Well, patch 8.11 is turning out pretty nicely so far. The new map is cool; the weather effects look awesome, especially Burning Ruinsberg. I haven’t played the new mode yet though.
…Wargaming is officially trolling us.
“The Moon?” We get to fight on the moon? That is actually pretty awesome, but wouldn’t the crew die from not having any oxygen? And space travel was invented after the tanks we are using became museum pieces… Also, why wasn’t this in the patch notes? It’s the pony city map all over again! Also, why is this encounter, and not standard mode? Aren’t new maps supposed to be standard mode until they are popular enough to have encounter and assault added?
Then again, why do I care? As long as I get to tip over the American flag in a Russian tank, everything is going to be fine…
Actually, this map will probably not have much cover. Hopefully there won’t be any artillery in this match.
Why does the moon have a unicorn face on it? And…
*sigh*
What do they expect me and my little t 44 to do against all these tier IXs and Xs? Then again, I LOVE being cannon fodder (not).
And this is totally unfair! They get six tier Xs, while we only get four! And they also get the unholy trinity: AMX 50 Foch (155), FV215b (183), and… oh no. Waffenträger auf E 100! ON A MAP WITH BARELY ANY COVER! This is going to be such a curb stomp… At least there isn’t any arty. That is somewhat of a relief…
This map is very bland. Just a white surface, with tons of craters and rock outcroppings everywhere. At least that qualifies as cover. And the flag is in the center. Excellent map design WG! A map with barely any cover and a flag right in the center! Oh well, better exploit this while it lasts: go to one of the sides , and snipe the lemmings as they come for the flag with HE rounds. Then again, that is probably what everyone else is thinking, so each team will end up taking over a side and we will end up camping and occasionally sniping the extremely bored guy as he crosses no tanks’ land. Trench Warfare FTW! This sounds like one of my little nightmares about WOT: Province on Tier X! Although the stars look very pretty from here.
Is it just me, or is there something blue near the flag on the minimap? Must be some sort of graphics glitch…
Ok, 2/3ds of the team are going to the right side of the map in a lemming train. And some idiot in an AMX 13 90 is going to cap the base already… Might as well go left and see if I can light up some targets for our “snipers” to shoot at. Seems like our T 54 has the same idea. At least I have some protection from Tier IXs now.
“Guys there’s a winged unicorn thing standing on the cap point!” the AMX 13 90 types into the chat.
He’s at the cap already?
….
Wait, ‘Winged unicorn thing?’
OH SHIT! IT’S ONE OF THOSE RIDICULOUSLY OP HORSES!
“PURGE IT WITH FIRE!” I type into the chat.
“Why”
“JUST DO IT BEFORE THAT THING ONE-SHOTS YOU!”
***
I am so bored. I can’t even remember how long I was on this rock. Not even my plans for revenge are very interesting now. If only something interesting happened, like those giant metal boxes that randomly appeared some years ago (or was it decades?) and then vanished. It was strange, but at least it broke the monotony for a few minutes.
Wait, what is that flag doing there? I’m sure it wasn’t there before…
It’s white. Just like everything else here. I wonder what that symbol on it means…
Also, what is that white strip doing behind that flag? Might as well examine it.
It’s floating! And my hoof passes through it. And I can’t find any traces of magic on it! Very strange. At least trying to figure out what is going on gives me something to do…
What’s that rumbling noise behind me? After a few seconds, some… thing appears from behind a rock cropping. It looks like those metal boxes that appeared several days? months? years? decades? ago. It’s so hard to keep track of time.
Now it’s just sitting there… watching? Might as well examine it up close before it disappears.
What was that sound? Did the ground in front of me just explode? Why is their smoke coming out of that thing?... IT JUST ATTACKED ME! HOW DARE IT!
“YOU DARE!”
Another explosion occurs right in front of me. That’s it! A good blast of magic should put that thing in its place.
***
“YOU DARE!”
Wait, this thing received voice acting? And how does sound travel through a vacuum? Eh, who cares? A shell to the face should take care of this annoyance. Seriously, what is that T 44 so scared of?
Damn it, RNGsus! Two misses in a row! Then again, this thing is smaller than most tier 1 tanks…
And now its flying up into the air and charging something on its horn. That’s my cue to go…
It seems to know that you should aim for the tracks on a light tank. How much did WG invest into its AI? That laser thing looks pretty powerful though… Might as well try to kill it before it finishes charging another shot.
A force field? Not fair! At least I put some cracks into it. That are starting to disappear. Next shell loaded. Fire! Now the force field looks like it’s about to go down. And the force field is down! Now to finish this thing off!
RNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, hitting a small airborne target 3 times in a row was actually a good record. But now I have to wait 15 seconds for this thing to reload and…
No I don’t. That thing just destroyed my ammo rack. *Sigh.* There go several thousand credits…
***
NightmareMoon (Alicorn) destroyed sunpawz(AMX 13 90)
NightmareMoon? I don’t see that kind of player on the other team…
ALICORN IS NOT A TANK!
What the heck is going on around here?
Oh, hey I can see the flag at this angle.
Yep. WG put another one of those unicorn-pegasus things on this map. How is it breathing on the lunar surface anyway? Whatever. Video game logic. That’s actually a pretty cool mane, with the stars and all. Wait! It’s distracted! I can snipe it off!
I have you in shrinking circle, whatever you are. And, goodbye!
Damn it! What were the chances of it moving just as I fired? Uh oh, it’s heading this way!
HailFire709(FV215b 183) destroyed Kvak (T-54)
Another tank lost on our team… Wait, wasn’t that the guy who was with me?
‘FV215b 183.’ Oh shh…
Maybe it sniped him?
Nope, it’s coming toward me. I’m going to die... Hopefully my team will snipe him as he crosses that opening between the rocks.
…Who shot that laser beam? Oh yeah, the horse thing. 500 damage? Maybe it’s not that OP…
Can destroy cover, and takes 5 seconds to reload? Retract previous statement.
Let’s see, if I kill it now, then I’ll have to deal with the TD, but if I wait, then the thing will come for me… Then again, the 183 has a looooooong reload time… Well it’s settled! Goodbye op freak!
Oh yeah the force field… I forgot. And now it’s focusing on me.
Something tells me that buying the “wet ammo rack” upgrade just saved me from getting one shotted. But now my aiming time has doubled. Well, looks like its charging up another shot. Might as well try to dod…
That was awesome! The way the forcefield shattered, and how the thing was sent FLYING towards that planet over there! And now while the 183 reloads, I can flank it and finish it off. Here I go!
It’s noticed me, but its rotation is too slow to follow me. Maybe that thing damaged its engine. Thank you very much, OP WG trolling device.
Now I have its side armor. And… penetration! This is turning out great! I’m pretty sure that it will still be reloading in the 16 seconds that it takes for me to reload, and then it is dead!
What was that? What just took out 700 of my health?
nineshotwondar(WT E100) destroyed Ownageman(T 44)
Well, that explains it.
So the score is 5<10?
*Sigh* The entire team goes one way and gets slaughtered. Typical.
Well, another several thousand lost. I think I’ll play with my T-34 to make up for it…
I never did get to tip over the U.S. flag though…