Chapter 4
Principal- or was it Headmaster? Principal sounded not as harsh, but headmaster had a certain appeal to it... Principal Star stepped behind Luna, wondering what the hell was wrong with her eyes. And her skin color. And her mane. And her clothes. And her plot. Seriously, what was wrong with this place? He kept quiet, taking this chance to quickly inspect her office. Unlike bare rooms of typical ponies, this office had lots of things inside it. Plenty of books, chairs, trophies, pens, shelves, cabinets, what have you. Oddly enough, Luna didn’t turn on the lights...
What a strange place of all things. There are symbols and other things reminiscent of Equestria, but at the same time- Not. I wonder if this Disco- Distant, you’re Distant here. Are you inner monologuing to yourself?
...
Isn’t this that part where the other voices in my head tell me to stop?
...
Am I not insane in this dimension?
...
“Distant?” Luna raised her head and placed both hands on her desk to face him.
Hello! Little voices in my head?
....
Deadpool? You there?
“Yeah, I’m here. What’s up?”
Oh thank you Deadpool, thought I was going to lose my mind there. Listen, I need a favor-
“Distant!” Vice-principal Luna raised an eyebrow at him. “Is there a reason you are looking around my office?!”
“Did I space out there a second?” Distant took a moment to lift his right hand up and to the side, as if offering himself the seat across from Luna’s desk. “Must be the stress.”
“Stress? You? Mr. Strict and by the book?” Luna took a moment to close her eyes a bit. “Forgive me if I’m not sympathetic.”
“Wow, is this why you invited me to your office?” The ‘man’ moved the chair out to sit down on it. It felt weird. He was used to sitting down in things like chariots and thrones, but without his tail and long body, his balance was off. He forced each hand to rest on the armrests to keep himself straight. This Distant was strict here? Did some half assed writer smoked poison joke flower pollen and decided to create this place like this?
“I suppose we are past formalities here. It does strike me as strange, we were expecting your school for the finals after the Fall Formal.” Luna took a moment to look over at the calendar at her side wall. It had a pictures of kittens. “Where’s my fiance? Don’t tell me you left Travis behind.”
“Well, you know me,” Distant bluffed. “And Travis. You will see him soon.” He took a moment to look at the calendar with a raised eyebrow. Well, it might be better than Gamer Luna’s room. Then again, who knows what her place was like here. Back to the bluff. He had no idea what going on now, he decided to just wing it. Still, who in their right state of mind wanted to marry this version of Luna? “I just came to see the other team.”
“Just because Celly and you got divorced doesn’t mean my marriage will end in failure. I just hope Travis makes it so he can watch Hive High go up against our school,” Luna frowned. “They have a very strong team this year. We have to face them to decide who faces your school in the finals.”
“Wait... Did you say, Hive High?” Distant turned to look back at her. “And who got divorced?”
“Look, I’m busy here. If you are not going to be serious and talk to me, I’m going into my trailer,” Inner Deadpool said.
Distant took a moment to try and not react, when he heard the sounds of footsteps going through his head. And then hear a door slam.
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“My Queen,” A changeling quickly ran into the cave the Dark Brands and the changelings had made their HQ. “I bear a message from our spy.”
“A message?” Queen Chrysalis, mother of the changelings. Resembling much like an alicorn, the ruler stood up from her makeshift throne of wood. Her green mane slid over her green eyes to look back down at her messenger.
“We have a spy?” Sombra, the Dark Unicorn, asked. Once, the proud and cruel ruler of the Crystal Kingdom. “I was under the assumption that changelings could no longer be in Canterlot.” The black mane of the unicorn started to flare up again as his red horn begun to glow. “Why were we not made aware of this?”
“How do you think we infiltrated Canterlot the first time?” King Aurelius spoke. Unlike his mate, he had a short green mane and goatee. “In any case, we did not expect our spy to relay any info. Our spy was only under orders to report if any artifacts of power are used.”
“A moment, King,” Master Xehanort called out. The old bald man moved his hands out from behind his long black coat to gesture to each side. “Why artifacts? Do we not have the only artifact needed? I assume that these ponies did not posses weapons.”
