//------------------------------// // 4 - Far Beyond Love // Story: Far Beyond Different // by Motion Reflux //------------------------------// Chapter 4 Weakness is the first step. The last step is finding yourself. You will reach so far but you'll never catch it. A wish can only harm those with a weak heart, A curse can destroy all with a strong spirit. It was already morning in Ponyville and unbeknownst to Rainbow Dash I had snuck out of her home. Hopefully she didn't rat me out to her friends but I really needed some alone time. I had landed by a nearby bridge and sat near the river that the bridge had crossed over. That's where I spent my night... just sitting there and thinking to myself. I felt that I had stepped backwards a couple of steps in my rehabilitation due to Rainbow Dash... but... I don't want to accuse her of that. I don't know why I don't want to though... I mean... isn't it her fault that I'm sitting right here by the river, now? "Flow?" the sounds of somepony searching for me reached me ears. I didn't want to be found... Just not yet. I crouched down and hid as best as I could. Then I saw a white unicorn staring down at me from right atop the bridge and say, "Dear, It isn't very kind to run away and hide like that." I watched as she crossed the bridge to my side and approach me with a worried expression. Then I heard her say, "You had every pony worried, Flow." "I... I didn't mean to worry everypony..." I said to her with a sigh, "I just wanted some alone time..." "Alone time doesn't cut it, dear, you really should have warned somepony before rushing away like that." that white unicorn lectured me. I wiped my eyes and then responded, "I'm sorry then, for worrying everypony. I'll try to tell someone when I'm leaving rather than dashing away." She nodded to me and walked back up and I followed behind her and I saw everypony that was looking for me: Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity... but... I didn't see Rainbow Dash... I walked up to the purple alicorn and asked, "Where's Rainbow?" All I got in response was, "She immediately flew off somewhere after she told me you were missing." Fluttershy stepped up to me and said in her shy tone that I've heard before, "We thought she went out searching for you too because we haven't seen her in a while..." "We only heard about'yer disappearance from Twi." Applejack stated as she approached me as well. Pinkie Pie cartwheeled up to me and with a squeak she said, "Weweresoworriedaboutyouflow!" "Uh... yeah... I'm sorry 'bout worrying you all" I said to everyone, the tone of my own voice sounded pleading in my own ears. I looked over to the skies and wondered where Rainbow Dash was... I kind of wanted to say sorry to her the most. I saw that purple alicorn, Twilight Sparkle, look at me and heard her say, "Let's get back on schedule now, Flow... we still can't waste any time now after all the things you've been remembering." Her eyes looked pleading to me as she said, "You have been remembering your past... right?" I only gave her a nod but I avoided telling her about my last few memories. I'll keep those for later when I do need to tell them... Besides... They don't really need to know about them... "Just a couple of things, really..." I said to her with a forced smile. I felt as if everypony knew that I was not really smiling but I shrugged away that feeling and thought about my problem again. Then Rarity approached me closely and said, "Come with me, Flow, since it is my turn to be with you" I looked at her and gave her a small nod and said, "Rarity... can I talk to Twilight a bit first? I... need to tell her something that I can only trust her knowing." I saw that white unicorn give me a nod and I watched as she stepped away but before she left my view she said, "After you're done with Twilight you can meet me and Fluttershy at the Day Spa, dear." I waved farewell as Rarity and Fluttershy went to the spa, meanwhile everypony except me and Twilight Sparkle had left afterwards and I gave them my farewells as well. Then I looked to Twilight Sparkle and asked her, "Twi... let's go to your place because I don't want anypony hearing at all about what I'm about to tell you... okay...?" That purple alicorn nodded in response and said, "Well, Let's get going then." So that's what we did, I followed behind her as we trotted back to her place which was the Ponyville Library. ESCAPE... I stayed close and ignored the voice in my head... the grim, dark, and hate-filled voice that was whispering. ESCAPE NOW... We got to the library and I quicked passed by Twilight Sparkle and got inside. It felt like I had this cold sweat and I was worried about myself. "T-Twilight... please make s-sure your assistant isn't listening as well..." I stuttered as I grasped for my words. "He's already out..." that alicorn looked at me and worryingly asked, "but... is there something wrong, Flow?" KILL HER... "T-Twi... the memories... s-something is... th-there was..." I couldn't complete the sentence as if some third party was preventing me. YoU WorThLEsS FoAL! KiLL heR NOw!!! I struggled to keep myself still