My eyelids felt heavy. I couldn’t bring myself to open them or move any part of my body, especially my left hoof. For some reason it felt numb, I couldn’t feel or move it. About the rest of my body… well I was just too lazy. My head was resting on a hard, and if slightly sticky surface. There was no light on my left eyelid, and I felt considerably more pressure on the left side of my face, so I assumed that I was sleeping on my left side. Where ever I was sleeping it most certainly wasn’t in my bed, or any kind of bed for that matter. It was too hard for my taste, I was sleeping in a sitting position and my hooves dangled a little of the ground, just low enough to touch the floor a bit.
I will have one stiff neck when I get up.
I didn’t feel as refreshed as I should have, all I wanted to do was go back to sleep. Unfortunately there were a couple of things that prevented me from doing that. Somepony was repeatedly pushing me back and forth, I wasn’t entirely sure if whoever was doing it was trying to wake me up or rock me back to sleep. I was a little scared and wasn’t sure if I was even able to or if it really was a good idea to go to sleep, considering that someone broke in to my house and was either trying to wake me up or doing something I probably didn’t want to know.
Then there was the dream I had, what scared me the most was the fact that I remembered the whole thing. I usually don’t remember my dreams at all, or, on some rare occasions, I remember some parts of the dream, but forget most of it at the end of the day. This time it was different. I remembered the whole thing like it actually happened, and it looked too real for my comfort; mostly because of the pain I felt when I hit that rock.
After a few moments I started to sober up a little. It didn’t do much to make me get up, but I did regain my hearing, even if it was muffled a little. Right then, I gained a new respect for deaf ponies.
In addition to the constant rocking I now had to put up with someone repeating my name monotonously, like a broken record. I tried to identify the owner of the voice, but I was just too tired and it was just impossible to identify it while my hearing wasn’t top-notch, and certainly not because I couldn’t even recognize my own voice on a recording, twice. What I was sure of, however, was that it was a female voice. Either that or someone has a really high pitched voice; improbable, but still not entirely out of the question.
After what felt like thirty minutes, but was more likely to be thirty seconds, of continuous rocking, chanting my name and utter failure and inability to ignore it all, on my part, it all just abruptly stopped. I waited for a few seconds, waiting for him/her to resume annoying me for whatever goal they were trying to accomplish. It didn’t happen, or I was just too inpatient and didn’t give them enough time to do something worse.
That last thought left me a little uneasy. Well I had mix thoughts about it all: on one hand it could be getting the equipment or planning to do something more annoying than before, or it was getting some kind of a weapon, preferably and ax, a butchers knife or any other sharp object that it could kill me with. Or worse, torture me, kill me, then cut my body to pieces and leave them at random locations over the city, to hide most of the evidence and make it hard to find all the parts, thus making the detectives work harder and discouraging him from perusing the murderer. Well it had to worry about tracking magic, but only if it left any personal items. Or it could just tie something heavy, that didn’t float, and dump my body in the sea. Dunwall does have one of the most important ports in equestrian.
Although considering how widespread the plague has become it could just incapacitate, tie me in a white cloth and pass me trough as one of the plague victims. I’ve seen some ponies that were still alive, it is possible that they were already infected and sick beyond help, or just couldn’t afford it. The guards aren’t very gentle with the corpses either, so even if you were still alive that wouldn’t last for long, no one can survive a fall from a 10 meters high bridge into an iron boat filled with dozens, if not hundreds of corpses.
And to top it all of detectives are almost extinct. No one can afford them anymore and there just isn’t a need for them. Even with all the crime that has surfaced up lately.The authorities have a different way of dealing with them: kill them, or take them to be interrogated, get them to tell where their base of operation is and then kill all of them, simple and cruel as that.
Professional detectives are usually reserved for the rich nobles, to spy at their wives or husbands to see if they are cheating on them. The worst part is that it’s actually a well-paid job, if you can get it that is. Only way to become a personal detective for a rich noble is by reputation or with good connections. Sadly reputations are, almost, always faked. The way that is achieved is by having several friends that work, preferably, at the nobles’ estate. Personally I don’t see the difference between the two, I think it’s something about being recommended by another noble, which somehow diminishes a little of your capabilities in your field of work, and the second act of building a lie that they eat up and that gets you… more praise? At least that my theory, still don’t see the point of it all.
I’ll be honest, there are a lot of ponies that dislike me, and I’ll even go as far as to say that they outright despise me, but I highly doubt that they hate me that much to kill me or send someone to do it for them. Then again these are insane and desperate times, and I did drive some ponies to poverty, mostly weapon manufacturers. Well not really, but they did lose a large percentage of their demands and earnings. I would have completely taken over weapon manufacturing, but, as it turns out, there aren’t a lot of ponies willing to mass-produce guns. Their favorite excuses are: to say that the design is too complicated, or that it is too expensive to make them, with all the little parts and what-not.
There is still a large need for swords though, but mostly for newer recruits and for ceremonial purposes. The only problem is the practicality of that particular weapon. Sure it dangerous an powerful, but not everypony can use them, only unicorns and some skilled pegasai, the rest, manly earth ponies, have to use their mouths to hold them, which leads to a lot of injuries, infections and I’m pretty sure that they are more likely to get the plague than others.
Even if it is some crazy lunatic after his revenge, or just a harmless prankster, I wasn’t going to take my chances; they did break into my home. It’s funny how fear works just as well as a splash of ice-cold water on your face to wake you up. It wasn’t like I was going to fall asleep again after this anyway. I had work to do, actual work, and I also had to deal with this housebreaker. I just hope I can talk it into leaving, I’m really not good with fighting.
