“So, what do we do now, Ian?”
“I walk,” I clarified. “Thankfully, we’re only a few blocks away from the disposal facility. It shouldn’t be long for me to get there.”
“What? What do you mean, ‘I’? Trixie demands you take her with you!”
I brought my palm to my forehead in irritation. “Trixie, how do I put this delicately...If I took you with me, I would look crazier than the homeless that wander the streets here.”
“Why?” she innocently asked.
“Because nobody walks around this city toting small trash cans. That’s the sort of thing you see someone carrying while walking out of a hardware store, not to a disposal facility...as ironic as that sounds.”
“NO!” she yelled, causing my ears to ring for a moment. “Trixie does not care about your appearance to others. Trixie WILL be taken to this disposal facility at once!”
“Then how do you suggest we do it, then? I won’t walk the streets with a talking trash can, and you won’t stay here in the car.”
There was a small pause before Trixie responded, “Aha! Trixie knows how to solve this conundrum!”
“Please elaborate.”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie will make this trash can...disappear!”
“Oh great! So now I get to carry an invisible trash can! That’ll make me look less crazy for sure!”
“Augh, don’t you have something like a saddlebag to carry Trixie in then?”
“Saddlebag?” As an image of one flew in my head, I realized she probably meant something like a tote bag. I didn’t have anything like that...but I did have something else that could work.
“Trixie, wait here for a minute, okay?” I opened the driver-side car door, and had one foot touching the pavement.
“What? Where are you going? Trixie demands an answer!”
I rolled my eyes before responding. “I need to get something out of the trunk so I can carry you without looking like a nutjob. Can I do that, or do I need to get a collar and leash so you can tug me around all day?”
“Hmph, Trixie doesn’t need such petty restraints. Have you forgotten about what Trixie can do to you?”
I sighed, “No, I haven’t. Seriously though, I’ll be gone for just a few minutes, okay?”
“Fine. Hurry up, Ian! Trixie doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” The notes of irritation in her voice struck a nerve in my head. She had been here less than a few minutes and was already starting to annoy me.
I found myself enjoying the noise of the city much more than the inside of my car as I stepped outside. Honking horns and the shuffling of footsteps on the pavement sounded like heaven compared to Trixie’s voice.
Small bits of gravel crunched underneath my shoes as I rounded the car to reach the trunk. Key grasped firmly in hand, I unlocked my trunk, lifted the lid, and began to peruse its contents.
The usual stuff for emergencies were all there: Spare tire, tire iron, car jack, jumper cables, and a small toolkit for an emergency nut-and-bolt repair. A few bungee cords were stored in a corner just past the toolbox; they were my target. Grasping them, I shut the trunk and returned to the front seat of the car.
I held one of the bungee cords over the top of the trash can so Trixie could see it.
“Ian, what is that?”
“It’s what I’m going to use to carry you. Can you make this invisible as well?”
“Hah, ‘Can I?’ You doubt the Great and Powerful Trixie?” she spoke in a boastful manner.
“I’m beginning to doubt bringing her along was ever a good idea in the first place.”
“No, I don’t. I was just asking. You don’t have to treat every question as a challenge, Trixie.”
I heard a gasp as she caught her breath for a moment...and then I heard something I thought she would never say: An apology.
“Sorry, Ian. That’s just something Trixie does during her stage act. She challenges ponies to do better than her, and they usually don’t.”
“Usually?” I inquired.
“Well, I got into a little more trouble than I bargained for once, and it almost cost me my life.”
“Wow, I can really rela-wait, what? Your life?!” My face went numb for a moment as the weight of her statement hit my mind. What on earth did this pony do to endanger herself that badly?!
Apparently she had just realized this too, for she quickly changed the subject. “T-Trixie doesn’t need to tell you of her woes! You still owe me a hat, Ian! Focus on the task at hoof!”
I was going to correct her that I have a hand and not a hoof, but I knew that she wanted to skip this subject, so I let it go. Despite my curiosity, I was still indebted to her, and that took priority over everything else.
I wrapped two of the bungee cords around the top and bottom of the trash can, making two loops with them. The bulbous-shape of the can helped so that the cords naturally went toward the top and bottom of the can, which would make it easier to secure it to my back. I fed a third cord through both of the loops, fashioning a sling that I could put through my arm and drape over my shoulder.
