//------------------------------// // Episode 15 [Luna]: You shall not pass // Story: The Daily Show presents: Equestrian Interviews // by Daily Show Ponies //------------------------------// It had been almost an entire length of his show since Celestia left Jon alone in his room after having dropped the major bombshell that was her proposal. Since then, he hadn’t moved from his sitting position on the side of his bed. He was too surprised by the option that was given to him. “Never want to see us again.” Jon knew that Celestia felt guilty, maybe even responsible for what happened, but to suggest that he might want to consider severing all ties to Equestria was an extreme he had never considered. What scared Jon was the thought that he’d never get to see his friends in Equestria ever again, but what scared him even more than that was the fact that, for a fraction of a second, he actually considered it. “No.” Jon murmured, as he stood on his feet. “To hell with that.” There was still some business he needed to take care of here in Equestria before he could even think about going back home, and even then, he sure wasn’t going to stop coming back. Not unlike a zombie, Jon shuffled his way across the room where his clothes had been neatly folded on a chair in the corner. His next goal was to do some exploring around the castle and he sure as hell wasn’t going to do so half naked. When he unfurled his shirt, the first thing he noticed was the gaping hole off to the side where Chrysalis had gored him. He paused to stare at it for a moment, unable to tear his eyes away from it. Mostly because of the ring of blood around it, still a shade of bright red, and also becuase, had she aimed a few inches higher, she might’ve gotten him right in the heart. It was a surreal thought that made him pause for moment before looking over at Trixie who was still sleeping in her bed. The mere idea that they were both alive was nothing short of a miracle, which is why Jon needed to leave his room for a bit. “I’ll be back, Trixie.” Jon said as he began to get dressed. “I just need to see someone.” After giving his friend a quick peck on the forehead, Jon made his way to the door which was located on the other end of the room, all the while wondering if this soreness would ever wear off or if he’d actually need a cane. When he rounded the corner of his bed to get to the door, he noticed something he hadn’t previously because of the bedside curtains that surrounded him, blocking his view. Standing there in front of the door to rest of the castle were two royal guards, each brandishing a large spear and matching armor. They were both white and, by the looks of it, in good enough shape to be classified as chiseled stallions. “Of course.” Jon sighed. “Otherwise, it’d be too easy.” Although guards in Canterlot castle were trained to look straight ahead in concentration, these two, for some reason, had their sights firmly on Jon as he approached them. “Hey guys.” He announced. “Listen, I need to run a quick errand so, could you guys let me through?” “Sorry, sir, but we’re not authorized to let you leave.” One guard claimed. “Our orders were to make sure that nopony other than royalty or a medical professional is allowed in or out of this room.” The other one added. “Oh well then we're in luck cause as it just so happens I’m actually the Prince of Manhattan and I have a medical degree from the university of Coney Island.” Jon boasted. Neither guard was even remotely amused. Jon stood there waiting for a laugh that never came; this was another scenario where he couldn’t joke his way out of. “Look fellas, I respect what you’re trying to do... really I am.” He insisted. “My old man did some security jobs here and there back in the day, so I know how it works... but come on, can’t you help a guy out? I promise I won’t get into any trouble.” “It’s not you getting in trouble that we’re worried about.” One guard sneered. “We’re were given strict orders to make sure you stay in bed.” “Besides... after what happened last time, you’ll forgive if we don’t exactly... trust you.” Nagged the other guard, much to Jon’s bewilderment. "Last time?" Jon asked. “Have we met?” “I’m sure you don’t remember us, but the when last we met you were here in Canterlot... you and your wife gave me and my partner here quite the runabout.” Explained one guard. For Jon, most ponies were indistinguishable from each other besides their color pallets. Royal guards in particular were, at least to Jon, a serious case of “Control C/Control V.” But like a properly thrown boomerang, it all came back to him. “Ooooooh right.” Jon moaned, having now remembered the last time he visited Equestria with his wife on a dinner date. “Flint and Tinder... Hey guys, good to see ya again.” But they said nothing. “Okay, I get it, you’re mad at me... but listen... what happened before was stupid.” Jon admitted. “It was wrong for me to do what I did, and for that... I apologize.” The two once again said nothing. They only stared at him with slanted eyes. “Look, you don’t understand I need... I just need to go somewhere real quick.” Jon pleaded. “I promise I won’t take long... no one needs to know I left... please... I beg you." For the first time since their conversation, both Flint and Tinder made a motion in the form of them sharing a glance at each other then back at Jon. “While we appreciate your apology, I’m afraid official orders are still our number one priority.” Flint said. “We are to let nopony in... or out.” “Do not think we do this out of pettiness.” Tinder added. “Believe it or not, we only want what’s best for you... which is for you to be here under our supervision.” On any other day, Jon would have admired their wanting to keep him safe, but in this case, he found their actions to be most infuriating. With a heavy sigh that showed his teeth, Jon took a step back and kneeled down on one knee to match eye levels with his two obstructing friends. “I... am so fucking sick... of people trying to get me to do things that are ‘for my own good.’” Jon said, his expression as straight faced as the two guards’. “First, that damn nurse wants me to stay in bed. Then, Celestia suggests that I might want to consider staying in my world, and now the pony versions of Laurel and Hardy want me to stay in this room... no ...no way!” “Mr. Stewart, please.” Flint urged. “You don’t understand, we just--” “Let me give you a little walkthrough on what it’s been like for me lately... I’ve had to endure many things in my life, but none of it compares to last night.” He continued as he raised his fingers to do a count-off. “In the past 24 hours, I’ve been beaten, skewered, tortured, and trampled over by a creature... a creature who I had to watch as she attacked me in my own studio, threatened my family, assaulted my co-worker, tried to kill my best friend, and came this close ending the life of my best Pony friend who might not even make... so no... You guys are the ones that don’t understand... I have something I need to do... and the first step in doing so is to leave this room.” Even for patrol officers, who don’t usually see much disorderly conduct, Flint and Tinder have had their fair share of experiences where they were in danger. Between the two of them, nothing even came close to what Jon went through, and because they themselves had no idea how they’d react in a similar situation, they opted to stay quiet as he continued addressing them. “So... here is what’s going to happen.” Jon added. “I’m going to get up, and walk forward, whereupon you two are going to step to the side and let me pass, and if you don’t, then I’ll force my way through... and before you think you can stop me, just know this... I didn’t even hesitate for a second about going one-on-one with Chrysalis... so I sure as hell wouldn't think twice about you two.” After saying all that he needed to say, Jon slowly got up on two legs and stared down at the two guardsman in front of him. Never once did their stern expressions waiver or change during Jon’s speech which made Jon do the same to match their level of intensity. The three of them said nothing afterwards and just continued to glare at each other like opponents in an old spaghetti western. The first to make a move was Jon as he slowly proceed towards the door. He limped step by step, but nothing changed. Flint and Tinder were steadfast in their refusal to move making Jon suspect that he might have to force his way through like he had promised. It was only till he got a few inches away from them did they finally react to his advances. Jon was all but certain that they would try to subdue him or, at the very least, use their massive spears to threaten Jon back to bed. As always, their training made it so it was impossible to tell how they felt by simply looking at their faces, but to his surprise, they both showed their true colors by simultaneously extending their legs to either their left or right and, in one fluent motion, stepped to the side to give Jon a clear path to the door. This act of understanding on their part surprised Jon in such a way that he momentarily stopped in his tracks. This only lasted a few seconds however since he immediately continued out the door and into an empty hallway. “Thank you.” Jon whispered before closing the door behind him.