//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4 
// Story: The Reggie Kush Story 
// by yourfanfictionnarrator 
//------------------------------//

“Speaking of dandelions, there’s this restaurant in the town square… that… that like, makes the best dandelion sandwiches ever.” Sugarberry slurred.
“Dude, what the buck are you talking about?”
“Wha- what do you mean?”
“Wait, how long have you been talking about restaurants?”
“I dunno, felt like a couple of seconds.”
Reggie looked up at the clock tower. The big hand was on the 1, and the small hand was in-between the 12 and 1.
‘Ah shit… what does that mean?’
Reggie looked down at his hooves, squinting his eyes in deep thought.  He turned around and saw a trail of hoof prints in the ground.
‘But that could only mean?’
“Ah dammit!” Reggie yelled.
“What what is it?”
“We walked all the way the edge of ponyville. How many restaurants do you think we passed?”
“Holy crap, like… a ton.”
“Well that’s just great. We’re all the way on the other side of ponyville. Where are we gonna get some food?”
Sugarberry thought on that for a moment. It would take about 5 minutes to get to barnyard bargains. Of course, that was a super store, not a restaurant. But on the other hand there were kiosks serving free samples this day of the week. Sugarberry quickly tossed that idea aside and decide to think about herself as a super hero.
‘Damn I’d be a cool super hero.’ She thought. ‘I’d have a cape and boots, and a hat…. I don’t want a cape or hat… but I still want boots. Ooh, and a sword… no not a sword, maybe a-‘
“Sugarberry?”
She came back to reality.
“Huh?”
“Tsk, you dosed off you loser. Stop thinking about stuff and help me find some food.”
“Alright fine. Everypony usually does there shopping today, so there’s probably nopony at the Fat Colt Fryer.”
“…the what about frying fat colts?”
“It’s… what? What the fuck? Wha- I j…… ……. … what the hell?”
“What’s the stupid, yojusshhh, God you fricken saying, now you got me saying that shit!” Reggie took a deep breath. “You, are like brain cancer... mind cancer. You’re not killing me, but you’re hurting my ideas.”
“What in the world… just…. Look, there’s a fast food place like 5 minutes away, let’s go get some bucking lunch.” She said.
“I… yea. Yeah yeah let’s go get some lunch.”
The two began staggering back towards the town.
Sugarberry looked over at Reggie. His eyes were redder than… She couldn’t think of a metaphor. His eyes were just really red. Suddenly, a familiar thought came back.
“Hey Reg?” She said.
“Yeah?”
“Would I be a cool super hero?”

<Roughly ten minutes later>

“Sorry sir, we don’t sell fried food here.” Said the colt at the register.
“Wait, but this… hang on. I thought this was the Fat Colt Fryer. It has fryer in the name.” Reggie replied.
“Na dude, this used to be Fat Colt Fryer. Now it’s a health food place.”
“Ah what! I don’t want to eat salad, I wanted something good.”
“Tell me about it. I haven’t eaten an order of Fat Colt French Fries in like, two or three weeks. I’m stuck eating this crap all the time.”
A young mare peered over the counter.
“Noteworthy, can I see you for a moment, privately.” She said.
“Ah crap. I’m not supposed to tell the customers anything that would drive them away.”
She looked back over the counter.
“B-but honestly the food here is actually pretty great.” He lied.
“Now!”
He walked through the kitchen doors with his head hung low.
“I can’t have you telling our customers not to eat here! Are you trying to make business bad for me?”
Reggie looked back at Sugarberry.
“Dayum. Poor dude.” He said.
“Yeah.” She replied. “Do you think there’s another Fat Colt in town?”
“I dunno maybe.”
The colt walked back out of the kitchen. His apron and hat were gone.
“Ah shit, did she just fire you?” Reggie asked.
“Yeah, that really sucks. Well, since it can’t get any worse, there’s another Fat Colt in town. But it’s just a little sidewalk stand. So if there’s a line it’ll take a while to get your food.” He said.
“Oh, thanks that’s actually really helpful. Where is it?”
“It’s under the clock tower in the town square.”
“NOTEWORTHY! Stop telling ponies what other restaurants are in town!”
“Or WHAT! WHAT’LL YOU DO! YOU ALREADY FIRED ME!”
“Well do you want your job back?”
“…yes.”
“Too bad.”
“Oh fuck you. Fuck you!”
Reggie put his muzzle to Sugarberry’s pointed ear.
“Let’s get the hell out of here.” He whisperd.
“Agreed.” 
They turned around and began walking. They could still hear the two ponies arguing in the distance as they clip clopped away from the scene.
They finally got out of hearing range when they got to the intersection. The light was red.
“Why the fuck do we even have traffic lights, this town has like ten ponies in it and at least six of them are mares. I don’t think I’ve seen a pony riding in a chariot since last Nightmare Night. It’s gotta be some kind of legal bullshit.” Reggie said.
“I think your being a little dramatic. There’s way more ponies than that.”
“Don’t give a damn.” He said.
He pushed the button on the pole, but the light didn’t turn green. He pushed it again, and again, and again.
“Son of a bitch.” He muttered, pressing the button a few more times.
“Will you cut it out! Let’s just walk across.”
“And get a ticket for jaytrotting. Yeah right.”
Reggie pushed the button again.
“Just go will you!” She yelled.
“Alright fine.”
Reggie trotted to the end of the curb. He extended his neck and looked side to side.
“Dosen’t look like anypony’s walking this way any time soon. Might as well.” He said.


One step onto the road and the next thing he knew Reggie was holding a jaytrotting ticket in his hooves.
“Super weak, this like…. Sucks. Now I’ll have to go to court later on. Just great.” He said.
He looked at the clock tower.
“And it’s already twelve thirty. Could this day get any worse?”
The clouds over head turned black, blocking out the sun.
“Well that’s just great. At least it’s not raining.” He said.

<Some ten minutes later>

“This is like, an abstract painting… of your stupidity.” Reggie said.
“My stupidity? You’re in the same problem I am douche face. It’s not my fault we ended up in the woods.”
They stopped dead in their tracks at the sound of a snapped twig. They turned around to see an old ass colt with a long ass greasy mane and gross ass acne all over his face and neck.
“Well hi there.” He said. “You two need some help.”
As if on cue, a bolt of lightning forked across the sky behind him.