Vee for Vendetta

by Melon Hunter

Veracity Versus Verisimilitude

“Are you, uh, having fun there?” Spike scratched his head, looking at the pile of books next to Quango. “If I’m honest, I think even Twilight struggled to get through these ones.” He poked one of the spines. “‘Legal Histories of Ponyville’ doesn’t exactly scream ‘bedtime reading’ to me.”

Quango chuckled. “Well, years of dealing with bureaucratic paperwork kinda makes you immune to boring reading subjects.” He set the tome he was reading down on the table in front of him, clapping his hooves together to get rid of the patina of dust left on them. “Still, I’m not really getting anything out of these. It appears the law Veggie’s used to found the Sugar Watch has only ever been brought up to excuse snowball fights in the past.” He sighed and drained the cup of tea next to him. “I was somewhat hoping the flaws in the legislation had already been demonstrated before now.”

Spike shrugged, hopping onto a beanbag opposite Quango and pouring himself a cup from the teapot sitting between them on the table. “I dunno. Is it really that bad?”

“Well, tell me how many times somepony has come to this town and announced they had unlimited power over you.” Quango paused for a moment. “Then tell me how many times that’s gone well.”

“Ah.” Spike grinned sheepishly. “I see what you mean. Is it worth just telling her yourself, first?” He dropped a handful of sugar cubes into his tea and threw one up in the air to catch in his mouth, before seeing the shocked look on Quango’s face. “Heh, sorry. Forgot about the whole sugar thing.”

“It’s fine. I’ve just never developed a taste for adding sugar to anything, myself,” Quango said. He sighed as he looked at the sparse set of notes he’d made. “Still, me telling Veggie something will do nothing; she’ll just laugh it off and pat me on the head or something.” He glowered. “No, Veggie’s one of those ponies who does everything by the book, and only ever listens to direct authority. I mean, you saw what happened when she realised she was in this close proximity to Princess Twilight, right?”

“Twi’s exactly the same,” Spike said. “Man, the stories I could tell about her ruining herself over something that I said was harmless all along…” He shook his head and grinned ruefully.

Quango giggled. “Tell me about it!” He rubbed the back of his neck, staring upward. “Let me tell you a story… this was about a week after I joined Veggie’s think tank, if I recall correctly. I had been sent to the stationery department to get some more legal ruled paper for our reports, as we were due for our quarterly update to the Ministry of Health.” He paused for a moment, holding up his hooves either side of his head for dramatic effect. “I get there. No legal ruled. Only college ruled. They tell me it’s the only paper they’ve got ‘cause we just switched standards. I take it back and, well, you should have seen it.” He cleared his throat and began waving his hooves, voice now a high-pitched facsimile of Veggie’s. “Oh, Quango! We’re ruined! Do you realise how unprofessional we’ll look? How did you manage to get the wrong paper? Go back now and get the right sort!’” He tutted and rolled his eyes. “And, of course, no matter how much I told her it was the right paper, she wouldn’t have it. Until the memo she’d lost down the back of her in-tray turned up: then it was boasting about her foresight in getting me to fetch the right paper all along.”

Spike gave a snort of laughter. “I reckon I can beat that. You know that Twi used to be Princess Celestia’s personal student, right?” Quango nodded. “So, after we moved here, Twilight sent her a friendship report, every Tuesday. No exceptions. Apart from this one time she didn’t have anything to send, of course, and me telling her that Celestia really wouldn’t mind missing one did nothing…”

“Wait, wait, wait, let me guess.” Quango waved his hooves and grinned. “She fabricated a report and Princess Celestia saw through it straight away? Maybe something did happen and everything was fine?”

“Close, but no banana,” Spike said. “She asked everypony if they had a friendship problem she could deal with, and eventually settled for engineering one by trying to make a few fillies jealous of her old doll.”

Quango raised an eyebrow. “I can’t imagine that did much.”

“No, it didn’t. So then she cast a Want It, Need It spell on the doll to force them to fight over it, except the spell was too strong and everypony who looked at it tried to get it. The whole town was brawling over it!” Spike burst out laughing. “In the end, Princess Celestia herself had to teleport over here to sort things out!”

