//------------------------------// // Bombs and Board Games // Story: The Worst Villain Ever! // by Battlecrank //------------------------------// Xeno sat in his desk, hunched over a mortar and pestle. He was close to perfecting the ultimate in defensive alchemy. Soon, no one would be able to oppose him! Soon, he would be able to do whatever his heart desired, be it conquering all of Equuis, or just stopping off down at Sweet Apple Acres to steal some of their prized cider, ensuring that they unexpectedly run out earlier then expected. Soon, he would be invincible! He would call it... Pocket sand! His attention was relocated, however, when he heard a sound at the entrance to his lair. Looking in that direction, he saw three shadows make their way inside. Following their progress as they tried to be sneaky, his curiosity eventually got the better of him. “Do you need something?” The shadows all froze, desperately hoping that he wasn't speaking to them. For a few moments, it was as if the world stood still in the presence of the possibly alien villain. However, when it became evident that he was, in fact, speaking to the shadows, and not that weird ball painted with a smiley face sitting in the corner, the figures casting them stepped out into the light. The three figures soon stood next to Xeno's desk, maniac smiles splayed across their faces. Each of their eyes were cold, having seen hundreds crushed without remorse by their actions alone. Their figures radiated energy, strong enough to rival that of a sun, and they obviously had the experience to know how to use it. A sudden sense of foreboding overcame Xeno as the three figures suddenly took deep breaths. For Xeno, the world would never be the same. Pinkie finished her end-of-the-day chores, grabbed some snacks, and headed down into the basement of the Sugarcube Corner. As she descended the stairs, she flicked the light switch on with her tail. Once she had reached the bottom, she looked at the equipment scattered around the room, and the table in the center of it with a figure lying on top. Taking a deep breath and putting on a smile that most would call crazy, she asked the ultimate question. “Do you want to help me make Cupcakes, Xeny?” Xenolance looked up from his position prone on the table, an eyebrow raised in confusion. “Umm... No...,” Xeno said. Pinkie shrugged, assuming he'd help later. In the mean time, there were more pressing issues at hoof. “Why did you want to stay here again?” Xeno cringed, before sitting up on the table with a sigh.“My lair was destroyed. I didn't really have much of a choice, it was either stay here or at ButterEye's-” “Fluttershy.” “Whatever. It was either here or there, and those animals really don't like me. Hopefully, this will only be a temporary setback until I get back on my feet.” Xeno sighed again, before scowling at Pinkie. “You had better hold up your end of the deal! I paid good money to hide out here.” “Don't worry, Xeny! I already Pinkie promised I wouldn't tell anypony that wants to arrest you that your hiding down here.” Xeno simply grunted in response, lying back down on the table. Pinkie, in an attempt to keep the conversation going, asked the first thing that came to mind. “How did your lair get destroyed?” “CUTIE-MARK CRUSADER EVIL-DOERS! YAY!” “I don't want to talk about it,” Xeno said with a shudder. “Oh...” The silence came back in force, causing Pinkie's smile to loose it's strength. In another bid to keep it at bay, she asked another question. “So... What are you going to do tonight, Xeny?” A dry chuckle came from the villain on the table. Xeno rolled off the table and onto his feet, walking over to the backpack he had brought with him lying against the wall. As he dug through it, he responded. “The same thing I do every night, Pinkie...” Pinkie quirked an eyebrow as Xeno pulled something out of the backpack. He soon presented a large multicolored box with forbidden arcane symbols adorned it's surface. What wasn't covered in symbols depicted a massive battle of unending death, destruction, and eternal agony. “TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!” Pinkie looked at the box, and a smile quickly reappeared on her face. “I love board games! Can I play?!” “Do you know how?” “Pu-lease! It's just Risk! Who doesn't know how to play that?” “And that's why you can't go into the basement!” The cake twins stared at Pinkie curiously. For some reason, she was wearing a bicorne and had a cape. Both were battle-worn, showing signs of heavy use, while being chard around the edges. Adding to their confusion, various amounts of strange colored fluid coated her fur, along with scorch marks and a fine coating of dirt. Noticing the looks, Pinkie smiled. “You should see the other guy.”