//------------------------------// // Redacted // Story: Equestria Girls: For Your Eyes Only // by GoldenGoomba900 //------------------------------// "Sister?" Vice Principal Luna asked, stepping into Principal Celestia's office. "Why did you let some random stranger wander the school, invade the students privacy, and give him the key to every room?" Celestia sighed, sitting down. "Because dear sister, I was distracted with something else and he's part of the FBI! We can't turn him down or he'll believe that something's up!" "But if he finds out the truth who knows what will hap-" "Sister, dear sister... relax. He'll never find out the truth. How long has this been secret?" "Twenty years..." "And one little slip-up won't unravel the whole thing! He'll move on, cover it up, and we'll get back to life as normal... now get back to work, if we're going to go on vacation you're going to need to hold those parent-teacher conferences." Luna nodded, leaving the room to Principal Celestia. "Although... it may be a good idea to keep an eye on him..." Celestia took out her personal computer and looked over the staff listing. "Mister Discord... no, he was arrested... again. Professor Sombra? ...No, he's been busy with chemistry experiments. Miss Chrysalis is on Maternity Leave..." Night had fallen on Canterlot High as Agent Black watched those being held march to their cells. Except for one Pinkie Pie, described as everything from "Magic" to "Insane" by the students of Canterlot High School. As he entered the room, he blinked, confused at the sight of the mare toying with the table lamp, using it as a flashlight. Childlike wonder filled the agent for a brief second before he shook it off. "Ahem..." "Oh! Hello! I'm Pinkie Pie." She smiled, seeming not to understand why she was there, although she did set down the lamp. "You're Agent Black!" She said, happily. "...H-how did you...? Nevermind. That's not important. I need to ask a few questions about your friend, Twilight Sparkle." She smiled so wide he swore it would fall off her face. "Oh I thought you'd NEVER ask! I wanted to be the one who told about Twilight, but I was worried the others would be asked first! Well, it aaaaaallll started about three days ago! Kinda... Well, Shimmer went through a portal in the statue and stole this reaaally nice crown that looked just like the one for the dance! So then she came back, but Fluttershy found the crown first and gave it to Principal Celestia, then Twilight showed up and A BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS HAPPENED!" She declared, ecstatic. "Then we became friends! Then she made the rest of us friends! And then sh-" "No, I mean... she must have told you what happened before she came from the "portal" in the statue." He said, glad to have gotten a lead on the case, even if it was something as inane as that. "Well, she's a pony princess from a magical land of Equestria which is a land of OTHER talking horses, and came through the portal looking for a magical element that Sunset Shimmer stole from her world!" She smiled again, the agent blinking at this dump of information. "And... she told this to you?" "Well, kinda! I asked her if all that was true and she said yes! And so did her adorable little puppy!" "...Have you or your friends been ingesting narcotics or hallucinogenics at any point of this adventure?" She gasped, holding her left hand to her chest. "NEVER! I would never do anything like that! I was part of the Drug Resistance And Control Under Los Angeles!" "...D.R.A.C.U.L.A.?" The agent asked. "Yep yep yepper!" "Well, thank you for your time Miss Pie. We'll still need to keep you for questioning, but for now you have to go to bed." She nodded and began standing up, yawning a bit. "Yeah, I probably should hit the hay... it's been saying things about me behind my back!" She giggled at her own joke as Agent Black let her go. Principal Celestia groaned as she shut her laptop, everybody at school busy or on holiday... this should have been expected, it was Homecoming. "This isn't working out, is it?" Came Luna's voice. "No sister... but I will not let him find anything, this secret is far too valuable. I'll just use the monitors, and whenever he goes too close to something I'll bring him here from the intercom." "And if that doesn't work?" Celestia was silent. "We'll just have to hope it does." The next morning was dark and rainy, but it was Saturday anyway so nobody showed up other than a few who were taking specific lessons, were in Drama Club, or worked in the building. And Agent Black, of course. As he stepped out of the black sedan that dropped him off, his black rain-coat taking the brunt of the assault, he wondered about the