“Ha ha ha h—wait, what? What?!” Quango raised his hooves to his mouth. “That’s horrifying! She hypnotised an entire town just to get a subject for a letter?”

“Accidentally hypnotised an entire town,” Spike shot back. He rubbed his chin with a claw. “Although, yeah, maybe in hindsight that story isn’t quite as funny as I thought it was.”

“I’ll say.” Quango hopped off his stool and began walking around in a circle agitatedly. “Isn’t she performing a magical experiment right beneath us? Could that backfire, too?”

Spike let out another snort, one that was accompanied by a burst of black smoke. “Hey! That was one time she screwed up. Twi’s one of the most powerful and skilled mages Equestria’s ever known; she is not going to let an experiment ‘backfire’. It just needs her to supervise it to stop it fizzling out, s’all.”

“I’m sorry,” Quango said quickly, wings raising slightly. “I didn’t mean to insinuate—”

Spike shook his head and walked over to Quango. “It’s alright. I know you didn’t. I just get a bit defensive about Twilight sometimes.” He held out a fist. “No hard feelings?”

“None at all.” Quango bumped a hoof against the proffered fist, before perking his ears up at the sound of laughter coming from his and Veggie’s borrowed room. “Hm. Sounds like somepony’s having fun. I wonder what’s going on in there?” He shared a glance with Spike, before both pegasus and dragon scampered up the stairs and pressed their ears to the door.

“...well, this is just fantastic!” Veggie exclaimed. “This really has been a most educational experience! Who knew that cookies are normally boiled in treacle? Or that most blancmange will decay your teeth on contact? It’s really quite astounding how many improvements Ponyville already made before I arrived!”

“Glad I could help!” Pinkie said. There was the sound of somepony jumping up and down. “You know, I thought you were a real stick in the mud, but you can’t be any more than a twig. Maybe even a leaf!”

“Um… thank you?” There was a faint swoosh as Veggie picked something up with her magic. “So, these plans for the Sugar Watch should be acceptable to everypony?” Pinkie must have nodded, as Vee continued, “Good. Just, please keep it to yourself. I’d rather not let everypony know ahead of time; let alone Sweet Tooth!”

“Don’t worry! My lips are sealed! Mmm mm, mm mmm m hmm!”

“...right. And you’re happy to have me place your personal endorsement on our posters?”

“Mmhmm! Mm mmmmm, mm hm mmmm hmmm!” Pinkie hummed.

“You really don’t need to literally seal your lips,” Veggie said slowly.

There was a giggle. “Okay! Well, that’s all good, then; just as long as you stick to the plan!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Oh, don’t worry, Pinkie Pie. I will.” The door handle began to turn. Quango grabbed Spike and swooped back down to the floor of the library, the pair trying to look as relaxed as possible as the two mares exited the room.

Pinkie bounded past, beaming at Quango as she exited the building. Veggie stood at the top of the stairs, waving farewell and grinning, a sheaf of paper held in her magic.

Quango looked up from the book he was pretending to read.“Veggie! I’m… honestly surprised one of you didn’t throttle the other!” he exclaimed. “Good meeting, then?”

Veggie stayed silent, sauntering down the stairs before coming to stand next to Quango. “Oh, it certainly was,” she said. “You see these notes? These are all written by Pinkie Pie.”

He nodded. “Really? They’ll be very helpful, th—” He let out a gasp as Veggie cast the whole stack into the fireplace. “What are you doing?!”

“Taking out the trash,” Veggie said quietly. She gave her horrified assistant a sly smile. “Oh, come on, you must have heard some of her mindless wittering. I mean, really? Her trying to convince me of all ponies of her ridiculous fabrications? We know the fat levels in an average ring doughnut off by heart, Quango.” She fell silent, smiling faintly and giving him a meaningful glance. Then she cleared her throat. “I said…”

He sighed. “Twelve grams, three of them saturated.”

“Thank you. You really thought she’d convince me that they’re normally the size of a cart wheel?! Pah! Her brain must be even more sugar-damaged than I thought! ‘Gain her trust’, indeed! Those notes were not worth the paper they were written on.”

