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// Chapter 8 So How Exactly Does That Work? 
// Story: Boomer's Crisis 
// by WEKM 
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Chapter 8 So How Exactly Does That Work?
Boomer awoke the next morning, amazingly having slept the entire night, with Pinkie Pie on one side of him, sharing his blanket, and Giggles' ghost at his other. He looked into her bright alert eyes, then looked over at Pinkie Pie, softly snoring. Looking back to his sister, he asked, "I'm kind of fuzzy on the whole ghost thing, mind if I ask you a few questions?"
With a smile and a wave of a hoof, she indicated for him to proceed.
He paused, unsure just where to begin. "Okay, I guess first off, it's been more than two days, and, well, I don't think I've seen you sleep, not even a nap. Do ghosts not need to?"
She smiled even wider, "I can't speak for most ghosts. I don't even know any others. But I think I may well be a special case. All my answers will be tainted by that. So, let's just understand that this is all going to be about just me. How it relates to any other ghost, I have no idea. 
"Sleep, no, I don't. At least, not like you do. I don't have a flesh and blood body anymore that tires and needs to rest. However, there are times when I am not concentrating on something, or you are not paying direct attention to me where time seems to jump. Like I blink, and hours just disappear. It’s rather disconcerting, so I try and keep myself busy as much as I can. If you are awake, I just listen to the noise in your head. If you are asleep, I wander around. I don’t really like listening in on your recurring dreams. Watching myself die is just disturbing. But it is nice to feel how much you cared, and how hard it hit you. And I’m sorry I put you through that. I guess the only good thing we can say, is it made possible your defeat of the nightmare realm not just then, but now as well.”
Boomer tried to not squirm about the fact that she was in his head all day long. "I guess I should be glad that Pinkie is seeing you now. For a while, I was worried that you were only in my head. I feared that even if you were really you, you only existed up here." And he tapped the side of his head with one hoof. Then, he grimaced in pain. The bruises on that part of his head felt even more tender this morning.
Giggles laughed at him. "I swear brother mine, you can be rather forgetful. Do I need to give you a run down every morning about the state of your own body?" When he just grunted and looked away, she continued, "You're not young and indestructible any more. Really, none of us ever were. But you men tend to cling to that idea longer. That is one thing getting killed really brings home for you, just how fragile our lives are, and how precious every day is. You've been stuck in a holding pattern since my death, and have let a lot of opportunities pass you by. Fortunately, I'm here to help you reclaim some of those."
Boomer scoffed, "Like kids and a family? I told you the other night, it's too late for me."
"You're not that old. There are plenty of ponies your age who are available. What about mayor Mare? I know you think she's attractive."
"Get out of my head! I'm not discussing whom I find attractive with my kid sister's ghost"
"You know, you're right. Physical attractiveness isn't everything. Shared background is important as well. You need somepony who knows what it's like to have made some choices they aren't proud of, that knows about isolation and feeling different from others. Princess Luna isn't seeing anypony right now, is she?"
"Have you lost your ever loving mind? I can NOT ask one of the princesses out on a date! It simply isn't done."
"Of course, of course, you need somepony with a lot of life in her, with friends a plenty, to help get you back into the social scene." And at that, Giggles looked over at Pinkie Pie's slumbering form.
Boomer placed himself squarely between Giggles and Pinkie. His horn stump was already glowing red. "You just leave this young girl out of any sort of plans you have regarding me and any sort of relationship beyond plain old friendship."
Giggles smiled. "Good. There are some who would take advantage of a young pony that was enamoured of them, and vulnerable. I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't give in to that temptation."
Boomer's look of grim determination turned to one of disgust. "For somepony who claims to know what is going on in my head, you sure aren't paying attention. I would NEVER do something like that."
Nodding her head, she continued, "Let's just say I wanted You to know you wouldn't give in. There are dark parts of your mind, just as there are in everyone's. You tend to worry over much that you'll give in to those dark urges. I think that's the biggest reason you keep yourself so separate from everypony else. Guilt and sorrow, they can be pretty powerful negative motivators. 
"You tend to overlook the motivations you do act on. When you could have walked away from this mission, despite knowing or fearing Pinkie Pie might not survive, you stepped up. When the nightmare beings emerged from the woods, you went back for her, despite knowing how dangerous they were. When she was about to be killed, you forced your power beyond anything you'd ever done before. And you had the courage to open up to her, exposing your weakness, while offering her the support she needed. You could have easily ignored her the rest of the trip back, but you were willing to shift your view of her enough to begin to shift your view of yourself. THAT takes real courage."
Boomer scoffed. "Maybe so, but in the cell, I deliberately endangered her when I blew up that rag. And when I blasted the rift, I did it not thinking of her safety at all. Both times, I could have killed her."
"That's another thing you keep discounting. You have a deep understanding and belief in your magic. You knew in your heart that she would be safe. You let what happened to me color how you interact with everyone. Even when Pinkie Pie told you her father says you're a hero, your guilt over what happened, led you to present your actions as if YOU were the villain. What happened to me and all the others there wasn't your fault. In fact, if not for you, how many others would have fallen victim to the Nightmare Realm?"
Boomer finally broke. He bellowed, "That's the whole point! If I had managed to blast the gate in the first place, none of you would have been killed! You're dead because I failed! And don't try and say I did it in the end. That just shows that I should have been able to do it in the first place."
They were both startled by Pinkie Pie's voice behind him. "That doesn't make any sense at all."
They both turned to face her as she continued, "Your magic is fueled by your emotions, isn't it?" He nodded and Pinkie continued, "Then you couldn't have done it before your sister was killed." Boomer was even more confused, but Giggles was smiling. Obviously proud that the young pony had figured it out. So, Pinkie Pie finished, "Until she was killed, you never had access to the kind of violent emotion. Before, you could only channel the intensity of what you'd felt up to that point. You never experienced that much pain, sorrow or rage before. That also explains why this time was even more so. Twenty years of guilt packs a heck of a whollop. Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't blow a hole in the world."
Giggles laughed. "Technically, he blew up a hole INTO the world."