A Canterlot Farce

by River Road


A Canterlot Farce (Part 2)

This book is a collection of facts about changelings, everything we changelings know or believe to know about our kind, from biology to history. Before I start, however, I need you to be aware of one thing, a simple statement that might in fact summarize this whole book in one sentence.
Changelings are not monsters.
This is the root of all the troubles of the past days, a thousand years of paranoia on your side and a thousand years of forced solitude on ours. It is the result of a curse that even today nopony completely understands, followed by fear and unfortunate misconception.
To give a short explanation, the reason why changelings exist is a disease known as ‘Black Plague’. It infected ponies a thousand years ago, in what we believe to be the time between the defeat of Discord and the rise of Nightmare Moon. What we know is that nopony knew where it came from, how it spread and why ponies were or weren’t infected. In the span of only a few years, ponies turned into bug-like creatures with the ability to feed on emotions, and as quickly as it spread the disease disappeared again. To this day nopony knows anything about the disease except for the results it had, and a similar disease has never again been heard of.
The real problem of the changelings stems from the time after the ponies’ transformation. Ponies were wary of the new race, but not quite as afraid as the changelings themselves. They were called ‘monsters’ by some, and soon enough the changelings began to believe these claims. All they knew was that they were giant bugs that could take the form of any pony and fed on the love of others. So they left their homes and went to exile, one by one, to form a new family in the cave systems of the badlands. By the time they had found out more about themselves, the image of changelings as deceptive monsters draining other ponies of emotions had already been established in the minds of the ponies.
Nowadays, we changelings know that we are no monsters. We don’t drain ponies of their love, we pick up on the emotion radiating from them. It is not even completely necessary as source of nourishment, but rather something that helps us digest normal food or gives us an additional power boost if there is excess love to pick up. A changeling can live without absorbing love, it just isn’t a very good life. There is no need to impersonate other ponies, either, as a changeling earns the form of what is most likely what they would have been as a pony at the same moment they earn their cutie mark.
If you are reading this book, chances are that the changelings in Canterlot have been revealed and you know that I, too, am a changeling. If you didn’t know this, then I am hereby shedding my disguise and hope that ponies can accept me and my kin for what we are. I hope for both of our sakes that this will not have to be the last book I publish.
– Noteworthy Fact


~~~~~


“Where am I?”

Through the enchanted mirror, Crystal Love watched the purple unicorn who frantically looked around the cave. She had retreated to her chambers after assuring Shining Armor that she was feeling better again. Now she cast a spell, creating illusions of herself on the fractured parts of one of the crystal walls surrounding Twilight. “The caves beneath Canterlot, once home to greedy unicorns who wanted to claim the gems that could be found inside.” She let the illusion move behind Twilight as the unicorn tried to back away. “And now, your prison.”

“Help! Help!” Twilight tried to run away, giving Crystal a perfect opportunity to show of her evil laugh. She was quite proud of it.

“It's no use. No one can hear you. And no one will ever think to look for you, either.” She moved the illusion across the cave’s walls, staying at one point only for a few seconds. “Most ponies have forgotten that these caves even exist, which is why they are the ideal place to keep the ones who try to interfere with my plans.”

She fell back into a slightly maniacal laugh while Twilight looked up at the illusion. “Plans? What plans?”

“The plans I have for your brother, of course,” Crystal played her trump card.

“Don't you dare do anything to my brother, you... you monster!” Just as expected, Twilight went from fear and hesitation to justified rage in less than a second. Her horn lit up with bright magic, aimed at the wall Crystal was casting her illusion on.

“Only way to stop me is to catch me!” Crystal taunted, disappearing for a moment to let her face reappear on another crystal. “Over here!” Twilight immediately attacked, but the magic simply bounced off the shiny surface and ricocheted through the cave a few times before hitting the ground not far from the cowering unicorn.

“Nope, over here!” Crystal showed up under Twilight's hooves for a second before reappearing on the wall behind her, then on another single crystal. Twilight shot more beams of magic, smashing the crystal and two more in quick succession. Crystal cast a last illusion of her cackling self on another wall, and Twilight’s magic smashed right through without thinking.

Crystal watched with a smile as Twilight galloped over into the new room, angrily jumping at the figure inside. She was going to cast another illusion to confirm the real Cadence’s identity, but it seemed that the Princess herself was quick enough to convince Twilight of her. Turning away from the mirror, she cast one last spell to guide the two ponies towards the end of the cave.

“You think they’ll be here soon enough?” A brown earth pony with dark blue mane was standing right behind her, watching the mirror.

“We can only hope, Works… Just to be sure, maybe somepony should show them where the exit is. Assign three ponies to take the forms of the three former bridesmaids. I’m sure they can figure out some plausible story to help them out.” She hoofed the mirror over to the other changeling. “Take this with you. It’s too valuable to just be destroyed, and we can’t keep any evidence here.”

'Works' nodded and took the mirror to store it in his saddlebags. “I just hope that everything works as well as that mirror… commissioning so many difficult enchantments from some small-town unicorn.”

“Don’t worry, brother. That unicorn seemed quite capable in her job, and you know I have a bit of an eye for these things… It runs in the family. Besides, she could use the money I paid for those things.” Crystal smiled. “To imagine, the only unicorn in a family of earth ponies… But there’s no time for that. I have to prepare for the wedding and you need to prepare for the invasion.”

“Indeed.” Crystal’s brother turned around and walked over to the balcony, transforming into a pegasus halfway through. He gave one last glance back at the mare, then took off.

Crystal looked after him for a moment before her smile faltered. It might be the last she would see of him in a long while. She turned her head to look around the room with sad eyes, lighting her magic and casting a spell to soundproof the room. Singing always helped ponies to express and cope with their emotions. She took a deep breath and relaxed.

This day will need to go perfectly
I made the plan and I have checked everything twice
Everypony will gather ‘round
To look at Cadence in her gown
I just hope somepony sees through my disguise

I won’t stay long inside this gown
I won’t partake in any cake
Vows, I hope I won’t have to say
I know that through any weather
They are meant to be together
The truth is I wish them the best of luck

No, I do not love the groom
And in his heart is only room
for Cadenze… Shining Armor,
she’ll be back very soon

Already the moment has arrived
Does nopony suspect I’m not their bride?
It is time to play the foe
To put on my greatest show
For the last day of The Hive