and I quoted what my friend had told me and so I said to her, "I-I wasn't th-the only one with a wi-wish!" "What?!" Twilight Sparkle shouted in response. KiLL tHEm aLL! ELiMinAte tHaT UsELesS rAce! Initiation sequence activated... Primary armor functions in restore mode... Estimated time until completion... under 4 days... YOu WiLL NEvEr bE fRee... yOuR fRiENDs... ArE... DEAD... "But... who else would possibly to that?!" Twilight Sparkle responded in a loud voice. Then I looked at her, ignoring all the voices that were penetrating my mind other than hers and I said as I wiped the cold sweat off my face, "...my old friends..." "But Twi... this isn't the only thing I want to tell you..." I said to her and was finally able to think clearly again and talk normally once more. The purple alicorn looked at me straight in the eyes and said, "What else is there, Flow...?" I got close to her side and whispered into her ear, "I want to tell you my dream..." I better get to the Day Spa now... even though I'm not completely sure I should... although I guess that Spas are supposed to be calming and such. I walked past the doors of the spa and was immediately greeted by a spa pony and she quickly introduced herself to me. I told her my name and she quickly led me to where Rarity and Fluttershy were and she said that my cost would be on the house which I thought was really kind. Then I looked towards Rarity and Fluttershy whom seemed to already be having a conversation in the larger tub that I figured was filled with warm water. "Hey Rarity! Hey Fluttershy!" I called out with a smile as I cantered up to them. I'm still getting used to this whole emotional feelings and what not and I'm still also figuring out how to express emotions on my own without automation. Fluttershy was the first to look over at me and she greeted with her awkwardly silent voice, "Oh... Hi Flow...!" "Yes, Welcome dear," Rarity said after Fluttershy and continued with an inviting tone as she spoke, "Come and join us, the water is quite pleasant." The tub they were in was incredibly large and required me to go up a small staircase. I walked up and hesistated about going in, something inside of me was making me want to avoid water, "U-uhm..." "Hm, what is it?" that white unicorn asked. I replied, "Nothing!" and then I slowly made my way into the warm tub of water where Rarity and Fluttershy were relaxing. Then I heard a familiar voice. I remember this feeling. I'm sorry about letting the curse tempt you, Flow, but I was incredibly weakened by the current events. I'm fighting a war that I don't think I can win without a true miracle and it seems that miracle is about to come true. How so, my old friend? Don't worry about it, little Flowwy, just... keep yourself going and don't let the darker voices tempt you... and don't forget to fulfill your dream... That dream... I... I don't think it's possible. It's only impossible for as long as you delay it. I believe that in the final moments you will gain that courage to fulfill it... I know so... Alright, old friend... I'll see to it that I forge on. "Flow?" the yellow pegasus pony silently called out to me and that seemingly hush tone had broken my trance. I scratched my eyes with my forehooves, "Wha-Huh?" "Oh! I uhm... asked you a question..." Fluttershy had shyly turned her cheek towards me as she spoke. I looked towards her and gave off a short sigh and then I responded in my most kind tone, "I didn't pick it up, may I hear it again please?" Fluttershy seemed to have calmed her nervousness when I spoke to her and I heard her say, "Okay... um... E-Earlier, Rarity and I were talking about where you might be from... s-so... D-Do you remember where you were born or w-what place you lived in b-before you arrived here...?" Once I heard this question I undoubtedly already knew the answer and so I answered her question with, "I don't remember; I'm sorry, Fluttershy." Rarity intervened and said, "There's no need to be sorry, dear, It was just a simple question and you answered it the best you possibly could." Then I watched her lay back and relax and I looked towards the yellow pegasus who said to me, "Yeah... there's no need to apologize... I just figured if I asked then maybe it would help you remember something..." I looked up at Fluttershy and gave her a soft smile as I said, "It makes me feel happy that you did try at least." Then after that, time passed by quickly and we were out of the spa. It felt like only a couple of minutes had passed since I arrived, even if I did arrive late. I waved goodbye to the timid yellow pegasus as she left... being around her made me feel more at ease than normal. Which reminds me... "Hey Rarity..." I asked her as we were walking down the path to her place. Then I heard her respond, "Hm? What is it, Flow?" I continued to look forward and avoiding eye contact with her as I asked, "Do you think... No... N-nevermind, I forgot what I was going to say." Truth was... I knew just what I wanted to say... "You've fallen for somepony haven't you, dear?" that white unicorn said out of the blue which made me feel blue on the inside. I