. The things that he’d been proud of earning from himself didn’t fill that space in his heart that they once did. Above all he felt rotten; he’d made an innocent (if demented) mare cry. With another resigned sigh Dustpan finished arranging his room, collected his cap from the corner it had found its way to, left and shut his door behind him. Now who’s the crazy one huh? You’re really going after her? Dustpan pulled his cap over his eyes as he passed the doors either side of the corridor which seemed to be condemning him as he went, before pulling open the front door and stepping out into the sunny Canterlot day. To Dustpan’s astonishment the scene before him stretched but failed to admit him. Taking a few steps back, Dustpan poked a hoof forward and met with the same result. The image of the world outside the boarding house was just that, a picture. He felt a presence behind himself and the suddenly all the shadows looked a lot more menacing, “It seems we need to have another talk colt.” Dustpan’s ears flattened as he heard the cold tones of Discord behind him. Trembling he slowly turned around and saw that the inside of the boarding house had vanished to be replaced by a very real cracked, landscape which leaked green a blue fire from deep crevasses. Discord stood tall and imposing, all trace of the jovial humour of yesterday gone from his eyes, leaving only two burning coals of darkness in their place, “I see it’s time to lay down some rules for our ‘relationship’.” Dustpan felt the cold hard rock below him shake with each carefully spoken word and terror gripped him as Discord seemed to grow until he towered over the frightened pony. Lighting flashed overhead as comets of fire spiralled down from the heavens and Dustpan curled up into a shaking ball. “Even though I gave up the whole 'Lord of Chaos' gig years ago, I still have the power to turn you into a rubber chicken to be used by the hounds of Tartarus as a chew toy for the rest of eternity,” Discord’s voice wasn’t raised, but it still caused the ground to judder and small rocks to bounce. Dustpan covered his eyes with his hooves as Discord continued, “I felt it was important to remind you of this fact before we go any further Dustpan. Think on this the next time you talk to Screwball hmmm?” Dustpan braved a peek at Discord, who to his relief had returned to his normal size and was floating with his arms folded across his chest. The burning darkness had gone from his pupils, though the stern glare remained, “Now I understand that Screwball can be a bit of hoof full at times, she takes after me you see, but I will not have her first proper experience of the outside world in over ten years be tanited badly by you.” Dustpan swallowed as the boarding house began to fade back into to focus, the burning desolation vanishing once more to be replaced with solid floorboards and white walls. Discord still floated in the air before him however and waved an admonishing finger, “I don’t want to have this talk again Dustpan, and I would ask you nicely that you would take care of my little Screwball as she experiences the world.” Dustpan gulped, “Um I don’t have any choice in this do I?” Discord cackled as he spun loops in the air, “Oh there’s always a choice, you just have to live with the consequences.” His lion’s paw made a crushing gesture and out of nowhere the sound of s squeaky toy resounded around the hallway ominously. Dustpan smiled grimly as Discord’s meaning came across loud and clear, “Well I...er best get to it then right?” Discord simply grinned in reply and Dustpan opened the front door again, this time the real world of ponies going about their day greeted him. He cast a single glance back to see Discord had vanished with only the echoing sounds of his laughter lingering behind him before he trotted out to find Screwball. Quiet fell upon the hallway once again for only a brief while before Star Glancer peeked her nose out of her door. She smelled the air before glanced this way and that. She peered over the rims of her half moon spectacles before shaking her head sadly, “Oh Dusty, what have you gotten yourself mixed up in?” The elderly pony returned to her room, sat at her writing desk and began to pen a letter to an old friend of hers at the castle. Star knew there were some ponies who would be very interested to know of what had just happened in her boarding house today. Dear Princess Luna, Despite my best efforts to stay out of trouble it seems to have come knocking at my door regardless. I regret to inform you that He is up to his old tricks again. Though I don’t think it’s going to be like last time, I thought it best to inform you that.....