~~~~~


“Princess Cadence and Shining Armor, it is my great pleasure to pronounce you–“

“Stop!”

Cadence let out a small sigh of relief as everypony else turned towards the unicorn mare standing in the doorway of the large double doors. Just a few seconds more and she would have had to set the emergency plan in motion. Shining Armor was distracted as well, and she used that chance to hit him with the spell she had prepared.

“Ugh, why does she have to be so possessive of her brother?” Crystal said as the ponies began to turn back to her, acting a last feeble attempt to stay in her role. “Why does she have to ruin my special day?!”

“Because it’s not your special day! It’s mine!” Crystal would have jumped for joy, hearing that voice. Princess Cadence looked a little ragged, but she seemed full of spirit.

“What? But how did you escape from that cave?!”

Twilight and Cadence looked at each other and smirked. “Sending your brainwashed bridesmaids after us to finish us of might have seemed like a good plan,” Cadence begun. “But next time you should choose somepony who doesn’t let themselves get distracted by a simple bouquet of flowers.”

Crystal smiled inwardly. ‘Brainwashed bridesmaids’... It seemed that her cousin had taken the lead of that group himself. He could be quite inventive that way.

“…And by going the way they came from you accidentally showed us where the exit was.” Twilight continued.

“Hmpf. Clever…” Crystal huffed, then grinned. “But you’re still too late.”

“I-I don’t understand.” Applejack looked between the two pink alicorns in confusion. “How can there be two of ‘em?”

“She's a changeling,” the real Cadence answered. “She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding off your love for them.”

Crystal snarled. There they went again. Not ten seconds uncovered and this pony was already starting into the old tales and rumors about changelings. Yes, what she had done didn’t help any of that, but hearing these things just made her furious beyond reason.

Her horn lit up with magic, and bright green flames erupted from the ground around her. So they wanted a monster, did they? Well, she was the prime actress in the Royal Canterlot Theater, and one of the best illusionists in all of Equestria. She would give them their monster.

What was only a simple transformation for her looked far more impressive to the ponies around her, due to the illusion. Her thin, but strong bug wings appeared hole-filled and ragged, just like her normally smooth legs and horn; her chitin was deep black, showing nothing of its shimmer and the subtle green hint in it, and two fangs were growing in her mouth; overall she seemed noticeably taller than she would have been without the illusion.

She let out an evil chuckle, her voice distorted through the spell. “Right you are, Princess. And as queen of the changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects.” She began to step down the stairs, walking towards Cadence. “Equestria has more love than any place I've ever encountered. My fellow changelings will be able to devour so much of it that we will gain more power than we have ever dreamed of!”

“They'll never get the chance!” Cadence shot back. “Shining Armor's protection spell will keep them from ever even reaching us!”