With some mild effort I opened my eyelids, not fully, just enough to see, but still little enough as to seem that they were still closed. My vision was blurry, as I should have expected considering that I did wake up 2-3 minutes ago. I think my sense of time was a little off so I’m not completely sure. It felt like a lot longer had passes, but half a hover was completely wrong, so I went by what I thought was the most probable time lapse.
My room was a blend of black, gray and brown blurry colors that only slightly resembled… anything? The blurs didn’t look anything like the things in my home. There was no red for the bare bricks, and when I think about it a little this table was tilted in an angle. That’s strange. I don’t remember having one of those in my home, just an old, long dining table. That table, even with its extensive use over the years, and my misuse and torturing of the thing, the table still held strong and was in one piece without being crooked.Either someone refurnished my home when I wasn’t looking, which shouldn’t be hard considering how small it is, or this wasn’t my home at all, which was the more likely of the two possibilities.
I looked around more, trying to see if I could find something that would help me identify the place. There, right in front of me, stood a large pink blur. My sight still wasn’t the best, but if I had to guess it was probably ten or more centimeters from my face.
I wondered. I only know two ponies that have a pink coat and there was no way that I was in either ones presence, each for different reasons. This information wasn’t as useful as I hoped it would be, it was nothing that would particularly help me in identifying this place. I looked back at the pink blur, which fusing with the background colors giving it a slightly darker shade, but then again my vision was pretty bad. No matter how much I tried it was impossible to identify anything. If I could see slightly more details perhaps I would be able to make something of this room, but then again I’m not sure if I could even spot the differences between a chair and a barrel.
I stared at the pink blur for a long time, at least by my highly inaccurate sense of time, waiting for my sight to clear a little. Luckily that was happening, but too slowly for my inpatient taste.I blinked hard a couple of times. It did help, now the blur resembled a pony shape, at least slightly. It was no more than a blurry, pink, silhouettewith an occasional, if barely visible, gold streak at its top part, where its head should be.
I don’t know how but I think I know that pony. She seemed familiar, but I just can’t remember who she is. It’s on the top of my tongue... just… Argh, I hate it when I’m so close to figuring something out and jet I can’t. I think I should sleep on it a little, if it wanted to do something to me it would have by now, and I don’t think I could run or defend myself weary well.
I closed my eyes, positioning my head so I would be as comfortable as I could get lying on this crooked table. Sleep came easily, or at least it would have if it didn’t start nudging me with, what I presumed was its hoof. In response I fidgeted my right hoof, in a failed attempt to swat its hoof.
“Stop poking me and let me sleep for five more minutes” Is what I wanted to say, but it came out more of an incomprehensible mumble than a real sentence.
To my surprise It did stop. I, accurse, knew that it was strange and that, for some reason, nothing good could come out of it. Even with curiosity fueling my ever-growing fear of the unknown, I still didn't bother opening my eyes. Instead I reverted back to trying to fall asleep, and being thankful for the silence and the lack of the short, continuous, physical contacts. The peace and tranquility was, sadly, short lived.
No more than ten or so seconds, by my now improving sense of time, It went at it again. Although, this time, it wasn't the usual kind of annoyance. It inhaled deeply. I quickly opened my eyes, knowing in advance what it was going to do.
“WAKE UP!!!” It screamed in to my right ear, not more than a few centimeters away from me, blowing up my eardrums in to a million peaces.
“Please don’t kill me!” I screamed in response, while simultaneously jumping off of my chair, standing on my rear two hooves and supporting myself with my front hooves firmly planted on the table.
At that point I wasn’t really thinking about what I was saying, I only blurted out the first thing that came to my mind, and in that moment of panic the only thing I could think of was the revenge crazed psycho-killer theory.
I shivered slightly, clenching my eyes firmly shut, I stud there, too afraid to move or do anything else for that matter. I stood there for a time, not daring to twitch a muscle. I did, however, know that it was silly and stupid to be afraid for a number of reasons. But as scissors beat paper, and scissors are very sharp, fear dominated over reason in this case.
As for the pony, I was pretty sure it was a pony, next to me. She, now confirmed, did a lot of things in a short span of only a few seconds. First she was silent, which was right after my little panicked yell. After that she started snickering and snorting, covering her laughing and for a good reason. When she finally failed to contain herself, she started to laugh harder than I have ever heard anyone laugh, and I think she was also rolling on the floor, that I knew, despite my lack of vision, thanks to the loud ‘thumps’ coming below me.
When I finally collected enough courage to open my eyes, I wasn’t expecting to see what I did, a blue blur with faint traces of white. I turned my head to the left, then to the right, but all I could see was the same blur with the same patterns.I lifted my right hoof to rub my eyes, while still keeping my left one on the table for balance. That would have worked if only the blue thing wasn’t on my face, somehow. In turn, all this, made the pinkish mare laugh even harder.
‘That’s enough!’ I thought to myself ’I’ve been laughed at long enough’. I ripped the offending piece of paper off my face. I only spared a quick glance to see what it actually was; to my horror it was the technical sketch of my newest invention. It’s a spider like machine that is supposed to help earth ponies, and non magical beings in general, perform tasks that are otherwise impossible to them: lifting heavy objects, reaching too high places… I checked for any rips or tears to it, but was relived to find out that there were none.
I now knew where I was, thanks to my sketch. I was in my workshop located in the south castle wing. My office was also the whole non magical research facility, and it’s pretty small considering that it is just a 3.10x3(meters) cubical. There wasn’t a lot of room, even without all the junk I piled on. Only my work table, a chair and a whole lot of spare parts were in it, there wasn’t even a carpet.
