//------------------------------// // Apple Fritter Likes Beavers (2 of 3) // Story: Apple Fritter Likes Beavers // by generalsnaz //------------------------------// Apple Fritter Likes Beavers Part 2 The part no one will want to read after reading Part 1. (But they should anyway.) Applejack checked her pack nervously to see if the presents were still there. They were, of course. They had been the last 20 times she checked. She fumbled around until she saw the box of chocolates, the bouquet of roses, and the gift-wrapped pair of hair bows. Huffing proudly, she closed up her pack and continued on her way. The Ponyville Pet Center Fundraiser had ended quite some time ago, and Applejack had spent the rest of the evening tracking down shop owners and convincing them to open up long enough for her to buy some gifts. She now trotted home to Sweet Apple Acres with the collection of presents riding with her. The guilt of seeing her precious Apple Fritter so distraught over their argument prompted the kind-hearted Applejack to try to make amends. Expecting to find a very uncooperative cousin waiting for her back home, she hoped an assortment of gifts would open up avenues of conversation in which she could sincerely apologize. Not that AJ thought she was wrong of course; she was in the right about no-good, dam-building, farm-flooding, beaver varmints. However, she acknowledged that she may have been a tad cruel when explaining that to Apple Fritter. (Applejack had been a real jackhole.) Anyway, point is, what I'm getting at is, the main focus is she was ready to make things right when she arrived home and walked into the dining room to find her family sitting around watching a beaver doing that Russian squat-and-kick dance on the table. (What a talented beaver!) With some country twang song playing on the record player, Gnawty Bits danced about and made an awful mess of dinner: knocking over drinks and kicking up food. But Granny Smith didn't seem to mind, as she and the rest of the Apples were hootin' and hollerin' in approval and thoroughly enjoying the show. "Whut in tarnation?" Applejack exclaimed at the sight of pure mayhem in the holiest room in the house: the dining room. Her sanctuary. The one place in the house where she forbade rowdiness. The one place she could relax and eat a hardy meal after a long day's work. But now... Now there was a dirty beaver in it, and it was stepping in her mashed potatoes. "Hey, Applejack! Look!" Applebloom piped up while mimicking the dance on her own chair. "Apple Fritter got a pet beaver at the fundraiser!" Applejack dropped her pack and managed to stutter out a response, "Oh, she did, did she?" The stunned farm mare turned to her cousin who just smiled pleasantly at AJ's accusatory look. "Yeah! And I ain't never seen anythin' dance like her before!" Applebloom responded. Gnawty Bits smoothly transitioned to performing a river dance at the drop of that compliment. The beaver's attentive audience erupted in cheers. "Darn tootin'!" Granny Smith hollered. "That beaver sure can shake her groove thang!" Everypony expected Big Mac to say his usual "Eeyup" at this point, but he just nodded in agreement instead. (How suspicious.) "Wow... y'all sure do like this beaver, don'tcha?" Applejack grimaced through gritted teeth and a forced smile. She kept her distance from the scene by staying safely in the doorway. "Why, of course they do, Applejack!" Apple Fritter said slyly from across the table. "Everypony loves Gnawty Bits. She's sweet, funny, talented, aaaaand..." Apple Fritter and Applebloom put arms around each other's shoulders and shouted in unison: "SHE HAS THE BEST NAME EVER!!!" Applejack's eye twitched briefly. "So..." she started hesitantly, "Y'all... are okay... with having this critter here?" "Oh, PFFFTT!!! Corn feathers! 'Course we are!" Granny Smith answered. "There's always room for one more apple in the Apple Family! 