Crystal let out another evil chuckle – she was really starting to get into this. “Oh, I doubt that.“ She turned around to Shining Armor and lit her horn. “Isn't that right, dear?”

The Captain of the Royal Guard nodded, staring blankly ahead with green glowing eyes. In reality, he was merely sleeping with open eyes, thank to her spell combined with a small illusion to make his eyes glow and another illusion that had made it look like he nodded his head slightly, but for her plan he didn’t have to do anything else except stand there and stay out of the way.

Cadence started to run towards him, but Crystal blocked her way, lighting her magic threateningly. “Ah, ah, ah. Don't want to go back to the caves, now do you?” She smirked as Cadence backed away, cowering a little. Then she turned around and jumped over to Shining Armor. “Ever since I took your place, I've been feeding off Shining Armor's love for you. Every moment he grows weaker and so does his spell. Even now, my minions are chipping away at it.”

She looked up at the ceiling. By now her brother should have activated the crystal enchanted with her illusion, causing a swarm of changelings to appear around the magic barrier and trying to force their way in. It wouldn’t take long until the spell faltered on its own, without the Captain of the Guard to keep it up. Soon they would be able to move to the next phase of their plan.

She laughed again, lifting Shining Armor’s chin with a hoof. “He may not be my husband, but he is under my total control now.” Twilight and Cadence gasped in shock, something she took as a compliment to her acting. “…And I'm sorry to say, unable to perform his duties as captain of the Royal Guard.”

“Not my Shining Armor!” Cadence cried out.

“Soon, my changeling army will break through. First, we take Canterlot.” She jumped into the air, flapping her wings and striking a triumphant pose. “And then, all of Equestria!”

“No. You won't,” Princess Celestia said, steel in her voice. Crystal floated back down, turning around to face her.

“You may have made it impossible for Shining Armor to perform his spell, but now that you have so foolishly revealed your true self, I can protect my subjects from you!” The Princess flew up into the air and her horn lit with magic almost as bright as the sun. A solid beam of magic shot out from it, heading straight for Crystal.

Crystal immediately countered with her own magic, barely managing to keep the Princess’ attack at bay for a few seconds. She couldn’t get defeated yet, Shining Armor’s barrier hadn’t even collapsed yet. Desperate, she tapped into the pool of love she had stored over the past days… maybe she could buy a little more time somehow.

The power washed right through her, everything her family had given her for this day along with what she had picked up from Shining Armor, Twilight, her friends and all the other ponies who adored Princess Cadence. Her magic beam brightened, faster than she could react, and within seconds Celestia’s attacked was pushed all the way back. The Princess gasped as Crystal’s counterattack connected with her horn, sending the alicorn back to the ground. The Princess slid over the marble floor for a few feet, lying on her side with a black scorch mark on her horn where the magic had hit her.

“Princess Celestia!” Twilight and her friends immediately rushed to the Princess’ side, while the rest of the wedding guests gasped in shock.

“Ah! Shining Armor's love for you is even stronger than I thought!” Crystal boasted, rising into the air again. “Consuming it has made me even more powerful than Celestia!”

Celestia slowly raised her head to look at the six mares standing around her. “The Elements of Harmony. You must get to them and use their power to defeat the queen.”

The mares nodded, throwing off their dressed and galloping towards the door. Only the white unicorn stayed behind for a moment to try and save their dresses, but followed immediately when her friends called her.

Crystal flew after them to the door, laughing and calling after them, “You can run, but you can’t hide!”


~~~~~


“It’s almost down…” Fair Labor – or ‘Works’, as ponies usually called him – looked away from the magic barrier surrounding the town towards the palace. A group of six mares was galloping out, towards the part of town they were in. He turned around to face the large group of ponies standing behind him. “The Element-bearers are on the move. They’re the greatest risk in this, so we need to help Clean Cut keep them away from the Elements of Harmony. You all know the plan; try not to hurt them, we only want to get them back to the palace.”

The ponies nodded and turned around, jumping off the roof of the warehouse they were standing on. One by one they burst into green flames and turned into hole-filled images of changelings, buzzing their wings to fly through the empty alley towards the hall were the Elements of Harmony were being kept.

Works looked back up as the first explosions sounded. The purple barrier that had encased the city for over a week was gone now, and swarms of illusionary changelings buzzed around in the sky above Canterlot. He could make out one of the few real ones hovering in place between them, one from the small group of the most magically adept ones in their family. Whenever he fired one of his magic shots, the illusion spell made it look like it was actually another changeling hurling itself down at the town in some sort of kamikaze attack. Right now the attack was focused at the small group of mares running down Main Street. One of the real changelings even joined in, smashing into the ground right in front of the Element of Magic to hiss at her.


