As Pinkie poured spurts of gasoline all over the interior of Sugarcube Corner, she was not in the greatest of mental states. All she could think about was ridding the world of that awful arachnid, and just when she thought she'd talked herself out of burning the place down, she had another vision of the spider slowly crawling over her body while she slept. Emerging from wherever it was hiding right now under cover of darkness to feed.
Nope.
Nope.
NOPE.
Pinkie had brief flashes of vivid imagery as the gasoline soaked into the floors of the bakery. The look on Fluttershy's face upon learning that her spider had an unfortunate accident. The trauma she was going to cause the poor Cakes upon losing their beloved bakery, followed by joy as they realized how many bits they were going to get out of their insurance policy. Strange blue crystals and volumetric beakers... no, wait, that was someone else.
The gasoline containers were emptied and cast aside, the entire place filling with the nauseating stench of fumes. She'd have to act fast. Pinkie grinned a wild grin on her face as she struck a lighter, the dancing flames reflected in her dilated pupils.
"Time to play, Ida..." She whispered, before throwing the lighter down upon the floor.
Fire sprang up instantly, spreading in all directions. Crackling and consuming everything in its path. It had no restrictions. And Pinkie was standing in the middle of it.
"No getting away now..." She smiled. But her smile quickly faded as a small bit of rational reasoning came through. "I should probably get out of here."
Diving through an increasingly high wall of flames, Pinkie twisted and turned. She didn't seem to be able to fully comprehend her position, and found herself right in the middle of a raging inferno. Every breath she took hurt her lungs, and the smoke stung her eyes. Pinkie pounded on the wall, inching her way towards the front door. "Gotta get out..." She muttered.
The smoke was having a strange effect on her, and ever so slightly her hair was beginning to curl again. "Maybe I overreacted just a little bit."
She finally made her way to the front door, but found her passage blocked by flames.
"Hey! Hey!" She yelled. "Let me out!"
Nopony seemed to be around, at least not that she could tell, but she could hear the wailing of sirens in the distance. After a few minutes, a small voice spoke to her from the other side of the door. "Hello? Is somepony in there?"
"Yes, yes, let me out!" Pinkie screamed. This didn't seem like such a good idea anymore.
"Stand back!" the voice yelled, and Pinkie stumbled backwards. The sharp blade of an axe slammed through the door, and it only took a few strikes before the door crumbled inward. Pinkie leaped through the flames, her fall softened by the yelp of a soft body underneath her.
Nearby, a grey pegasus came running towards them with a small bucket of water. "I'm coming!" She yelled. The pegasus threw the small bucket of water into the flames. It did absolutely no help.
"Nailed it!" She beamed.
As far as Pinkie was concerned, she was now laying atop a squeaking yellow pony. "Was I in your way? I'm sorry..."
Fluttershy was covered in black soot and grime, and had the pink party pony pinned underneath her. The fog in Pinkie's mind had finally lifted, and her breathing was slowly regulating. "Flutter...shy?" She asked, her voice filled with uncertainty and confusion. A small crowd had gathered, all drawn to the burning bakery and pouring flames. "I thought you were supposed to be in Neighbraska."
"Actually it was Reinsylvania."
"New Horsey?"
"Coltorado."
Fluttershy squeaked. "No more puns! I got all the way down there and realized I knew nothing about laughter... or hyenas."
Pinkie sighed. "Yeah, I was wondering about that."
"And on top of all that, on the carriage, look who I found!" With a waving flourish, she produced the biggest tarantula Pinkie had ever seen, and the latter shrieked and jumped backwards.
"What is that?!"
"It's my spider Ida!"
"...What."
Fluttershy smiled softly. "She was with me the whole time, the poor thing must have not wanted me to leave her alone, so she hid in my suitcase. And to think I made you worry about all that for nothing. I hope I didn't cause you too much trouble."
Framed by the flaming remains of the bakery, Pinkie's hair slowly started to deflate again.
"No. No trouble... at all. But Fluttershy?"
"Yes?"
"Never ask me to watch that spider again. I'm... uh... busy." She was really a terrible liar, but Fluttershy didn't seem to notice.
"Oh, that's okay, maybe next time you can watch my pet shark." ZOOM. "You can- Pinkie?" Looking around, Fluttershy suddenly found herself completely alone.
"How does she DO that?" Fluttershy wondered. She looked around, but saw nothing other than the towering flames leaping out of remained of Sugarcube Corner. No matter. Everything would be fixed by next week.
Ponyville was funny like that.