'Specially one that can dance so well!" "Yeah!" Applebloom responded, now cheering on Gnawty Bits as the beaver spun around on her head like a boss. Big Mac nodded. (Suspicious again.) Apple Fritter smiled coyly and triumphantly presented the family's answers to Applejack with a hoof gesture. AJ shot her an agitated look, but Fritter just deflected the attack with a casual look away. Applejack decided she needed to subvert the induction of this new family member before everypony became attached. "I don't know, y'all..." Applejack started casually. "Beavers are ornery critters; it don't feel right havin' one in the house. Maybe-" But before she could finish her plea, Apple Fritter sent a discrete wink to Gnawty Bits who acknowledged it with a subtle nod. Then with pre-planned accuracy, the beaver "accidently" smacked a plate of food towards Applejack. With a SPLAT, the orange pony's face became covered in mashed potatoes, peas and carrots. With a screech, the record player stopped and the Apples all gasped in surprise. (Shutup. I know it's cartoon cliché. Don't judge.) "Oh, dear! Applejack!" Apple Fritter exclaimed with extraordinarily piss-poor acting. "What a terrible accident!" "You all right, child?" Granny Smith asked as she approached to help her granddaughter who had fallen to her flank. "I'm fine, Granny," Applejack answered. When she wiped off the mess and once she was able to see again, she shot an angry glare at her scheming cousin. Apple Fritter and Gnawty Bits both had the most fiendish grins imaginable spread across their faces. With devilish joy, they stared triumphantly down at Applejack from their high perch of the table. "I know y'all did that on purpose," AJ said sternly at the two. "Whuuuuaaaat?" Apple Fritter asked, feigning shock. "Gnawty Bits would never do such a thing! Her tail just slipped, that's all!" On that cue, the multi-talented Gnawty Bits turned to Applebloom. With her tiny beaver hands pleading innocence to the young filly, she got on her tiny beaver knees and her tiny beaver eyes swelled up with tears (and somepony, somewhere played a sad song on a tiny beaver violin.) "Aw, she didn't do nuthin' wrong, Applejack," Applebloom told her sister as she fell for the ploy and petted the creature. "It was jus' a mistake." Big Mac nodded again. (Still suspicious.) "Uh-huh," Applejack replied, unconvinced, as she got up of the floor and wiped off the last bits of mashed potatoes. "Apple Fritter, can I have a word with you." She squinted angrily and added, "In private." "Heh-heh!" Granny Smith nudged Applejack with her elbow. "Lover's quarrel, eh?" "Wha- Gran- No- What!?" Applejack sputtered out, taken by surprise. "Hee-hee! I'm just joshin' ya, child," Granny giggled with a wink. "Oh... heh heh..." Applejack nervously laughed before diverting the conversation. "Granny, I'm famished. Do you think you could mosey on into the kitchen and start dinner while I speak to Fritter?" "Whudya mean start dinner? I dun finished it already," Granny Smith explained, pointing to the table. There was a few moments of awkward silence as all the Apples stared in unison at the complete mess Gnawty Bits had made. "Oh," Granny Smith said as she finally realized. "Well, don't none of y'all fret none: there's more where that came from." "I'll help!" Applebloom offered excitedly as she hopped off her chair and darted into the kitchen. "Alrighty then," Granny Smith acknowledged. "Big Macintosh, could yah clean up this mess so them girls could have their little chat?" Big Mac once again nodded silently. Granny Smith eyed him with suspicion and stroked her chin. Big Mac sweated in response to the investigation. "You've been actin' kinda funny ever since the Turkey Callin' Contest," Granny Smith pointed out. "Could it be ya lost yer voice competin' with Pinkie Pie, and now yah can't perform with The Pony Tones, but if y'all didn't perform at the fundraiser it'd be a disaster, so you, Rarity n' Fluttershy got some Poison Joke, from that there Zecora a'course, and put it on Fluttershy so she'd become Flutterguy and impersonate yer parts in the song, but now yah can't talk or everypony'd find out yah lost yer voice and Fluttershy's embarrassin' secret would be revealed?" There was a good long minute of silence in the dining room. Gnawty Bits coughed. Big Mac's eyes darted around nervously before he shook his head. "That's... an oddly specific accusation, Granny," Applejack said plainly, as she shuffled Apple Fritter into another room against her will. "Come on, girl," she muttered to her cousin. "Mmm..." Granny Smith mumbled to herself as she headed to the kitchen, still eyeing Big Mac. Once Applejack had taken her cousin out of the room, she grabbed Apple Fritter's tail and dragged her up the stairs. "Hey! Ow! Oof!" Apple Fritter complained as her head bounced on the hard wood stairs. With each step, she let out one cry. "Whut were you thinkin'!?" Applejack shouted after she dragged Apple Fritter into her room and slammed the door. "How could you bring that thing back after I told you not to!?" "Ow... You really hurt me there, Applejack..." Apple Fritter whimpered as she rubbed her jaw. "Oh, shoot! Sorry, sugarcube. You alright?" Applejack