“My Queen, if I may?” Imago, elder and changeling general spoke out. Unlike other changelings, this advisor of rulers wore an old tattered indigo hood around his old form. Chrysalis nodded, allowing him to continue. “While it is true that only the Elements of Harmony are artifacts that worry us- That does not mean they have other means to impede us.”
“Are you referring to something like a force field?” Vegeta, prince of all saiyans spoke out. Next to Sombra, the proud warrior had each arm crossed on his chest. “We can easily crush that.”
“Something like this, but no,” Imago turned to face the prince. “They are capable of making their own. But, we refer something akin to an escape plan.”
“Hmm... You mean like an evacuation plan should the capital fall?” Albert Wesker asked. The blonde man moved a hand to adjust his sunglasses. “It would be troublesome. To conquer a country, you need both the leader and the capital. If the ruler escapes, there is a chance of a counter offensive at a later date.” One of the head coordinators of Umbrella, he knew the value of an escape plan.
“And who knows what else. Maybe an artifact to reverse magic effects. Did you know that ponies posses spells that can reform minds?” Pharate called out. The hunter changeling moved away from Mr. Sombrero to look over as the other started to gather in. “While the ponies do not normally use them, they do exist.”
“Reform... spells? Lex Luthor asked, taking his turn to ask. “Are you talking about... mind wiping?” The businessman stepped away from his battle suit to frown. “That’s unheard off! Even Superman never lobotomizes someone! That’s mind rape!” (Well, there was Doomsday, but he got better- to his knowledge at least.)The others picked up their heads, surprised by the angry outburst of the bald man. He always was so calm and collected.
“Uhh, Superman?” Exuvia asked. The only female changeling general, she stepped away luthor, shocked by his change in expression. Luthor merely raised his left hand to cover his eyes and shake his head. He had just defended Superman. Better not dwell on it.
“They rarely use it, and nopony knows them by heart- but if they have an artifact that can copy spells or amplify spells, it would place our whole plan at risk,” Sphragis called out. The only changeling general in actual metal armor, he took his turn to look up at his fellow warrior. “One spell and our entire plan is rendered useless. Bah.”
“I agree with Luthor. That is a spell most foul,” Gilgamesh commented. The weapon collector moved two arms to form fists. “It is beyond cruel and cowardly.”
“I can understand why then a single spy dedicated just for artifacts then,” Kefka the jester said from his upside down seat on the cavern ceiling. Just trying to image that heinous spell casted on him made him shudder. Him, wearing a normal one- or two colors at most- suit without his makeup? Outrageous! He could already picture his pretty hair combed, working in a cubicle and getting excited for casual Fridays. The horror!
“Dispensing with the explanations- what did our spy report?” Exuvia asked.
“A magic mirror of sorts was used. Some of the humans stepped through it, but that is all the spy sends in the message,” Bartz replied.
“A magic mirror?” Sombra furrowed both brows a moment, lowering his head in thought.
“Do you know something of this mirror?” Chrysalis asked. All heads turned back on the unicorn, who simply begun to walk over towards Vegeta’s chosen crystal.
“Maybe. A long time ago, back before I ruled the Crystal Kingdom- A powerful unicorn heard of the power the crystals and magic. I forget his name, but the unicorn ordered for a mirror to be made from a special type of crystal. The same one, I believe at least, from the one the Crystal Heart was made from.” Sombra lowered himself to sit, lifting his head to stare at the saiyan’s regenerator quartz.
“Do you know where the other humans went to? Are they seeking weapons? Allies? Maybe a place to hide?” Vegeta asked, moving to look at his own crystal.
“I’m not sure. According to what I made, it was used to travel dimensions-”
“A moment, Sombra- You made this mirror?” Gilgamesh asked, left hand raised. “But-”
“It was a deal I struck with the powerful unicorn. He taught me what I know of the dark champion spell, while I made the magic mirror,” Sombra smirked, looking at his own twisted reflection. “I have no idea if this is the same mirror I made though.”
“Can you duplicate it? Are you able to send us to the same place the others went?” Luthor asked, stepping back inside his suit.
“I think so, yes. Granted I have no mirror, but we can use your crystals instead. If I recall correctly- There is only one dimension the other champions could have been sent to.” Sombra stepped away from the crystal and head back to walk over to the changelings rulers. “We have a day before the wargames. I think we must send our champions through.”
“Yes. Best be prepared in case Celestia or her allies plan to use this other dimension to their advantage,” Image added.
“Very well. How soon can you send them?” Chrysalis stood up to look over at the Dark Brands.
“Now, if you like...”
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“Uh, you mind letting go of me, Rainbow Dash?” Ralf asked, starting to feel really awkward now. The cyan skinned girl still had her arms around his neck, pushing her little form against his large frame. While he wasn’t getting sexually aroused, he was getting all kinds of mixed signals. Part of it felt ok, but other parts made alarms ring out in his head.
“Yes, let go of Mr. Jones right now, young lady!” Phoenix picked up his head from to look back at Rainbow. Each one of his eyes had narrowed a bit, giving her his nonsense look. A look he had long ago perfected, having used it against Trucy. While not a lawyer anymore, or even in his adult form, Phoenix reached into his turnabout form unconsciously and unleash it. It almost looked like he was angry.
Maybe even jelly.
“Hey, listen up, Egg-” Rainbow had to stop a moment, turning to look at the boy again. She suddenly felt herself tense up, like she got caught doing something wrong. Slowly each arm lowered from around Ralf, giving the ‘coach’ some breathing room. Those eyes... So intense and powerful. While being a captain and used to being in command, the teen girl found herself falling into a submissive stance. Each one of her arms moved to rest behind her back, lowering her gaze away from Phoenix’s eyes. She felt so small, so scrutinized, and so...
“That’s better. Now why are you hugging the coach-”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash suddenly snapped out of her weak moment. For a moment there, it almost felt like she was going to feel like she was getting a crush. “It’s none of your business what I do with my pops!”
“Pops?” Phoenix asked.
“Pops?!” Ralf almost shouted.
“Oh, sorry Coach. I know you don’t want me to call you that here,” Rainbow apologized as she turned to look back at Ralf. He set her down, eyes opened wide for a moment. Did he have a kid with Cheerilee?! And it was a tomboy?! But-
“Ralf, take off you cap,” Phoenix turned to look back at Ralf, eyes closed a bit. Rainbow raised her eyebrows, looking up at how the coach moved his left hand up to remove the baseball cap. Phoenix’s eyebrows raised up as his mouth opened slowly, his left hand pointed up at Ralf’s head. “You have a rainbow on your head...”
“Whut? Where’s my long hair?” Ralf asked, moving his other hand to feel his technicolor crew cut hair.
“Dad, is something wrong with you?” Rainbow asked. “Did this guy feed you extasy as a prank? Because if he did, I’m gonna-”
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“You really think Dan would walk into this building?” Dovahkiin asked. He walked alongside Soma. His head kept moving around, inspecting the structure and the layout. What were these metal things? What was with this oddly firm, yet soft floor? And everything seemed so clean. It didn’t help that he was still distracted by human AJ.
“Well, we did need to split up,” Soma shrugged his shoulders. It had taken the soul hunter a while to explain a few things to the dragonborn, like how to work his cellphone, before they could start searching the school. “And I have no idea if Dan hated schools or not. He’s smart, we both know that much. So, it’s safe to say he did attend schools.” So far in their search though, there was little to actually do other than look.
Well, look in obvious places Dan would try to go to. Like the science labs and try to make a homemade bomb. Or the vocational rooms, where Dan could easily acquire a blowtorch or other makeshift weapon. Even the cafeteria, which had sweet, sweet delicious breakfast meats and that was barely getting started on serving breakfast food. But since it was so early, there was no one to ask if anyone spotted rage incarnate made flesh inside a teen body. That left only the gym that could have weapons, like baseballs bats.
“Hmm?” Dovahkiin stopped walking, lifting his eyebrows up. Did he hear something? Soma stopped walking as well, perking up his head. “Do you hear humming?”
“It’s coming from the gym, I think,” Soma added. They both turned their heads to look over at a light, coming from the bottom of a large set of double doors.
