//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: Sitting Spoon // by Zombie Overlord Kog //------------------------------// You need the money, you need the money... That's been your mantra for the last fifteen minutes now. It's 10:30 in the damn morning. You shouldn't be forced to deal with this... "Anonymous! Are you listening?!" "Hmm? What's that?" You snap back to reality, that shrill voice making sure your attention is solely on her. Silver Spoon. This filly is doing a damn fine job in working your nerves. What with this...tea party nonsense. Silver has you dressed in an apron and frilly hat that belongs to her mother. And she had you seated in a chair small enough to where your knees are in danger of breaking your nose with one wrong jolt. "I said why aren't you drinking your tea!" Because there's nothing in the damn cup. That's what you want to say. But...you have to "humor" children, don't you? Especially if you want to make those sweet, sweet bits for this babysitting gig. So you smile, more like sneer, and bring the tiny teacup to your lips and down the imaginary beverage. "Ahh,", you say as deadpan as possible. Silver puffs out those gray cheeks and glares daggers at you. "You are a bad party guest!" You grit your teeth and force a pleasant demeanor. "...The tea is exquisite, Silver Spoon." "Miss Silver Spoon!" "Miss Silver Spoon." Chokin' here, you're chokin'... How much longer can this tea party go on? Silver is doing her best to imitate a high-society socialite. "I just have no idea what she was thinking! That fashion was soooo last year!" The filly giggles and sips her fake tea. You just nodded and grunt "yeah"s and "uh-huh"s. Silver glares again. "I'm hungry! Make me lunch!" Lunch? It's only... Holy shit, it's 12:10. You've been playing make-believe for far too long. "And what do you want?" "Hmm...", she purses her lips and thinks. "I'll have a daffodil sandwich on rye with the crusts cut off with a lentil soup of carrots, potatoes, celery, parsley, tomato, and onion. And for a drink I will have fresh squeezed lemonade with a slice of lemon." "...One daffodil sandwich, coming up." "Anonymous!" Silver whined but you ignored it. You were already taking off that ridiculous apron and hat and making tracks towards the kitchen. "W-Wait for me!" You can hear Silver's hooves clopping after you on the hardwood floors. You had to admit, Silver's place was nice. Damn nice. You guess when your name is literally "Silver Spoon" it's to be expected. After a short walk you find the kitchen and all its immaculate cooking utensils. "So...one sandwich, right?" Silver grunts as she clambers up a chair at the dinning table. "I'm watching you..." "Watching me? For what?" "To make sure you don't do anything funny, of course!" "...Funny? Funny how?" "Poppa says to always watch the servants when they make food, because they could do something to it!" "Uh...huh. Well, I'm not going to do anything funny, Silver, just relax." The filly scrunches her face in response. You just roll your eyes and set to make her and yourself something to eat. "Here." You slide her a sandwich. She looks at it like it's about to start tap dancing. "Is it safe?" "Of course it is. Sheesh, what has your father been teaching you?" Silver harrumphs and turns her nose up. "And where's my soup? And lemonade?" "Pfft, I ain't making all that. Just eat--" "I want soup! Now! Soup, soup, soup, soup, soup!" She starts slamming her hooves on the tabletop as she shrieks. You cover your ears and shout back. "Fine! Christ! I'll make some damn soup! Stop screaming!" She immediately stops and smiles brightly. "I figured you'd see it my way." Stuck-up little twerp... With a furrowed brow you start gathering the ingredients for Silver's soup. The princess herself is taking small bites out of her sandwich. "I thought I said I wanted the crusts cut off." Just bite your tongue, Anon. Just bite your tongue... The soup comes together quickly enough. Silver was nice enough to provide running commentary. "That carrot isn't right. This potato is lumpy. The tomato has a bruise on it." So helpful that one... Finally you present her with a piping hot bowl of lentil soup. "About time", she snorts and picks up a spoon. Ssssssssssllllllllllurp Of course she'd slurp her soup... "Well? How is it?" "...It...it's good..." Is she...blushing? There's definitely some pink on her face, that's for sure. "Hmm. Good. Glad you like it." Silver nods quickly and eats in quiet. You do the same. Damn, this soup is good. You impressed yourself. Good for you, Anon. Afterwards, once the two of you were finished, you put what little dishes there were in the sink. You'd get to them later. Silver was still happily licking her lips. "That really was good. Really, really good." "Happy to hear it. But now what do you want to do?" "Well, a jog would be nice. To make sure that yummy soup doesn't go right to my hips." "Aren't you a little young to be worrying about that kinda stuff?" That pink color creeped into her cheeks again. "I-I'm a big filly! I'm very mature for my age!" "Okay, fine, stop getting huffy. Geez. Go. Jog. Just stay in the backyard." "Y-You're not going to join me?" "Exercise is for fat people and women. I'm neither." "You...! You...! Ugh!" With an exaggerated pout, Silver stormed out the door. Time to get a few minutes of peace on the couch. Such a pleasant dream you were having. All sorts of pretty mares were there. Oooh, there's Twilight in a sexy librarian outfit. And there's Rainbow Dash in a tight-fitting Wonderbolts suit. It's hugging her in just the right place. Lordy, Miss Applejack, you didn't know they made Daisy Dukes for ponies... Wait a minute. This is a dream! Snort! You awake on the couch, a stream of drool trickling down you chin. You wipe it away and glance around and see the clock on the wall reads 9:00 on the button. "Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshit!" You're off the couch in an instance and looking for a window that'll let you see into the backyard. One is found and to your horror Silver is nowhere to be seen. "Ffffffuck!" You're about book it to town for help when you hear a noise come from the kitchen. A burgler too? This just isn't your day! As quietly as possible you sneak towards the kitchen. When you get there you peer around a corner and see... Silver Spoon doing her best to make something to eat at the stove. "Silver?" The sudden voice scares her and she eeps. "A-Anonymous! Don't do that! Nearly caused my heart to stop!" "Uh, sorry. What...are you doing?" "M-Me? Um..." She starts blushing once again. "I was...making dinner." "You should have woken me up. Shoulda done that hours ago actually." "You looked so peaceful though. And...I was making dinner for you." "Me...?" She bashfully nods looks to the floor. "Heh... That's...really sweet of you, Silver. It really is." Maybe she wasn't such a stuck-up princess as one would believe. "Tell you what, how about we make dinner together?" "O-Okay!" Silver perks right up and wags her tail. With a chuckle you join her at the stove and help her make...whatever it was she was trying to make. Turned out to be a vegetable stir-fry of some kind. Really hit the spot, actually. You patted your belly, Silver Spoon mimicking you as you did so. "Silver, you really are a good little cook." "R-Really?! I-I mean... Of course I am. I...taught myself." The mood in the room kinda drops, but just for a minute. "I'm just glad you liked it! I was so afraid I'd ruin it!" "No fears on that front, kiddo." Suddenly the gongs chime and you see it's 10 o'clock. "I think it's about time for bed, don't you?" "Well... I am a bit tired." She yawns and pushes her glasses back up her snout. "I can see that. Uh, do you need me to tuck you in or something?" "Puh-leaze! I'm a grown filly. I can do it myself!" She snorts and sticks her nose into the air again. "But...if you wanted too...that'd be fine with me." You smile and pat the filly on the head. "Alright then, come on kid." Silver smiles backs and leads you to her bedroom. You whistle when you enter Silver Spoon's bedroom. It was almost as big as your place. The filly herself has already made her way into bed, taking off her glasses and bead-necklace. You get to the tucking, which takes a minute as Silver's bed is about the size of a small car. Lucky kid... "There we go. All tucked in. You sleep well, okay?" She nods sweetly. You turn to leave and her hear speak up. "A-Anon? Um...could I...get a kiss on the forehead?" "A kiss? I dunno, Silver. That might be overstepping my bounds." "Pleeeeeeease?" Fucking...those damn puppy dog eyes. You sigh, but relent, going back over to the bed and planting a soft kiss on the filly's forehead. "Sleep tight, Silver." You get up to leave again, and again, she speaks up. "I'm...sorry if I was mean earlier. I...hate when my parents just leave me with some sitter. I didn't mean to take it out on you. They're just never here and I get mad and...lonely..." Frowning you go back and sit on the edge of the bed. "Kid... You know your parents love you, right?" "I know..." she's hiding her face under her blanket. "But it feels like they never have time for me..." You pet the part of her head you can get at. "Sounds like you need a friend." "That would be nice... Diamond Tiara's...well, we're friends, but...yeah." "I get it. I ain't much but, I'm willing to kick around with you a bit." "...You are?" "Sure am." You can hear her sniffling and trying her best not to cry under her sheets. "Anon...thank you." Her voice is at the breaking point. You smile sadly and pet her head again. "Whenever you need me, kid. I'll be here. Okay? I mean it." You really do. She's tugged your heartstrings in a hurry... Silver answers with another shaky nod. "Get some sleep okay?" "Okay..." You push off the bed and head for the door. "Goodnight...friend. "Goodnight, friend." With that you shut the door behind you and let Silver Spoon drift off into a peaceful slumber.This is one babysitting gig you'll never forget... And you're happy about that. The end.