Quango groaned and buried his head in his hooves. “Veggie, why would you take somepony on as an advisor, only to then destroy every shred of her advice?”

“I dunno… Pinkie’s advice is usually a bit hit-and-miss,” Spike piped up. “I once asked her for her cupcake recipe, and whatever it was I made out of it wasn’t cake.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully. “It did work pretty well as glue, though…”

Quango threw up his hooves and rolled his eyes at Spike. “Great. Fine. So what was the point of all this, then?”

Veggie drew herself up to her full height. “My full reasons for asking after her are very much private and personal,” she said primly. “However, the primary advantage is a mere six words.” She raised a forehoof, twitching it in time to every word. “‘This message endorsed by Pinkie Pie.’”

“How is that going to work?” Quango asked. “Surely that’s entirely reliant on you sticking to her suggestions—you know, the ones that are currently turning to ash?”

Vee snickered. “Oh, you don’t think I made preparations for that already?” She began striding around the table, smirking. “By the time I really get things going, her retraction of any endorsement will be far too late. I’ve already sent a request to the Sugar Watch volunteers to start printing the posters! We’ll be putting them up this evening.”

“Hey!” Spike slammed his fist into the table. “You’re not getting anywhere with abusing my friend’s trust while I’m here!” He let out a snort of smoke. “You do that, and I’ll—”

“And you’ll what, little drake?” Veggie glared at him. “May I remind you I’ve faced down the demons that are the Civil Service’s auditors? If you’re going to make a threat, it’d better be a good one.” She clicked her tongue. “How about taking a leaf out of Sweet Tooth’s book and trying to blow up a building that I’m stood right next to, hmmm?”

He backed away a little and held up his claws. “A-actually, I was just gonna leave that to your imagination.”

“Good. I’d appreciate it if you left my imagination to intimidate me in future.” An involuntary shudder ran through her. “After all, it does a good enough job by itself,” she muttered.

Quango gave Veggie a push to the shoulder to save Spike from the abyss of her gaze. “C’mon, Veggie! That endorsement won’t mean a thing the moment you diverge from your agreement with Pinkie, and you just said everything you spoke with her about was worthless. It’s already too late!”

“Don’t you worry, I have a way,” Veggie said. “Once somepony leaks a little conversation that just happened to have been recorded, in which she sets out exactly how to go about my campaign, any faith her allies had in her will evaporate, and she won’t be able to convince anypony that all she gave me was misinformation.” She waved a dismissive hoof as Quango frowned in confusion. “You don’t think anypony would doubt that Pinkie Pie was airheaded enough to do exactly that? It’s painfully apparent she runs her mouth whether she wishes to or not. So, once the rest of the herd hear that, that endorsement is going to stick, whether she likes it or not. Oh, and naturally, she gets thrown under the cart if any of my policies backfire.” She sat back and crossed her forelegs, smirking. “Game, set and match.”

A groan came from across the table. “Veggie, Veggie, Veggie…” Quango rubbed his eyes with his hooves. “This plot is absolutely watertight, except for one small detail.” He fluttered his wings in irritation and spread his forelegs. “How are you ever going to leak a conversation that doesn’t exist? Pinkie never said any of that.”

“Didn’t she? Well, maybe I should show you a present I received from a most unlikely ally...” Veggie picked up a small paper bag from across the room and levitated it toward her. She extracted a couple of boiled sweets from the bag and sucked on them for a moment, before swallowing and clearing her throat. “Hi! My name’s Pinkie Pie and I’m the most clueless pony in Ponyville!”

Quango stared at her in horror as an exact facsimile of Pinkie’s voice emerged from Veggie’s mouth. He gazed over to Spike and whispered, “Are you hearing what I’m hearing?”

Spike merely nodded dumbly, gradually backing away from the table.

“And now I’m going to make sure that nopony ever gets their hooves dirty with sugar in this town again!” Veggie-Pinkie continued. “And nopony’s going to stop me!”

 “V-Veggie? Please stop. You’re scaring me.” Quango shrank back as Veggie leaned closer.

