//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8 
// Story: Life as a Pony 
// by Tray Hunter 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 8: Shoo Bee Doo

by Tray Hunter

Ticks saw everything his friend had lived through in the last two years. 
Although some of the memories were incomplete or blured by too much alcohol. 
Every action, every sentence and every thought flashed through his mind. 
Even Smokey's conversations with his brain were almost fully documentated. 
Although the unicorn couldn't relate to some of the topics or his friend's phobia of cupcakes. 
Suddenly the film playing in his head went blue and every experience, the pegasus had, while in magicsensor-mode, showed up before his inner eye.
Bright lights surounded the ponies and suddenly books flew towards him, followed by the face of a grim looking black pony. 
Then everything started to spin around him and all he could see was a small orange glow, comming closer. 
Every time Ticks tried to wake himself up, the scene changed, displaying even stranger events out of the life of his friend. 
After a few short episodes of, what Smokey's brain would call, complete oatmeal, he saw a nice young mare right before him. 
The voice of his friend said "You know... I wasn't born as a pony. I once was a human from another universe. "
The mare frowned at him and answered "If you don't want me to meet your family, you could have just said so! You don't have to invent some stupid stories about "youmanes" or whatever!"
Smokey's eyes watered, bluring the sight of the unicorn who remembered the scene he never had experienced. 
"But it's the truth! Why don't you believe me? Please! I love you!"
Suddenly Ticks fellt a strong pain in his back and the scene switched to a patients room. 
His back did hurt and he couldn't move. 
As the unicorn blinked in pain, a flash before his eyes drew him back into conciousness. 

Ticks moaned and rolled onto his belly. 
"Hey, I think he's waking up!"
Smokey kneeled down to help his friend up, when said one cracked his eyes open and jumped onto his hooves.
"Hey! Are you alright, dude?"
"Dude! How come you survived all of this? You have been beaten. smacked with stuff and fell off a bridge!"
Smokey sighed and shook his head. 
"Because!" he put a hoof on his friends shoulder "If I died, the story would be over!"
Ticks just shook his head and answered "This isn't a story, don't you know?"
The pegasus smiled widely "Yeah, but you never know." 
Lyra cleared her throat, gaining their attention. 
"I guess we have better things to do, than discuss Smokey's dumbluck!"
They looked at her and asked in unision "Like what?"
"Celebrate Ticks' arrival!" she threw her hooves into the air and smiled. 

The three exhumans drank and laughed for hours. 
At about nighttime the bar started to fill and Cider went up a small stage near the table where the three drunken, interdimensional pony-humans sat. 
The crowd gathered before the stage and Cider spoke into his microphone "Hey ther' ponies! Ar' yer ready ta go all wild'n'loud?" 
The voices of about three dozen ponies screamed in unision and Cider answered their enthusiasm with "Well, then her' we goooo!"
Four zebras came from behind the stage and took their positions at the instruments. 
"Wait! Where's Zalli?" one of them said into his microphone, strapping his guitar on. 
Suddenly a fifth zebra fell from the ceiling and landed on the stage, yelling "Are you ready to goooooo wiiiiiild?"
The crowd litterally exploded in excitement as the band started their first song. 

<Sticky hooves and a crooked hook on his side
Trotting wonderland, are you taking me for a ride?
I know it's on again, I guess some friends are hard to make
But I'm gonna take the chance until I break >

"Hey Ticks! Let's get into the action!" Smokey said as the first pits formed before stage. 
"Dude, I can barely stand anymore!" he shrugged "Aah, whatever... Lead on, wingster!"
They jumped right into the masses and moshed for their life.
Although Ticks hesitated for a moment, afraid of hurting somepony with his hooves but after a few minutes he was into it, as if he was the ponified Jamey Jasta. 
After half an hour, Zalli stepped up to the mic and yelled "Are you ready for some madness? This song is called Shooooo Beeee..." the door began to rumble as if something was pressing from outside "Dooooooooooo!"
Suddenly the door broke and hundreds of small creatures bursted into the Eatery and Drinkery. 
"Seeeeeaaaaaapooooooniiiiiieeeeees!!!" the leadsinger screamed, dropping his guitar. 
"Ah' thought, Ah was clear with that setlist Ah gav' yer!"
The zebra at the drums countered "I thought we were far away from the coast! Where did these come from?"
Chef Sandy, who just managed to get to the stage, after fighting his way through the swarm of seaponies, yelled at Cider "Why haven't you told them about the lake?" but was imideatly buried under another flood of the tiny aqua-enqines. 
"Well, Ah KNEW Ah forgot somthin'!" the barpony whispered to himself. 

