John's PoV
I patiently waited around the Carousel Boutique, it honestly hadn't been a very eventful stay. Even with everything going on, most of the ponies seemed to just ignore it and carry on with their lives...something that reminded me of home. Ah good old America, where one could simply not give a damn and live their in sheepy contentment. Normally, I wouldn't really reminisce about things that most would criticize, but it would definitely be preferable to the stress of attempting to save the universe. Speaking of which, I had to be the lamest hero ever The Guy That Somehow Manages to Narrowly Avoid Death and Slightly Inconvenience the Villain! The name needed work, but it was the most accurate thing I could think of...short of Inconvenience Man! A name that Twilight promptly rejected on the basis of Copyright...Yeah, there was apparently a comic book series in Equestria called Inconvenience Mare so she said it could cause some confusion. I made a mental note to keep an eye out for such a comic book.
Alright, I suppose I should get back on track. I really needed Rarity to hurry, apparently Twilight's brother had more or less recovered and needed to see me. And honestly? I needed someone with combat experience to train me. I doubted it would really help against Dimentio, but it couldn't hurt. If I could somehow use my 'magic' to fight instead of attempting melee, I might even stand a fighting chance. Without Mario's ridiculous jumping and of course the ability to save and retry fights (which is obviously canon, it was like trying to swat a fly with a chopstick. An odd analogy I know, but if you had tried it you might understand how bad the situation was. Damn, I got off track again didn't I?
As if sensing the end of my monologue, Rarity entered with several boxes. I assumed that they were my clothes that I had ordered a while back. Even though the ponies went around naked, I still felt the need to change clothes. The ponies seemed to even ignore the smell...I didn't though, and that was what really mattered.
"Well John, I managed to repair your shirt, though I can't imagine why you would wear something so plain." Rarity said as she eyed my shirt with hardly hidden disdain.
"I like it. I mean, it's a lot more comfortable than going without. That and it's casual wear, I don't have much reason to dress formally." I said as I scratched at the bandages that covered my chest. I grunted in discomfort as i felt the spot on my back that Dimentio had blasted a few days ago. "I kind of wish I had something a bit more protective though."
"I suppose that would be helpful." Rarity said with a nod. "What with the 'fighting an evil magician' business. Ugh, I wish that jester would wear something more fashionable."
"He wants to kill us all, and your first thought is his choice of clothing." I said incredulously. I mean really, who the hell does that?
"Well, no. I was just making some small talk." Rarity said with some slight frustration.
"I guess that's fine. Well, thanks for the clothing and all. I need to speak with Twilight's brother." I said as I picked up the small boxes and headed to the hospital. I honestly didn't understand how pony hospitals worked. Back home if a horse was injured badly enough we would normally just put it down...I guess that it only made sense that ponies didn't send their fellow citizens to the glue factory, it being a children's show and all. This still raised many questions, but I'm sure the only answers I would get would be the standard 'magic' explanation that I was given by Twilight multiple times. Speaking of Twilight...as much as I appreciated her letting me hang around the library, her constant nagging and questions were starting to get a bit old. She obviously meant well, but I couldn't simply explain all of human history...especially not at the risk of bringing religion to this place. Even though the risk of that was incredibly small, I just didn't want to take it. It definitely wasn't some kind of justification to keep from ranting about the little things about home. I wasn't a misanthropic asshole, but earth doesn't exactly have a great track record when compared to colorful happy pony land.
As I walked into the hospital, I headed towards Shining's room only to find it empty. As I turned around to ask a nurse if he had been moved, my eyes met an interesting sight.
"We need to talk." Shining said as he balanced on his crutches. The ridiculous sight compounded with the fact that Shining's legs weren't even injured was just annoying me.
"Why the hell are you in crutches! How in the hell does that even make sense!"