Twilight had spent the entire day studying the art of kung-fu and decided she should grab a bite to eat. As she left the library, she fully expected an opportunity to arise where she could demonstrate her new found knowledge. But, with Ponyville being a dull and uneventful place, such a chance was very unlikely.
She took a seat at her favorite restaurant and ordered a daisy salad. As she waited for her order, she hoped to see a defenseless mare being mugged or a hoard of ninjas leap from the darkness. Sadly, no such events occurred.
A waiter Twilight had never seen before approached her table with a silver platter. He was a handsome earth stallion with five o’ clock shadow on his chiseled-from-stone face. His muscles rippled as he trotted and his long, golden mane flowed behind him.
“Did you order the daisy salad?” he asked with a deep voice. He looked down at her with radiant blue eyes and a smile that could only be achieved through extensive dental work and teeth whitening procedures.
Twilight nodded dreamily and stared at her waiter, batting her eyelashes.
“Well then, here you go,” he said, winking and lifting the lid on the silver platter. Where there should have been Twilight’s meal, there was an AK47. Her eyes darted from her waiter to the weapon and she flipped her table. The waiter grabbed the AK and began firing at the table.
Twilight did six consecutive back flips, all the while dodging a flurry of bullets. The restaurant patrons screamed and tried to exit the building in a panic. The waiter’s eyes lost sight of Twilight and frantically scanned through the chaos. Suddenly, a single fork collided with his hoof, sending the AK47 flying out of his grasp. He looked up to see Twilight levitating a collection of silverware.
“I had no idea you’d put up such a fight,” he said, ripping off his waiter outfit. He wasn’t wearing anything beneath, but for some reason, he now had an eye patch. He stood on his rear hooves and signaled for Twilight to approach him.
She sent the silverware flying at him and he expertly deflected them with his hooves. Twilight screamed and lunged across the restaurant while performing a flying kick. The stallion did the same, and they collided half way. They exchanged kicks and punches; each countering the other’s attacks.
They performed identical back flips and stood panting and looking at each other. “Who are you? What do you want?” Twilight asked angrily.
The stallion took a step forward and Twilight readied herself again. “The name’s Casings. Shell Casings,” the stallion said coolly. “And I want you.” He leapt into the air and performed roughly seventeen bicycle kicks. Twilight held her forearms out to deflect the kicks, all the while backpedaling until she was against a wall. With one final kick, Shell Casings sent Twilight through the brick wall of the restaurant.
She crashed through to the streets and lay in the dirt. A shadow was cast over her and she looked up to see Shell standing above her. Just as he was about to say something condescending, a metallic blur smashed into him. Whatever it was sent the stallion through the wall of the restaurant with a crash. The building’s structural integrity was now non-existent, and the roof collapsed, leaving the building nothing more than a pile of rubble.
Twilight stood up and watched as a pile of bricks slowly began to stir. A metal pony with glowing green eyes climbed out of the debris, and it did a scan of its surroundings. When its eyes rested on Twilight, she tensed up and got ready to fight.
“Threat detected,” the robot said in an adorable, pitched voice. It took several steps toward the purple unicorn. Twilight tried to cast a spell on it, but her magic simply didn’t work, so she did the next best thing. She levitated two large rocks, and smashed the robot between them. All that was left was a smudge of motor oil and a few pieces of scrap metal.
Quite proud of herself, Twilight approached the destroyed restaurant and began searching the rubble for her original attacker. When she found him, he was unconscious, so she carried him back to the library.
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“Oh, you’re awake! Good!” Twilight said as her groggy guest slowly stirred. She trotted over to the stallion and smiled into his face.
He tried to reach out his hooves to cause her harm, but found he was entirely bound by a length a rope. “Let me out of here!” he shouted.
“Nope!” Twilight said. “Not until I get some answers.”
The stallion grumbled and looked away from his captor.
“Alright, I’ll be upstairs if you change your mind,” Twilight said, walking toward the basement’s staircase.
“Wait.”
“Yes?”
“What do you want to know?”
“Well,” Twilight began, “for starters, why did you attack me in the restaurant?”
“Because I have to kill you,” Shell replied.
“Okay…” Twilight said, raising her eyebrow. “Why?”
“Because you’re responsible for a robotic apocalypse in the distant future, and I’ve been sent back in time to stop you.”
Twilight stared at her captive and started laughing. He didn’t see the humor and started resisting against his restraints harder. “It’s true!” he shouted. “You saw that robot! It followed me from the future!”
“Let’s put this paradox to rest, shall we?” Twilight said smugly. “I won’t build any robots, I promise.” They stared at each other for a moment and the smile from Twilight’s face slowly started to fade. “Huh,” she said.
“What?” Shell Casings asked angrily.
“Well, you should have disappeared. See, if I never build robots, you would have never had a reason to go back in time, and so you wouldn’t be here right now.”
“Well, then you lied,” he replied.
“No I didn’t lie!” Twilight defended herself. “Why in Equestria would I build robots anyway?”
“You built the first one when your sister died.”
Twilight just looked at him in confusion. “My sister? I don’t have a sister?”
This time, Shell returned the confused look. “Y-yes you do.”
“No. I don’t. I think some facts may have been lost over time, and you—”
“HER NAME IS SWEETIE BELLE!”
Twilight stopped and stared at Shell. “That’s Rarity’s sister,” she said quietly.