//------------------------------//
// Alternate Ending 
// Story: Gloomy Sunday 
// by TimbukTurnip 
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Dear Princess Celestia

On the day of the thousandth year of the Summer Sun Celebration, you sent me to the quaint little town of Ponyville with two instructions: To supervise the festivities, and, more importantly, to make some friends. Despite my frustration and my attempts to avoid the second task, both were completed with great success.

So much happened that day. I met five of the best ponies I could ever hope to meet. Together, we discovered that we represented the Elements of Harmony. We entered the ominous Everfree Forest and survived. We stopped Nightmare Moon, essentially rescuing Princess Luna in the process.

I discovered the magic of friendship.

I never thought I was missing out on anything before. I thought having friends would just be an unnecessary distraction from my studies.

The day of Nightmare Moon’s return showed me how wrong I was. It revealed to me how brilliant a thing friendship is and how much it can improve your life.

After spending so many years at school without giving friendship even a single thought, gaining five best friends in one day through the defeat of a hateful and bitter villain was certainly and overwhelming shock. 

It was also the best feeling in the world.

The things me and my friends have done – from small things like helping a misunderstood zebra become a very welcome visitor to our town, to big things such as saving Equestria a second time from the clutches of Discord – are now all unforgettable memories that I feel incredibly privileged to have been a part of. I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything.

At least, I wouldn't have before. Now though, I'm not so sure.

You see Princess, you made friendship seem like an incredibly amazing and magical thing - and of course, as me and my friends have proven, you were right. However, there is a side to friendship you never told me about. A side you omitted when encouraging me to make friends and that, until recently, I had never thought about.

A side filled with pain.

Tell me Princess, how does one cope with the loss of not one, but two friends? How does one cope when one of those friends took their own life?

As you know, we recently lost our ever loyal friend, Rainbow Dash. It was so sudden and unexpected, none of us were prepared for it. The fact that we will never again see our friend grace the skies with a trail of rainbow, or shatter the sound barrier in an explosion of colour - it is an incredibly depressing thought, one that I believe will perpetually haunt our minds for the rest of our lives. I feel my heart gripped with pain and my body wracked with nausea every time I think about it. I don't imagine the others fare any better; despite this however, and with the help of the others, I was starting to find a way through the pain, through the dark and haunting thoughts. We all were. We were all severely affected, each of us in different ways, but we were beginning to cope, albeit only just. 

All of us except Pinkie it seems.

She killed herself Princess. Took her own life in order to be with Rainbow. The pain must have just been too great for her to bear.

In the note left for us, she said she hoped we understood that this was what she wanted, and that we wouldn’t be sad. Well, I’m not sad; I’m empty. Hollow. I shed all my tears when Rainbow passed; now with Pinkie gone too, I don’t have any tears left to lose. I just feel devoid of all sadness. Devoid of almost every emotion in fact; all that remains in my heart now is disappointment. 

Disappointment in myself.

I’m a terrible friend. All of us must be terrible friends, surely; if we weren’t, wouldn’t Pinkie have come to us for help? For comfort and support? Wouldn’t we have noticed something – anything – that would have indicated she might have been contemplating taking her own life? 

After the initial shock of Rainbow’s death passed, we found ourselves leaning on each other for in order to cope with her absence; using each other’s shoulders to cry on, or reminiscing about times spent with the fastest flier in Equestria. We should have noticed something was amiss with Pinkie during those moments, but we never did. The others and I found comfort in each other, but for Pinkie, I guess it just wasn’t enough. We weren’t good enough for her, and now she’s gone.

It makes me wonder – are my other friends capable of escaping the hardships of life the way Pinkie did? This whole affair has broken Fluttershy’s heart – losing her childhood friend was devastating to her, but then to lose another friend shortly after? Through suicide? I can’t imagine what that’s like to a demure pony like her, and I don’t want to. She’s been very distant lately, often choosing to remain at home rather than meet up with the rest of us. Should I be worried that she might be thinking of following in Pinkie’s hoofsteps? I wouldn’t think her capable of it, but I didn’t even consider Pinkie of being able to do such a thing either. What would I do if she did take her life? If any of my friends took their lives – again?

It’s this that brings me back to what I said before. Previous to the loss of two of my best friends, I wouldn’t have traded the things we’ve shared – the memories, the adventures, the experiences, any of it – for anything in the world. Now, after so much pain, my resolve in that belief falters. I begin to wonder if, given the option, I would have all memories of my friends removed. Erased. Forget their existence entirely, move back to Canterlot and go back to the life of a friendless student. Part of me is ashamed to even be thinking this, but if I was once again ignorant to the magic of friendship, I would also be blissfully unaware of the pain that comes from permanently losing it. 

I love the girls. They’re like family to me. However, the pain of losing them, as well as the fear of losing them, begs the question – is friendship really worth it? Are all the pleasant memories that come with it really worth the risk of suffering unexpected and immense heartache at any point in time? 

As of yet, I don’t know the answer to that question. I don’t know if moving back to Canterlot and forgetting my friend is something I should actually consider doing. I don’t know whether that would actually work or not.

I just don’t know.

I suppose this is all just some convoluted lesson in friendship, isn’t it? Something new for me to report on? Well, here’s what I’ve learnt: Friendship, being the wondrous thing it is, comes with a rather large catch. An incredible risk. In a single day, without warning, the joyous friendship you hold dear to your heart can be snatched away from you, to be replaced with seemingly perpetual pain.

Perhaps this means that you should savour each and every moment you and with your friends.

Perhaps it means that life is much easier if you never have any friends. 

Again, I don’t know.


I do know that this letter has gone on too long though. I’m sorry to lay all this on you so suddenly Princess, I just thought you should know about Pinkie. I suppose I ended up unintentionally putting all my thoughts onto paper in the process.

Sorry.


Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle.