Spike felt as though someone had beaten his entire body with a sledgehammer.
He had experienced bits and pieces of this sensation before. Dragons were tough things, but accidents happened. Injuries tended to pile up even when he wasn't helping his friends save the world. Once, Scootaloo had landed directly on him, scooter and all, while attempting a new stunt. The result had been several shattered scales and a broken ridge. Another time, he had been assisting the Apples in refurbishing their barn, and one of the supports had given way at the wrong moment. He had lost a few teeth from that, and his right hand had been broken.
This felt like someone had taken all of his past experiences with pain, rolled them up into one white-hot iron bar, and then gone to town on him with it. Even the festering, acidic bubbling sensation of his wounds from Chrysalis was back.
His left wing was trapped underneath him, which was uncomfortable, and he could tell that the skin on it was ripped, which was painful. He considered rolling over and freeing it, but that would involve moving his other wing. He decided against it. Even with his eyes shut, he could tell that it was pointing in entirely the wrong direction, and even the thought of attempting to move it made him shudder.
He settled for opening his eyes.
Only one of them really responded. His left eye felt as though it was swollen shut. He squinted in the sudden flare of light and let out a rumbling groan.
The light was too bright, and he was still too disoriented, for him to really take in his surroundings. He could smell smoke, and the light stabbing into his pupil had a flickering, orange quality, which meant somepony had lit a fire. There were also a couple voices whispering back and forth, though he couldn't quite place where he knew them from just yet.
When he groaned, the voices suddenly became quiet, and he heard hoofsteps approaching. After a moment, Compass Rose's face swam into view. The unicorn, thankfully, looked as though she hadn't been badly injured by the crash. She was limping, and obviously bruised, but nothing worse.
"Spike?" she asked, radiating concern. "Are you all right?"
The dragon gave this due consideration. Then he coughed, dislodging a few fractured teeth, and said, "No." His voice was a low, powerful, almost tectonic sound. He was obviously still in his larger state.
Compass' eyes widened. "Your mouth-"
Spike managed to shake his head, and immediately regretted it. His neck creaked audibly with the motion. "Not a big deal," he croaked. "Dragons... lose teeth all the time. They'll grow back."
He caught sight of Pith Helmet. The earth pony was seated on the far side of the fire with one leg stretched out at an awkward angle. He gave Spike a concerned look, but didn't say anything. Compass obviously had the situation in hand.
"What about your - your wings?" the unicorn was saying. She was looking away, towards the rest of his body, and Spike knew that the flinch on her features was on his behalf.
He almost turned to try and look at them, but caught himself at the last moment. Movement was a bad idea at the current time. Besides, he could feel the damage. He settled for snorting and saying, "Those don't."
"Well, that is wonderful," said a new voice. This one dripped with malicious amusement. "That leaves Team Friendship as, let's see, a unicorn who can't use magic, an earth pony who can't walk, a pegasus on magical life support, a dragon who can't fly, and one of the top four most despised entities in Equestrian history." There was a cackle. "Truly, a force to make the assembled armies of evil and generalized nastiness quake in their boots."
Spike shut his eyes and let out another groan. Of course it would be him, he thought. As if things couldn't get any worse. He heard Compass Rose gasp and take a few steps away from the source of the sound.
"Oh, come now, Spike," said Discord brightly. "Is that any way to greet an old friend? After so long, too. I would have thought Rarity would rub off on you after a while. She was always an excellent hostess."
It took the dragon a moment to gather the willpower to open his eyes again. When he did, he wished he hadn't. Discord always hurt to look at when he was doing... whatever he was doing that made reality bend like that.
The chimera was standing in what appeared to be a gondola surrounded by a tiny lake of milk chocolate. Both the boat and the lake were suspended several yards above the ground, laughing in the face of gravity, and Discord was perched in the back, poling his way along with a length of wood that reached all the way down to the stone floor.
Tailspin was standing in the front of the boat, wearing a very familiar expression. It was the same expression everyone wore once they had been around Discord for any length of time, a sort of mix of absolute terror and near-terminal annoyance. She was staring fixedly ahead, as if attempting to ignore the maniac. Spike noticed that she was standing in an odd position, but he couldn't make out her hooves from this angle. What he could see was that she was wearing Rarity's necklace.