asked with concern after realizing how rough she'd been. "Haha! I'm not really hurt! It was jus' a ploy to gain yer sympathy!" Apple Fritter announced like it was the best plan ever. She jumped up onto Applejack's bed and pointed down at her cousin defiantly. "Did it work?" "What- No! I still don't want that beaver-!" "Ugh. Well, FIIIINE! Guess I don't have a choice anymore!" Apple Fritter complained. "Will THIS change your mind!?" With that, she reached behind her back and dramatically pulled out a picture frame. (Where do cartoon ponies keep things, anyway? Do they have pockets? In their flesh?) "Um, what's that?" Applejack asked with confusion as she squinted to try make it out. "Hmm?" Apple Fritter looked down at the picture she was holding. It was beautifully framed photograph of Applejack's rear. It showed certain things. (Oh, so many things.) "Oh, wait! Whoops! This isn't what I was gonna show you. This is fer me. Fer later." Apple Fritter put the picture back and pulled out something else. "It was THIS!" "*GASP*!! NOT ALEJANDRO!!?" Applejack cried out. Apple Fritter held up a perfectly pristine apple encased in a magical diamond. "Not the most perfect apple I ever bucked! Twilight protected it with a spell so it couldn't rot for an eternity!" "Percisely!" Apple Fritter explained. She twirled the diamond around on her hoof. "I wonder whut would happen if I was to break this little barrier here and good 'ol Alejandro were to be smashed!?" "Don't you dare lay a hoof on him!" Applejack demanded, taking a step forward. "Oh, that's jus' the beginnin', sweetheart!" Apple Fritter explained like the super villain she had become. "I'm gonna make yer life a livin' hell 'til you accept Gnawty Bits!" "Never!" Applejack she leapt with great force onto the bed in an effort to charge Apple Fritter down! "HAHAHAHA!" Apple Fritter laughed maniacally as she tossed Alejandro past Applejack before they collided. The apple spun through through air for a moment before Gnawty Bits leapt up and caught it from the doorway. AJ, being the stronger pony, easily pinned Fritter down. She looked back for her prized apple and saw the beaver running out the door with it. "Consarn it! When did HE get in here!?" Applejack shouted. "Gnawty Bits is a GIRL!" Apple Fritter complained as she lay pinned under her cousin. She was wiggling her legs in a poor attempt to escape. "Don't care!" Applejack yelled back as she tried to leap off the bed after the rodent, but Apple Fritter caught her leg and tackled her to the ground. "Lemme go!" AJ shouted, trying to push Fritter off. "Never! RUN GNAWTY BITS, RUN!!!" Apple Fritter called out to her pet. "What in the hay has gotten into you!?" Applejack cried out as she struggled, accidently kicking Apple Fritter in the face. (Ow.) The force of the blow knocked Apple Fritter across the room and slammed her into a dresser. "Ouch! Applejack! Not so rough!" Apple Fritter huffed as she rubbed her sturdy earth pony head. "S&M nights are on Tuesdays only!" "Have you lost yer mind!?" Applejack retorted angrily. "Don't think yer ever gettin' bedded by me again after this!" "*GASP*!!!" Apple Fritter was dumbfounded that such an obvious threat had been used against her. "Does... Does that mean, no more cunnilingy!?" "Especially no more cunnilingy!" Applejack yelled as she galloped out the room after the sneaky beaver. "NOOOOOOOO!!!" Apple Fritter cried out as Applejack left. Applejack rushed down the stairs and looked around menacingly for Gnawty Bits. She ran into the dinning room, trampling over the presents she had gotten for Apple Fritter. She only found Big Mac cleaning the table. "Big Mac, that vile varmint of a critter come through here!?" Applejack asked her brother angrily. Big Mac jumped from the shock of his sister suddenly appearing and didn't have second to respond before Applejack interrupted. "Nevermind! Yer useless!" Applejack blurted out as she ran off, leaving Big Mac alone to be sad. She entered the kitchen and sighted Gnawty Bits dashing out the door into the yard. "Come back here!" she shouted, startling Applebloom who was on a stool nearby stirring some grub. Granny Smith didn't seem to be around. AJ galloped outside and leapt at the beaver, but Gnawty expertly skipped aside to avoid her. She crashed into the dirt as the beaver giggled and ran off into the shadows. "HEY, APPLEBLOOM!!!" Applejack heard Apple Fritter yell from the kitchen before she could get up. "WANNA HEAR WHUT ME AND YER SISTER HAVE BEEN DOIN' AT NIGHT!?" "Um... I guess?" Applebloom answered back in the