As I finished my yelling, the adrenalin flowing through me died down and I realised what I'd done. Jesus, I'd probably killed that pink lady. I stared at my fist awkwardly. My natural intellect came through and reminded me that I'd fucked up royally.
This is awkward. 'Sorry' will just not cut it. Alright; I'll try to be friendly. I waved a massive, gauntleted hand.
"Hello. Sorry about all that earlier, but you have to understand, I punched the ground and I WON." Somebody threw a rock at me. I caught it and crushed it to gravel in my meaty hands without really thinking as I continued. "I do apologise for punching the pink one through a building, but, well, she surprised me." No answer. I suppose that didn't really cut it.
"Again, I am so sorry. Hey, who wants to hear a joke?" Nobody moved. This was freaking me out a bit. "Why was six afraid of seven?" Why weren't they doing something?
"...because seven ate nine. That's one of the oldest jokes out there, people."
I looked out at my audience. "Tough crowd." This seemed to push a switch in their heads.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" I clapped my hands to my ears and tried to shut out the noise. "By the labours of Hercules, manliest of men, would you be quiet?" They only got louder as they ran around in terror. I sighed. Maybe I hadn't made the best first impression in the world, but at least it could be worse. I could have also become a pedophile by accident.
I moved through the screaming crowds, unconcerned with their rabbling. While I did feel sorry for the pink one, having just punched her through a wall, I was intent on finding out where the hell I was. Wherever I was, this wasn't some brony Equestria place, that was for sure. If this was some brony place, then they would have boasted about how big the boobs were here- seriously, this was like some sick teenage boy's porno, that he made when he first entered the furry fandom. I'm not a furry, but my friends are. That's the only reason why I was even able to identify that they were anthropomorphic horses in the first place. That, and the vaguely horse-like heads and the hooves, of course, but that's just details.
Suddenly, I just stopped, and I glared at the building in front of me.
"What." It made no sense, like everything else around here.
It was a tree. A fucking tree. I glared at it. How? Why? What? The questions flew through my mind at high speeds. There was a sign with a book overhead, proclaiming it to either be a library or a bookstore. Either way, I head over.
I punch the door in with a simple poink. Wow, I have got to stop doing that kind of stuff. The dull brown mare with grey hair doesn't seem to have noticed. I quietly cough. She looks up, then sees my impressive physique. I cough again.
"I need books on magic." She faints. I shrug, then get to stealing books. She probably won't need them. I grab one, then another. Then another...
Later, I walk out, carrying my entire bodyweight in books. The townsponies outside seem to have a mob. I grin.
"And just WHERE do you think you're goin', cowcolt?" I glare at the hick. She would be kind of nice, but her fur's too orange, even for the mad spray-tanners of my high school. Her green eyes are blazing with indignation, and her workboots and grimy blue overalls make her look like she actually has a job in the country. She's got a noticeably more toned figure than most of the ponies here. They're all soft and lumpy, but this mare... this one I respect more than the others. However, should she want my complete and utter respect, then she's going to need to go on a huge quest and prove her muscles. I decide, somehow, to be diplomatic one last time. After all, I am the one who fell from the sky and punched the ground, then punched the annoying pink one in her annoying face.
"If you don't mind, what happened today was an unfortunate accident. I do not wish to fight, but-" They freaking mobbed me. I retaliated with punching the ground, my hugeness creating a crater of concentrated muscular might. I then flee into the forest, putting my six months of intensive cardio work to good use.
When I was a safe distance away, I could now logically analyse my powers through intensive deduction. Alright... I entered my mind-palace. Let's see... I'm apparently a Muscle Wizard now. The populace has turned against me due to the Pink One (God I still hate her, even after I almost killed her,) and I now seem to have superhuman strength. I glance at my gauntlets. Could they be the source of my Muscle Wizardry, or were they only a channel for the power that was inside my muscular, magical might? Whatever the case, now was the time for research.
My trudging through the forest has resulted in nothing. I can't even find a suitable home. A gigantic manticore, of all things, tries to attack me, and I have to drop my books to avoid its stinger tail. Angry, I grip its mane and headbutt it into Oblivion. Then, I continue on my way. Eventually, I see something that makes me just plain stop and stare. It's so perfect!
An old, derelict castle. Give me a bit of time to renovate, and it'll be good as new! I scamper onwards, books back in hand. Now that I look at it, I can see that it is a real fixer-upper. I grinned. Time to see what spells I had.
After much perusal of my mind-palace, I determined that I had three spells- Magic Fist, Summon Weight, and Flex. I flexed, and was rewarded with a feeling of arcane power flowing through my nipples. So my power was generated through my muscles, and directed by my mind. Time for some intensive level grinding and spell research. I pulled out the first of my magic books, How to do magic for Dummies, and settled down to read. But first, I decided to do some exercises. I used my third spell, gripping a twig.
"Summon Weight." My twig shimmered, then turned into an extremely heavy dumbbell. I now settled back, doing some bicep curls while reading. I remember a saying: Given enough time, any man can become master of his own body. With enough knowledge, any man can become wise. It is a true warrior who can master both. Command and Conquer: Red Alert was a great game.