"Spike?" Compass hissed. She was attempting to hide behind one of his outstretched arms. "What is that?"
Before Spike could answer, Discord gave a theatrical sigh. "You see," he said, apparently addressing Tailspin, "this is the point where I should be making my fainting couch joke. He would get it. But nooooo, I had to go and spoil my own fun."
"That's Discord," Spike grumbled. "I was hoping we wouldn't find him."
"Why, Spike, you wound me!" Discord brought his little flying boat over to hover in the air above their fire, then reached down and removed something from its floor. There was a brief gurgling sound, and Spike realized that the noise was a plug being removed. The little chocolate lake disappeared upward, through the tiny hole and into the gondola, and the boat began to sink towards the ground.
It touched down with a clunk of wood against stone, and Discord stepped out, leaving Tailspin behind, trapped in what was effectively a tub full of chocolate, with her hooves affixed to something that appeared to be a mass of melted cotton candy. Tailspin just stared straight ahead, jaw set. There was a muscle jumping over one of her eyes.
"And here I thought you'd be happy to see me, after all I've done to help you," said Discord, strolling over towards the fire and waving one claw expansively. "I mean, if it weren't for me, you wouldn't be safe and sound here inside the castle."
Spike's wings twinged. "Yes," he growled. "We're so grateful. What do you want, Discord?"
"Didn't I just say?" There was another stab of uncomfortableness from Spike's eyes as Discord rearranged reality around him once more, leaving him sprawled on a lounge chair beside the fire, wrapped in a bath robe and holding a large glass of something that was, presumably, alcoholic. The effect was slightly spoiled by the crazy straw in it. "I'm here as part of Team Friendship."
"He's apparently been helping us this whole time," said Tailspin, her voice slightly strained. "Getting Pith the branch, getting me the necklace, making it so that we survived that crash."
"Thank you, Tailspin," said Discord magnanimously. He gave a hefty slurp on his crazy straw and turned a look of smug self-satisfaction on Spike. "You see? If the Element of Honesty says it, then you know it must be true."
"Are you ever," said Tailspin through gritted teeth, "going to get me off of this thing?" The cotton candy pile that she was stuck to gave a wet squelch and sank slightly into the lake of milk.
"Oh, fine." Discord gave a sigh and snapped his clawed fingers. There was another twist, and the gondola vanished, along with the cotton candy. This left an extremely damp, sticky-looking, and livid Tailspin standing in the middle of an expanding puddle of chocolate milk.
"I don't believe I heard a thank you," Discord called over his shoulder as he stirred his drink with the straw.
"That's because I didn't say it." Tailspin's voice was level and even. If it weren't for the expression on her face, she would have seemed perfectly calm.
Discord gave a huff. "Well, fine," he says. "Be that way. Pinkie Pie always found my chocolate gondola rides highly enjoyable, but I suppose even Laughter changes over the years."
"What are you talking about?" It was Pith's voice. The stallion was still sprawled awkwardly on the stone floor a few feet away from Discord, and was eyeing him warily.
"The Elements of Harmony, of course." Discord drained the rest of his glass, which immediately refilled itself from nowhere, and gave Pith what he obviously believed was a winning smile. It just turned his face into a forest of knife-like teeth. "Your marefriend over there is the bearer of Laughter and Honesty, in case you hadn't figured it out yet. Not the combination I would have chosen - Honesty always finds a way to turn even the most entertaining ponies stuffy - but there you are. The ability to face up to things as they really are, warts and all-" another smile "-and the ability to find joy in them anyway. A perfect combination, if you can call such a subdued version of Laughter 'perfect'. Like peanut butter and..." He stopped, looking thoughtful. "Bananas, I think it was. Yes. Peanut butter and bananas."
Spike sighed. Having Discord around for any length of time was like a cheese grater being scraped across his frontal lobe. He would almost have preferred the windigos. They would have been less painful.
"This is Discord," he said, glancing over to Pith. Compass was still hiding behind his arm, and he didn't have the energy to look at her. "He's... the spirit of disharmony."
"Ah-ah!" Discord raised a claw. "Reformed spirit of disharmony, thank you very much. Tia even gave me a sticker as a reward for good behavior, once. It was a little golden sun with a happy face. I seem to have misplaced it."
"Right." Spike sighed and shut his eyes again. Just watching Discord was tiring enough. "He's... well, he's aggravating, but he's sort of on our side, I'm guessing, because if he wasn't, reality would be coming apart at the seams right now."
"Yes," grunted Tailspin. She was attempting to scrape the cotton candy off of one of her legs, but was only succeeding in getting it stuck to the other legs involved in the process. "He seems like he really wants to help, and he says he knows where the Elements of Harmony are." She gave a slight cough. "Among other things."
"That's what I was afraid of," Spike muttered, still not opening his eyes. "Whenever Discord wants to help, things tend to get a lot worse very fast."
"I assure you, I have the best intentions." Discord reclined into his seat and took another long slurp from his drink. "Perhaps you can fault me on execution - you all did turn up on my doorstep a little less intact than I would like - but I am doing my best."
Spike forced himself to open his eyes again, ignoring the continued pains from the rest of his body. "Your 'help' hasn't gone so far as to actually stop any of these horrible things from happening. What about Pith's leg, or Compass' horn? Did your 'good intentions' not stretch that far?"
"Well," huffed Discord, sitting up a little straighter, "ex-cuse me for not being quite so omnipotent as I once was. It's hardly my fault that I don't have the magical reserves that I used to. Your precious Twilight Sparkle took care of that."
Spike's eyes narrowed. "So Twilight took your powers away from you," he growled. "Princess Celestia told her never to do that unless you stepped over the line. Why should I believe that you want to help us when you've just admitted that you went back to your old ways badly enough that Twilight had to stop you?"
"Oh, please." Discord scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Tia was a stuffy old pony, but I actually did think of her as a friend, you know. Just like I thought the same of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, even if the rest of you never trusted me." He folded his mismatched arms over his chest and scowled. "It is hardly my fault that Twilight never even attempted to bond with me the same way they did. Nor is it my fault that she took away my powers for no good reason."
"Friends?" Spike could feel the fire rising in his gut again, and the wounds from Queen Chrysalis' attack were stinging violently. "You didn't even come to their funerals, you lying-"
"Well, of course I didn't!" the creature interrupted. "Can you imagine the scene if I had tried? I can. And, while it would have been absolutely hilarious, I decided that I would rather pay my respects privately, after the ceremony, to avoid causing a scene and tarnishing the memories of the first two ponies who ever really treated me as a friend rather than something to be tolerated." He lifted his head up haughtily and snorted, looking scandalized. "Even I can learn a bit of restraint, you know."
Spike was about to open his mouth to roar at the misshapen thing when Tailspin stepped in. "Spike," she said flatly, "you're getting off-track. And..." She grimaced. "As much as it might hurt you to hear it, I think Discord is telling the truth. Twilight took away his powers for no good reason, because she was starting to... well, crack."
The dragon brought his one good eye around to stare at her. "What," he said slowly, "are you talking about?"
Tailspin was sitting back on her haunches with her forelegs held out in front of her. She had managed to get most of the cotton candy off now, but she was still damp. Even with her coat matted and sticky, however, she looked far better than she had the last time she had been tied to his back for transport.
"I mean," she said, obviously picking her words carefully, "that Twilight was alone for a long time after a series of events that really, really hurt her. Celestia and Luna died, Spike. You read about it in that journal. That left her alone with Discord when she needed a real friend to help her." She glanced at the chimera, grimaced, and forced herself to add, "No offense."
"None taken," said Discord airily. "As I said, it's hardly my fault if Princess Sparkle never had any interest in becoming friends with me. I tried regardless, because nopony else was going to, and I could see where all of this was going to end. Eventually, she got fed up with me, shoved me into the throne room and locked me up, just for trying to help."
"But-" Spike looked back and forth between the two of them. There seemed to be a great, yawning pit opening up in his stomach. "But then why didn't she wake me?" It was almost a wail.
"Well, I would have thought that was obvious." Discord shrugged. "I mean, really. Her baby brother, who is also, in a manner of speaking, her son, loses his wife and all his friends, and spends years wallowing in depression because everypony he knew and loved growing up is gone. He decides that he needs some time away from it all, and leaves her with the means to bring him out of his happy dream-time."
