In retrospect, I should have expected something like this. In any case, all I did was just stand there while the wooden floor beneath me started to freeze. "Prince of the Crystal Empire and Captain of the Royal Guard? And I should care... why?"
Shining Armour nodded. "You're actually right there. The most I can serve is a distraction. Hopefully, I can contain you for the duration of this trip and whatever's going on out there."
At least he acknowledged his chances. "Look, I'm interested in the destination, Captain, but this sounds interesting. Please let the barrier down so that I can see what it is."
I cast a teleport spell, and was rewarded with being shoved back to my spot violently. I glared at the barrier and tried again with the same result. This was annoying. Shining Armour looked at me impassively, keeping a careful eye on me in case I escaped. I had to admit, this guy didn't let up against an obvious threat.
"It's designed to stop you simply teleporting out."
I admit, I was impressed slightly, but I was now annoyed. How dare he stop me from seeing interesting things. I walked up and held my fist an inch away from the surface."One Inch Punch."
My fist bounced off the barrier, with absolutely no visible damage. Shining Armour just facepalmed. "This barrier took a week to fall down, when city-sized, after I was brainwashed and barely functioning. It'll take a lot more than a little punch to break it."
This was going to be annoying. Twilight turned to me.
"I'm sorry Xante, but this is the one thing besides the original containment measure that can hold you, and you already broke out of that. So please stay still."
With that, they left me, with only the Captain of the Royal Guard for company. This was more than slightly annoying. I wasn't going to take this just sitting down and got to experimenting. First, a simple theory. Forming a square with my fingers, I flicked my hands and made it a cube. This was a pretty powerful piece of magic I was attempting, and I hadn't used this spell in what felt like forever.
"Immutable Cube!" My cube shot out into the barrier and attempted to cancel it out. Unfortunately, the purple barrier simply absorbed it. I raised an eyebrow, now a bit more impressed with the diligence and care that this Shining Armour had put into this prison.
"Useless. You think I wouldn't think of that?"
"I'm sorry for insulting you." I was too busy examining his barrier. It had behaved in a manner that no barrier I'd seen had ever done before. I'd never seen a barrier like that before. It opened on conscious orders, closed to anybody who wasn't allowed through, and it absorbed other barrier spells.
"Interesting barrier, by the way. Yours?" He nodded.
"This is nothing; usually it's on the scale of a large city."
"Highly interesting. You invent it yourself?"
He shook his head. "My sister came up with the basic idea of the spell. I improved it, made my own adjustments. Hers has different properties which I'm not going to tell you about, because you're trying to mine me for information, aren't you." It was more a statement than a threat.
I raised my hands in a defensive position. "It's a fair cop guvna." We sat still for a while. I was trying to work out what was so good and flexible about this barrier. It finally clicked and I grinned.
"Solid, liquid, gas."
Shining's head jerked up. "What was that?"
"Most barriers are solid. But yours is different. It's solid when you're stopping people from leaving, gaseous when allowing people to leave and liquid when it's neutralising threats. I've never seen anything like it in all my very long life."
Shining Armour instantly reinforced the barrier several times over. Xante raised an eyebrow. "You're a paranoid bastard, aren't you?" Shining Armour nodded.
"When you're a captain of the Royal Guard, you tend to get a bit paranoid about anything."
"Paranoia is a wise instinct to have." Xante gripped his gloves and took them off, the full force of his magic being let through.
Shining Armour watched this new development warily. Xante acting relatively serious was bad.
"And now, I am going to break out of here in the most spectacularly awesome way possible. In fact, it's so awesome, your brain is liable to explode. So cover your eyes, mr Prince Captain, or they'll melt out of your eyesockets with pure badassery." Magical power swelled up around me as I started the spell to get me out of this situation.
Elsewhere on the train...
The Elements of Harmony looked at the skies. It seemed that the creatures attacking the train were...
"Changelings!" Rarity gasped, pointing out the obvious.
Twilight squinted. These changelings seemed pretty desperate, although they didn't seem to be really focusing on the train as a whole. Rather, they were focused on Shining Armour's shield.
Twilight smacked herself in the face. Of course they'd focus on Shining Armour, given how much power Chrysalis had drained off of him in the past. She focused on the sky. If this was an operation to abduct Shining Armour and take his power again, then...
She spotted what she was looking for and grinned. Sure enough, buzzing on holey wings, was the Changeling Queen herself. Wearing an exaggerated suit of armour with a green and black tabard, she was focused wholly on that shield. Well, maybe they should change that a bit.
"Alright, we need to distract her. Rainbow, you go up and start fighting some of the soldiers. Pinkie Pie, get the party cannon set up on the roof. Applejack, lasso any of them who get too close. Rarity, Fluttershy, make sure that the crew are alright."
Each of them nodded, getting on with each of their assigned tasks. Rainbow Dash grinned. "Aw yeah, this is gonna be awesome." With a flap of her wings, she was in the sky, grappling with a couple of Changeling drones and tackling them.
"Who wants some of this, huh? Huh?" The Changeling drones looked at each other, shrugged and got to attacking.
A couple of Changelings tried to divebomb the carriage, but Pinkie Pie's party cannon hit them with a deadly barrage of cake, streamers, ribbons and punch bowls. Quickly reloading, it was fired again, taking out a couple more. Eventually, the Changelings decided that it was only prudent to stay the heck away from the crazy pink mare with the party artillery.
Twilight focused, magical energy building in her hands and horn. Deadly accurate sniper blasts of purple energy shot out, hitting several Changelings square in the chest. Her brief moment of triumph was cut short when the train suddenly jerked to a halt, and she shuddered as she felt a familiar magical presence, along with a shout:
"WHO ORDERED A LARGE HAM!"
That joke was never going to get old. I strode forwards, power flowing around me. Beside me, in an Immutable Cube, was Shining Armour. My super secret escape technique was totally awesome, and I get the feeling that if it were ever shown, people would be fawning over how awesome and unexpected it was! Man, I am on fire today. Twilight was looking at me as if I was some sort of mule or something. I waved at her. It was the polite thing to do.
"Honey, I'm home. Now, what's all this commotion?"
I looked up at the weird black insect ponies. I'd never seen beasties like these. It was time to question people. I looked up at Rainbow Dash, grappling with some of the creatures. I cupped my hands around my mouth and yelled.
"RAINBOW DASH!"
She seemed pretty annoyed with me, but she responded with a "YEAH?"
"WHAT'RE THOSE?"
"THEY'RE CALLED CHANGELINGS! THEY FEED OFF LOVE AND CAN SHAPESHIFT!"
Shapeshifting and love-feeding, eh?
"Elves..." I growled, feeling my magic boil within me. If there was one thing in the entire world I hated, it was elves. Another thing I hated was things that reminded me of elves. I couldn't help it. I hated their smug elitism, their condescending tree-hugging ways, their practically immortal nature... it was all way too much.
Twilight must have guessed at my intentions. "Xante, don't you DARE massacre them!"
I growled, the magic surrounding me making it sound like the last crushing sound that a glacier makes when it impacts with a town. I've heard that sound a lot in the past. "Elves! Bane of existence! Must destroy!"
"Don't you dare. You're going to massacre them because they bear a vague resemblance to 'elves,' or whatever? How petty can you get?"
I knew that I was being petty, but right at that moment I DIDN'T CARE. All I wanted was to beat the shit out of some elves.
"Fine, it'll be non-lethal. Happy now?" Without waiting for an answer, I cast a simple spell.
"Rainbow Flight."
I then shot upwards on a stream of rainbow magic projected from the bottom of my robes. The first Changeling thing I quickly grabbed by the horn and delivered a headbutt so powerful I cracked its chitin. I then used it as a living meatshield, throwing it at two of its companions to block their attacks. While they stood around gawking, I decided to humiliate them.
I got up really close, holding my fist an inch away from his gut.
"One Inch Punch."
I let fly, sending the poor Changeling hurtling backwards. I looked at the other Changelings. "Do you guys even know how to fight?"
The two Changelings communicated in an instant with each other.
No way am I facing that guy. As one Changeling, they quickly surrendered. He smiled.
"I'm loath to beat you smart guys up. You guys got any really useful skills?"
Drone 1, otherwise known as Xyleon, spoke up.
"Um... I learned how to cook a bit?"