That also explained the crooked table. I looked what else was on the table, and there I found a whole collection of specialized pens attached to another one of my inventions to make their use easier for creatures without magic or digits; quite simple really, just a metal ring vide enough to fit on to a hoof, in this case, and a smaller one to hold the pen. On the top right edge of the table was small scale model of my latest invention, made out entirely of scrap metal and broken parts, because that was the best I could use that wasn’t needed later.
“Shadow?” said a voice from my right.
I turned my head toward the voice, just to find Princess Candacelying on the floor. It took me a few seconds to comprehend all of ‘that’.
“…What are you doing?” I asked slowly, not entirely sure what to make of it.
“Uh, untie Celestia told me to get you” She said and hastily got back on her feet, a faint blush was spreading over her cheeks.
“And she couldn’t order one of the staff members to do it because?” I asked.
“Because I offered to do it” Candace explained, and dusted off her gold striped purple dress.
“Oh, ok then,” I said “what does she need me for?”
Her face lit up immediately” Oh, I have great news. Shiny is coming back early from his expedition.” Shiny was her husband’s nick name, Prince Shining Armor. And he was on an expedition to find a permanent cure for the plague for the last three months. His coming could mean that he found the cure or has failed, either way it was greatly anticipated.
“That’s great,” I said with a great big smile “But that still doesn’t explain why the princess needs me.” I said shifting from a happy tone to a more serious one.
In response she rolled her eyes and said” Do you always have too ruin my fun?”
“Yes.” I said in response.
She sticked her tongue out “No wonder you have no friends”
“So, that would imply that you don’t exist?” I asked in a flat tone.
“Who said that I was your friend” Candace responded.
“Touché”
“Anyway back to topic” she said “The reasons auntie wants to see you now are because Shiny is coming in a few hours and she wants you to make the presentation in the meantime. There is going to be a party tomorrow, so that’s why your presentation was moved up.”
“WHAT!” I screamed “I’m not prepared. Sure I have everything here but I’m not sure how to present it yet. What if I mess it up?”
*slap* “Calm down, I’m sure you will do fine, you always do.” She reassured me.
“Yes, when I’m prepared!” I screamed again, ignoring the slap, it was a light one.
*slap* “Just because we are good friends doesn’t mean you can yell at me, I’m still the princess.” The “princess” explained.
I rubbed my cheek, she had one hell of a right hoof. I sight “Ok, I’ll be ready in a minute, just need to take a few things.’’ She nodded in agreement and I went to work getting my stuff. That sounds easier than it is.
My room wasn’t known for being too clean or easy to get around in. Mostly because the “spare parts” as I like to call them, but in reality they were leftover pieces that the other facilities didn’t need, and I had no material resources to get on my own. Across the table, on the other side of the room, was a medium large storage closet which held all of my equipment and other sketches I had.
The first and most important thing was my black case where I hold my sketches and some equipment, showing post, the small scale model and the sketches. After getting the most important equipment I went on to get the personal items: my old battered brown coat, which I didn’t button, and sadly nothing else because I don’t have that may things.
Candace gave me a questioning look, to which I just nodded. With that silent conversation finished we went to the throne room. As I was about to take the case into my mouth Candace lifted it with her magic and carried it for me, to which I gave a nod of thanks. Putting things in your mouth was both insanitary and tasted bad.
The walk to the throne room wasn’t a short as one would expect, the caste was huge. On the way there I continued getting sharp and dangerous looks from the ponies we passed. I knew I wasn’t popular, but being with Candace while she was carrying my case didn’t help improvethat image, and those swords looked sharp.Itried to ignore all the stares and looks to the best of my abilities.
When we finally got to the throne room, or more precisely in front of its gigantic hoof carved wooden doors. In front of it were two guards in standard Solar empire uniforms. They didn’t as much a spare a glance at me. If it wasn’t for the princes I would have been opening the door myself. Seeing as a princess was in their presence, they bowed and opened the door, closing it after us and going back to their stony positions; when you come from the opposite end you can see them go back to their position.
The even bigger room was completely empty, to my surprise. I walked inside and started looking around, trying to find somepony.
“Auntie is in the courtyard, come follow me,” I heard Candace say somewhere from the room, there was an echo.
Making my way to the courtyard, which I remembered from memory; I spent some time exploring the castle after I was hired. It was always amazing to see the expensive glass windows that led out to the gardens. And if the windows were impressive, then the gardens itself were a sight to behold. Beautiful flowers of every kind were planted everywhere, not just at random but in a pattern that I still had to understand; the art stuff was still a little confusing to me and I didn’t understand it all the time. That did not stop me from appreciating the beauty of it nonetheless.
Another interesting thing that would catch someone’s eye were the maids. It’s not that they are pretty or something, it’s the fact that they were dusting the garden. For a time I was wondering if they had some mental issues, but it turns out they didn’t and that it was a regular thing. I just ended up putting it on my list or crazy and strange things.
The gardens were decorated as much with guards as they were with flowers. It seemed that at least one stood at every corner. At the farther end from this entrance I could see one of the more pompous and a narcissist of a high captain, where he was getting his portrait done by the most famous artist in Dunwall.