“Soon, they’ll all be thanking Veggie Vee, and I won’t make a sweet snack ever again!” she continued. Spike and Quango clung to each other in mute horror as she bore down on them. “And you know what that calls for? A party!” Her insane giggling filled the room.

Deep within the PBSC’s underground lair, a sudden whoop went up as Pinkie appeared in the entrance. She reared up on two legs and struck a pose, spreading her forelegs wide. The ponies in the chamber stomped in applause, cheering her on as she giggled and jumped up on the long table in the middle of the room. “Thank you! Thank you, everypony!” she called.

“Is that it? Have we won?” Saltwater Taffy asked. “She let you tell her what to do?”

“Yes, we have!” Pinkie beamed at the expectant faces in front of her. “Surprise, surprise, Veggie Vee knew nothing about the treats we make! So, I made sure to tell her every silly idea I’ve ever had—especially the ones that Mrs. Cake told me were too dangerous to make—were actually what we normally make in Ponyville!” She let out another giggle. “From now on, she’s gonna look so silly, nopony will take her seriously!”

Another cheer went up, before Bon Bon jumped up on the table, eliciting gasps from the crowd. “You know, none of that would have been necessary if you’d just left well enough alone,” she called, walking slowly down the wooden platform toward Pinkie. “Or did you miss the bit where you made Veggie Vee go from cooperative to downright dictator?” She snorted and stomped her forehoof. “Fan-tastic.”

Pinkie walked up and pressed her snout against Bon Bon’s, the two mares facing off in the centre of the table. “Maybe you missed the bit where everypony was agreeing with her! Or the bit where she let me in to see all of her plans! Now Sweet Tooth knows everything, and has her hoof on everything the Sugar Watch does. Veggie Vee’s the most clueless pony in Ponyville right now.”

“Really? And what were these ‘plans’?”

Pinkie backed away a little and sat back, crossing her forelegs. “That’s for me to know, and you to find out.” She closed her eyes and poked out her tongue at Bon Bon. “Suffice to say, before I turned up, they weren’t anything you’d want Veggie Vee doing. Now, all they’re going to do is make everypony laugh at her, and it’s all. On. Me.” She twitched a raised forehoof in time with her staccato words.

Both mares looked down as Mrs. Cake cleared her throat. “Um, dears? You’re making a bit of a scene,” she murmured. Bon Bon rolled her eyes and hopped back down, and Pinkie mouthed a ‘Sorry’ to her employer. Cup Cake nodded in approval and joined Pinkie on the table. “Now then, I’d like to apologise for delaying this meeting to the evening, but we had to have a rather urgent request completed by the Foal Free Press.” She smiled slyly. “Or, more accurately, their printer.” She nodded to the back of the room, where an ink-stained Featherweight was pushing boxes of paper into the room.

“Oh yeah, posters!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I totally forgot!” She waved her hoof towards the exhausted colt. “We can go and stick them up now it’s getting dark; nopony will see us, and in the morning, her plans will be plain to see to everypony! Who wants to volunte—” She cut off as every pony in the chamber raised a forehoof to the ceiling. “Great! Grab a stack and some hooftacks, then! Let’s get this party started!”

The meeting room emptied as quickly as the poster boxes, treat makers swiftly exiting to carry out their mission. Pinkie watched them go, before giving a start as somepony placed a hoof on her shoulder. She jumped and turned to see Bon Bon, who was smiling apologetically.

“L-look… I’m sorry about earlier,” Bon Bon said. “I tend to snap when things don’t go exactly the way I want them to.”

“It’s okay!” Pinkie smiled at her. “Everypony’s allowed to get grumpy sometimes when they don’t get their own way. I know I do!”

Bon Bon ran a hoof through her curly mane, gaze flickering downward. “Still, I did accuse you of making too much out of that napkin, and Vee really was going to do those things, it seems. I guess you were correct on that part, at least.” She pursed her lips. “And whatever happened this morning, at least you’re going someway to making this right with the posters.” A pregnant pause sat between them, before she piped up, “How about we pair up for tonight?”

