There’s this feeling known to many in which one’s morning is dictated by their experience that previous night. In most cases it’s the backlash of doing something incredibly stupid and then having to live with the consequences. Such examples include anything from a one night stand, waking up in a stranger’s house and having to walk back home, or going to an all-night kegger and waking up feeling like someone is trying to get to your brain by operating two electrical drills through your temples.
In his old age, Jon didn’t experience this much. As a happily married man, he never found himself in such a scenario, between raising a family and producing his show he rarely found time to go to any parties; and when he did they were more social gatherings that warranted maybe two glasses of wine.
The only time he felt, for lack of a better term, like shit the next morning was when he was up late at night coming up with new material before going to bed or spending after hours in the office either setting up for the next show or doing some paper work of the same nature. So, historically speaking, his version of the “morning after effect” was predominantly work related. As was the case for this particular dreary morning when he found himself exhausted after his run around in Equestria courtesy of Twilight Sparkle.
Of course yesterday didn't start off as work related, he originally went to find his friend Trixie. It was only afterwards when he met up with Rarity that things went from personal to business. Jon wasn't surprised, work always found a way to sneak up on him.
His adventure into Equestria emotional roller coaster consisted of alley chases, forced spa treatments, dealing with Rarity, and having his find almost burnt off. All of which made him ache the next morning in a constant reminder that he wasn't as young as he used to be.
But the worst thing of all was something he didn't even realize he did. Something unexpected, unforeseen, and incredibly stupid. Something which his assistant Selina Jensen was quick to remind him of over and over again from the moment he set foot into his office.
“I tried to tell you,” she said to Jon who had his head buried into a pile of paperwork on his desk. “I knew something like this would happen but you didn’t listen.”
Out of all the staffers at Daily Show Headquarters, including Jon himself, the most mature and hardworking employee hands down was Selina. While Jon and the writers were the heart and soul of the show, Selina always made sure things ran smoothly and liked to micromanage different aspects of the show from the most important to the least thought of positions.
She didn’t like being on camera or even in the spotlight, she instead opted to work backstage and delegate in peace and quiet. She found this to be a most honorable employment for a woman her age... and yet she couldn't help but to continue rubbing it in Jon’s face that she was right and he was wrong.
“This is what happens when you don’t listen... I tried to tell you,” she reminded as she placed her trusty tablet on Jon’s desk to show him the headlines on their own ‘Daily Show’ website, which revealed who they were interviewing in only a matter of hours. “I tried to tell you.”
As if Jon was willing to actually look at her device he raised his head ever so slightly and then further like he was about to address his assistant. Instead however he just slumped his head back to his desk with a loud thud before picking himself back up to continue his cycle.
Selina just stood and watched as her boss was busily pounding his head over and over again against his table, occasionally stopping to let out a groaning noise then continuing.
“Like I said,” Selina sighed. “I tried to tell you.”
Since Jon was busy trying to find a way to help his friend Trixie during her stay in Equestria, other things like his own show were temporarily set aside in favor of being there for his friend. However, ask anyone at Daily Show Headquarters and they would tell you that it would take more than a friend in a hospital to keep Selina from doing her job.
It was because of this that while Jon was at the Ponyville spa he got the most troublesome phone call in the form of Selina asking him who was going to be on the show on this very day. At the time Jon didn’t care about his show let alone who would be appearing on it so he instructed his assistant to set up an open poll on their website where any fan could make a suggestion. Selina tried to tell him that this was a bad idea, but Jon wouldn’t listen, leaving her no other option than to do what he instructed.
As well as being a good assistant, Selina was also technologically savvy. She didn’t know how to make her own computer or anything to that degree, but she did know about social networks and the best way in which to utilize them. After some Facebook posts here and Tweets there she announced to the entire fan base of this very special edition of “Equestrian Interviews” or as she had dubbed it “voting edition.”
And the results were as she expected.
Within a few hours their website was flooded with fans of the show and then some; at one point the main site crashed and she needed one of the tech guys to fix it. When word got out that the next pony to be interviewed was up to them people were anxiously prepared to voice their opinions. Sometimes for the wrong reasons.
Since this poll was completely open for any suggestions as opposed to selecting from a pool of pre-selected names, there were as many cases of people abusing the poll with obvious ill intention as there were people who were taking it seriously; if not more.
Selina was on standby for the most part, having to endure the obvious fake suggestions that came more often than real ones it seemed. Since this was an open poll on the internet she was forced to get rid of highly recommended guests such as “Santa Claus” and “Penis.” The latter of which at one point was the third highest recommended option.
After some time had passed, and Selina weeded inappropriate answers from the serious ones, the poll started to shape into an actual legitimate ballot. Fans had either the option of making their own suggestion or vote on ones that had already been submitted for review but herein laid the major flaw in Jon’s plan, which Selina tried to warn him about. Since the poll was for the next Equestrian guest, a lot of fans didn’t know who to nominate.
This wasn’t like picking a human celebrity in that you could just type in your favorite actor or comedian. The poll was for ponies and other talking animals of which the audience knew as much about as thermonuclear engineering.
This meant that for the most part fans winged it and imputed suggestions like “Pony- Doctor” or “Pony journalist” as their answers with others thinking outside the box by suggesting mythological creatures like “Manticore” or “Golems.” But in the end the top five suggestions turned out to be ponies that had already been on the show once before, again most who participated didn’t know any other ponies and instead decided to try for a re-interview.
This would have been the case but in fact the most voted pony was one who had been on the show once before but at the same time not really; a complicated matter which when explained chilled Jon to his very soul.
Unbeknownst to Jon at the time he had unwittingly damned himself to a fate most cruel. Because at the end the top most voted pony to be interviewed on the show was none other than Lyra Heartstrings.