I made my way to the gazebo, one of Celestias favorite places in the garden. It was fairly big, bigger than the ones you would find in a royals home. The columns, because they reminded me of that more than anything, were decorated with artistic patterns and depictions of some events long past. The inner side of the roof had a strangely beautiful picture of two alicorns, one night blue with a starry mane and tail beside which was the fool moon and Celestia beside the sun. Under the two alicorns were six ponies bowing down to them, the ponies were very colorful and every one had a jewel above its head, in the same color scheme as their coats or mains. If you looked close you will notice that the jewels are in the shape of their Odraza. Now that I thought about it the night blue alicorn reminded me of Luna.
“I see you have an eye for good art, Shadow,” Celestia said right next to me. Ok, either I need to stop daydreaming so much or Celestia is a flipin' ninja.
“Yes. I was just wondering about the blue alicorn.” I said distractedly.
Celestia raised a brow and asked “I’m more than glad to tell you about her but I must ask, why the sudden interest?”
“It’s just that it reminds me a lot of Luna,” I said, only realizing moment after what I let slip.
“What did you say?!” both Celestia and Candace said in unison. Were all alicorns ninjas or did I just need to wear binoculars?
“Where did you hear that name?” Celestia asked in a worried tone.
“It’s nothing important, quite stupid actually,” I tried to assure them” It’s just a silly dream I had, nothing important” I doubted that it would work, but in the same time I was interested as to know more about Luna and to find if her claims were true.
“Did you have this dream last night?” she asked, her voice growing stern.
“Uh, yes but I don’t see what a dream has to do with anything?” I asked, my hind legs betraying me.
“Then you better leave it just as that, a dream. You should simply forget about it.” She said in her scary stern tone. I tried to protest and ask for an explanation but was silenced before I could voice even one word, by Celestias petrifying glare; which was even scarier from the ground, given that Celestia is two times my size.
“How about we forget all about that for now and let Shadow make his presentation” Candace said with a nervous smile, trying to defuse the tension. To be honest I was very much scared of Celestia at that moment, she always appeared to be the nice motherly figure. Not a pony that could squish you with her hoof and turn you to stone with her glare.
I didn’t want anything to happen to me if I continued poking at the bee hive, so to say. I stood up and dusted myself. Looking around I found my case laid against one of the columns. Taking out the sketches, the small scale model and the rest of the equipment I started my improvised presentation.
“As you all well know, earth ponies are looked down upon by most of other races and creatures for their inability to perform any of the more special or extraordinary feats…”
“…so in conclusion, it would be beneficial for both the unicorns and earth ponies to have access to this technology. It would shorten the amount of work for unicorns and enable earth ponies to accomplish jobs that would normally require magic or wings.” I finished my presentation at long last. It felt like I was going to crack under pressure, but then again that’s how I always felt when I had to do something important in front of the Princess.
“It does seem to be an interesting idea,” Celestia mused” But, are you sure it will work, and can you assure that they could get used to that idea .Both unicorns and earth ponies?”
“Well it should work in theory, and the small scale model should provide the general idea of its design,” I started to explain” There’s no doubt that it will be off-putting and a little frightening, both the idea and the machine itself. Hopefully with time the citizens will get used to it.”
Celestia seemed to think about it or a moment, weighting the possibilities and the drawbacks before finally coming to a conclusion.
“I’m afraid I’ll have to think about it. It’s a wonderful idea, but I don’t think that ponies would appreciate something so… out of the ordinary, something that goes so far out of their norm just thrown at them,” she said, carefully picking her words, she might not have said it but I knew that she didn’t like my invention.” So I think that it’s the best for everyone that this invention be held off until later on, when most ponies get more accustomed to you and your machines.”
I nodded to her and started packing my equipment. This was a total bust, I knew that I needed more time to prepare my speech. More sleep is what I need right now and something to eat, I don’t remember the last time I ate.
“This must be the first time you didn’t like one of his inventions,” somepony said right next to me, making me jump into the air and drop most of my papers and sketches on the ground.
I growled and started picking them up, not even bothering to spare a glance, or a glare in this case. I did this for a few seconds before gold and blue magic auras helped me with the rest.
“Shiny, you shouldn’t sneak on people like that,” Candace scolded Shining Armor, but it was not a serious one, just them being playful.
“Sorry dear, I wasn’t intending on scaring anyone,” Shining Armor apologized to his wife, but not to the pony he actually inconvenienced. They shared a couple of kisses and started a conversation that I didn’t listen to, and went back to collecting my stuff off the ground.
I really don’t like him that much, he is just like every other captain in the army, full of pride. True that he never said anything bad to my face and agreed with my long-ranged weapons, but liked to pull pranks and make fun of me from time to time. Sure it wasn’t anything serious, or something that would hurt me. It was something he did with his colleges, but the point was that I wasn’t a soldier and I didn’t appreciate that kind of humor.
“What is it this time anyway?” he asked picking up one of the fallen papers.
Not saying anything, just handing him another one of the sketches, the one that explained the invention a little more in depth. I collected the rest of my things and waited with the suite case open, waiting for him to finish looking at the sketch. I turned to look at him. He was wearing the standard captain uniform, although this one was more decorated than the others. He wore his blade by the belt, alongside the custom made gu… Wait where was his gun!?
“It certainly is an interesting idea, but why do you make so many weapons?” he asked after he finished looking at the sketch, and handing it over to me.
“It’s not a weapon, it’s supposed to help earth ponies do jobs that would usually require magic,” I explained with a sigh. You make a few weapons and suddenly ponies think that your every invention is a weapon.” What happened to you gun anyway?” I asked, hoping to change the topic.
Shining Armor rubbed the back of his head and smile sheepishly. “Well you see it kind of stopped working,” he said, avoiding eye contact.
