Chapter 7: Dude, you are a Pony!
by Tray Hunter
Breaker's jaw was a just a few inches above the ground.
How could that loudmouth pegasus be still standing, after his last attack, spare the fact that he seemed in better shape than before their fight.
"Nopony could survive that!
You aren't real!
I must be dreaming!"
The pegasus grinned and trotted towards the gang of bullies.
"You know, usually I would agree with that." he said "But I guess the chance to beat some sense into you, is just way too tempting."
With every step the blackwinged pony came closer, the gang took one step back, about to run from the mysterious and obviously supernatural stranger.
"RUUUUUN FOR YOUR...uh....LIVES!!!" Drooly screamed, as he spun around.
Suddenly the pegasus dashed towards him and hit him at the back of his head, knocking the fleeing earthpony to the ground.
Breaker was the next to be struck by a hindleg to the face.
He went down with a suprised expression on his face, wondering how this was even possible, before unconciousness could tear him out of reality.
Smokey turned around to the shuttering Whacko.
The earthpony looked at him in utter shock.
When the pegasus was right before his face, he asked him "Be you Angel?" and he sayed "Neeeiiigh, I am but ma-....shut up!".
The last thing he saw was a hoof striking his face, before he was on the ground aswell.
Suddenly a mare's voice yelled "Will? Were you fighting again?"
Smokey turned around and saw the young earthpony, the bullies were hitting before, being litterally dragged away by an older looking mare.
"You know all these fights are scaring me!
But thats the last time!
You're moving to your aunt and your uncle in Bel Mare!"
The couple turned around a corner and our protagonist scratched his head, considering the allmighty PUNteration to be striking again.
When Applebloom arived with Big Mac, the place looked like after a bombardement with megaspells.
One wall of the local postoffice was completly destroyed and there were small holes all over the place that seemed as if they were made from hooves that had been slammed into the ground.
The three bullies were lying around, kicking from time to time.
In the middle of the battlefield, Smokey stood, his wings spread and a suprised expression on his face.
"I wonder if pony Carlton is even smaller than the original one." he said turning around, noticing the unbelieving looks of the two farmponies behind him.
"Smokey? What the hay hav' yer don'?" the filly asked "An' what happend ta the postoffice?"
"Postoffice?"
Suddenly two eyes looked out of the hole, more or less directly at the pegasus.
"Er, Hi Ditzy." Smokey smiled sheepishly, trying to maintain his pokerface at the sight of the ocassional judging eye crossing his sight.
Ditzy shook her head and pointed first at the hole and then at the redmaned pony, an asking expression on her face.
"Actually the one over there threw me into your wall."
He pointed at Breaker who sput out a tooth of the same shape and bloodcolor as his cutiemark.
"Where am I?
Is that madpony gone?" he looked around.
"Nope, I'm still here!
And you three will fix Miss Doo's wall!
Or else..." the pegasus ordered.
When Applebloom, Big Mac and Smokey left, Ditzy was outside the postoffice, observing the unwilling construction workers, as they rebuild her wall.
They even installed the window, she had been planing there for years.
The farmponies talked our fully restored hero into a quick check at the hospital, after he told them what happend.
"How is this possible?
These wings were broken at multiple places three days ago!"
Nurse Redheart had never seen such a thing before, but a few tests confirmed it.
"Your wings are even stronger than before.
Might I ask you what happend?"
"I was thrown...uhm... through a wall."
Smokey smiled, not believing the fact that this event realy healed his before-broken wings.
He made a mental note to discuss the basics of renovation spells with Lyra and his brain, once he was back home.
"If only everypony had such luck today.
We took in a new patient recently, who was lying completly lifeless at the edge of the Everfree Forest.
The worst, nopony recognizes him.
He must be pretty lonley."
She made a concerned face.
"He is stable but hasn't been moving at all. "
"Not moving? Stranger? Everfree Forest?
Where is this pony?
Maybe I can help him.
If you think he's in the condition to have visits, that is."
The nurse was suprised, how would he be able to help him, a total stranger, without medical knowledge?
After a short consideration she gave her okay for a short visit.
The patient's room was bright and painted in warm colors.
In the middle of it was a single bed with a sleeping pony, lounging on it.
"Dude, wake up!"
No responses came from the unicorn.
"Wakeupwakeupwakeup!
Wake the f*#%ing up!"
Suddenly the eyes of the blue pony with the blonde mane, cracked open.