Smokey lost Ticks in the mass of small creatures but assumed he'd be alright, putting his trust in the grim-dark filter of this crazy world. 
He took off, shaking some of the seaponies from his hooves, and flew out of the door. 
Most of the fans had vanished through the windows when they realized the situation. 
He hovered before the restaurant and yelled "Shoo Bee Doo!"
The living flood blasted right through the hole, that once was an entrance, and gathered underneath the pegasus. 
Evading some jumping aqua enqines, the redmaned pony gained some metres in altitude and guided them towards the Everfree Forest. 
He had to bait them every twenty metres but arrived at the Froggy Bottom Bog atlast. 
"And stay there! That was the last time you bashed our parties! Am I clear?" he shouted at the swarm, kicking them into the moor, bunch by bunch. 
The seaponies protested, shooting some water at the rude, blackwinged airpony with their mouths. 
As they vanished out of Smokey's sight, our beast-defeating hero sighed and left for the bar. 

When he arrived, the retaurant was a mess. 
The stage was basically the only thing, that wasn't affected by the stampede of the tiny creatures. 
Its height was simply too much to overcome for their little flippers. 
Unforunatly Chef didn't make it...didn't make it on the stage of course!
Remember? Grim-dark filter!
He was on the floor in a fetalpostion whining and staring out of the door.
"They were everywhere with their fins! Everywhere!"
Cider and the band, who had been taking cover behind the drumset, lurked at the battlfield. 
Almost every table and every chair was thrown over. 
The only one still standing, was Lyra's. 
The unicorn had casted a magical bubble around her and emptied her drink. 
"Lyra, where is Ticks?" Smokey asked, when the mare dispelled her protective sphere. 
She poured another glass of her beloved Trotka with her magic and pointed upwards. 
The pegasus looked at the ceiling and laughed. 
The blue unicorn was hanging down, his horn pierced into a roof beam. 
"Would you please...Oh I don't know...GET ME DOWN!?" he shouted at the giggling pony. 
"No problem, just..." he broke out in a loud laughter "Hang in there! Hahahaha"
Ticks tried to frown but couldn't help but laugh at the irony. 
The pegasus took off and saved the unicorn from the transfixation of the evil piece of wood. 
Meanwhile Cider was trying to get Chef up. 
"Them's gone now. Yer alright?"
The yellow earthpony shook his head and looked at his friend.
"I...I have scales at places, I never...never knew they even existed!" he rolled on the floor, biting his knees. 
Cider rolled his eyes and said "Not this again. Las' time 't wer' parasprites an' befor' that 't wer' bunnies!"

"What were these things?" Ticks asked his feathered friend "And why did they just storm the bar?"
"These were seaponies." he explained "Usually they are quiet and everything. 
"Usually?  But they almost destroyed the whole place!" the unicorn's face changed to a shocked grimace. 
"They react to a certain "command"! When they hear it, they get all...horny."
His friend frowned at him, scratching some small pieces of wood out of his mane "Could you please stop your hornjokes!"
Smokey rolled his eyes "I mean, its their mating call."
"What? You meann shoo b-"
"Exactly! But never speak this out loud. You saw whats happening when you do so."
Suddenly Lyra smacked a hoof on the table and yelled "Well, I beeet that that fancy Octavia never had to deal with seaponies in her fancy, fancy loft in Manehatten!" she was shaking on her chair "That loft was supposed to be mine!!!"
She fell off the chair and was fast asleep. 
"Are the concerts around here always like that?" Ticks asked. 
Smokey smiled widely "You should see when they play "Ursa, Ursa out of the bush". It's crashing!"

The rest of the night included cleaning the mess from the seapony-plague and unhealthy amounts of free drinks, after Smokey told Cider how he "battled the evil aquaenqines all by himself".
Chef just crawled towards his room, when he found the mental strength to move again. 
Lyra just laid on the ground until sunrise. 
The pegasus knew how unpleassent the mare could be, while sleeping off her prehangover. 

The next morning Ticks and Smokey tried to wake up the mint-green unicorn but after getting slapped in the face by her, they decided to let her be and look after her once they had some breakfast. 
"So...where do we get food in here? I'm starving!"
Indeed, the blue unicorns belly was screaming in his emptyness. 
"Well, I would have asked Chef to cook something but..." Smokey shot Cider an asking look. 
"Enope! We can be happy if'n he stop starin' at that ceilin' anytime soon!" Cider explained, shaking his head.
He left to look after his partner.  
"So, next guess would be...Oh...Sugarcube Corner."
The blackwinged pony stated, getting a suprised look from Ticks. 
"You mean, I'll get to know Pinkie Pie?" his stomach grumbled again "And some food? Awesome!"
"You suddenly seem so eager. Anything you want to tell me about ponies?" the pegasus smiled. 
"Well, after all these flashbacks from your brain, I can't wait to meet all the ponies in this town!"
"Meet ALL the ponies, huh? Well, no problem...as long as you don't make me meet...hng...her again."
"You mean that mare that threw you off that bridge?
How did you two meet anyway?"
Smokey sighed and shot him a serious look. 
"Maybe another time. I'm not in the mood for downer or painfull memories. Leave away memories about pain."

As they trotted through the small village a quite bizare sight occured before them. 
A smaller unicorn with a blonde mane and, what looked like, two metal-sleeves on his legs, fought against an giant half-transparent bear with a sign around his neck saying "Rent-an-Ursa". 
On the head of the ursa stood a brown pony with a styled mane, holding a ball made of metal.
For some reason, said ball was way cooler than it shoould have been.
Ticks couldn't help but stare at it. 
The unicorn stomped on the ground and large stonecolumns shot at the bear-like monster. 
"Who is so small he could hide behind a parasprite?!"
He shouted at the earthpony, who not even bothered to control the manic smile on his face. 
"J00 R 48U7 t4 g3t pwnd by m4h c00l th1ng!"
A bit aside were two other ponies observing the battle. 
One of them was wearing a huge armor and the other one just wore a bored expression on his face. 
"Hey dude, whats going on over there? Looks serious." Ticks asked. 
"Just the usual madness from the fandom. Let's just keep going and hope we don't get shipped with each other. "

When the undercover-humans arived at the local candy and pastrie store, they felt as if their stomachs were about to digest themseves. 
Fortunatley, the store was almost empty.
Only the pink pony with the cotoncandy-like mane was around bouncing on the spot. 
When the mare spotted the redmaned pegasus, she smiled and yelled "Hey there Smokey! What will you have? I'd just have food but somepony just wants to talk or jump or drink or make funny stuff. I love funny stuff but Mrs, Cake said I should concentrate on the work and don't throw parties while shoptime but I loooooveeee to party and so its hard for me to contain myself and not party an-" suddenly a hoof stuck in the mouth of the earthpony, who imideatly stopped her bouncing in midair. 
"We'll just have some muffins, Pinks." Smokey said taking his frontleg down, releasing Pinkie from his facehoof. 
"We?" she looked behind him and noticed the blue unicorn, who looked around to seem busy.
She dashed towards him, leaving a confused pegasus in her tracks. 
"Oh hi! I'm Pinkie Pie and you must be new in town because I know EVERYPONY around! Well, ok there was this one pony but he just had no name, so I had to call him no-name but he's super cool and I'll just have to figure out a name for him when he comes back and we will throw a New-Name-Party for him. "
she gasped "And I'll throw one of my Welcome-to-Ponyville-Parties just for you and we will have fun and sing and dance and play my most favourite games and have goodies and talk about our special talents and it will be sooooo awesoome!"
The bonde pony looked at her, shocked by the information overdose, the pink mare just threw at him. 
"This is Ticks." Smokey explained "He's an old friend of mine and arived here yesterday. Mmh...maybe we should introduce him to the others."
Pinkie's eyes widend, just like the first time she saw the sonic raimboom. 
Then she just said "So, how many muffins will you need?"
Our confused protagonist looked at her in a confused confision, not believing the pink partymare to just calm down and change topics. 
"Pinks? Are you alright?"
She smiled widely "Of course I am alright, you silly filly. But thats the end of the chapter and I can't just run off in excitement or something like that!"

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Tray here

So, rather lot of fouth wall bashing in this chapter, huh?
As ways, if you folks see something you don't like, just let me know!
It doesn't make sense to continue if noone wants to read it :P
Also, for everypony, who couldn't figure out which band I just enqinized, just check this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fdm3hpCvUEw
And leave any suggestions, comments or....you know...
Just leave whatever you think, wherever you think ^^

Tray out