“How is that possible?!” I asked in a slightly higher tone than I should have.” I made sure it worked properly, it’s all custom made, every part. There’s no way it clogged, is there?” I asked, my voice failed to hide my surprise and horror. Had I really failed with my design? That was the best gun I had made, and it was flawed?!
“It wasn’t that… it’s just that,” he tried to explain, still not willing to look me in the eyes” Listen, its better if you have a look at it yourself.” He said and pulled some kind of distorted metal out of his saddlebags. I took me a minute to recognize it as the gun I made for him, it was melted, bended, cut and destroyed altogether.
I stood there, with my jaw hanging, I didn’t move because I would have most likely fell over. ”W-What did you do to it?” I asked my voice but a whisper.
“Listen, Shadow, I’m sorry. There were some dangerous situations that I found myself in and the gun paid the price,” he apologized” But it was a well-made one, the mass produced ones clogged and broke while this one withstood even my use.” He remarked.
”It’s ok. I’m glad you enjoyed it while it lasted,” I sighed, I should have expected this. “Because I can’t make another one.” I said with a flat look.
“Why not?” Shining and Candace asked in unison.
“Because I don’t have the parts for a new one” I said in the same flat tone.
Candace snorted “Your whole office was full of spare parts when we left. You must have more than enough for more than one messily gun?”
I turned to face her, “It’s true that my office is full of spare parts,” she smirked” but they are all donations from other departments, and most are rusted, broken or in poor condition,” her smirk faded and was replaced with a frown” I could make a gun but it would be below the standard military issue, and would most likely explode or brake within the first couple of shots.”
“Doesn’t you department have a monthly budget yet?” Shining asked.
I was about to answer his question, but Celestia beat me to it, “We tried to address this matter at the last council meeting, but the majority voted against raising their budget.”
Shining was about to say something, but was cut off by one of his fellow captains.” Ah, Captain Shining Armor, I hope that your early return means that you expedition has been successful?”
“Oh, that’s right!” Shining exclaimed and drew a letter from his saddlebag presenting it to Celestia.”Thanks for reminding me Captain Steel Legion/Rise. May I ask for what reason have you brought the council with you?”
So that’s what his name was. And Shining was right, behind him were more than ten ponies, not including the pair of guards. Most of them were members of the council, but some were just rich business ponies and royals. Despite this one thing was certain, they were all unicorns.
I looked back at Celestia to find her reading the letter Shining Armor had given her. The letter was fairly long, but her eyes were darting from one side to the other at an exceptional reading speed. She slowed down near the end, frowning. That part must have been pretty bad because she re-red it more than once, every time she would her frown deepened.
After thoroughly inspecting the contents of the letter she placed it back in its envelope. She sight "These are dare new indeed. You are positive that the other countries hadn't experienced these problems?"
Shining Armor nodded ”At least for those that let us through their borders, some were unwilling to let us pass so we wouldn’t spread the plague to their lands.” His words had a lot of weight to them. Other countries hadn’t had a run in with the plague, and weren’t eager to do it, or they were just hiding important information about it. Conspiracies were strange, why would they hold off the information if they could sell the cure at a high price, if they had it, or help find one rather than not having one in case the plague infected its citizens.
Steel Rise/Legion coughed, trying to get our attention, which wasn’t that hard with the dead silence and all. “I must apologize for intruding on your conversation like this,” He apologized in a formal tone.” We have an important matter to discuss with the whole council. Now that Shining Armor is present we can also have his opinion and information concerning the other countries.” Why would they need to know anything about other countries? Last time I checked their noses were so far up their asses that they didn’t even notice others.
“I would like to know what is so important that it couldn’t wait for the next council meeting, but if the matter is so urgent let’s hear it.” A slightly annoyed Celestia said. Was she usually this scary or was she just having a bad day, like me?
“Certainly you highness,” he said with a smirk” But I will have to insist that this matter be known only by the members of the council” he said, turning to look at me.
‘Then why did you bring all the unicorns, asshole?’ I thought to myself. I wasn’t insane enough to voice it, so I satisfied with a flat look.
“Then why have you brought them?” Candace said in a curious and if slightly irritated tone, waving a hoof at the crowd of ponies; more precisely the non-council members.
“They play an important role in this matter and I would insist that they stay,” he said, giving a look to the pony next to him.
That must have been a signal of some sorts because the latter nodded and turned to a chatting pair of guards. “Oi, you two!” He yelled in a gruff and ordering voice” Belt up and escort this ‘fine gentlepony’ to his office!” If he had laid the sarcasm any thicker, we would have all drowned.
The pair of guards in question straightened up and saluted to their commander. I gave one last glare to the captain and his sarcastic friend before making my way to the exit.
Half-way to the exit I cooled off a little, but it was enough to make me take a better look at my ‘escorts’. They appeared to be pretty similar. They were both twice my size and well built, both earth ponies. They had the same brown coat, the only difference was that one had a blood-red main, while the other had a navy-blue main. They wore the lower rank uniforms, most likely that they were new recruits, because their uniforms were anyhow.
The two guards were silent, until we reached the throne room. This was rather stupid of them, because they could hear them better with the echo than outside.
“Did ja’ see da’ princess, she’s a beauty.” The red mained one said, in a more high pitched voice than his appearance suggested.
“Which one?” the blue mained one asked, his voice deep.
“Duh, the pink one. Tha’ white one is too old and strict.” The red mained one said. Were they serious or just that dumb?
“She is quite gorgeous, but she is also the princess. Oh, and they are both over five hundred years old.” The blue mained stallion sad. I noticed that he didn’t have the same accent as his friend, and seemed to be more polite than him as well.