kitchen, quite confused as her cousin Apple Fritter had just run in and yelled the question at her face. "Well!" Apple Fritter began. "It has sumthin' to do with birds and bees and beave--!!!" Apple Fritter couldn't finish, as Applejack rushed back into the kitchen and grabbed her face, covering her mouth and cutting off her ability to speak. "Nope! We're not talkin' bout that tonight!!!" Applejack interrupted. "Applebloom!" she shouted, turning to her sister. "Scootaloo jus' called! I think she jus' got her Cutie Mark!" "WHAT, NO WAY!?" Applebloom exclaimed in disbelief. "I GOTTA GO SEE!!!" She leapt off the stool and galloped out the front door of the house. (She's gonna be real disappointed.) Applejack toshed Apple Fritter to the floor returned outside to look around for Gnawty Bits, but it was dark and the rodent was nowhere to be found. "Alright, where's she goin' with Alejandro!?" Applejack asked intensely as she held Apple Fritter in a choke hold. "What's she gonna do to him!?" "Aaaaaahh... This is actually kinda erotic..." Apple Fritter moaned as she started to lose oxygen. Applejack released Apple Fritter from the choking, but then slammed her head, face first, into the floor with immeasurable strength, splintering the kitchen floorboards. (Pony Jesus! How violent!) "Okay. Ow. That one hurt," Apple Fritter muttered. "Answer me, Apple Fritter!" Applejack threatened. "Let's jus' say you shoulda been more careful the last time you SAW him! Hahahaha! *Cough*!!" Apple Fritter coughed up a piece of the floorboard. "Wait, why did I just give you a hint?" she asked herself aloud. "The barn! Of course!" Applejack realized. She left her cousin crushed into the floor and galloped to the barn as fast as she could. She bucked the doors wide open and exclaimed, "Stop right there, you varmint!" Gnawty Bits turned to Applejack as she held up a running chainsaw. She was wearing an adorable little yellow construction helmet and was poised to buzz Alejandro in two! (Seriously, what an astoundingly talented beaver.) "Woah, Nelly! " Applejack gasped in horror. "Let's not do anything hasty, now..." AJ began when she saw how dangerous the situation was. Gnawty Bits lowered the buzzing chainsaw blades slowly towards the encased apple. Frightened, AJ got on her knees and pleaded, "No! Stop! I'll do anythin'! Jus'... jus' don't hurt him! He's too perfect to die like this!" "Well, well, well..." Apple Fritter said with a grave tone as she came up behind Applejack who was now cowering on the barn floor. With a floorboard sticking out of her mane, she strolled past AJ, up to a barrel and bent over to snidely say to it, "How the mighty Applejack has fallen!" "I'm... over here," Applejack pointed out bluntly from behind her. "Huh?" Apple Fritter turned around, revealing her crossed eyes, and shook her head. "Sorry 'bout that! I'm a lil' dizzy from gettin' my head slammed into the floor! Haha!" She wobbled over to her cousin, shaking her hoof in front of her to try to make contact. She finally found Applejack and patted her face a few times as she made sure. "Oh, here you are! Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! I think you know whut it takes to save yer precious little Alejandro. All you have to do is say a few words." She leaned down to Applejack's face and said slowly, "I. Can keep. The Beaver." "You... You... can't do this...!" Applejack bottom lip pouted as she pounded the ground in frustration. She glanced at Gnawty Bits, who hovered the chainsaw in position for apple murder. She face-planted into in the dirt and hay. She clenched her hooves in disgust at what she was about to say. Grimacing, she muttered, "You can... keep the beaver..." Applejack's tension left her body and lay defeated on the floor. "Hooray!" Apple Fritter and Gnawty Bits jumped for excitement. Gnawty Bits tossed the chainsaw away and it crashed into Big Mac's favorite heirloom (but that's a story for a different day.) She waddled up to Applejack and laid Alejandro down before her. Apple Fritter held up one side of Applejack's droopy, mopey face and Gnawty Bits held up the other. "You won't regret this my dear sweet Applejack! We're all gonna get along great, you'll see!" Apple Fritter exclaimed. She went in and pecked a kiss on Applejack's cheek while Gnawty Bits simultaneously kissed the other cheek. "Come along, Gnawty! Let's help Granny Smith with dinner! I jus' love mashed taters!" Apple Fritter left with her beaver riding on her back, leaving Applejack to stew alone in the barn. Part 2: Concluded To be continued in Part 3