//------------------------------//
// Luna the LUMBERJACK 
// Story: Robot Scootaloo 
// by alarajrogers 
//------------------------------//

Princess Luna, in full regalia, strides out onto a stage, followed by the Mane 6.

Luna cries out in an impassioned voice, "We never truly wished to be Princess of the Night! We wished to be... A LUMBERJACK!"

Cue the music!

LUNA (sings): I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay
I work all night and I sleep all day

MANE 6 (sings): She's a lumberjack and she's okay
She works all night and she sleeps all day

LUNA (sings): I cut down trees, I eat my lunch
I go to the lavat'ry
On Wednesdays I go to Ponyville
And party with Pinkie

MANE 6 (sings): She cuts down trees, she eats 'er lunch
She goes to the lavat'ry
On Wednesdays she goes to Ponyville
And parties with Pinkie

PINKIE (jumps out of the group and directly into the camera for a moment): That's me!

(LUNA)/MANE 6 (sings): (I'm) She's a lumberjack and (I'm) she's okay
(I work) She works all night and (I sleep) she sleeps all day!

LUNA (sings): I cut down trees, I fly loop-de-loops
I lie back and gaze at stars
I dress up in tarty clothing
And hang around in bars

MANE 6 (sings): She cuts down trees, she flies in loops
she lays back to gaze at stars
She.. dresses in tarty clothing
And hangs around in bars?? (LOOKING AT EACH OTHER IN PUZZLEMENT)

(LUNA)/MANE 6 (RECOVERING, SINGING CHEERFULLY): (I'm) She's a lumberjack and (I'm) she's okay
(I work) She works all night and (I sleep) she sleeps all day!

LUNA (sings): I cut down trees
I wear short skirts
Socks and underwear
I wish I'd been a human
With tits way out to there (GESTURES WITH HOOVES)

MANE 6 (sings): She's a lumberjack... what? (NO LONGER SINGING)

RAINBOW: Did she just actually say "tits"?
FLUTTERSHY: Oh dear...
RARITY: Socks and underwear? (FAINTS)
APPLEJACK: Oh hayll no! (STOMPS OFF STAGE)
TWILIGHT (horrified): Oh, Princess! I thought you were so innocent! (RUNS AWAY CRYING)
(Pan to side, where we see DISCORD, leering, running a camera.) 
DISCORD (GLEEFULLY): Luna! Do go on!
CELESTIA (HITS DISCORD ON HEAD WITH FRYING PAN): No one leers at my sister! Even if she is a tart!
DISCORD (DIZZILY): Blueberry or blackberry? (FALLS OVER)

fwwwt