Pinkie nodded and jumped up and down in glee. “I’d love to!” she cried. “Where d’you wanna put the posters up? I guess we could hang around here if we wanted to talk, or maybe just help everypony else wherever they are, or—”

“How about the library?”

Pinkie blanched. “But… but that’s where Veggie Vee’s staying!”

Bon Bon fixed Pinkie with a mischievous grin. “C’mon, Pinkie, be daring! You did dress up as Sweet Tooth and go in front of her twice already.” She giggled. “Maybe you can even dress up as her for this?”

“No, Sweet Tooth does all the hard-hitting stuff.” Pinkie huffed and raised a hoof to her chest. “Why, I’m simply mild-mannered Pinkie Pie, engaging in a bit of healthy civil disobedience! There’s no crime to pin on me!”

“If you say so.” The two ponies picked up the last of the posters and pins and exited the room, climbing up to emerge from a trapdoor in back of Sugarcube Corner. As they walked outside, the shapes of other ponies could be seen in the gloom of twilight, all of them leaving pieces of paper attached to the walls. Bon Bon walked up to one of the signs and raised an eyebrow. “I get the message, Pinkie, but was it really necessary to make Veggie’s eyes crossed and have her tongue stick out?”

“Of course! If you get a scary ghostie in town, you’ve got to giggle at it,” Pinkie insisted. “The more ponies laugh at Veggie Vee, the less can take her seriously when she gets all wound up.” She began bouncing up and down. “Now come on! The library’s not going to put these signs up itself!”

“Lead the way.”

Pinkie began trotting toward the great tree, Bon Bon in tow. She could see a lot of ponies out and about, despite the late hour. In fact, it almost seemed like there were more ponies out here than there were in the meeting! They must have brought friends! Also, for some reason, quite a few of the nighttime walkers were wearing cloaks and hoods, as though it were the depths of winter… “Is it me, or did we pick the same night to go outside as the Roleplaying Society?” Pinkie asked.

“I dunno,” the pony next to her muttered.

“Whaddya mean ‘you don’t know’?!” Pinkie exclaimed. “C’mon, Bon Bon! Don’t be so grumpy!”

“Why are you calling me Bon Bon?”

Pinkie frowned in confusion. “Well, duh, you are Bon Bon! ...aren’t you?” She peered through the gloom at the mare. Sure, she had a curly mane… but a mane made of orange hair! And her cutie mark, while comprised of a trio of objects, certainly didn’t include any sweets in its composition. “Wait, Carrot Top? What are you doing out?”

“P-Pinkie? Why are you here?” Carrot took a step back. “Since when were you part of the Sugar Watch?”

“What Sugar Watch? I’m with the Bakers and Sweetmakers!” Pinkie peered at the stack of paper on Carrot’s back. “Are you helping us put up posters? That’s nice of you!”

Carrot returned the inquisitive look. “You mean Veggie’s posters? I guess, but why are you putting them up? I know she took your advice, but I didn’t think you were her new ally!”

“I’m not. I’m anything but her new... ally…” Pinkie stopped her speech as she cringed. “Wait a second. There’s two groups of us—”

“—and we’re each putting up signs saying the opposite thing?”

The two ponies stared at the ground and scuffed their hooves awkwardly, as another pair in the background suddenly backed away from one another with a chorused “Wait, who are you?”

“This never happened, okay?” Pinkie and Carrot said in unison. They backed away slowly from one another, before scampering off at the same time.

Cantering toward the library, Pinkie failed to see another pony in her path. She collided with them, knocking herself back onto her rump. She yelped in surprise as the authentic Bon Bon turned around and glared at her. “It’s the real you!”

“Of course it’s me,” Bon Bon snapped. “I wondered where you’d sauntered off to.” She swept her hoof around at some other sweetmakers, who’d gathered beneath the library’s boughs. “Looks like you’ve got some explaining to do, Pinkie Pie.” She threw a torn piece of paper to the floor in front of her. “As it turns out, we’re not the only ponies putting up notices tonight.”