statue. Of all the things to be a portal, why a statue? Why not a wall or window or even a doorway? Perhaps it was because it was sturdier, or that the symbol of the horse atop the stone slab was some kind of supernatural signal. Assuming there was a portal, of course! The agent quickly reassured himself. As he approached the statue, he began looking it over. This thing caused problems on a surprisingly large scale, and not just because it was a popular vandalism spot. Since the founding of the school, the "Wonder Colt" (a stallion supposedly possessing the ability to grow crops by simply stepping on a patch of land) stood careful watch over every major event in the state's history (except for the ones behind him, of course). Rounding the corner behind the statue he found quite a few kids gathered behind it. "Hey, clear out. FBI." He said, shooing off the group and turning back to it. It was a standard marble statue, easily crafted but unlikely to be broken anytime soon. It'd take no less than a sledgehammer to destroy this thing. As he rubbed the base he found, unsurprisingly, no portal pulled him to another mystical and wonderful world. He didn't slowly clamber out into a world of tiny equines who looked similar to a school principal. None of that, just a wet, smooth surface. Smiling, he got up and began walking towards the building, his faith restored that this was all just one weird story. He then fell down into the crater, his mind too focused on his job. Meanwhile, in the large city of San Francisco, a man sat down with his family as he turned on the evening news. In his nice two story house, his daughter read a book while her mother edited one of her client's novels. His son was due back from the war any day now and the dog was sleeping on the center of the floor. As he popped open a bottle of beer and took off his work hat, he realized it was the end of a good day and potentially the beginning of a great night. Until of course, he saw the night's top story. As he spat out his drink all over his dog, his nice chair, and the carpeted floor his mind raced to thousands of different conclusions. "Twily?! Why're you and Spike on the evening news!?" The girl looked up, horrified as she saw a visage of her with wings, ears, and a tail. "I-I-I, What?!" The dog yipped and ran behind the couch, started at the sudden spray of drink. "If you've seen this girl and this dog, call this number immediately!" The announcer said, a phone number flashing on the screen. As she saw her photo and her father and mother looking at her, her mind raced. First the youtube video, now this? Who was this girl trying to make her life a living Hell, and how come she looked exactly like her? "Dad, l-lemme explain..." She said, not quite sure how she'd explain. "Twily! Of all the boneheaded, idiotic, dangerous-" The TV cut him off. "Yes, this girl is a hero! Her and her magic talking dog!" None of the three expected that to be the next statement from the reporter’s mouth as they turned back at the TV. It cut to an interview. "Well, you see, there was this crazy lady right?" A nerdy kid said, clearly not used to being filmed. "Her name was Sunset Shimmer! A-and she took this crown! And she turned into this monster! Then she zapped us and when we woke up, Twilight Sparkle and her friends were like... superheroes or something! They were glowing and had horse ears and tails and wings an-" He was cut off by amateur footage of the event, filmed with a cell-phone camera at an odd angle from being dropped to the floor. "Yes, it seems Los Angeles has a few Angels indeed!" The reporter said, chuckling. "We now go to Sarah with the latest update on the Pineapple Drought in Michigan." Silence filled the room as they stared at the normal inane gibberish usually shown on the news, not quite understanding what they'd seen seconds before. Except for Spike, who had begun licking off the beer stains from the floor. As the agent warmed up in the teacher's lounge, he dug everything out of his pockets to let them dry, the next part of Brad's poem sitting out before him. "I recall way back when we were together When every moment felt like a pleasure. The time with you was worth more than treasure, and how I miss that silver and gold when I thought together we'd grow old." Moaning, the agent looked up at Celestia, who'd taken it upon herself to baby him. "You don't have to do this, ma'am." He said, shivering as a nice warm blue cotton blanket was wrapped around him. "Nonsense. We both work for the government, we're practically co-workers." She smiled, going to the microwave. "Beef or chicken soup?" "Chicken." He sneezed, unhappy that a day of investigation would be wasted being waited on by a suspect.