Red main rolled his eyes” Ah know she’s tha’ princess, it’s just somethin’ for fantacizin’ about,” he said, turning to look at me” Isn’t that right… Uh, what’s yor name again?”
“My name is Shadow Forge,” I said through clenched teeth” Candace is married, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk about my friend like that.”
I’m guessing that they stopped following me, because I couldn’t hear their hoofsteps anymore. I didn’t bother to look back and check, not after that little chat of theirs.
“Wait, you know tha’ princess?!” the red maine one materialized in front of me and floated there. Wait what?!” Can you introduce us to them?” he asked eagerly.
“How are you doing that?” I stuttered weakly.
“Doin’ what?” He asked, seemingly unaware of the fact that he was floating in midair!
He was about to say something else, but was silenced when his jaw met the floor. His blue mained friend was the cause of his sudden and painful landing.
“You fucking idiot, I told you a thousand times not to blow your cover,” He hissed at the grounded stallion. At least he was smart enough not to yell it outloud.
He looked at me with a nervous smile on his face” You aren’t going to tell anyone about this, are you?” he asked, a beat of sweat dripping down his brow.
I decided to use this opportunity to get some more information and questions answered. “I won’t tell anyone if you answer me two questions’’
He hesitated for a moment then said” If they don’t cross certain boundaries then accurse” he said in a serious tone, then added” When we are finished with your questions, I would like to ask one myself.”
I nodded” Fair enough. Why is his voice so high and how was he able to levitate?”
“He made me smell weird fart of…” Red main started to explain, but was silenced when his friend stuffed a hoof in his mouth.
“Before I answer your questions, I would like to introduce us first,” he said. Yea, I probably should have asked about that too.” I am Dice, and this is my twin brother Slice. About your first question, I might have tricked him into inhaling some helium.” He said with a nervous chuckle, getting a glare from his brother.
“Well you do look awfully similar, but there’s a difference in your accents and the way you behave. Oh, and Slice and Dice really?” I voiced my thoughts.
“You’re sain’ it wrong, it’s Slice n’ Dice!” Slice corrected me, but was silenced by his brother shortly after.
He shook his head” Some idiots from the orphanage started calling us that and it stuck. I was adopted into a childless noble family, while Slice stayed on a farm. We didn’t know about each other’s fate until a few years ago,” he chuckled” nopony understood our names unless they heard the together. They thought that mine meant Dice, as in gaming dice and they thought that Slices name meant a piece of something.”
Now I felt bad for them, having no family must have been hard.” It must have been hard, being separated and all. Don’t worry. I know how some ponies in the orphanage can get.”
His eyes widened in surprise” You are an orphan too?!”
I sighed, rubbing the bridge of my nose” No, I’m not. I just spent a few years there. It’s a long story, ok.” I said, not wanting to talk about that right now.
“I can respect that," Dice said nodding " To answer your other question, my brother here is a pegasus. With how rare pegasi are we had to conceal his true identity, or risk him being captured and exploited in whichever way possible." he said in a grim tone." So can you please cape it a secret?"
I chuckled" You really are new here, aren't you?"
He narrowed his eyes "And what is that supposed to mean?"
"I means," I said slowly, smirking. His body shifted in to a fighting stance, ready to tackle me any moment. "That if I said he was a pegasus disguised as an earth pony, they would use it as an excuse to throw me out." I sad, awaiting his reaction.
Slice was the first to speak "Uh, dice, ya' mind getting your hoof off of my throat?"
He blinked in confusion, and then looked at his brother. His hoof was indeed on Slices throat, he must have put some pressure when I said what I did.
Dice winced and immediately removed his hoof from his brother throat “Sorry about that.” He apologized.
Slice rubbed the place where Dices hoof was moments ago before answering “Don’ worry yourself none, it was an accident an’ you didn’ hurt me anyway.” He said in his helium affected voice
Wait that shouldn’t be right, he should have breathed out all the helium by now. You know what, no, it has been a long morning and I'm too tired to think about it. I'll just answer Dice's question and go to sleep or eat, I just need a break for a while.
"So what did you want to ask me?" I inquired. I rubbed my right eye with a hoof, how long did I sleep anyway, it felt like I haven't slept for any time. But I know it must have been pretty long considering Candace had to get me, or it was just really early. If so, damn you Candace.
"Well if I was going to ask you one question, and just one," he started, what I felt would be a long speech about what he would do." I would like," ha I was right... I hate my life" to ask if I could get your autograph..."
He stopped, apparently expecting me to answer his "not question". So when all he met was my flat look, he just continued.
"...Well that's one of the things I would ask you, another would be to tell me a little about your life..." he stopped again.
When his second attempt failed his brother snickered behind his back, adding "You ain't gonna' fool him Dice!"
He glared at Slice, but nothing more. He turned back to me then with a sheepish smile."I have no idea what's he talking about."
That's when my stomach decide that I didn't need that assassin after all, if I didn't put something eatable in it soon. I said eatable because hagfish is just that, it's not food but it's eatable.
"Could you just ask one question, please? I haven't eaten in a while."
He looked utterly disappointed, but sighed in agreement nonetheless."Alright, but can you give me a minute to think of a good one first?"
I nodded.
"Thank you, and sorry for trying to trick you like that." he apologized, to which I gave a simple courteous nod.
He stayed true to his word and in a reverently short period of time, even by my rapidly changing sense of time.
"It was hard to chose just one, but here it goes." he said with heavy heart, for some reason. I know he's a fan and all but I am hungry and he and I do work at the same castle, it's not as if he's never going to see me again." What was it that you showed to the Princess?"