He looked around but all he saw was the wall on the other side of the room.
He tried to speak but his voice was tired and weak.
"D-Dude? I-Is that you?"
The pegasus sat on a chair beside the bed, still unnoticed by the slightly reliefed unicorn.
"Eyup. It's me. Long time no see, huh?"
"Yeah, w-where were you in the last 2 months?
We were about to worry."
Smokey's eyes widend "Did you just say months?
I've been away for only 2 months?"
"Yeah, since that party.
What happend?
Did you leave early or something?"
"I was dragged into another dimension, where ponies are the dominant species and lived here for about two years!" he gave a dry answer.
"Haha, good one!
But serious!"
Smokey bowed over the bed and looked into the eyes of his now ponyfied friend.
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
The unicorn gasped and his eyes almost popped out of his head.
"What the hell are you?"
"A pegasus pony!"
"But... How?"
"Beats me... Could ask you the same."
"The same? Why? Whats wrong with me?"
Smokey sighed and put a hoof on the chest of the frightend pony.
"Dude, you are a pony, too."
Suddenly the unicorn jumped out of the bed, almost throwing the pegasus over, and just looked at his presumed hands...which now were hooves.
"But...But... How is this possible?
I just was on a concert and sat down for a few minutes!
And why the hell am I a pony now?"
The scared pony sat down, stuttering more confused half-sentences.
"Is it going to be like this forever?" he asked in utter shock.
"Well, given the fact that Lyra has been here for 8 years... probably yes." Smokey stated, feeling sorry for his friend.
"Lyra? Who is Lyra? And why do you seem so calm?"
"Lyra is a ponyfied human, just like we are, and helped me keep my sanity.
For your other question: I've been here for 2 years, Duuuuh!
It's not too bad, once you get used to everything and the local slang is pretty catchy too."
The unicorn shot him a confused look "Slang? These ponies have their own slang?"
"Mostly puns with horse specific words.
Like everypony or trotting, instead of walking.
I'm sure you'll digg it pretty soon.
Although I had kind of an advantage from the show..."
"Show? What show?"
"Aaw, not this again."
The pegasus continued, explaining the nature of the My little Pony show, getting confused and mocking looks from his audience.
"You are realy into all of this?
Dude!"
Smokey shot him a serious look and said "And now you are into it too, wether you like it or not.
But fear not!
These ponies got everything we could posibly need or want...plus magic!"
"They realy believe in magic?
What a bunch of foals."
The redmaned pony's expression mixed with suprise about the already good knowledge of the enquine language and disapointment about the statement itself.
"Dude, you better start believing in magic!
You are a unicorn afterall!"
The blue pony touched his forehead, noticing the strange horn, stucking out of it.
"Oh, great! I'm a pony and got a giant boner on my forehead."
"You know. You should be happy! You can do "tze magicks" afterall! Also a unicorns horn isn't realy considered a boner. Not like..."
The unicorn pony looked suprised at the pegasus, who suddenly had an imense interest in looking at his hooves.
"Not like what?"
"Not like a wingb..."
"A what?"
"A wing..."
"What did you just say?"
"A WINGBONER, FOR LUNA'S SAKE!!!"
The hospital went quiet for what seemed like an eternity.
When the ponies outside, in the hallway went back to their own buisness, the blonde pony broke out in laughter.
"You get an erection in your wings whenever you get turned on?!
Thats prizeless. Hahahahahahaha"
A very unamused and ashamed pegasus was thinking about pretty nasty and rude ways, to stop his friend from laughing at him but then just sighed and asked him "So what, shall I show you around a bit?"
The unicorn stoped his laughter.
He knew, when his friend was changing topics, it's been too much.
"Okay, maybe things will start to make sense, once I get a picture of what I'm in now."
Suddenly the pegasus' look went to the flank of his friend...for no particular reason!
"Good Luna! It's already 3pm?!
Wait... You got a wor..."
"A wor...? What are you talking about?"
He looked at his flank and gasped.
"Are these watches? I have tatoos of watches on my ass?"
On each side of the unicorns rearside were clocks with deformed but fully working hands.
Even one for seconds.
"Dude, you got a ticking clock for a cutiemark. " the pegasus laughed "That sure is usefull...once we're going to boil eggs or something! Hahaha"
This time it was the horned pony who was unamused.
"Cutiemark? Dude, WTF?"
