Dear Mom & Dad,
I am fine, I miss you, but I’ve been on the greatest adventure. It all started about 3 years ago or as the locals say “30 moons”. I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch, but there really wasn’t any way to contract you before. It all started when I was at the new school and examining that horse statue out front one day after school. That’s when I found the doorway.
I’m sorry Dad, I know how much you like science fiction, but the doorway is just that. I had no reason to believe it would remain open so I just went through.
And suddenly, I was some place very strange. I was very strange, I had been transformed into some type of horse, and Dad, you are going to love this; I had a horn growing out of my forehead.
And I can do magic with it! Magic is sort of like when you’re dreaming (and you know that you are dreaming) and moving stuff with your hands. Well it is sort of like that. I had to learn to think outside my head to do it. The unicorn’s horn acts as a focal point.
That’s the best explanation I have, but the really wild thing is that everyone, no I mean every pony here uses magic. They just don’t seem to notice it. Can you imagine me using my two front hooves to eat with a fork and knife or button my shirt, unless there was some type of magic at play? All the people, I mean ponies, here do it, and it took me a while and a lot of practice to do it myself.
In fact, I’m writing this letter using my hoof and not magic as some unicorns become so dependent on. But the really amazing part is not that there are dragons, and manticores here, but I got a job, more than a job; a career. I work for the E&E (eyes & ears) of Equestria (also referred to as the ‘3Es’). Yes, Dad, I’m a secret agent. Specifically assign to be watchful for others who cross over into this dimension. After all, I have the most experience with that.
Dad, I know how you enjoyed the X-files, so I guess I’m kind of like that Fox Mulder guy. I get to go around Equestria investigating all the bizarre happenings, and in this world of magic, some things are really bizarre.
I’m writing this letter now, because I learned that the doorway between our worlds will reopen soon and I know you are going to have a lot of questions so I thought that the first thing I would do after I come through the doorway would be to post a letter.
You see, I love you both, Mom and Dad, but I got a life here and I like it. I don’t want to come home. I don’t want you to try to keep me from coming back here. I want to stay here and learn more magic, have more exciting adventures, and make more friends.
Now let me answer a question you might be asking. No, there isn’t a special boy/colt here or anything. There was, but we broke up. His name was Flash Sentry, he works with the royal guard, and we had to work together on special assignment in the Crystal Empire (it is actually part of Equestria).
To answer your next question, after I had completed my assignment with Mr. Yew (he is one of the 4 stars – they run the E&E) in Manehatten, I got the job of watching for the return of “It”. Let me explain, ‘it’ is the Crystal Empire, and it was magically sealed away. The E&E had the duty of watching for its return. They had discovered that there was magic associated with the name ‘Crystal Empire’, and that with use would deteriorate the memory of those who did use it, so every pony was instructed to refer to ‘it’ as ‘it’. But I know this has nothing to do with Flash Sentry, so yeah, Mom, I still like him. However, rumor has it that one of the Princesses (they run everything, including the sun and moon) has intentions to ‘use’ him. Poor fellow, there is something of a role reversal here for the colts and mares.
Oh, about the Princesses, when I first arrived here, there was only one. Princess Celestia; she is really smart and wise (and really old). Well, after I was released from jail (yeah Dad, the first thing that happened to me was I got arrested by the palace guard). And no Mom, it is not part of my permanent record. It seems the charges were dropped, some type of mistaken identity. So once, I had explained myself to the local constables, I was introduced to Professor Sump, Captain Shining Armor, and Lt. O’Neigh. The captain wanted to send me back, but Prof Sump explained that the doorway only opens once every 30 moons. It was Lt. O’Neigh (he doesn’t always sound Irish – only when he gets excited or mad) who realized that I had a unique perspective on inter-dimensional travel and would be better able to spot others.