The reasoning behind this landslide victory, Selina suspected, was due to the fact that the last time she made an appearance on the show her segment was cut off before it could even begin in the form of Stephen Colbert cutting into her screen time to literally steal the show. Of course at the time she, as well as Jon, knew full well that the pony was in fact not Lyra but Queen Chrysalis in disguise.
While a royal decree meant that everyone in Equestria knew of Chrysalis’ attack on the show it wouldn't be till a little while later that the general human population were up to speed. For awhile some still believed that the entire thing was a charade but after a brief explanation during his interview with Luna, and several reiterations both on and off camera the general census was accepted that the Daily Show had been invaded.
But while a small few still believed the attack on Jon to be fake and most believed it to be real, one thing was not debatable; that being Lyra never got to finish her interview.
So to that end she was voted as the most wanted pony to be interviewed by many fans of the show who wanted this chapter of the show’s history to be finally put to rest and get the chance to have the real Lyra have her moment on screen. By the time Jon realized what he had done it was too late to do anything about it, it was out of his hands.
“Blurgherah!” Jon mumbled as Selina took Jon’s phone without permission to thumb through his contacts.
“Again, told you so,” she said as she found the person she was looking for. Queuing up the name, Selina gave Jon his phone back to do the honors. “You know what you have to do... tell Celestia you’re ready for your next guest.”
Leaning back in his chair, as if to get away from his phone, Jon arched himself so far that the view outside his window was upside down. His face looked to be a combination of stress, fatigue, and a hint of sadness. Were it anyone else they would have comforted him but Selina took this as an unwillingness on his part to go through with it, which didn’t sit well with her since it was also her job to make sure he did his job.
“Oh man up, Jon!” she said in an unconvincingly stern voice on the assumption that tough love would do the trick. “I know you don’t want to but we have a duty to uphold.”
Her words didn’t do much to lift Jon’s spirits, but instead just made him sink deeper into his chair.
“Come on Jon, I know you don’t want to go through with it and trust me Lyra isn’t my favorite pony either,” she said rubbing her elbow, the memory of Chrysalis disguised as Lyra still fresh in her mind and occasionally aching joints. “But this is something we have to do... so please call Celestia, if not for me then for your fans.”
The idea of calling Celestia right now seemed like too daunting a task for Jon to undertake, but not for the reasons that Selina assumed.
“Fine... I’ll call her,” Selina said, leaning in to grab his phone. “But I’m serious when I say you need to get over thi--”
In a quick and spastic motion, Jon lurched forward and grabbed his assistant by her wrist before she could so much as come within a few inches of his phone. Shocked by this she recoiled her hand with Jon loosening his grip to allow her some room, his once distressed face now a picture of solid indifference which only served to mask his true feelings.
Getting up from his seat, Jon placed both his hands atop his table and stood up, slightly hunched over and staring down at the paperwork he had yet to accomplish.
“You’re wrong,” Jon said.
“E-excuse me?” Selina asked.
“I don’t have any qualms about Lyra being on my show... in fact it doesn’t bother me one bit,” he revealed. “I’m no longer afraid of her.”
The same couldn’t be said for Selina herself but that’s not what had her momentarily fazed. From the moment Jon entered the office to this very moment he brought with him an aura of melancholy like a tiny raincloud had been following him around the entire time. Selina had been working under the assumption that this was due to his being forced to have Lyra on his show, his own short sightedness once again being his downfall.
But now she was forced to take both a literal and metaphorical step back and evaluate what this meant. Something other than his forced interview with the spirited Lyra was eating at him and Selina didn’t know what it was. And as anyone who knew her would tell you she hated being out of the loop.
“If... if that’s true then... then what’s gotten into you, Jon?” she asked. “You know me, I only know how to be direct, so please tell me... what’s wrong?”
Rather than answering, Jon walked to the opposite end of the table where he grabbed a piece of paper which was in close proximity to his actual paperwork. Selina noticed from where she was standing that this single sheet of paper was actually a scroll like object with a partially broken red seal like one would expect to find at the Vatican library.
She didn’t recognize it but using inference, and taking into consideration his line of work, she gathered that it was some kind of message from Equestria. Thrusting his arm like a footballer, Jon shoved the parchment into Selina’s hands while at the same time making his way to the door.
Not being a fan of asking stupid questions, Selina narrowed her eyes and brought the delicate piece of paper close to her face while making sure to not wrinkle or tear into it; though the way Jon had shoved it practically in her stomach had crumpled the rest of the seal onto the floor.
Selina was a gifted speed reader, so by the time Jon had reached the door of his office she had already finished scanning over the entire notice twice to make sure what she was reading was true. The content wasn’t much, but the message was very clear which made Selina gasp in surprise and place a now shaking hand over her mouth as if to stop herself from saying anything else.
“J-Jon... I’m... I’m so sorry,” she said, feeling guilty about her previous boasting. “If I had... had I known I wouldn’t have said anyth--”
“It’s alright Selina,” he said, opening the door to the rest of the building. “I just need some time to process this.”
“If you want... we could cancel today’s show,” she offered. “Everyone here would understand completely and as for your fans well... I’m sure if we just play a prerecorded interview they’ll--”
“No; not an option,” he interrupted, now standing at the threshold of his office. “The fans voted and I made a promise... this is going to happen.”
“I see,” she said, taking one last look at the letter. “But what about... this?”
Looking at her outstretched arm, Jon could clearly see the letter he got from Canterlot Castle, official seal and all. He couldn't read it from this far away but by now he had looked over it so many times its words were forever etched into his mind.
“I’ll be okay,” Jon said as he walked away towards the main stage. “At least... I hope I will.”