The pegasus ceased his laughing and began to explain about special talents and everything he knew about cutiemarks.
"And thats how Equestria was made..." he shrugged "maybe next time I'll tell you about how I got my cutiemark. It's a gem."
Maybe the blue pony didn't get the refernce but at least he knew when his friend was being sarcastic.
"So, this...cutiemark... means my speicial talent has to do something with time, huh?
Like what?"
"Beats me. Maybe Lyra can help. By the way... maybe we should get Pinks to throw one of her Welcome-to-Ponyville-Partys for you.
Once you get used to hot sauce in your beer, it's realy fun."
"Can't we just sit down and drink? Without party?
Consider how mindblown I am already and from all you said about her, this "Pinks" won't make it better."
Smokey made his "thoughtfull face of thoughtfullnes"TM and thought...in a thoughtfull way!
"Mmh... Drinking but no party? Lyra? Consider... rhymes with cider...!"
The pegasus jumped and hovered on the spot yeling "Eureka! I got it!"
Slowly the unicorn started to get scared by the sudden reactions and outbursts of his friend.
"You got what?"
"The Eatery and Drinkery! It's quiet, they got booze and, judging by the time, Lyra will be there aswell... cursing and flaming about Octavia."
"So...where-"
"To the orchard!! We go!" our enthusiastic protagonist yelled without a second thought and flew through an open window.
"Hey featherbrain! No wings!" the unicorn yelled after him in an anoyed tone.
"Aaw horseapples!" the blackwinged pony came back through the window and landed in front of the bed "Fine... we'll trot."
"Hey AC, is Lyra around?" Smokey asked the busy barpony, who simply pointed at a table in the back of the bar, where a mint-green mass was lounging.
"Thanks, Bro."
"Yer welcom'. The usual fer yer?"
"Sure." he turned around to the unicorn, who was quite overthrown with the new impressions from their short walk through Ponyville "Oh, and one of your specials."
Cider nodded and continued to mix their drinks.
The two former-humans trotted towards Lyra's table, one of them looking around as if he expected a sudden attack out of nowhere.
"Dude, relax! It's a bar, not a battlefield!
Although it looks like one from time to time."
"From time to time?"
Smokey smiled.
"Yeah, AC started to have live bands playing each week. They may not look like, but these ponies can mosh like fullgrown grizzlies!"
"Mosh? They have hardcore? But they look so inocent and quiet!" his friend said while trying to imagine a two-step with hooves. Or is it called a four-step?
"Well, they call it hardclop, but yeah. Once they play, you don't care about anything but thrashing around. "
Meanwhile Lyra was awake again and looked at the two "Huh? Clop?" then she noticed the strange blue unicorn behind Smokey "Who's this? Friend of yours?"
Smokey rolled his eyes and answered "Lyra, he is in the same situation we are in!"
"He doesn't find a job as a musician in this nest?
Well sit down there partner and have a drink."
She waved around, trying to maintain her balance, but simply smacked on the table.
The pegasus' eyes basically rotated in their holes.
"I'm mean, he IS the same we are!"
"Useless and desperated?"
"I'll ignore the fact that you just called me useless.
He is from, where we are from."
Lyra rolled on the table throwning some of the glasses over.
"If he was from, where I am from, he would be dead!"
The pegasus facehoofed "Want me to draw you a sketch or what? He is a hum..."
"A hummingbird? He doesn't look like one."
Smokey was about to throw over the table and leave but suddenly a hoof on his shoulder caught his attention.
"Miss Lyra was it? I'm not from here and wasn't a pony yesterday."
Lyra's eyes cracked open and the sound of a falling penny could be heard.
"You are...? And you know...?"
Smokey shot her an anoyed nod and sat down on a chair near the table.
His friend hesitated for a second, while Lyra seemed to stare right through him, but sat down next to the pegasus.
Meanwhile Apple Cider brought their drinks and poked the unmoving mare in the shoulder. "Lyra, yer okay?"
She shook her head and blinked a few times before reacting "What? Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'll have another glass of your best Trotka."
As Cider left, Lyra stopped him and added "You know, better bring me the whole bottle!"
The barpony shrugged and went back to his bar.
"So, you finaly put the pieces together and overcame your mindblow?" the pegasus asked.
Lyra looked at Smokey and the, meanwhile awkward feeling, unicorn next to him.
"So you realy are a human and you know Smokey here."