winced and then replied to her, "I-It's not like t-that! It's j-just..." "Love?" Rarity teased me with a smile and we bothed stopped walking and she turned to face me and she said to me, "I can tell when a mare has fallen in love, dear." After she told me that we started once again trotting to her place and it was just silence the rest of the way. I avoided talking to her about it now, especially if she knew exactly what I thought she knew... We were at the door to a large establishment and I turned towards Rarity who, with a smile, said to me, "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, Darling." I looked at her, "Carousel Boutique?" "Yes dear, Carousel Boutique. This is my home as well as my workplace where I make dresses for every pony." Rarity answered as she then walked into the building. I followed behind her and once inside I was impressed by how decorated and beautiful it looked. Rarity turned to look at me and she said, "Hm... I think I have just the idea for a dress just for you!" I looked at her and said, "Uh, Rarity, I don't think I really need a dress." "I'll make you a dress anyways, Flow, Just think of it as a gift from me to you." the while unicorn fixed my mane slightly, "Although, dear, I'll fix it up for you later because I still have some orders I have to attend to first." I guess she's made up her mind about it now so all I could do was nod in agreement. Then I heard her sigh, "I know that you're worried about Rainbow Dash." "Tch..." I recoiled backwards from her words. "Every pony is worried as well, dear, but I have this feeling that you're much more so worried than us." she told me straightforward. She gave me a brisk smile as she spoke, "I won't tell any pony so don't worry, Darling." Then that white unicorn distanced away from me slightly as I saw three little fillies enter the room. One of them was the same white color as Rarity, except with a much more curly lavender mane, the next was yellow with a red mane and had no distinguishing horn or wings so I presumed she was an earth pony, and the last one was an orange pegasus with a rough purple mane. The three immediately approached me and started eyeing me down like they were inspecting me. "Hmmmm... she's new 'ere isn't she?" the yellow earth pony said to her friends and in response the small white unicorn said, "Yeah! I've never seen her here before!" The orange one circled around me and then spoke, "Woah! Hey girls, look at her cutie mark!" The other two the circled to where she was and I kept my eye on them as they looked at my cutie mark, to which I wondered why they were so entranced by it. "Hey lady!" the orange one grabbed my attention, "What's your cutie mark supposed to be?" I turned towards and faced them and answered, "My cutie mark is of a flowing wave followed by a large tidal wave flowing in the same direction." The yellow earth pony spoke, "Wow! Cool! How did'you get it, miss?" I smiled and asked, "Maybe I'll tell you that story if you all give me your names first." I guess it'll be good to be friends with these three. They all looked at each other and smiled and then the small white unicorn shouted, "I'm Sweetie Belle!" The orange pegasus was next and she yelled, "I'm Scootaloo!" Finally the yellow earth pony was last and she cheered, "And ah'm Applebloom!" Then in unison I heard them all shout together, "And we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" I looked at them with a puzzled face and asked, "The Cutie Mark Crusaders?" Rarity then finally walked in between the three and myself and said to me, "Don't worry about them dear, Sweetie Belle is my little sister and these two are her friends and they just go around trying to find their talents." "Hm, well honestly to tell you all the truth I don't believe my cutie mark really signifies my talent." I said to all of them. I looked at Rarity and then said with a sigh, “I don’t actually remember my cutie mark story, I can’t even recall a single bit of it.” Neither can I remember any of it. The three little fillies all frowned and all I do in response was apologize. Rarity then shooed away the fillies and we were alone together again. AFTER ALL... IT’S ALL A FABRICATION, ISN’T IT...? Tch... then what am I, anyways...!? The time hanging out with Rarity did make me feel more at ease with myself though, and I also got to hang a bit with Fluttershy as well. In the end, Rarity led me to where I’d be sleeping for tonight and she didn’t put any pressure on me during our conversation earlier. The day ended quicker than expected as well... Aren’t I just... a machine...? “There would be no pony who could love me...” “Rainbow Dash... I’m sorry, Rainbow Dash...” I said these words out loud as if I knew no one was listening... but then I sensed a small presence outside the room I was in. I felt as if nothing mattered anymore... the rainbow I chased was fleeing away... You’re nothing but an insult to life. That’s how I feel now... I just shouldn’t exist... I wish I never existed... I wish she never existed... One is always affected by the one they adore. The other is expected to try harder than ever before.