Pinkie stared at the plundered poster in front of her. “W-what’s this?” Her eyes scanned the page. It was an advertisement for what the Sugar Watch would do next… except it wasn’t silly at all! It was incredibly sensible! She had to stop herself from nodding along to just how reasonable it was; everything from the polite self-policing Veggie had mentioned in her speech, to how much better fruit was than cake. The bottom fell out of her stomach as she read the final line: a bold, heavy typeset proclaiming ‘This message endorsed by Pinkie Pie.’

“So. Looks like somepony’s gone over to the other side!” Bon Bon cried triumphantly. The gathered ponies nodded and began to jeer. “And we all thought we could trust you, Pinkie. Getting bored of just blowing up buildings, were we?”

Pinkie shook her head vehemently, biting her lip. She blinked rapidly to get rid of her forming tears, trying to hold back the burning pain of betrayal. “I did not!” she cried. “That meanie Veggie Vee is a no-good liar! I never said any of this; she’s just pretending I did to make herself look better!” She spread her forelegs and looked around at the others. “C’mon, you have to believe me. Why would I betray you all? I was the one who started this!”

Bon Bon pursed her lips as the other ponies began nodding their heads. “She has a point,” one of them said.

Everypony’s ears perked up as a sudden crackle came from a high-up, open window in the library, before Veggie’s voice began to play, subtly distorted by the recording. “So, just summarise this for me?”

“Okay!” Pinkie’s voice rang out, as the pony it belonged to stood in slack-jawed confusion. “So, you don’t wanna change anything too fast… I mean, Trixie turned up and went bam, glass dome, and nopony liked that. Just go nice and slow, and nopony will notice you’re changing anything.”

“How so?”

“Do all the little things first. Like that being polite to ponies eating too much sugar; that’s just being nice!” the recorded Pinkie said, the sound of floorboards being jumped on mixing into the playback. “And then, once everypony’s used to that, you can carry on going!” There was a giggle. “I mean, you have basically limitless power, right? Imagine all the kooky things you could do with that, huh? You could force ponies to write sugar diaries, or work out how much sugar you’re allowed to eat per day, or even ban sweet things altogether! Isn’t that crazy?!”

“It… certainly is. And fascinating, too,” Veggie breathed.

“Great! I mean, this is just a friendly chat, right? You wouldn’t really do all of those things?” Somepony cleared their throat. “Wink, wink, nudge, nudge?”

“Of course not, um, silly!” The recording suddenly cut out with another crackle.

Pinkie shrank back under the furious gazes of her former compatriots, ears drooping. “I… I…” she gulped. “I didn’t say those things,” she whispered, assertion sounding insincere in her own words, despite the truth she knew was behind them.

Bon Bon grimaced at her. “Looks like we have a traitor in the ranks!” she called triumphantly. “So, that’s what this endorsement was about?” she spat. “Save your own skin by turning the rest of us over to Veggie Vee? Good job, Pinkie.” She turned to the other ponies in the square. “So, what should we do now?”

“Keep her locked up in Sugarcube Corner, I’d say,” one of them suggested.

“Destroy that costume!”

“Submit her to Vee.”

Bon Bon leered at her. “Well, what’ll it be, Pinkie?

Pinkie shook for a moment, before glaring at them. “None of it!” she cried. “I’ve already changed my voice to be Sweet Tooth once; you don’t think Veggie Vee has some weird spell that does the same for my voice?!”

“What, you think I gave her some of my voice-changing cough drops?" Bon Bon crooned. "Now why would I do a thing like that?”

Pinkie simply gaped at her. “You… you…”

“Nopony’s buying it, Pinkie.” Bon Bon grinned evilly at her. “Better get used to doing that Sweet Tooth act in your bedroom, ‘cause you’re going nowhere else until this is all over.”

“Even if you keep me inside, you can’t lock up Sweet Tooth,” Pinkie said defiantly. “I’m a pony; she’s an idea. And you can’t keep ideas from being free.”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes. “Knock it off with the ideological st—”

“Purple elephants.” Pinkie crossed her hooves triumphantly.

“Wh-what?”