"Smokey? Did she just call you Smokey?" the blue pony asked.
The pegasus nodded and looked at him.
"Pony -world, pony-name.
Not everypony has the luck to be named Lyra by his or her parrents."
She smiled widely.
"Afterall, your or my human name would cause too much trouble and attention.
And it sounds just awesome, don't you think?"
He smiled at him and then turned to Lyra, who just winked, saying "Afterall it was me, who named you."
The other unicorn just sighed.
"So you named him?
Am I gonna need a "pony-name" too?
And why is your horn glowing?"
Smokey looked at the mare and noticed the slight shinig on her forehead.
"Are you and B talking again?
And how come I don't hear anything?"
She looked at him and answered with a sheepish smile on her face "Not talking with YOUR brain!
Just getting to know the grey matter of Ticks over there."
The pegasus and the blue unicorn spoke in unision "Ticks?"
'Ticks? I mean, I've been thinking about a name but that one is kinda catchy.'
"Oh, Hello B. How are you holding up?"
The mare smiled at Smokey's forehead.
'Not to bad. You probably should explain the name to Ticks. He's looking as if he's about to drool on Cider's table. '
"And prabably you should stop, pretending I'm not here." Smokey threw into the silence.
He then turned over to the obviously mondblown unicorn, whose train of thought had been falling down a cliff and exploded...twice, no three times...in a row!
"It's all a dream! I just have to wake up!"
The unicorn whispered, starring at an imaginary tennisgame before him.
"Aw, not this again. Lyra? Would you?" Smokey asked.
"With pleasure!" she slammed a straight hoof right into the blonde ponies shoulder, dragging him backt to reality.
"Ouch! What was that for?" he screamed.
"To stop you, from drooling all over the place.
And from pretending we were not real."
Smokey explained "Not like I can't relate to your situation but all the starring will get you nowhere fast. "
Ticks looked at him in confusion and asked "Who is this B?
And why can Lyra talk to him, while he's not around?"
'Oh, Lyra please. Can you link me to him?
Maybe I can help explaining the situation.'
"Linking? You sure thats a good idea?"
The pegasus looked at Lyra in concern, while the third pony was about to lose it again.
"Havn't done this before but... Have magic, will link!"
Lyra's horn started to shine brighter, as a thin line between Smokey's and Ticks' foreheads appeared.
'Hey, is this thing on? TEST TEST!'
"What is this? Whose voice is this? Where are you?"
'Call me B. This voice is mine and I am right before you.'
The confused pony looked in the face of the pegasus.
'Warm... But a bit more to the north.'
Ticks' look went up to Smokey's forehead.
'Hot! Thats me behind that piece of wood.'
The blackwinged pony hit his head with a hoof.
"Stop that B! I know where you live!"
'And I know where you would be without me!'
"Touchė.
But get to the point and don't crack his sanity any further. "
'Okay, so... Ticks.
Ticks Ticks Ticks.
Kinda like that, fits your cutiemark. '
The unicorn frowned at the voice in his head.
"Could you please stop that?"
'Oh sorry. Now, everything began two years ago and... you know what?
I'll simply show you!'
The magical line between Smokey and Ticks began to pump every memory, B wanted to share with the unicorn, into the brain of said one.
All the informations flickered before his inner eye and suddenly everything went black.
*Thump* He fell to the ground and passed out.
"B! I guess you overdid it!"
Smokey said, while he checked if his friend was alright.
"How pathetic!" Lyra said, taking another sip from the Trotka "Back then, I copied ten times that much memory from B and he is passing out after the filtered information of 2 years?"
'At least he didn't run...yet.'
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Hay there folks, Tray here!
Told you I'll figure out a way to let B have his moments ^^
So...lot of unexplainable things in this chapter, huh?
Fully restored wings, another ponyfied human and drunken Lyras.
Well, maybe the last one isn't that much of a mystery XD
I've planned lots of twists and even more mysteries...and puns...in the next chapters but will have to see if I can bring them all on without creating a total overdose of confusion and stuff.
If I do things too fast, chance is that either your mind gets blown or I'll run out of ideas too fast
But fear not!
I sense lots of exciting coming up!
As always, leave any suggestions, critics or comments in that little textfield down below or just send me a message.
Please folks...I lack some feedback Oo
Doesn't matter if you think I'm a god or want to feed me to a manticore!
Although a reason for latter would be rather helpfull XD
Till next time
Tray