Discord enjoyed watching Twilight stand outside the library twitching and muttering to herself about lists; he was almost tempted to let the young Princess destroy herself through anxiety. It would serve her right after all.
He savoured the moment, waiting until she looked like was going to start eating at her wings (no, that would be too cruel, even for him).
"Twilight dahhhling!" He materialized as a glamorous old movie star, complete with cigarette holder and beauty mark. He immediately preceded to kiss both of her clenched cheeks. "It has been too long! How are you sweetheart?"
"Discord!" Twilight shot daggers at the Draconiquus.
"Ah, I see you got my note."
"Yes I did get your note, just as I've stood here for the past hour ruminating on who in the hay would mess up my morning routine!" She threw him another filthy look. "When Fluttershy hears about this you're going to be in deep trouble!"
Almost spontaneously, Discord lost the Zsa-zsa act and sprouted a graceful pink mane and wide teal eyes.
"Twilight! How could you be so mean?!" He replied in perfect imitation of Fluttershy. "Discord is your friend! True, his methods of contact might be a little unconventional, but that's still no reason to blow him off when he wants to spend time with you! Now apologize!"
Twilight simply stood there, an exasperated expression on her face.
"If it makes you feel any better Twilight, by all means, run off to mummy and tell her what a naughty little boy I've been!"
A schoolboy outfit and lollypop appeared on him, the latter of which he crammed into Twilight's mouth. This was too much fun.
"Fmmin thmm. Whm do you wmmt?"
"Beg pardon?" He snapped his fingers and the lollypop disappeared.
"Fine then. What do you want?"
"I don't want anything."
"So what in Celestia possessed you to write all over my things? My morning is completely wrecked thanks to you!"
"Wrecked? If it really bothers you that much, did you ever consider simply ignoring what I wrote on your precious little list?"
"Ignore what was written on the list?" Twilight thought to herself in horror, "Okay, there was no time to be angry at Discord, he's clearly lost his mind..."
Discord sensed the pause. "Well, if that's everything you wanted to say," a suitcase appeared in Discord's paw, "I'll be along my way. In future Twilight, try not to call me unless you actually need something."
"Me!? Call you? You're the one who started this whole cavalcade!"
"Really Twilight, is that a way to speak to a friend? And to think, I was going to use this as an opportunity to warn you, yet you don't even have the decency to say 'hey Discord, I missed you" or "hey Discord, how have you bee-"
"Hey Discord,"
"Yes Twilight?"
"Get off my Azealeas, I spent a whole afternoon planting those!"
Discord looked down and saw that he had been stomping on her flowerbed during his monologue. With a devlish grin, he snapped his fingers and new flowers appeared in their place.
"Oh, I am so sorry Twilight, how careless of me? I suppose I could pass my warning along as apology, even if you are extremely rude for a Princess..."
"I'm listening Discord - this had better be good."
"It's just... well, I was flying over Ponyville the other day and I saw all your little friends - what was their names? - ah yes, Fluttershy, Rainbowjack, Apple Pie, Dinkie, and Flarity, all playing this game called 'Tag'. Ordinarily, I wouldn't think anything of it, but I couldn't help but overhear Fluttershy saying 'guys, shouldn't we invite Twilight to play?' to the others."
Twilight shot Discord a skeptical look. Nonetheless, he continued without pause.
"Yes, Fluttershy, she was always such a sweet, kind little thing, unlike I certain somepony she associates herself with," he blew a raspberry at Twilight, "and you know what that Dinkie said back? 'Nah, Twilight is too serious to enjoy something as fun as this! Tag, you're it!'"
Each time he moved to a new pony, he imitated them perfectly.
"Yeah, I reckon' a Princess like her is too high-flulutin' and important to want to play!"
"Applejack darling, could you not splash me in the mud? I only agreed to play this silly little game because it sounds like so much fun!"
"Guys, Twilight is probably busy being too much of an Egghead to join in, you know, with all her princessy reading and stuff? I say we don't bother her with some silly childish game."
"And this is a big scary warning because...?" Twilight continued to look unconvinced, although Discord spied a wounded look beneath the veneer. Aha! He had her.
"Well, I too would be very hurt that my friends suddenly consider myself better than them, but you're correct, it's hardly a sign of imminent danger. If only I hadn't overheard Celestia the other day, then we wouldn't be having this conversation..."
"Celestia?!" Twilight wings popped up at the mention of her beloved mentors name, "What did Celestia say?"
Hook, line, and sinker.
"Well Twilight, she's worried about you."
"Worried about me?"
"She was saying about how Luna became a recluse when she fully started her duties lifting and raising the moon. It started with her no longer wanting to play games with her, then she holed herself up in that dratted castle library, forever reading books, and before you knew it she became Nightmare Moon. She doesn't want the same thing to happen to you."
"Same thing to happen to me? Wha? I spend plenty of time with my friends!"
"Just as I'm sure Luna spent plenty of time with Celestia in the early stages of her transformation." He spied the befuddled look Twilight gave him, "What? Do you think she suddenly woke up one day and thought 'I love the smell of imminent destruction in the morning'?"
To illustrate his point, Discord grew several feet and sprouted a efferscent mane as black as the night sky "Did you really expect me to stand idly by while they all bask in your precious light?!" He bellowed in imitation of Luna.
He shot down to normal size and wrapped an arm around Twilight's neck "Mondays, eh?"
"What? I don't understand-"
"Well, think about it, you might not realize it, but becoming a princess has changed you. Made you more serious, less fun." Discord crossed his arms and took on a very bored and irritated tone. "You know it's bad when even Celestia von Killjoy is looking at you and saying 'wow, I bet she'd be the life and soul of the party'."
From the annoyed look Twilight gave him, he realized he'd perhaps lain it on a bit thick with his last comment. She was beginning to cotton on; ah well, the seed of doubt had at least been planted.
"Wait a second, why should I even believe you?"
"Believe me? Who said anything about believing me?" The suitcase reappeared in Discord's hand. "Now if you excuse me, I'm late for a very important date. Toodles!"
In a puff of white smoke he vanished only to reappear seconds later, "Oh, and one more thing before I vanish."
"What?"
He tapped her right wing. "Tag, you're it."
This time he disappeared for good. Twilight stood there with a perplexed look on her face, unsure of what exactly had happened. One of the flowers Discord planted began to flower.
She started sneezing uncontrollably.
Discord!