Well that was a fairly easy one." I could answer you that, but I think it's better to just show it to you," I said and started looking for my case, which disappeared somehow" You wouldn't happen to see a little black case?" I asked the twins.
They shook their head in unison, which was a little creepy.
"In that case, excuse the pun, I'll have to go back and get it."I started walking to the throne room."You do know you can come and talk to me whenever you want, just come by my office." I added.
____________________________________________________________________
I hurried back to the gardens, hopping I wouldn't be intruding on their conversation. I really needed that case if I wanted to go back home, my keys were in it!
As I walked through the halls I noticed something that disturbed me deeply, they were empty. The halls were never empty, at least one guard was present at all time.
I continued my walk towards the throne room, glancing every now and then for anyone. When I finally got to the carved wooden doors I saw that there were no guards there either. This wasn't normal at all. This was the one place where there would be guards stationed. The Princesses were in the vicinity, it was the one of the only places civilians could see so they had to uphold the image and it was their job to stand there for... for logicalities sake!
URGH! I'm not good with Equestrian slang! The only curses I understand are the direct ones, everything else is just stupid.
I entered the throne room slowly and hesitantly, not knowing what I was going to find there. It was empty like the rest of the castle, no guards, no maids or any other member of the staff.
I decided to go to Celestia, because two gods and a captain are much safer than standing here alone. But before I did anything I first went to check if the nobles were still there, which was reverently easy considering that the west side is a giant glass plain divided into smaller sub-sections; and not all of it was stained glass.
I leaned towards the window, careful not to get noticed. The nobles were still there, to my dismay, and so was my case, at the threshold of the gazebo. I cursed under my breath at my bad luck, nothing can ever be simple for me can it?
They were standing and talking, standing and talking, standing and talking for the last twenty minutes. I was getting pretty bored by now, but all that gave me time to notice some interesting things. For example there were no guards or maids here either, which was disturbing. There must always be guards near Celestia, not to mention now with such a large gathering of important officials of Equestria.
I just stood there, watching on their conversation, which from here was nothing more than watching ponies move their mouths. Why did I even put my things in that stupid case, this coat has so many pockets and so do my pants?! Banging my head on the wall seemed like the most appropriate thing to do in this situation.
I stopped before I made a dent in it and had to pay, I checked my pockets for something to pass the time. Suffice to say that the only thing I found was dust and a half a bit, and there are no half bit coins; I found a bit sliced in half. The interesting thing is that even a one bit coin is very thick copper plate, so the feat of slicing one in half and with precision, like this one, was quite a pointless time and resource wasting thing to do.
After a few minutes I got bored of the coin and all of the dust inside my pockets, so the other best thing, or most interesting, to do was watch a silent movie about ponies talking. I sighed and did just so. For the first couple of minutes nothing happened, but as I got more bored I started to observe the other buildings.
That's when I saw them, I'm not completely sure what they were, they were too far away for me to distinguish them. All I knew is that there were black pony-ish silhouettes, running across the roof-tops as if they were some kind of ninjas. They might as well have been by the way they were dressed.
I watched them with ever-growing interest, compared to what I've been watching for the last hour or so this was the most action packed, thriller, adventure... in short it didn't make me want to invent something better than a gun to shoot myself.
The rooftop ninjas, as I came to call them, continued their little show. Starting from the port entrance and seemed to be heading this way. Their feat would have been impressive if not for the fact that they were using magic to cross some of the gaps that were too vide to for them to jump over. I knew this, even from this distance, because when they would get to these certain points they would blur out and re-appear at the other side; otherwise known as blink teleportation.
I watched them for a while longer, until they disappeared near the entrance to the royal gardens.
''Great, just great," I sighed in disappointment " The only form of entertainment is gone now." I said to myself, which I've been doing an awful lot as of late.
Turning to the throne room, hoping to find something mildly entertaining but failing nonetheless. I wonder if a longer barrel would contribute to a faster velocity of bullet travel, or if it would be a better idea to make it so that it fired a larger number of smaller pellets. Hmm, for the last idea to work it would mean a lot of changes though, the barrel would have to be a lot wider and...
*BOOM*
I nearly jumped out of my boots. After spending such a long period of time in silence, an explosion was a bit of an overkill for an attempt at startling a pony. Suffice to say I let a girlish scream, ducked and covered my head with my hooves.
There were more explosions, but as I noticed none were in my vicinity; so I got up and looked outside the window.
There was smoke, some smoke and oh more smoke. The whole courtyard was filled with some sort of gas, or nerve toxin for all I know. The explosions had stopped, so I couldn't hear anything that was happening outside. I know in fact that some of the bombs were gas bombs, it wasn't just a layer of dust and dirt in the air, it was pure white and very thick.
The cower didn't last for long, suddenly all the smoke got blown by some nonexistent wind. Well more accurately it was sucked into a ball by Celestias magic. Then I saw it, the rooftop ninjas were in the gazebo, swords drawn, alongside Shining Armor, Celestia and Candace.
After Celestia sent the orb of smoke into nothingness, the royals started to advance, creating a closed circle around the gazebo. When everyone was at their supposed formations, with the rooftop ninjas keeping Celestia and the other too busy to notice this, they started to cast a spell.
I'm not a unicorns, so I didn't care to learn about magic, but even with my limited knowledge I knew that this large of a group was capable of casting a spell of great magnitudes. Perhaps a beam-ray to kill all three of them, or something of the sorts.