"So?" Spike stared at him.
"Do I really have to spell it out for you?" Discord heaved a great sigh, then snapped his fingers again.
Immediately, there was the sound of hoofsteps from the staircase. For a moment, Spike's heart leapt; a tall, elegant purple alicorn with a mane filled with starlight was walking down the steps. Then, as quickly as it had come, the brief glimmer of hope vanished. The image of Twilight was translucent, and there was another, equally-obvious fake Discord floating along behind it.
"I said no, Discord," snapped the simulacrum. Its voice was hollow, and seemed to echo around the entrance hall. "I will not bring him back to this. It was bad enough to lose the others. I won't pull him out of his dreams just to make him support me."
"But he did say..." began the not-Discord, raising one clawed hand. Part of Spike registered that the real Discord was mouthing along with the words, and had raised one hand to move his fingers in an imitation of talking.
"He said for me to call on him if I needed him," snapped Twilight. "But that would mean interrupting his rest and bringing back all those painful memories just to add even more weight to his shoulders. I will not put Spike through that. I will not."
"So what's your plan, then?" said Discord's double, in a purely conversational tone. "Just sit up there in that tower, all alone, and pretend that you can carry the whole world on your shoulders? You can't, you know. It's much too heavy. Weighs tons."
"Spike told me to wake him if I needed him," Twilight said. "But I will not do that to him. So I will become somepony who won't need him. Not even for this."
The images reached the base of the stairs, where Twilight's stopped, wings spread, breathing hard. Spike saw that she had obviously been crying; her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, and she shook slightly as she stood.
The Discord copy lowered itself to the ground and folded its arms, frowning. For once in his life, Discord actually looked quite serious, and there was no hint of his usual unctuousness in his voice when he said, "I did try to tell Tia about this, you know."
Twilight glared at him. "About what?"
"About the lesson. My lesson. About friendship." Discord gave her a long, considering look. "I told her you would need to hear it before long, but she wouldn't let me. She said I was wrong." He gave a heavy, genuinely regretful sigh. "You know, I respected Tia. But she was wrong about a lot of things, and this is one of them. But it's probably too late for it to make any difference now."
The alicorn snorted and tossed her head, looking disdainful. "You have a lesson to teach me about friendship?"
Discord merely shrugged. "Well, yes. Tia couldn't tell you, because she never learned it herself. None of you ever could, because you wouldn't let yourselves think about it. But it's still true, and it's still important."
Twilight gave him a sarcastic smile. It was a sharp little smile, like the edge of a knife blade. "Very well, then, Discord," she said calmly. "Tell me. What is this lesson?"
Discord drew himself up. For a moment, he had the look of a pony who was about to do something that he knew would end badly.
He took a deep breath and said, "That it ends."
The forced smile on Twilight's face didn't drain. It crumbled, and it seemed to take the rest of her with it. Spike felt the yawning void in his stomach open up wider, threatening to swallow him whole, as he watched his oldest friend sink to her knees, sobbing brokenly.
For a few long seconds, there was nothing but the sound of Twilight's weeping and the crackling of the fire. Then the alicorn shut her eyes and took a few deep, steadying breaths, rising slowly to her hooves once again.
"You-" she panted, eyes still closed. "You would dare say that to me, now?"
Discord grimaced, but remained unmoving, still as a statue. He didn't even answer. He just watched Twilight as she turned towards him again.
When she opened her eyes, there was a steely glint in them that there hadn't been before. "How dare you," she spat. "How dare you! I am done putting up with your insults and tricks, Discord! I let you stay in this castle because Princess Celestia asked me to tolerate you, and all you have ever done to repay her hospitality is cause havoc and insult everything that she ever stood for. And now that she's dead, now that she died defending me, you insult everything she ever taught me, and act as though you're doing me a favor."
She stamped one hoof, and her horn began to shine with violet light. "No," she hissed. "No more. Goodbye, Discord. I am done with you."
There was a flare of brilliant luminescence that filled the entire hall. When it faded, the images were gone, leaving Spike staring at an empty expanse of stone and feeling as though none of the physical pain he was experiencing could possibly be worse than the stabbing agony in his mind.