My next assignment was very boring, but that’s part of the duty of an E&E agent; watching the moon on the night before the longest day. Wow, I didn’t know how pervasive magic was here until then. It is everywhere. Nightmare Moon had spent 1000 years trapped inside the moon, and the moon reflected that. That is when the four stars converged upon the moon and released her. I didn’t understand why the E&E was releasing Nightmare Moon, but it turned out great. Nightmare Moon was freed to terrorize us with the threat of eternal night, then defeated, and unmasked to restore Princess Luna; the sister of Princess of Celestia. Now we had 2 princesses to govern.
It was kind of funny or strange, the E&E didn’t seem very happy about what had happened. However, they gave me the job of briefing Princess Luna on their activities and duties. She was glad to hear that her sister had such good and generous shadowy assistants.
Princess Luna was a bit imposing, but I adjusted well to her use of the ancient language and REALLY LOUD VOCABULLARY. She sounded like she was stuck in a Shakespearian play, feeling guilty for all the trouble she had caused, and sorry for herself about all the time she had lost. That was when I learned she hadn’t lost the time; she had really lost the time to be with her sister, and only now understood how important that could be. Dear Mom and Dad, I want to thank you for the time you spent with me, especially for all the time you invested in me. I don’t know how to truly thank you; I only hope I can make you happy about what I am doing here. I am doing my best, but sometimes I make a mistake.
The biggest mistake was an incident involving the 3rd Princess. I started asking myself why Captain Shining Armor had been so eager to send me back to my world. I reasoned that he was afraid of his feelings for me.
When I confronted him about it, some other Pegasus got in the way. Seems she also wanted to ‘confess’ her affection for him, and well things didn’t go my way.
I can’t really say that is how she became a Princess, but that is what she did. So as a result of my interruption, Princess Mia Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor are getting married. And to add insult to my injury, the E&E have directed me to try to postpone the wedding. So as the wedding was going to happen in Canterlot, I made up some type of threat that I shared with Shining Armor. He was unhappy about the vagueness of the threat, so I asked the E&E what to do about that. They told me to quit the assignment and that they would send a special agent to deal with it.
I don’t think any pony was very happy about the results, apparently their special agent tried to attempt a coup d’état. Plus, what seemed to put them in a very bad mood, none of the four stars could get there for the wedding. Still it all seems to work out I just have to keep reminding my bosses that this wonderful place is full of possibilities.
We also recruited some others to join the E&E. My first new recruit was a griffon. Yes Mom, a griffon, part eagle, part lion, and all attitudes. She was a bit annoying with her constant reference to every pony being a ‘dude’. I came to realize she was just trying to over compensate for her insecurities. I settled this when I told her (in my best mobster voice) “Once you’re in the E&E, we will never let you go”. She was scared, but she was also happy to feel like she was part of something special. That is kind of how I feel; I am part of something special here.
One of the ‘old timers’ in the E&E just retired. I helped him out in Baltimare (sic) on one of his assignments. He was kind of gruff, a no nonsense kind of donkey (as in Cranky D. Donkey), like the type of detective in Mom’s mystery books. Hi Mom, it is no secret to anyone or any pony that you have a crush on Humphrey Bogart. How often did you make me watch The Maltese Falcon or Dead Reckoning? And do I even need to mention the Casablanca film festivals?
Our newest recruit got kicked out of the Wonderbolts Academy (our premiere aerobatic flying pegasus group) for being too “reckless”. She is as good at flying as I hope to be at magic. I call her ‘Dusty’, but her name is Lightning Dust. It may take me awhile to get her broken in to the duties of being an agent in the E&E, but I’m hopeful. I like her, and she makes a good foil for all of (Gilda) the griffon’s comments about lameness.
I have told you all their names so if you get really careless, and want to check up on me by visiting Equestria you will know who to contact in order to find me. My assignments take me all over the place so I can’t predict where I will be if you come here. Like I could pretend not to know that both of you might come here. In addition, to my immediate bosses (Professor Sump [white unicorn at the magic academy in Canterlot], Lt O’Neigh [red night-wing pegasus in Canterlot] with the royal guard, and Mr. Yew [black pegasus] banker of some type in Manehatten) there is the shadowy Uncle Knot [“pale” or brown earth pony] (I haven’t met him and don’t know where to find him).
Sincerely, your loving daughter, Sunset Shimmer