~~~~~


“Here they come…” One of the changelings at the front muttered as the six mares galloped up the stairs, only to stop when they saw the group of changelings waiting for them. The changelings put on evil and slightly cocky grins, chuckling at the group of ponies.

“Looks like we’re gonna have to do this the hard way.” One of the mares, the sky-blue pegasus, clapped her hooves together angrily and charged forward, stopping when she was suddenly faced with an exact copy of her who looked back at her with the same surprised look she was showing. They curiously inspected each other for a moment, before the doppelganger lifted a hoof and rudely knocked her back.

“How did you–?” Rainbow Dash was cut off when more changelings transformed to look like her, along with other changelings turning into copies of her five friends.

“They’re changelings, remember?” Twilight explained. Half a dozen Twilights repeated her words with the exact same voice, smirking at the original. Twilight crouched down to an aggressive pose, backed against her five friends. “Don't let them distract you. We have to get to the Elements of Harmony. They're our only hope.”

The six mares jumped forward, and were met by their copies trying to fight them down. The fight turned out to be almost more confusing to the changelings than it was for the ponies, and more than once they were kicked by somepony they had believed to be another changeling copy. The Element-bearers proved even more stubborn and resistant than expected and quickly managed to fight their way to the hall of the Elements, mostly due to the fact that the changelings were trying to subdue them non-violently. It was only thanks to the changelings solid outer shells that they were able to pick themselves up and fly after them again.


~~~~~


“I’m bored…” Clean Cut whined, doing some stretches to pass the time. “Do you think they already caught them?”

He immediately stopped as the large double doors moved, opening to reveal the six Element-bearers. A few of the changelings around him took off to buzz in the air in front of the mares menacingly, but Clean Cut stayed on the ground. The six mares turned around, only to find their escape blocked by the changelings that had followed them.

“You guys stay here, I’m going to get the Elements.” Rainbow Dash whirled around and crouched down, glaring at the changelings threateningly. To her surprise, they actually moved out of the way until only a single changeling stood between her and the door to the Elements.

Clean Cut grinned as he turned into a copy of the blue pegasus. The last time he had seen that mare was when he went to Cloudsdale to watch the Best Young Flyers competition. He was looking forward to seeing how fast she really was.

“No stupid bug is going to take me down!” Rainbow Dash growled. “You might look like me, but I bet you’re not half as fast as me!” With that she took off, dashing towards him at high speed.

Clean Cut grinned and took to the air as well, flying straight on a collision course with her, both ponies only a few feet above the floor. Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “So you want to play chicken, huh?”

Clean Cut only smiled as the other pegasus put her hooves in front of herself to knock him over. A second before the impact, he beat his wings up to push himself down to the floor. With trained precision he turned around as his hooves slid across the floor, coming to a stop right under the surprised Rainbow Dash, just in time to jump up and tackle her to the ground. Before the mare knew what was happening, she was lying on the grounds, a few feathers of each of her wings stuck under the changelings hind hooves while one of his forehooves was pressed against her neck.

“Let me go!” Rainbow tried to struggle under him, but was barely able to move without hurting her wings or the changeling increasing the pressure on her neck. Her friends gasped and started to run over to her, but were stopped by the rest of the changelings blocking their way and surrounding them again.


~~~~~


Crystal watched the three changelings finish their work at the green cocoon they had trapped Princess Celestia in. It was amazing what you could do with a Nightmare Night enchantment if you modified the spell just a little. Cadence was already immobilized, all four hooves trapped in the sticky green goo.

“You won't get away with this! Twilight and her friends will–“ Cadence stopped when a group of changelings entered through the door, along with the six Element-bearers. Two of the changelings were carrying Rainbow Dash, as a precaution to keep her from doing something stupid.

“You were saying?” Crystal smirked, then said the code phrase to tell the other changelings in the room that she would do the rest of the plan alone. “You do realize the reception's been cancelled, don't you? Go! Feed!” The changelings buzzed out of the room immediately and Crystal closed the doors behind them. She was on her own now.

“It's funny, really.” She went over to Twilight, lifting her chin with a hoof while the unicorn glared at her. “Twilight here was suspicious of my behavior all along. Too bad the rest of you were too caught up in your wedding planning to realize those suspicions were correct, nahahah!” She turned around and flew a bit away from her to walk over to one of the large windows.

“Sorry, Twi,” Applejack said. “We should've listened to you.”