“Not that Soma. It sounds like Pinkie,” Dovah whispered.
“Do you think Pinkie and Dan found each other?” Soma asked, getting worried.
“I pray to all the Daedra, even the evil ones, that Dan can keep his composure. Let us check,” Dovahkiin started to walk over. Soma released as sigh and then followed, bracing for the worst. The larger of the two teens placed his hands on the metal bars and pushed down. Nodding to Soma, the Nord opened the doors and stepped inside.
What greeted each of the teens was a rather strange spectacle. Strange for Soma, because he never did attend many school functions. Strange for the dragonborn, because shit was strange enough already. Various colorful balloons hung from string. Ribbons, flags, and banners decorated the walls. The stage had musical instruments already set up. Tables had white covers on them. Party decorations yet to be put on display rested on a large table near the stage area. And a pink haired girl was blowing up a red balloon.
“Pinkie... Pie?”
“Hmm?” Pinkie Pie picked up her head, holding on to the front end of the balloon to prevent air from coming out. She spotted the person that had the voice of Dovahkiin, call out her name. “Oh oh oh! Did you come to help volun-” she stopped talking, spotting a young teen with silver hair. Her fingers relaxed a bit, letting all the hot air from the latex decoration blow her curly away from her eyes and face.
“You know, it kinda does look like her,” Soma said, standing next to his comrade. “The resemblance is rather- Why is she looking at me like that?” The soul hunter had to take a step back with his left foot, lowering his head to look down as a pink blur shot out in front of him.
“Hi!” Pinkie greeted, big grin on her face. She also sported a dark crimson blush on her already pink cheeks. “I’m Pinkamena Pie! What your name?”
“Uh, hello, I’m Soma Cruz,” Soma managed to blurt out, bit taken aback by her abrasiveness. Dovahkiin quickly moved his head left and right, spotting the pink one’s actions.
“Are, are you a vampire?” Pinkie grinned, moving head head a bit closer to his chest.
“No!” Soma replied a bit too quickly. How did she know? Well, not a full blown vampire, but still!
“Are you sure? You have the odd eyes and hair, not to mention you are so super hunky and too pretty not to be,” Pinkie purred out.
“Hunky?” Soma asked, lifting his left eyebrow.
“Not to mention, you got, like, this really nice aura. Do you sparkle if I put you in sunlight?”
“Uh oh,” Dovahkiin started to sweatdrop. While Soma may not be used to pretty girls flirting with him, this dragonborn was not as dense. He quickly grabbed Soma and dragged him away from the pink one.
“What’s going on?” Soma asked, not fighting back as he was dragged by the back of his heels.
“Pinkie’s flirting with you! Are ye daft, boy!” Dovahkiin admonished him in a low voice.
“No way!” Soma called out, turning to look back at... a missing Pinkie Pie.
“Yeah way!” Pinkie giggled, now at Soma’s right side.
“Ah!” Soma shouted, jumping in place to stand back up. “But-”
“Yeah, you got a nice butt!” Pinkie shut her eyes and chuckled. “I got no date for the fall formal. Want to go with me?!”
“What?!” Soma exclaimed, moving his left hand to loosen his neck collar a bit. Dan was going to unleash unspeakable acts on his personal well being. Images of Dan tying up Soma to a torture wheel popped into his head. He started to sweatdrop, when an image of Dan tied him up to get run over by a train. Soma was then truly horrified when an image of Dan tickling his feet with a feather also appeared.
“Dan will end you if you say yes,” Dovahkiin moved to get between Soma and Pinkie. “Run, you fool!”
Bonus:
“Ungh.”
Lex Luthor moved a hand to his head, holding it a bit to make his eyesight stop rolling around. He took a moment to shut his eyes and then slowly move to stand. While he had used portals, wormholes, boomtubes, and other means of travel- that was the first time he ever went through a spiral vortex that had such pastel colors.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” Lex moaned out as he stood up slowly. Both hands then moved to started dusting his clothes. Well, at least he was in dry land. And on pavement! Was he back home?! “Where...”
He stopped talking, turning to look a sign.
“NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!