Satisfied with my work, I put my arm through the loop and hoisted it so that the trash can rested nicely on my back. The weight of it was unusual, as I had expected Trixie to add a few pounds to it, but it weighed exactly the same as before when I took the empty can out to the car. I guess I should be thankful for this. That means it won’t be difficult to carry her around.
“Alright Trixie, I’m ready. Go ahead and do your magic thing.”
I heard her grunt in disapproval, but she said nothing else. Instead, I heard a faint buzzing sound as Trixie charged up her horn as she cast her invisibility spell.
It took her a few moments, but as I cast my head over my shoulder to observe her casting, the effects were noticeable. I could partially see through the trash can at first, but then the trash can completely vanished from my sight, as did the bungee cords I attached. The only indicator I had that Trixie was still there was the weight of the can on my back and Trixie’s strained breaths as she recovered from using her magic.
“Trixie...is done, Ian,” she spoke in between breaths.
She sounded very exhausted. If I had to venture a guess, I’d say that it was probably her first time using that spell. But I didn’t know if that was the case, so I said nothing and instead left the car to walk to the trash disposal facility. I locked the car on the way using the lock switch on my keyring, grating my teeth as my horn MEEPED like the Roadrunner from Looney Tunes.
“What was that, Ian?”
“Just ignore that. Pretend you never heard it.”
---------------------
It had been a few minutes since he slung me over his shoulder, but due to my obscured view only showing the sky and tall buildings around me, I had no idea if we were close to the facility or not.
“How much further are we going, Ian?” I asked.
“Not much longer, Trixie. Now, please be quiet. I’m coming up to the security gate now.”
I wanted to chide him for shushing me, but I understood what he meant. If I spoke while he was around other people, that would cause problems neither of us wanted to deal with.
“Morning, Ian. What’s your business here?”
I heard a gruff-sounding male speak, though I dared not to look. I forgot to tell Ian that this invisibility spell I cast only works on the trash can. I can’t make myself vanish, nor can I dim the light that comes from the portal I’m using. So if anyone looks down through the opening of the can, they’ll see me.
“Morning, Al. I’m here to speak to Mike. Could you tell him I’m here?”
“Sure, one moment.”
I still don’t know what to think of him. He’s a weird human...or whatever he calls himself. Taking me to a disposal place on wheels, of all things? How can he put so much trust into something so untrustworthy?
“Mike? Yeah, it’s me. Ian’s at the gate, you want me to let him in?”
Although, I must say that he knows how to accept a challenge. I didn’t expect him to eat out of that “plunger” weapon he used on me. I don’t care how well he cleaned it, that was still disgusting to watch! I don’t even know why I demanded to see him eat from it with my own eyes!
“Uh-huh, alright, I’ll let him in. You owe me a doughnut tomorrow morning though--you know which one! The one with the maple glaze and the bacon bits!”
There was a moment of silence before I heard him speak again. “Okay Ian, you can head on up to his office.”
“Thanks, Al. Oh, and tell your wife I said ‘hello’.”
I waited for Ian to walk into the disposal facility before I tried talking. I knew we were inside due to the stench that filled the air after a few minutes. It wasn’t worse than Ian’s plunger, but it was still awful.
“Okay, we’re in, right?”
“Yep. I just need to talk to Mike to figure out where the trash was dumped, then he and I will search for your hat, Trixie.”
“That will take too long. I have a show to start in a few hours! Thankfully, I’m prepared for this.”
“Actually, since you brought me along, Trixie can find her hat easily.”
“What? You can? How?”
“How? Does he know who he’s talking to?”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie has placed a spell on all her articles of clothing should they ever get lost. All I need to do is cast the spell and my hat should glow, allowing you to find it easily,” I clarified.
“Wow, that’s actually pretty convenient. I’m glad I brought you with me, Trixie. Without something like that, Mike and I would probably spend a few hours looking for it.”
“I’d rather you spend minutes looking for it, Ian. Now hurry along, and don’t keep Trixie waiting!”
He sighed, “Yes, your Majesty.”
“Majesty? I’m not a princess! I’m a magician, a traveling showpony! He dared to compare me to royalty?
“That’s...a flattering statement, actually. I won’t berate him for that.”
“T-thank you, I-” I began.
“Shh, no more talking. We’re about to enter the facility.”
“Okay, now I want to berate him for hushing me again.”