I was surprised to see them cast a semitransparent dome around the gazebo, and nothing more besides maintaining it.
Celestia looked more angry than I could have ever imagined her to be. Her once flowing spectral main was now slowly turning into a great white flame, the same thing was happening to her tail. I could see her having a conversation with the nobles, a rather verbal one by what I could tell.
Throughout this whole ordeal Candace went through a number of emotions, first came confusion, then fear, and lastly anger. As the last one started to emerge, and boil, she yelled something at the group surrounding them. It must have been something interesting, because more than a few stared at her in shock. Those that did got scolded by their accomplices, most likely for failing to maintain the spell channel or showing weakness.
Candace, more enraged for some reason, started charging her horn for a spell. The accumulated magic was a sight to behold. When she released the spell, nothing happened.
I believe the technical term is fizzle, when a unicorn fails to perform a spell. The only problem is that Candace is five hundred years old and fizzling a spell is the last thing someone would expect to happen. There had to be something more at play here.
Then I noticed that Shining Armor was having the same problem, he could not pick up his blade, however much tried his magic didn't work. Now I knew that Candace's fizzle wasn't entirely her fault, considering that she was over five hundred years old and had a lot of practice with magic during that time. The question is, what was causing it?
The only thing that I could think of was the dome, considering that Candace's magic was fine when she went to get me and after they cast it she fizzled out. Then again it's magic so it can be just a pebble that's causing the disturbance.
I was content with just watching this, there was nothing I could do. If anything I would end up doing more damage than good if I tried to intervene and I would most likely die. They wouldn't want a witness and I was expendable.
I wish there were some guards, or anyone for that matter, that I could inform or ask for help. Well, I guess that was the idea. Make all the guards and the staff in general not come here for a certain amount of time until they did... whatever they were trying to do.
I returned to watching the events in the gardens, not much had changed. Shining Armor had taken his sword in his mouth, deciding to give up to use his magic it seemed. He could really use my gun right about now, too bad he broke it - idiot.
Celestia, still in her fiery glory, started walking towards one of the ponies. To my surprise he didn't show any sort of emotion, no fear, not even flinching from the heat she was emitting; at least I think she was, not too sure.
Instead he smirked, he even started laughing of all things. Then, he proceeded to charge his horn and cast another dome around the previous one, this one was brownish and looked more solid than the other one.
Not diminishing the fierce glare from her face, Celestia, continued advancing forward. She got to domes end and tried to pass trough, but she was met with the solidity of the dome, or more accurately her horn was. Shaking off the impact the stepped back, raided her right hoof and stuck the barrier. The shattering of a magic barrier sound much like braking glass and, from what I was told and could observe it is very painful to the caster.
Steel Rise/Legion fell to the floor, clenching his horn with his hooves and scowling in pain. I think he let out some curses too, but, again, I couldn't her him behind the glass.
Another stallion in a silver trimmed suit barked orders to the casters and the 'ninjas'. The casters resumed their positions at maintaining the shield, the ninjas started to attack Celesta and force her away from the edge of the dome. I could see another dome forming just around the first one, this one looking more solid than the other and was a strange silver-ish gray hue.
It didn't take a genius to figure out that the fiery maiden would fight back, she was considerably bigger than they were and there's a reason Equestria didn't lose the great war. And so the former leader of The Equestrian Army proceeded to inflict pain and suffering to the 'ninjas' in many ways. A peculiar thing happened that I noticed after Celestia broke the neck of one them, he dispersed into black smoke. The same happened to those Shining Armor killed.
I got up and pressed my face to the glass, its flat surface cold on my cheek, and tried to get a better look at the phenomena from the distance.
No, it couldn't be.
But, I think it is... Wait... As far as I can see it is!
"That conniving little wench!" I screamed and quickly shoved a hoof in my mouth.
To my horror, Steel Rise/Legion turned his head towards my direction. His eyes grew large as he started yelling. Soon after more heads turned, their eyes widened in a expression of horror.
Steel Rise/Legion was the first to get a hold of himself, and started barking orders to the ninjas and the casters. What happened next would haunt my dreams for weeks, one of the rooftop ninjas ducked under one of Celestias punches, drew his blade and stabbed her trough the chest.
She didn't scream, her face betrayed no other emotion besides surprise. She looked surprised that she got wounded; in other words called unicorn syndrome, when you can't do anything without your magic.
Shining Armor and Candace fared much better, they weren't the prime targets. Instead the ninjas took advantage of their foes moments of shock and pinned the Princess down, but the Captain snapped out of it in time to land a uppercut to the jaw of one of them. He picked up his sword and resumed his fighting stance; and so did the ninjas.
Their attention snapped to the sarcastic pony - whose rank I didn't know - who was yelling some kind of orders. The remaining ninjas just nodded.
What transpired next was somewhere on the top of my strange list, Shining Armor started to float at the same time as one of the ninjas raised their hooves. He stared to trash around, but to no avail. One of the ninjas delivered a powerful uppercut to his jaw that made him drop his sword, while one from the side jumped and hit his head with the butt of his sword and knocked him out.
They were a lot more gentle with Candace, instead of physically harming her all they did was tie her up.
Then they turned their gazes towards my direction, but I wasn't there anymore. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me, I did not have a set destination but I was damned if I were to stay there any longer. Fuck my suitcase, I was expendable. No one would morn my death, heck they would celebrate if anything.
So I ran, ran and ran until I could run no longer. everything after that was a haze.
Footnote: 99/100 XP
Tip: Try breaking a vase or something next time... or don't you might have to pay for it.
Achievement unlocked: "So close!"