Dear Twilight Sparkle:
Are you serious? They accepted Rainbow into the Wonderbolt Academy?! Well, I guess the Wonderbolts' best days are now officially behind them. Especially since they kicked out that promising young recruit... what was her name? Thunder Powder, or something like that.
Anyway, don't worry about Pinkie's weird behavior. She was probably just high on lightning dust or something. Especially if she was charitable enough to want to personally deliver a care package. Which, come to think of it, would probably have way better stuff than the crap they serve in those academy cafeterias. Have you ever tasted that stuff?
I must say, you really made the right choice going off to deliver the package personally. I mean, how else could you have had a near-death encounter with a deadly twister? I can think of very few things I love more than watching you scream in terror as you fall towards your inevitable death. Of course, why Rainbow would bother to save you is beyond me.
But before I go any further, let me get one thing straight: you say that Rainbow managed to catch you... with a cloud? Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to fall right trough them unless you're a pegasus? How can you land on a cloud, let alone bounce on it? Did you secretly apply the cloud-walking spell onto yourself before falling on it? If so, then am I supposed to believe you also performed it on the others?
If so, then I'm glad you enjoy spending time with your friends so much! I should see if there are any other ways I can make you keep spending time with them.
Especially since Rainbow left you all on that floating island with no way down.
Your friend-appreciating former teacher, Princess Celestia.
P.S.: Huge green gem? Oh please, next you'll say it's being guarded by a red echidna or something.
Dear Rainbow Dash:
I'm happy to see you have a little sister figure now! Just remember to follow my example for being a good big sister, and everything should be just fine!
Your sister-loving monarch, Princess Celestia.