"What has gotten into her?" Rainbow Dash asked. "I mean, come on! Playing filly-foolers isn't my job!"
"Somepony has to tell her," AppleJack groaned.
"Yeah, you go, AJ. You're the element of honesty after all," Rainbow replied.
"But - But - but," Fluttershy said. "It will...um..hurt her feelings!"
"Oh, whatever shall we do?" Rarity asked.
Twilight Sparkle immediately stuck her head out of the backstage curtain. "Come on, girls! Let's get ready for our next play!"
The mane six shook their heads, sadly. There was no backing out of this awkwardness now.
"Alright, AppleJack! You've got a new role!" Twilight cried out, clapping her hooves excitedly.
"Well...uh..that's great and stuff, Twi," the earth pony said.
"I know! This is going to be amazing!" Twilight Sparkle shouted. "Come on, Rainbow! Get into that armour of yours! Shining didn't let me borrow it for nothing!"
"Yeah...amazing," Scootaloo joined in. She sighed and got into her costume.
"Glad you think so, Scootaloo," Twilight said, smiling. "Or should I say - Scooby-Doo!"
"Twilight!" Apple Bloom cried out. "Ah think Ah found somethin'!"
She waved a letter around, madly, like a school-colt waving a flag.
Twilight snatched the envelope off her, without meaning to. "From Princess Celestia?! Meet me at the park," she read out. "Wait a minute, this isn't Celestia's writing."
"Ugh...trust Twilight to know that," Apple Bloom thought, groaning to herself.
"But who cares? Come on, Apple Bloom! Let's go!" the unicorn cried out. She dropped the letter, and after dancing a bit with Apple Bloom around in circles, she grabbed the filly's hoof, and rushed for the park, dragging the dizzy Apple Bloom after her.
-----
"Ah, here she is now," Celestia said, beaming at the crowds. "Our guest of honor, Twilight Sparkle."
Twilight scratched her head with her hoof. "Huh? What's going on, Princess?" she asked.
"Let it begin!" Celestia cried out.
Funky, rather jolly, music played in the background. Nine ponies appeared on stage, in silly costumes, dancing to the music.
Twilight's eyes hung low. "What is this trash?" she asked herself.
"Oh, princess, thy snout is bleeding," Rainbow Dash told Rarity, trying her hardest not to burst out laughing.
"Yes, O mare of the Knight's Templar," Rarity said, bowing courteously. "Thy left leg is crooked."
Rainbow Dash and Rarity looked into each other's eyes. They faked a kiss, and Twilight stared on, with begoggled eyes.
"We shall get married," Rainbow Dash declared.
"Yes, we shall get married," Rarity confirmed, and the (fake) kissing began all over again.
Twilight gasped. "Who wrote this?!"
Apple Bloom, dressed as a knight, brandished her blade (made of cardboard). She pointed it at Rainbow Dash. "Take a step closer to my Princess, and I shall slice thy head clean off thy shoulders," she threatened.
"Who art thou to say such a thing?!" Rainbow Dash asked. She brought out her own (cardboard) sword. "Thou insolent foal! Thou wanteth to do this the hard way - we shall doeth this the hard way!"
Apple Bloom struck Rainbow Dash, and the pegasus pretended to be hurt. She rolled around on the floor, crying out, "Oh, I'm hit! I'm hit...O fairest of ponies, save me! I'm hit!"
Rarity faked a gasp. She squealed. "Oh, no!"
Rainbow Dash got up, and kicked Apple Bloom. "Painbow Thrash is here! Fair Apple Doom, take that!"
Apple Bloom fell forward, and fell against the pegasus. Together, she and Rainbow Dash kissed, (No, they didn't. They faked it.)
Twilight felt sick. "Get me a paper bag, Spike!" she ordered.
The baby dragon didn't reply. Why, he himself was puking into a paper bag.
The unicorn didn't dare to look up.
"Oh, Apple Doom, thou art a silly pony."
"That felt good, O Painbow Thrash."
"Mmmm...delicious."
"Couldn't be more delicious than thee."
"STOP!!!!" Twilight screamed, covering her ears.
The actors bowed and went off stage.
"So?" Rainbow Dash asked, throwing off her costume. "Did ya like it?"
"Well..." Twilight whispered.
"No need to feel shy," Fluttershy consoled.
"We felt exactly like ya, when yer wrote that awful fic of yours," AppleJack joined in.
Twilight sighed, "I think I learnt my lesson, girls."
"Well, DUH! Were you going to teach it?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"I mean, a filly-fooler lemon fic is not that amazing at all," Twilight muttered. "I'm sorry."
"That's okay," everypony said, smiling. "We're sure you won't do it again!"
"You're right! I won't do it again! I'll try slash!" Twilight cried out. "Come on, everypony! Pack your costumes!"
The mane six, CMC, and Princess Celestia gasped, as they watched the unicorn rush towards the auditorium.
"Wait - what?!"