//------------------------------// // The Toilet Incident - Part 1 // Story: The Great and Powerful Trash Can // by Tired Old Man //------------------------------// "Hnnnnnngggg" Deep within an unknown wooded area, a small caravan had stopped, dimly lighting the surrounding area with candlelight streaming out the windows on the sides. "Huff...huff..." Inside it, the Great and Powerful Trixie was practicing a new magic spell. One that she believed would make her a more powerful unicorn than Twilight Sparkle. "HNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG" She had strained and stretched her magical capabilities to their limit, yet she could not complete it. This was a very high-level spell she had acquired. In fact, it was one of the three most powerful spells a unicorn could learn. "Huff...huff...huff..." Trixie sat down on a stool and took a breather. Opening a trans-dimensional gateway was seriously difficult. She had heard rumors of a mirror being used for such a spell in the Crystal Empire. She had a small hoof mirror no larger than her head, and figured that would be a good substitute, maybe even making the spell easier to complete. So far, her efforts have been fruitless. However, she was determined to complete this spell. Twilight Sparkle had embarrassed her TWICE so far with her do-goodie magic and deceptive trickery. Trixie thought if she couldn't even do one of the most powerful spells in Equestria, she couldn't hold a candle to Twilight. She rose from her stool and glared at the mirror, her reflection staring back at her with confidence. Again, she tried the spell. "HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG-" The mirror began to glow and vibrate, and her reflection slowly began to vanish as it was replaced with a prismatic vortex of color. Trixie closed her eyes as she channeled every bit of magic she had left in her. "-GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Trixie had hit her limit again, and had to stop, breathing heavier than her previous attempts. However, once she opened her eyes, they lit up with cheer and excitement. Trixie had done it! The small hoof-mirror no longer showed a reflection, but was now brimming with a rainbow corona of energy around its edges, and a deep swirling vortex leading to a world unknown. "YES! Yesyesyesyesyes! I'm FINALLY greater than Twilight Sparkle!" Trixie bounded across her caravan floor with the energy of a young filly, reveling in her success. However, she needed to check to see if the spell truly worked. She carefully approached the mirror and stuck one of her hooves in it. She felt something light on the other side, and grasped it before pulling her hoof back. She pulled back a sheet of tissue paper...and it was used. "Blech!" Trixie discarded the rubbish outside one of her windows. Did she make a portal to somepony's bathroom? ...no, she reminded herself. She just cast a trans-dimensional spell. It HAS to be another world that made tissue paper! In that case, she decided it was time to see that world for herself. This time, she stuck her head in, keeping her hat down with a hoof so that it would fit. -------------------------- Journal Entry #267 You're not going to believe this one. I know I've said that maybe fifty times by now, but those times I was usually very, very drunk. Tonight I was not, so you're REALLY not going to believe this. I guess I should start with the day before, though. I celebrated my 40th birthday. It was a nice day. My friends and I all went out to a nice restaurant for dinner. The meal was fantastic. Then they brought out a big box wrapped in birthday gift wrapping. I was excited to open it up, they normally got me smaller trinkets and gadgets before now! ...it was a box full of Centrum Silver. The look on my face was priceless to them, as they laughed for a good fifteen minutes, while I scowled and buried my head into the table. I actually forgot those guys can be mean practical jokers. So, I took my "prize" home at about nine in the evening, and got ready for bed. I had work tomorrow, so I didn't bother staying up long. Unfortunately, my body had other plans, for about two in the morning the next day my stomach growled violently. I guess dinner last night got into an argument with my gut and things just escalated from there. I pulled the sheets off, grumbling to myself as I wiped the sleep dust from my eyes, and shuffled over to the bathroom. Flicking on the light switch, I eyed my target, a pristine white toilet. I promptly disrobed my lower half and took a seat on it, about to enjoy the sweet release of emptying my angry bowels. That was interrupted immediately as the small trash can to my right exploded in a cloud of tissue and toilet paper rolls. I panicked and fell off to my left side, hiding behind the toilet as I peeked my head up over the lid. I didn't see anything. Curious, I got up to examine the trash can from a higher angle. My heart nearly stopped dead at what I saw...and this is part where you're not going to believe me. I saw a face...I think it was a face. Not just a face, but a blue face staring back at me with ridiculously huge eyes. It had a purple hat of some kind on its head, and a horn sticking out from its forehead. I still think I imagined that...but I KNOW I didn't imagine my reaction...and I have proof that it happened, but that will come a bit later. The moment I saw the horn I screamed, and started looking for something to defend myself with. My eyes fell on the plunger I had next to my toilet, just behind the trash can. I had a crazy idea as soon as I saw the plunger, so I grabbed it and placed it on that creepy blue face. I then began to plunge with both hands as hard as I could, driving whatever that was back to where it came from...or kill it, it freaked me out THAT badly! It must have been maybe five minutes. Whatever that blue thing was, it was putting up quite a fight, trying to force its way through. However, the resistance soon ceased, and I slowly lifted the plunger up to look beneath it. The blue face was gone...but the trash can wasn't empty. Inside it was the same purple hat I saw earlier before I went Toilet Warrior on the creature. I lifted the hat up, and the bottom of my trash can looked normal. I then inspected the hat. It looked like a child's magician hat, decorated with white stars and moons. A bit tacky for my tastes, but there's my proof of what happened. I certainly didn't own a hat like this before now. I'm not sure what that creature was, nor do I want to know. What I do know...is that I have their hat. I really hope they don't try to come back for this thing. I might burn it, just to be safe. I really want to believe this was some crazy nightmare, and that I imagined all of this...but this magician's hat is proof otherwise. Oh well, at least my stomach calmed down enough so I can go to sleep. Still, I wanted to write this all down before I went to bed, just in case I wake up and look in you again to see this entry had disappeared...and to be honest, I really want this entry to disappear so I don't have to remember it again.