“It's not your fault,” Twilight replied. “She fooled everypony.”

“Hmm, I did, didn’t I?” Crystal stopped at the window, looking outside at the streets below. Ponies were running from real and illusionary changelings, magic attacks were still crashing into buildings from above like meteorites, and she could see a pair of royal guards that had been immobilized by the same green goo the Princesses were trapped in. She didn’t want to see it, but she had to give the ponies behind her a chance to do something to stop her, and it needed to seem realistic.

She heard hoofsteps behind her and turned her head slightly to glance at Shining Armor. Sure enough, Princess Cadence was by her groom’s side, hugging him. Crystal let out a small sigh of relief as she used her magic to cancel the sleep spell on him. By a stroke of luck, Cadence cast a spell to try to shake him out of it at the same time, making it look like she was the one who freed him.

“Wha– where... huh? Is...is the wedding over?” Shining Armor shook his head and looked around the room in confusion.

Crystal Love didn’t waste any time to fly over to them, grinning down at the two menacingly. “It’s all over!”

“Your spell!” Twilight yelled. “Perform your spell!”

Crystal just laughed at the idea. “What good would that do? My changelings already roam free.” In fact, Shining Armor’s spell was the best-case scenario of their plan and she hoped that it was exactly what would happen.

“No!” Shining Armor tried to call on his magic, but only a weak glow at the tip of his horn appeared. He let his head hang. “My power is useless now… I don’t have the strength to repel them.”

Cadence was at his side in an instant, giving him a caring and determined look. “My love will give you strength.” She moved closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder.

Crystal laughed, walking back to one of the windows. “Nahaha, what a lovely but absolutely ridiculous sentiment.” She pretended to turn her attention back to the streets outside. In reality, she was preparing herself for what was to come next, and making sure that she wouldn’t have to be smashed through a wall by the spell.

Something was happening behind her… Crystal could feel the magic right through her shell. She turned her head to see what was going to come for her and her jaw dropped at the display of raw power, born from the love of those two ponies for each other. Shining Armor and Cadence were lifted off the ground as the magic began to whip around the room, and it wasn’t even the actual spell yet.

Crystal let out a fearful scream as the wall of magic went out from the two ponies, heading right towards her. It was an act. She didn’t feel the least bit of fear, knowing that everything she did was to give her family the chance at a better life. She would happily die for that, if that would be what it took. Time seemed to slow down as the wall was only a few feet away from her.


~~~~~


“Are you sure that this is the right thing to do? There has to be a better option… We could just continue as we are now, I’m sure the others won’t mind. We already build up lives here in Canterlot over the last decade.” Works looked down. “They don’t want to see you get hurt, either…”

“I am sure.” Crystal sighed. “Not that we could change it, now… The threat has been sent, Canterlot is under high security and we’ll never get a better opportunity than this wedding.”

“We can still call it off. Nopony would know and they’ll just think that the threat is a hoax. This just doesn’t feel right.”

“Of course it doesn’t feel right… It isn’t right. But I’ve thought about it a long time…” Crystal looked at him with a serious expression. She was an actress – if she wanted to make a serious face, even somepony looking in the opposite direction knew that she wasn’t kidding.

“What we’re going to do won’t help our case… It might make changelings look even worse than they already do. But it is still necessary. Those old prejudices have been stuck in ponies’ heads for almost a millennium now. They grew up with them, just like their parents did, and their grandparents. The invasion might cause even worse prejudices against changelings, but they will be new prejudices. We cannot change what ponies have been taught for centuries, but if we show them that what they think to know about changelings is wrong, we might have a chance to convince them that their new picture of us isn’t right either.”

Works sighed and took a sip of his cider, pondering her words. “You really think so?”

“I don’t just think so, Works. I know so.” She leaned closer, whispering even though nopony else was in the office and the door was locked. “Do you remember the old telling mom taught us… About things you know?”

Works eyes widened. “You mean…?”

Crystal nodded. “‘You might think you know something, but you never know for sure.’” She stood up and walked over to the window, looking up at the night sky above Canterlot. Her pink fur coat and her black mane with the green shimmer in it reflected on the glass.

‘Knowledge is objective, and nothing is set in stone. Discord might have been defeated and locked away, but this world is still full of chaos. There is only one thing that you can trust, and you’ll only know it when you feel it…’” She turned her head to look at her brother with calm eyes.

“I had a hunch.”


~~~~~


Crystal spread her forelegs wide as the magic wall came closer and closed her eyes. She smiled as everything around her disappeared in the rose-tinted light of Shining Armor and Cadence’s spell.

The wall hit her.