"Good to know. How 'bout you?" The other Changeling, known as Greg, mumbled something about being able to plough a field. He grinned. "Welcome to the winning side. You're my serfs now." Chrysalis suddenly appeared behind him, swinging her kris wildly at him. He blocked the blow with his staff.
"It seems as if I have to go do stuff. Go down to the train in a peaceful, non-aggressive way. I'll see you guys there." He paused, knocking Chrysalis away.
"Hang on a moment."
I teleported back to the train carriage.
"Guess who just conducted a job interview in the middle of a battle."
Twilight rolled her eyes at me. "Right, let me guess-"
"THIS GUY."
A rainbow-coloured glow surrounded me, I raised both my middle fingers and pointed them at me. I then slowly backed up through the air, music blaring while I moved. All I missed was a pair of sunglasses, but those were hard to come by.
I then reappeared next to the larger one with hair. If there was one thing that life had told me, it was that a taller, possessing eyes, and actual haired member of a race of insects is always the leader. One of those things.
"I don't believe that I've had the-" I narrowly caught her kris as it swung to give me a vertical cut.
"-Whoa! Take it easy, girl!"
"Who are you?"
I smiled. "Be careful what you wish for, my dear." Rainbows surrounded me and I levitated slightly as I introduced myself.
"I am Xante, Baron of the Frozen Wastelands, First among Liches, Lord of the Dead, Fabulous Rainbow Magician, the Walking Ice Age, Lord of the Dance, Three Times Winner of Best Smile in the Land, Former Mayor of Sycamore Town, the Epic Level Lich, Sorceror/Monk Multiclass, Most Fabulous Undead in all the realm, The D, Elf-Murderer, Master of Face Punch, Big Sexy, Friend to Children, Current Mayor of the Necropolis, and Maker of the Best Ever Cheese Sandwich."
Chrysalis just stared at me, shaking with rage. I continued speaking, intent on pissing her off as much as I could.
"I also have a vacancy for a maid, if you're interested."
That got her properly angry. With a feral roar, she charged me, kris swinging overhead. I got up close and held my palm in front of me.
"Sex Monk Epic-Level Skill- Stimulation of the Chakra Gates!" With that, I shoved my glowing hand into the most important chakra gate- the Swahistana Gate. I always loved using the chakra gates to cause havoc with my opponents' bodies.
Back on the Train.
Twilight finally managed to crack the Immutable Cube. Shining Armour was released from his prison, cursing.
"That dirty bastard... using a-"
"OH~!"
Shining Armour raised an eyebrow at that voice.
"That's Chrysalis. Okay, what the hell did Xante-"
Xante reappeared, hands in pocket. Next to him, Chrysalis was... fawning over him like a lost puppy. And blushing heavily. He looked at Shining Armour.
"Ah, hello, Shining Armour. I see that Twilight took pity on you and let you out. Don't see why; I mean, you're-"
"Shining Armour is my brother."
"As good a person as could be expected of your position." Xante smoothly transitioned. Chrysalis glared at the Elements, and they glared back.
"Everybody, this is Chrysalis, my new maid. She'll be staying with Xyleon and Greg the Changelings. Oh, and there was something about a peace treaty as well."
Twilight was flabbergasted. "I...whuh...but..." She struggled for words for a while. Eventually:
"HOW?" She gripped Xante by the front of his robes, shaking him.
"Howhowhowhowhowhowhow-" She was cut off when frost started to form on her hands.
"That is a genuine spidersilk robe, woven by elven weavers to be untearable. They're currently working as my retainers, as they're wood elves, not those snooty high elves. Nevertheless, they crease easily. So please get off my robe."
Twilight jumped back and brushed frost off her hands as he continued. "As for how, you'll be wondering that for a while to come. Now, shall we get back to our destination? I want to get a new mirror set up as soon as possible."
The rest of the train ride was fairly uneventful. Xante and his new entourage were treated as a highly volatile timebomb that might go off at amy moment. Shining Armour kept far away from Chrysalis as she melted in Xante's lap like a bag of ice in a volcano. Pinkie Pie was talking to Xante avidly about a welcoming party, which Xante was agreeing to.
Even when being taken to a supposedly safe location, everything around Xante was distorted forever.