“You’re thinking of purple elephants, aren’t you?” Pinkie tilted her head and grinned. “C’mon…”

“...For the love of Luna, yes I am,” Bon Bon said in resignation, rubbing the sides of her head.

Pinkie jumped up and down in glee. “Told ya so! I got the idea out of my head and into yours! Even if I can’t be Sweet Tooth, somepony else will.” She closed her eyes and held her forehooves out in front of herself melodramatically. “Now, do your worst, unbelievers!”

Bon Bon watched as a sweetmaker took Pinkie’s tail in his mouth and dragged her away from the library. She picked up one of her own posters and placed it next to the Sugar Watch’s, before trampling the pair into confetti. She grinned as she saw fragments that had fallen to form the slogan ‘This mess/ endorsed by-- Everypony’.

“And so it will be, whether they know it or not,” she muttered to herself. “Veggie and Pinkie? You’re both the same fool, and you’re both going to fall just as hard when you realise that…”

Veggie sat back in her chair, sighing contentedly. Quango was still downstairs with Spike, so she’d taken the slight risk of wearing her favourite eggshell blue dressing gown and fluffy bunny slippers. Not that she’d be seen dead with those when anypony else was around, but while she knew she was left safely alone, Vee felt that a little embarrassing creature comfort was worth it.

Her horn lit up, surrounding her steaming cup of chamomile tea with a golden aura and raising it to her lips. It had been a horror show of a day, what with having to cope with both a visit from the despicable Sweet Tooth and having to speak with Pinkie Pie. Still, at least the latter had been dealt with. Veggie leaned back and tapped the gramophone on her desk with a hoof, playing the record it contained again. She had been listening to the fake discussion she’d created on loop all evening; after all, she had found no better way to nurse a bruised ego than to massage it. Tomorrow, somepony would be finding that recording in their mailbox, and then the real fun would begin.

A gust of wind blew in the room, rustling her notes and making her shiver. She’d left the window open to let the night air in, her room having been rather too stuffy for her liking before. Sure, that would let anypony standing right outside hear her doctored conversation as it played on repeat, but how would that cause any trouble?

Veggie spun around as she heard the door creak open. Quango stood in the open frame, a large piece of paper held under his wing. The two ponies stared at one another for a moment, before he broke the silence with a tentative, “V-Veggie?” He bit his lip. “Uh… nice outfit.”

“Quango! I… um… I was trying out a new costume!” she stammered.

“...Right.”

“Yes!” Veggie tapped the floor with her hoof nervously. “It’s, uh, Clover the Clever’s!” she blurted out. “You know how those Starswirl cosplayers always get all the attention; this is redressing the balance!” She tugged on her gown. “This is definitely an exact facsimile of her cloak, and these—”she wiggled her forehoof—“are most certainly the boots she wore to survive the cold, snowy world she lived in!” Vee grinned insincerely.

Quango nodded slowly. “Of course it is, Veggie.” He held up the paper in a hoof. “You might want to see this. Looks like the Sugar Watch wasn’t the only group out tonight.”

Veggie levitated the poster towards her, regarding her own caricatured face with an icy glare. “Dissident propaganda,” she hissed. “They’re moving more swiftly than I thought…” A smile chased across her lips. “Still, it looks as though they’re trying to paint me as an idiot. That won’t do them any favours.”

“I guess we could get the Watch to take these down?” Quango offered.

“Hmm…” Veggie rubbed her chin. “No, let them stay up. I want everypony to see this, and see it against our own posters.” She set the poster down and smiled at Quango. “But, tell the Sugar Watch to gather in the Town Hall first thing tomorrow morning. We need to move faster than the rebels if we’re going to keep up.”

“What happened to not changing anything too fast?” Quango cried.

“That was before, Quango. Sweet Tooth as a single actor could be contained, but this is the work of a larger group. They must be suppressed, and quickly,” Veggie said. She stared at him for a moment. “What are you waiting for? In the name of Clover the Clever’s fluffy slippers, go!” She grinned as he scampered away, before sidling over to the gramophone and laying her head against it. “And as for you, we have a very important date tomorrow, Ms. Pie,” she cooed. “Vis-à-vis, your imminent doom.”